For I wait for You

Psalm 25: 1, 3, 7, 11, 20, 21

To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul…
Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed…

Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions;
According to Your mercy remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O LORD …

For Your name’s sake, O LORD,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great…
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You…
For I wait for You.


He said to me…

I forgive you
I have redeemed you
I have not rejected you
Wait for Me

There is another who would steal my heart

Psalm 44
4 You are my King, O God…
5 Through You we will push down our enemies;
Through Your name we will trample those who rise up against us.
6 For I will not trust in my bow,
Nor shall my sword save me.
7 But You have saved us from our enemies,
And have put to shame those who hated us.
8 In God we boast all day long,
And praise Your name forever.

There is another, My Beloved, who would steal my heart. He woos me, he wants me, not to have me, Beloved, but to steal me from You.

And although You will not let him have all of me, he is content to take what he can get. To deter me from Your presence, Your service, Your peace and Your love.

And I cannot withstand him, no. He is too smart for me. He masquerades as an angel of light and pretends he is my friend.

But he hates me. He would destroy me.

I cannot withstand him, My Beloved, but You can. I will not trust in my strength, but in You alone.

Protect me, My Beloved, from him. You are victorious, the One who conquered even death itself. Cover me with Your blood so that I may be forgiven. Hold me close and whisper Your truth to me. Do not let me go. Let me feel Your heart, let me feel You, closer than my breath.

He cannot have me. I am Yours.

What my mother taught me

Barbara, it is your job to guard your virture. No one else can be trusted to do this. It is for you to do alone.

Men are wired to conquer your virtue, not to protect it. All men. There are no exceptions. It is up to you to guard your body and your mind and your heart.

We guard our virtue for our Beloved alone, not for any man. We guard our virtue because our Beloved is a jealous Lover. He would have us to have none before Him, none beside Him. We cannot hide from Him in darkened rooms, behind closed doors. All is laid bare before Him, every look, every touch, every breath, every longing of our heart.

So, Barbara, guard your virtue with all diligence. The penalties are woesome but the rewards are sweet.