Sunday, June 08, 2008

giving it a name

My friend Stephanie had an operation six weeks ago and complications have caused her great pain ever since. Finally this week she found a doctor who could give a name to her medical issue.

What power there is in being able to name something! Almost like you suddenly have power over it in some way. You know what you are fighting, what you are dealing with. You can talk about it with more confidence and intelligence.

You can accept it, deal with it, and move on.

My therapist gave me the coolest tool. It is called "The Feeling Wheel". And what it is simply, is a list of feeling words, arranged in such a way as to be able to pinpoint more exactly how one is feeling. Co-dependents, like me, have trouble identifying their feelings.

So I have been doing this.

Envy was the last one. Hard to name, because, well, it's a sin. But in the end, I know what to do with sin. Confess it, and then my Beloved offers me forgiveness.

Today's was a bunch of words: rejected, discouraged, inadequate, insignificant which also translates to scared. Not a fun group of feelings to look in the face. But when I did, when I named the feelings, confessed them to myself and to God, He gave me His power over them. I knew what I was fighting, what I was dealing with. I accepted it, dealt with it and moved on.

Moving on. That's what I want to be doing.

note: Find "The Feeling Wheel" online via

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