An Awesome God is to be Feared

I was five years old and on vacation with my parents. It was an after dinner show and we sat near the front as the singer on stage performed. And he kept looking at me, smiling, catching my eye. 

Even at that age, I sensed this man was huge compared to me. I was a small child in the audience, one person among many, and so young at that. But he was paying attention to me. Honestly, I can't remember much from age five, it is 65 plus years ago now, but I vividly remember this. It had that much of an impact on me.

As I continue to focus on the fear of the Lord, I ponder this feeling, of me at age five, gaining the sustained attention of the performer, the man on the stage. In a small way, it should summon the awe struck feeling I should experience as I approach the throne of God.

I confess I have gotten too familiar Him. I need to recall how Awesome He is.

I have spent most of this summer at our beach cottage, 500 square feet with two tiny bed rooms and one bath,  a minimalist experience especially when filled with our family. But outside, there is an enormous ocean and expansive sky that makes it clear how small we are.   

Fear of God is not "run away and hide" fear. It is the realization of our place in the universe. God is HUGE. God is Awesome. And we are small.

The fact He notices us at all is Amazing!

In 2 Samuel 6, King David desired to bring to Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. Good idea, but not so good an execution. David was careless. He didn't read the Law that explained how the Ark was to be transported from one place to another and a man died for that carelessness.  The result? 

David was afraid of the Lord that day; (2 Samuel 6:9) 

The Torah had instructed all kings to make their own copy of the Law and to read it each day, but David must not have done that. David then regrouped and found out how to move the Ark in the prescribed manner and did it with extraordinary care.

Fear of the Lord should make us careful. It should make us feel humble. It should make us thankful that a God so mighty would care for us, would notice us, would listen to us. It should motivate us to discover His ways and His Law and to obey it. It should prompt us to come to Him in prayer each day with reverence. To bring every care, every decision, every trial to Him first, before our girlfriend, mother or Google.  

A storm came today. Here you can see it coming because there are no large buildings or trees to hide the sky. The weather pushes relentlessly from west to east and a wise Jersey shore gal knows to keep her eyes on the sky. It tells her it is a beautiful sunny afternoon so add more sun screen, or like today, to stay close to home because the rain is coming. 

Likewise, we need to keep our eyes on God through His Word and in prayer. To stay safe, to keep peace with Him and others. In this life, we will have trouble, but when we keep our eyes on Him, He will be our banner and our shield. 

After all, He is keeping His eyes on us.

Father, cultivate in me a healthy fear of You. That fear will encourage me to seek You first; not be impatient, self-centered, or prideful. Instead it will give me the gifts of self-control, kindness, humility and generosity. 

... You shall surely set a king over you whom the Lord your God chooses... It shall be, when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, that he shall write for himself a copy of this law in a book, from the one before the priests, the Levites. And it shall be with him, and he shall read it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord his God and be careful to observe all the words of this law and these statutes, that his heart may not be lifted above his brethren, that he may not turn aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left, and that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his children in the midst of Israel. (Deuteronomy 17:15, 18-21)

God's Design for Marriage

What is God's design for marriage? 

Whether you have a good marriage, or a troubled one, even if you have given up on your marriage, this is important topic because you are raising children. And as you raise them, you are imparting information to them about men and women, relationships, and about marriage. Even if that is not your intention, they are picking up your cues. Therefore if not for your own sake, then for their sake, get wisdom. Proverbs 19:8 tell us: The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper. Think about what you are doing and what you are telling your children as you live your life before them. 

In the very first book of the Bible, Genesis, we are told how God created the earth and men and women. Even if you do not believe in God, from my experience, this is wisdom. You don’t have to believe in God for this to strengthen your marriage. 

God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, [God] took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. 

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Genesis 1:31a, 2:15, 18, 21-24) 

This is from the first two chapters of the Bible. It’s the origin story. Immediately after the creation of the universe, and all life, God creates marriage. 

It is noteworthy that right after He created people, God orders relationships, and the most important relationship is marriage. Before the birth of any children, any parent-child relationship, any brother-sister relationship, there is marriage and the scriptures give us several vital details. 

God first points out that although the world He created is very good, it was NOT good for the man to be alone. From what I have seen, it is still not good for men to be alone. A Harvard Medical study from June 2019 agrees. Here is a quote: 

“A major survey of 127,545 American adults found that married men are healthier than men who were never married or whose marriages ended in divorce or widowhood. ... If marriage protects health, the heart would be a likely beneficiary. Japanese scientists reported that never-married men were three times more likely to die from cardiovascular disease than married men.” 

