This past week has been tumultuous. As always, everything speeds up in September, but for us Ruglios, this is an extreme.
Currently, I work as a church secretary part time, and although I love my job and the people I work with, I have felt God has been leading me to change to full time employment.
Since May I have been working on writing and rewriting my resume, meeting with career counselors and employment agencies, emailing cover letters to potential employers, networking and asking for prayer. This week, I landed my first two interviews and it felt real enough to tell my Bible study group, the MOPS team and my boss of my leaving. All were so sweet, hating to see me go and wondering how life would go on at the church as I have been such a standard there for now 13 years.
My first interview on Thursday was amazing – a man who may be not be committed to Christ, as we would see it, yet doing Christ’s work, caring for the homeless in a warehouse in Newark with a vast comprehensive program. I was enthralled and encouraged.
I returned to church to work on Friday, pensive and sad and concerned for the people and the work still yet to be accomplished here at Montclair. As is my habit, I sat in the balcony Friday afternoon, finishing the Sunday service PowerPoint, listening to the worship team on CD. One of the songs was Made to Worship (Chris Tomlin), which was in the song list for this Sunday. Through the evening and the next day, it keep playing in my head, Pastor Jeff’s voice and the worship team singing to me over and over.
Today, I stood in the service and as Pastor Jeff began to sing the bridge of that song, I opened my eyes, and stopped worshipping to watch him as he sang it live. And as he did, I said to myself – It’s not him!
And I felt the Father say to me, “No, it is not him, it was never him, but it was Me all along, singing over you as you served Me. I only used his voice.” And I smiled.
How often we fall into the trap of thinking that the Spiritual Gift is attached to the person who ministers to you! Whether it is singing or preaching or even in the Gift of service, we forget - it is Him.
It is not me who served the Body of Christ here at Montclair. It was Christ all along, He only used my hands. And when I leave, He will still be here, using someone else’s hands. How sweet to know that it was never me, it was always Him.
All we are
And all we have
Is all a gift from God that we receive
Brought to life
We open up our eyes
To see the majesty and glory of the King
He has filled our hearts with wonder
So that we always remember
You and I were made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
When you and I embrace surrender
When you and I choose to believe
Then you and I will see who we were meant to be