Sunday, July 05, 2009

Just different

We are doing a couple's study for the summer and the study is called Love and Respect. In this DVD presentation, Emerson Eggerrichs explains how men and women think differently, talk differently and have different needs.

"She has a need that you don't have. Is that ok? It's not wrong, just different."

As he talks about the differences, giving us examples and stories of illustration, he keeps going back to this...not wrong, just different.

Judgment is a subtle thing. We judge everything in our world, as we pick out fruits at the grocery store, choose car insurance, decide who to call with a problem, choose our words with our friends and co-workers, we are constantly making judgments: good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or dangerous. Judgment and discernment are important, valuable, essential tools that we need to survive. Women, especially, try to figure people out--What did he mean by that? What will she think of me if I tell her this?

And without even realize that we are being judgmental, we are being judgmental.

Maybe I should restate--I am being judgmental.

And even with my understanding of male and female differences now that I am becoming a Love and Respect expect here (ha! I'm joking!) I cannot assume that I know someone's motives. I need to ask to find that out because we are all different.

Not wrong, just different.

Father, in so many areas, I find my self softening, being more gentle and open to other's concerns and needs, but I am not yet where I need to be, where I want to be. Help me see others through Your eyes of mercy and grace and not take offense, but ask questions and assume always, until unmistakably sure, that the person I am dealing with is good willed. Let me voice that assumption of good will in all my questions. And when I show mercy and am unsure what I will get in return, remind me that over all, I can trust You.

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