From the Genesis account, it is clear that the woman was created for a specific purpose, for the man’s good. We are his helper suitable for him. The Hebrew word expresses the idea of an indispensable companion, a partner or ally, who is right for, suitable for, or corresponds with him. The woman was designed to supply what the man was lacking in God’s design of creation and it is implied that the man would supply what she was lacking. 

The marriage resulted in the man and the woman becoming one flesh. 

• What does it mean to become “one flesh”? 
• And how can we fulfill the role we are created for, to be the helper and partner for the “good” of our husband? 

The phrase one flesh refers to more than just a sexual union. It describes the inseparable relationship between the man and the woman in marriage as God intended it. The Hebrew word refers to more than just a sexual union. The man and woman bring into being a new family unit which supersedes the parent-child relationship and all others. It is the primary relationship. They are on the same team. But even more than that, what hurts one hurts the other: physically, emotionally, financially. 

We think of “getting our way” or “letting him have his way” but it is more complex than that. Hurting him, impacts us in ways that is sometimes hard to see immediately or to predict. 

• When he is sick, we have to care for him. We can’t depend on his help because he is unable to assist us. 
• When he is sad, he can become angry or withdrawn, making everyone in the household miserable. 
• When money is spent unwisely, the whole family is impacted because finances become tight. 

Caring for his needs benefits us and the whole family. Making him feel respected, comfortable, and loved benefits us as well as him. This is the secret of a strong marriage. The wise wife knows her welfare is tied to his. 

When getting our way leaves him depleted emotionally, physically and financially, we are not winning because he has lost because we are one flesh. When he loses, we lose too. 

So how can we bring him good? Here’s a few ideas. 

We must remember, he is our primary relationship and he will be there when our children begin their own lives and leave the home. It is tempting to put him last on our list of priorities because we have young children who need our constant care. As soon as he walks in the door we want to hand him the baby and give him our list of needs, or worse, complaints. Caring for him is more than just the laundry, the cooking, or the house cleaning. It is using our unique nurturing characteristics and talents to apply them on his behalf. We should share our needs, but let’s also ask him about his. 

Let’s carve out periodic priority time to talk and to do fun things together. Also let’s also make our bodies available to him, by being affectionate, and saying yes to sex, even if we may not feel “in the mood”. We can help by telling him what we like and what would help us “get in the mood”. We can care for our bodies, not only for our own sake, but also for him. 

Let’s be good stewards of the family money by not spending more than what is available and by making frugal choices. With Amazon on our phones, it is so tempting to shop all day long. Let’s stop and ask the question: Do we really need this? Especially for moms who stay home and do not bring any income into the home, we need to understand and be compassionate about the burden he is under as the only breadwinner. 

Let’s be respectful when we disagree, not yelling, belittling him, or treating him like a child. I know this is hard when we are around children all day. It is especially important to be respectful when we are both in front of other people. Let’s not undermine him in front of our kids. Let’s listen to him, ask questions patiently, and not assume his motives before he tells us. 

Let’s remember we are on the same team. He is never the enemy. He is our one flesh. 

As we love and care for our husbands, we are loving our ourselves, because we are one flesh. When we hurt him, force him, belittle him, ignore him, or act like we can’t trust him, it hurts him and then also us and our family. 

What about my needs, you may ask. Our husbands will be more open to meet our needs when we are being good to them. It is easier for them to be open to a request than a demand. When we make requests in a gentle, respectful manner during a time that is good for both of us, he will be more open to saying yes. This is what the bedroom is for, dear ones! When the day is done and all is quiet and cozy under the covers, that may be the better time to help him understand our needs and be receptive to our views on the issues of the day.  

But we also have to understand, sometimes his answer will be no and we must respect that. We must manage our expectations. Sometime what we want or need is beyond what he is able or willing to do. Like we want our children to respect our no, we need to respect other people’s no, including our husband’s. Especially our husband’s. 

Our goal is not to fix him. Our goal is to love him and bring him good. Because we are one flesh and what is good for him will be good for our family. 

For me, one of the best things about being a Christ-follower is the knowledge that my God is able to meet all my needs. I trust my husband but he is a flawed human, just like I am. Ultimately, I trust God can fill any gap. I can let my husband be who he is, and love him, trusting God will be the one who completes me. 

Father God, this is easier to write than to live out. Help me actively bring my husband good, always state my needs in a gentle respectful manner and ultimately trust You to provide. 

Journey to Paradise

Because we wanted to add adventure to our vacation in Puerto Rico, we decided to take a trip to the Isle de Culebra, located 17 miles northeast of the main island. 

