Saturday, October 28, 2006

an audience of One

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:5-6

Let me confess ... I have been trying to find friends to blog with.

I have been sending my friends blog-entries. I have put my URL on all my emails. I have been blog-surfing, I guess you would call it, looking for people to connect with. I tried looking for like-minded people. I tried looking for lost people to communicate the love of Christ to.

I confess to you I have been looking for an audience. Like the hypocrites Jesus talks about in Matthew 6, I have been trying to find a cyper-street corner on which to pray out loud. And You, my Father in Heaven, in Your infinite mercy and wisdom, has thwarted my efforts on all sides.

I need to give this up and understand that this blog is a prayer. I need to remind myself that I have an audience of One.

And really, who else is my audience? One time I showed an entry to a friend. I had wrote it specifically to process an on-going conflict we had. He did not get it. He said the writing was good but he did not get the part at the end. That was because it was not written to him!! God got it. He got the whole thing. He didn't need me to explain it to Him.

Jesus, Beloved, You alone give me words, thoughts, the heart and spirit to desire to communicate with you. Sometimes I read what I wrote and am comforted. Maybe someday You may indeed enlarge my boundaries and give me a wider audience. I do not think it would be bad to pray for this. But in Your time and in Your way, not mine.

Maybe I will never have a wider audience.

It doesn't matter. Because the God and creator of the Universe, He hears my every word, sees my every tear, even the unspoken whispers of my heart. He loves me. He reads every word. He always had.

What more can I ask for?

1 comment:

jana said...

Don't worry about that.

As long as you blog about what you want and when you want... Of course with Je's (I lovingly refer to Jesus that way haha) help you'll get people to read it...


Plus, Je's the best audience.