Tuesday, June 24, 2008

He's all we need

Come, let us sing a song
A song that reminds us we belong
To Jesus
He's all we need.

It is playing in my head, the song with Sandy Patti belting out the lyrics.

I'm reading Donald Millers' book, Searching For God Knows What, and he talks about how when sin entered Eden, and fellowship with God was broken, humanity began to search for self-meaning from other people. He talks about how people strive to tear each other down, and look for prestige to impress other people, with fancy cars, expensive houses, fashionable clothes, extraordinary accomplishments, good looks, and outstanding athletic abilities. We search for love from other people.

Well, Donald, you must have been reading my script too. I have made a career out of trying to make others happy. Beyond serving them to the glory of God, which is what I am supposed to be doing, I find myself getting depressed when I am not pleasing others, when I am not making them happy.

As if anything can make someone happy, but that is another story...

But as I wash dishes this morning, this song runs through my head and reminds me that Jesus is all we need. It doesn't matter if my daughter, my husband, my dear friend, my boss, or my mom are displeased with me today, or if they forget to call, or compliment me on my latest accomplishment.

Jesus is all I need.

And He loves me, He sees me, He has not forgotten me. You know, He wanted me to know He had not forgotten me so much, that He woke this woman up in a dream, had her call Patsy Clairmont, to tell her that, just for me. Well, ok, for you too!!

So, come, let us sing a song that reminds us that we belong to Jesus. He's all we need.

Monday, June 16, 2008

no go outside

My grandson Gio, soon to be age 2, is learning new words. One is his favorites is "go outside." The lad loves to go outside so much that he has figured out how to open the doors and climb down the stairs, so we are careful to lock the doors. The other day I discovered that the little bugger can now OPEN THE LOCK!

Sounds amazing, funny even but for us it is scary because we realize he can get outside, into the street really, without us even knowing. I made a big deal of stooping down to his level and saying, with all the seriousness I could muster, "Gio no go outside by yourself! Only go outside with mama or grandpa, or grandma, or aunt Debbie." As I kept repeating "no!" Mama Christina instructed me, "Mom, tell Gio it's dangerous to go outside. Don't tell him just no." And I wondered to myself, what does Gio understand about dangerous?

Today I pondered how this is like us when we sin. We are tall enough and able to "open the lock." God has given us free will and we can make our choices and we are able to do what we want. It occurred to me that it is not that God is angry with us, as much as He understands the danger that we face when we do not follow His truth. Like Gio, we cannot grasp the danger. Like us parents and grandparents, it is not like we want to stifle the fun, as much as we desire to protect and keep safe.

When we cannot not understand God's truth, we can still choose to trust and believe God and obey because we know He is a good and great God.

Or we can do what we like, and face the consequences.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

giving it a name

My friend Stephanie had an operation six weeks ago and complications have caused her great pain ever since. Finally this week she found a doctor who could give a name to her medical issue.

What power there is in being able to name something! Almost like you suddenly have power over it in some way. You know what you are fighting, what you are dealing with. You can talk about it with more confidence and intelligence.

You can accept it, deal with it, and move on.

My therapist gave me the coolest tool. It is called "The Feeling Wheel". And what it is simply, is a list of feeling words, arranged in such a way as to be able to pinpoint more exactly how one is feeling. Co-dependents, like me, have trouble identifying their feelings.

So I have been doing this.

Envy was the last one. Hard to name, because, well, it's a sin. But in the end, I know what to do with sin. Confess it, and then my Beloved offers me forgiveness.

Today's was a bunch of words: rejected, discouraged, inadequate, insignificant which also translates to scared. Not a fun group of feelings to look in the face. But when I did, when I named the feelings, confessed them to myself and to God, He gave me His power over them. I knew what I was fighting, what I was dealing with. I accepted it, dealt with it and moved on.

Moving on. That's what I want to be doing.

note: Find "The Feeling Wheel" online via Google.com.