We rented a car near San Juan and tried to make the 10 am ferry to Culebra on Tuesday but we missed it by half an hour. We bought tickets for the following day, 10 am in the morning and the return trip to the main island leaving Culebra at 9:30 pm. 

On Wednesday, we were determined not to miss the ferry again. The staff recommended arriving one hour before departure. We were up at 5:45 am, quickly ate our hotel breakfast, packed our gear and lunch, and were on the road by 7:30 am. It takes over an hour to drive to the far eastern end of the island where the ferry is located. I grew nervous as we made two wrong turns adding to the length of our drive, but Google maps kept us on track.

At the last leg of our trip, we were stopped by police blocking the what seemed to be the only road that connected us to the ferry launch. It was now close to 9 am as we anxiously asked the policeman how to get to the ferry. He only spoke Spanish but somehow we managed to find the right detour. 

We parked the car and waited for a shuttle from the parking lot to the ferry. We were one of the last to board but we made it. It was an hour ride on the ferry. At the ferry dock, in the business section of Culebra, there was a street full of of vendors offering taxi rides, or jeep and golf cart rentals. We decided on a golf cart. Christina took the shuttle to the rental store, while I waited with our gear by the ferry dock. Half an hour later, Christina comes with a golf cart that was more complicated than we expected. Off we went to Flamenco Beach, bouncing hard with each rut in the road, and there were many! 

To our delight, Flamenco beach is perfect for a day trip. It had bathrooms and showers and cafes. We rented an umbrella and two chairs. As we waited for our turn to have the umbrella set up, I briefly considered that if we had stayed at our hotel, we could have been on the beach for hours already. Then I saw the beach.

It was beyond what we could capture on film. It was magnificent. Crystal water, white sand, green mountains in the distance. It was paradise beyond what we could see because there was so much that was NOT there. There were NO tall resort hotels, no electric wires, no sound of traffic or air planes. Only the gentle lapping of waves, chirping of birds and the occasional rooster crowing. 

As I walked the beach, I considered our long journey to this paradise. It had taken 5 1/2 hours. It included a wake-up before dawn, a long drive, wrong turns, and a detour that threatened the whole trip. Then there was a long boat ride, waiting for the rental golf cart, a ride through unknown narrow roads, dodging pot holes and chickens, not knowing in the end what we would find. It required patience and courage, determination, sacrifice and hope.

It was like all of life. I am confident of the Lord's promise, that we will someday be in an even grander eternal paradise with Him, but the journey of life is long and hard. It requires all those things: patience, courage, determination, sacrifice and hope. 

We didn't need to do it. There was a choice involved. We could have chosen to stay at the hotel. But then we would have missed it. 

Paradise is never nearby. It's not where everyone hangs out. It requires us to take the road less traveled. We must choose the hard thing and make the sacrifices it requires. We must do it afraid.

After our swim, we went to explore other beaches. We traveled up and down hills that resembled roller coasters, took several wrong turns but found two other beautiful beaches at sunset. We walked after we returned the golf cart and waited for our return ferry, drove home and crawled into bed after 1 am. It was a long day. But a wonderful one.

God has created incredible beauty but we have paved over it, strung electric wires around it, and built tall buildings blocking the view. To see His glory, the paradise He created, it is a long, hard journey. But as I closed my eyes that night I was grateful that I had the patience, courage, determination and made the sacrifice to go and see.

Also in life, I make sacrifices with hope that I will be with God in the Heavenly Paradise He has created. Even with the hard things, I look forward to the Joy of eternity with Him. Especially since we won't have to leave. 

Remind me of this, Beloved, when the road of life is full of danger, sorrow, pain, and uncertainty. Remind me of at the end, there is forever with You in Paradise.  

The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
    The skies display His craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
    night after night they make Him known.
They speak without a sound or word;
    their voice is never heard.
Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
    and their words to all the world.  (Psalm 19:1-4)

When Our Feelings Don't Care About the Facts

Last night I watched a video featuring popular conservative commenter Ben Shapiro. At the end of his talk he took questions and one especially interested me. The question was: what will it take for Ben to convert to Christianity. I found his answer interesting because it seems his thought process is: I am a Jew, I have always been a Jew, all my forefathers were Jews, I have invested significantly in my faith and so it is hard to change. 

 

It sounds like the man who wrote the book Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings has been caught in the exact trap he has warned others about: 

Sometimes we find that our feelings are so strong that they don't care about the facts. 

But Ben is right, facts are important. Truth is important. Not "my truth" or "your truth" but The Truth. Whether or not Christianity is true is important. 

