For Good

On a rainy Saturday evening in August 2021, my mom decided she wanted to go out to to dinner. It was already getting dark, the rain was heavy, the wind was starting to howl. Plus my mother and her companion Frank were in their 90s. It was a bad combination. There was a car crash. Mom ended up in the hospital with a broken sternum and Frank was badly bruised and shaken. When we went to see the car, I was amazed no one was killed. 

Mom and Frank miraculously recovered but their car did not. Without a vehicle and an hour and a half away from all their family life became more difficult. After much discussion, mom and Frank were finally agreeable to moving closer to us in a senior independent living facility. They were able to sell mom's house quickly to one of her nieces whom she loved, and they moved in April of 2022. Mom was so happy to sell her home, which she lovingly decorated and renovated for almost 30 years, to family. And she adored her new senior living apartment. She enjoyed going to the dining room every night for dinner, making new friends, and walking the beautifully landscaped grounds. I was thrilled that she was now only 30 minutes away and I since I retired in July, I was able to visit her once a week. There was also an emergency medical team on site: just pull a cord and they come. Mom used that several times. 

On a chilly Wednesday afternoon in October 2022, I visited my mom and as soon as I walked in the door she announced she needed to see the doctor because the pain in her stomach had gotten worse. As I looked more closely at her, she looked yellow. After we pulled the emergency cord in the apartment again, the medic recommended she go to the emergency room. Scans found a mass on her pancreas. It was cancer. 

We postponed treatment until after Thanksgiving and her 94th birthday celebration. We had hoped she could tolerate chemo but after two sessions it became clear she could not. Her body began to "fade away" as she called it, beginning right before Christmas. Since she was now living close to us, we were able to quickly engage in-home care for her and visit her often to enjoy her as much as we could during her last days and monitor her care closely. We were able to support her and Frank and all say our goodbyes before she left us on January 16, 2023.

Who would have thought that a car crash would be what God used for our good? But that is what happened. A year and a half before the cancer took her, God used a car crash to move mom and Frank closer to us. God used a difficult board member at work to cause our office to install a new payment system that caused me such stress with the implementation that I decided it was time to consider retirement. God used my brother's disabled elderly uncle to help him know how to get home care quickly. God used a global pandemic to get my niece to move to closer to us. God used hard things to get us all exactly to the right places so that we would be prepared and close when my mother passed, so we could give her a good end to her life.  Losing her was so hard but it was a great blessing to be able to be close to offer her the best care and to support each other. 

Romans 8:28 is a favorite Bible verse. I would often repeat it to myself for comfort when things went sideways. But sideways is always from my own perspective. God knows exactly what He is doing. He uses evil for good. He uses suffering for good. He used a car crash, a difficult board member, a sick uncle, a global pandemic, all for our good.

Let's just trust Him with the rest, shall we?

 

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).