Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Follow You

My pastor is doing a series on leadership. I am not going.

This summer was the first Willow Creek Leadership Summit I missed in many years. And yet I didn't miss it.

I am trying to become a better follower these days. Getting better at keeping my mouth shut and just doing what is asked of me. Trying not to second guess those above me, or thinking about ways to do it better or things they might have missed. Resting that it is not my job to drive all the time, and that ultimately Jesus knows the way.

At the Claridge House, Sam our super knows how to follow. For decades now he has seen Board presidents come and go, residents move in and out, workers hired and fired. I am following him. "What ever they say, I do that," says Sam. If it's wrong or right, good or bad, Sam does it soon, and with a smile, as much as possible. I am following Sam follow.

Recently I listed to a recorded speaking engagement of Paul Young, author of The Shack. Paul was in professional ministry for a while and he tells of a time when he was working hard for the Lord, asking for His blessing on the work he had started. "Follow me," he confessed to the audience, is what he said to God. God had replied to Paul, "you go ahead, I am going to stay here with the kids. I'll be here when you get back." Paul has since repented and asked God to allow him to get in on what God was doing.

How convicted I was when I heard that! How often, Father, have I said the same thing! What mercy You have had for me! Forgive me! I repent! I no longer want to do anything but what You want me to sign up for! I need Your power to accomplish anything worthwhile. I need Your Spirit, Your strength, You, Beloved, most of all I need You!

Most of all these days, I find myself in the dependent servant position. I eat my peanut butter and jelly in the basement "cage" with the other blue-collar types. I sit on the bus. I run when I am called. I smile at those who are angry at me. I thank God for the opportunity to show them the love of Christ, these sweet people who I would never have met if I stayed in the church.

I am learning better what in means not to lead, but to follow well. Trusting that in truth, I am following You.

I'm casting my cares aside
I'm leaving my past behind
I'm setting my heart and mind on You, Jesus
I putting my fears aside
I'm leaving my doubts behind
I'm giving my hopes and dreams to You, Jesus
I'm reaching my hands to Yours
Believing there's so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good
Is good
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won't worry about tomorrow
I'm giving You my fears and sorrows
Where You lead me I will follow
I'm trusting in what You say

Today is the day