Thursday, March 18, 2010

a time to weep

Ecclesiastes 3

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Today my little white dog KC was put to sleep.  Sweet to the end, he had laid there bleeding for two days and the vet said the time had come.  I had to take my evening walk alone.  No greeting bark was heard on my arrival back.

Today a letter was sent that sealed the end of my time at Claridge House.  I lasted a year, but now in 9 more days, I will need to leave and not come back.  The residents and vendors I speak to are sad and I want to weep.  But nothing can be done.

And that is it, really.  Nothing can be done.  Gio struggled to accept and understand.  He was mad at us.  When it was time for us go the vet with KC, and to leave him there, Gio kept saying "not yet, not yet!"

Not yet.  It is never time enough.  We want to hold onto the warmth, like the September days when we want summer to last forever. But the autumn winds blow and reminds us that we cannot stop the seasons.  We cannot stop the aging.  We cannot stop time and death and change.

But the snow piles melt and spring returns.  The days lengthen and the sun burns bright reminding us of the circle of seasons, giving us hope until we are united with our Beloved.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Saturday, March 06, 2010

It is NOT up to us

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery...

and they thought...

It is against the law.  What she did, it was immoral, illegal too in our town.  We cannot just let her get away with it!  What will the others think?  They will think it is alright for them too!  It is a bad witness.

And you, Jesus, have been befriending these people, these sinners.  Tax collectors, harlots! You do not come from the God we serve!  The God of Moses who gave us these laws that we have been trying so hard to get Israel to follow.  God will take away our land again if we ignore the law.  We will not do it, nor allow and encourage these others to break the law too.  It is up to us and we will do whatever we have to to hold onto our nation.

"In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"

Let them all see, this crowd who loves you, what you are really about!   Let them see your disrespect for the law.  Show yourself to be an impostor!  Come on, come on!  What do you say?

They made her stand before the group...

and she thought...

Jesus, why do you let them treat me this way?  It is true what they say, but they did not take my lover too, they only took me!  They have no interest in my life, my sin.  It is you they are coming for.  My lover was a man, an important man at that.  It is I, the disposable woman who they took because I am nothing to them, like an old worn out dog, not even that valuable.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

Jesus, they say you are different, that you value women and children too.  See the women who follow you.  They say you are kind to them and to all: the rich and the poor, the learned and the simple, the religious and those far from God.  What are you doing drawing on the ground when they will soon stone me?  Help me! Protect me.  Save me, Jesus.  Forgive me! I am a weak and sinful woman!

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

and Jesus thought...

I love them all, these confused souls who think they do My Father's will and yet cannot see His love and power in Me.   Fill them, Holy Spirit, so they can see their need for the mercy that I so long to give them.  And let this woman feel the pain of her sin and the joy of the forgiveness I will show her.  Father, Our children, they fight and hate each other!  How it makes me weep and how I long for the peace of heaven. There they will all sit together at Our table, laughing and embracing one another.

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin. -- John 8:1-11

 "It is up to us," that is the lie.  We can not beat down the sin of others with stones.  Only the Holy Spirit can draw souls, convict and heal.