If Jesus was who He insisted He was, that is He was the Son of God, then what He taught is also true. Jesus predicted His death and resurrection to His disciples several times while He was with them. If Jesus died and rose from the dead as He had predicted, then He was who He said He was. 

The resurrection of Jesus is the lynch pin of Christian faith. Paul states if the resurrection is not true, our faith is in vain. But if Jesus did rise from the dead, then He really is the Son of God. This fact becomes even more important than life or death -- it is about eternal life or eternal death. 

Because there is no law we can follow that will admit us to heaven. We are all broken, doomed to fail over and over. An honest look at our own lives demonstrates this! We need someone outside of ourselves to save us. 

Jesus is the savior we need. He lived a perfect life because He was the Son of God. And then He paid the full penalty for our all sins when He died on the cross. All we have to do is believe: to accept Him as Lord and Savior. Then the Holy Spirit will fill us and conform us to the righteousness of Christ from the inside out. 

There are many proofs of His resurrection! The followers of Jesus wrote it down and their followers copied and copied their eye-witness accounts by hand and saved them over the centuries, so convinced they were of it's truth. Today we call their writings the New Testament. Many died a martyr's death because they refused to deny their earnest belief that Jesus rose from the grave! 

Ben is too wrapped up in and too invested in his religion to see this objectively. His feelings are overruling any of his openness to facts. His refusal to seek the truth is crucial not only for himself, but also for his children, and their children... 

Father, I am not exempt from this. May I always have my eyes open to see Your truth, Lord God! Help me to be one of Your witnesses to not only what Your have revealed in Your scriptures, but also what You have done in my life. You have changed me from the inside out. Praise Your Holy Name. 

 * * * * * * * 

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) 

 The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.” (John 19:7)

The high priest said to him, “I charge you under oath by the living God: Tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.”  

“You have said so,” Jesus replied. “But I say to all of you: From now on you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.” (Matthew 26:63-64) 

They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him. “We are going up to Jerusalem,” he said, “and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him. Three days later he will rise.” (Mark 10:32-34) 

 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. (1 Corinthians 15:14) 

He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” (Acts 16:30-31) 

God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.” (Acts 5:31-32) 

He was not seen by all the people, but by witnesses whom God had already chosen—by us who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. (Acts 10:41)

Boundary Lines

Lord, You alone are my portion and my cup;
You make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me
in pleasant places;
Surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5-6)

No really, he was having fun!

We were at the beach with my family on a perfect spring day: sunny and cool. My grandchildren were happily playing in the sand. After a while, Zachary, age 13 months, decided to go for a walk. He toddled in the sand aimless at first and then noticed the ocean. Zachary LOVES the water and this caught his attention. He walked towards it, down the beach and making it almost to the waters edge. At this point I stopped following him and barred his way, standing between him and the water. He would have walked right in! I picked him up and carried him to a safer place.

Later I considered how often I am like Zachary, entranced by something that looked delightful to me but instead was dangerous. How often have You, Jesus, stood between me and what I desired. 

Like Zachary did, I cry in frustration at first. I pray to You, Lord, and You say no. You firmly close the door. Only later in retrospect can I understand how, in Your mercy, You have saved me pain. Indeed You have saved me from death, from forfeiting my family, my legacy of children and grandchildren. 

Your boundaries may seem limiting with my human eyes, but they are not. Your boundaries have fallen to me in pleasant places. You have given me a delightful inheritance as I follow You.  

You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing. (Psalm 16:2)

And the Winner is

Mom and I always watched the Miss America pageant together. There were other pageants, but this one was our favorite because the contestants not only were judged on their beauty but had to display other qualities as well. There was, of course, the bathing suit competition where the fitness of their bodies were on full display, but also the evening gown segment showing their sense of style, the talent portion highlighting their gift of song, dance or other passion, and finally the interview demonstrating their character. Miss America was required to also have inner beauty.

We sat on the sofa watching and rating them along with the panel of judges, cheering on our favorites and holding our breath as the host announced the winner. 

The best quality of my parents was they always encouraged me in all I did and wanted to become. Maybe a bit too much as they thought I could be the best, and should be the best. Number One. The Winner.  

Maybe I had seen too many pageants and I wanted to be the winner too. 

Maybe.

Now there is nothing wrong with trying hard, being diligent and aspiring to succeed. But there is something sinister about the desire to always want to be the best at everything, or even at that one thing I'm good at. It can get dark when I look at others that seem to be in competition with me.  

It's the trap of jealousy. 

When they are succeeding then I feel I am failing. Their win becomes my  loss. Someone needs to be crowned the winner here and doggonit! I want it to be me!

This issue in my heart is not news to me. I've been watching for it as I think about what I think about. I've begun to catch it first as a thought and take it to the Lord to confess and repent. I'm old enough to know an evil thought can be nursed to become a bitter heart, then harsh words and then ugly actions. 

But today, God has urged me to reflect on where this comes from in my heart. And also on His truth and unfailing love. And He said to me...

This is not a competition. I've welcomed you into a sisterhood.

This sisterhood is the better thing, resulting not in jealousy but instead companionship, mutual encouragement, shared wisdom and tenderness. When we remember we are to help each other, not compete against each other, then every win becomes a win for all of us.

There is none of that for the pageant winner. There is only the stress of performance and the isolation of being on top. Plus the next year, she gives her crown away. No one keeps her crown forever. 

Beloved, You remind me again, my sanctification is never one brief moment of revelation. It is the tedious repetition of sin, confess, repent, repeat until I meet You face to face. Remind me of Your love that I never need to earn, and I will never have to give away. Thank You for the blessing of sisterhood. May I always be empowered by Your Spirit to reject the shiny counterfeit crown and reach instead for this better thing You have for me. It will not be taken away.   

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

I am my Beloved's

It was 20 years ago today that I started this blog. I have wrote testimonies and personal struggles. I have wrote devotionals, Bible studies and even recipes. Today, to commemorate this work, I want to talk about the by-line from the Song of Songs that has on from the beginning.

My motivation to start the blog was Jesus. As I studied His word and prayed and sobbed through my life issues, I felt He was speaking to me. It felt like the relationship described in the Song of Songs in a beautiful and pure way. 

For all of my life I knew Jesus was Lord, the Son of God. I believed it, but never in a way that allowed it changed my heart and therefore my life. I wanted faith but was afraid of it. I was afraid of allowing anyone or anything to control me. I was hesitant to fully entrust myself to anyone. 

But Jesus was wooing me. He was was not in a rush. He was giving me all the time I needed. And I needed a long time!

Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases. (Song 2:7b)

The change began after I got to know Him by reading His word. I was getting to see He was good. He was trustworthy. He loved me and only wanted the best for me.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods,
So is my Beloved among the sons.
I sat down in His shade with great delight,
And His fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house,
And His banner over me was love. (Song 2:3-4)

And what did He want of me? I was not sure at first and then it became clear. He wanted all of me. 

My Beloved spoke, and said to me:
"Arise, My darling, My beautiful one, and come with Me."  (Song 2:6)

Jesus wanted to be my everything. Would I say yes?

I would like to say I did surrender to Him and never looked back, but let's be honest. Although I committed my life to Christ on June 24, 1988, my walk has been faulty. It has been a zigzag line of sin and repentance. Of vice and virtue. Of mountains and valleys and back again. 

But He never stopped talking to me. And I never stopped listening. 

The voice of my Beloved!
Behold, He comes
Leaping upon the mountains,
Skipping upon the hills. (Song 2:8)

This blog is our story, our best and most vital conversations. 20 years and 399 posts later, we are still together. He is speaking and I listen. I struggle and He encourages me. I fail and He redirects me. I trust Him and He demonstrates He is still trustworthy. I take the wrong path and He demonstrates again that He is able to work all together for the good.

It is not a perfect walk because none of us humans are perfect. God knows us, how we are frail and easily led astray and so He always provided sacrifice to return us to relationship with Him. Jesus was that perfect sacrifice. As we return to God in confession and repentance, with a contrite heart, He receives us. We are His children. He waits for us when we walk away, standing ready at the door to run and receive us. We are always welcome home.

That is why scripture uses the metaphor of marriage and children to describe our relationship with God. We are His children, His beloved bride. He is our home, our hiding place, our stronghold. He wants us to return to Him.

It is my confession and my identity. 

I am my Beloved’s,
And His desire is toward me. (Song 7:10)

I have found that:

Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it. (Song 8:7a)

Not my love for Him, but His love for me has carried me. All these years to a greater depth of love for Him and trust in Him.

Yes, this year I need to understand fear of God, as I said in my Word of the Year post. Because I began my journey at the Song of Songs, I have held at arms length the concept of fearing God. But now, as I study fear of God, I have more confidence that His love for me is strong and true because I have seen it these many years. And it has nothing to do with my merit, Praise God. It has everything to do with His character, the goodness I have fallen in love with.  

Thank You, Beloved for giving me this place to write Your words to me and my heart back to You. It is You alone who sustains me. I am not worthy but I am grateful.