On the Top of the Mountain

Every morning as I have my coffee, I read my Bible. It is one of the benefits of retirement to have that precious time to learn more about my beloved Savior. And as I have been studying the scriptures, I see how glorious God is, especially in Revelation...

...There before me was a throne in heaven with Someone sitting on it. And the One who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne. Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 

From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. In front of the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven Spirits of God. Also in front of the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal. In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures... Day and night they never stop saying: “‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’who was, and is, and is to come.” (Revelation 4:2b-6, 8b)

It is different to consider this on the top of the mountain. In April Christina and I traveled to Puerto Rico and to the top of El Yunque. It was a long, winding, exhausting climb around and up the mountain. But it was worth it. We took lots of photos but none of them could capture the magnificence of the landscape -- mountains of lush green and in the distance the bright blue of the ocean. 

Jesus is much more magnificent than this mountain range, from which I could touch the clouds and see the island emerge from the blue waters in the distance. He is beyond the words on the page I read from my kitchen table, because mere words cannot describe His grandeur, as a photo could not portray the majestic scene before us on the mountain top. Do I properly worship this amazing Savior who invites me into His presence as well as created the immense beauty before me? 

As I stood there, I recalled the verse of the morning, 

Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matthew 21:21-22)

In front of me was this huge mountain, and Jesus promises even this is not too big for me to ask. It is one thing to read this at my kitchen table. Quite another to remember it at the top of El Yunque.  

Jesus invites us to ask for even the impossible. All things should be presented to Him with confidence. We can trust Him with EVERYTHING. As we drove the Puerto Rico coastline, past soaring mountains and endless ocean, it seemed silly to ask such things, to cast the mountain into the sea. But that is exactly His point. He said: don't think it silly. Ask anyway and trust He can do it. Because He can. He has authority over even the mountains and the seas. 

Yes, sometimes He will tell us No. But it's not because He cannot do it. It is because in His wisdom and goodness, it is not best.

He is powerful. He is wise. He is good. We can trust Him.

We should praise Him with highest praise. We should ask Him even the most impossible things. 

 

That is what He reminded me from the on of the mountain. 

How to Raise a Godly Child

When my first daughter was exactly six months old, while attending a Christian conference, I committed my life to Christ. It revolutionized my world. 

Since I was a new mom at the time, my deepest desire was to figure out how to raise a godly child. Since I was new to the Bible, I simply looked up the word "children" and I found this gem.

It was from Moses' last address to the Israelites before they entered the Promise Land. It is the prayer most Jews still pray daily, the Shema.  

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
(Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

So that is what I did. As we went on with our day, we had Jesus spottings. I'd say, "Look, Jesus is making all the trees bloom now, isn’t it beautiful"... "Jesus is making a lovely sunset for us all to enjoy" ... "I am so thankful Jesus is healing your cold" ...  "Let's thank Jesus that He gave us good friends and a warm house tonight" etc.  

I talked about about Jesus like He is the uncle who lives far away, and we only talk to him on the phone. Because Jesus really is alive. This persuaded them to view Jesus as a real person who sees us, hears us and cares for us. True religion is not something you do on Sunday at church. It is how we act every day.

It is important to pursue God yourself. Let them watch you pray, read your Bible, being kind when others are mean, being generous, thankful, gentle, and respectful even with people with whom you do not agree. 

Of course pray for your children but also with them. Pray with them as they tell you their concerns, right then and there, bring their concerns to Jesus. Let them hear you pray out loud for them. 

We had prayer triggers. We would pray before meals, but also as we started our day driving to school in the car or when we went on a trip. We would pray at night a prayer I made up to remind them to be thankful but also to soothe them and remind them of God's care for them while they slept. 

Here is our Goodnight Prayer:

Zachary and Ella ready for bed

Thank You Jesus for today,
we got to laugh and sing and play.
Now it’s time to go to bed,
the angels sit beside my head
and watches me the long dark night
and wakes me in the morning light. Amen. 

There is much negative information and influences in our culture, so as much as possible, add wholesome and Biblical messages. Listen to worship music in the car.  Read Bible story books to them. When picking videos, add godly ones to the mix.

Because it does take a village, it is vital to find and attend a local Bible-believing church. Get involved with children's activities and youth group. It will help for your children to have friends that follow Christ. You need that too! 

As they grow, remember faith is always their choice. Jesus invites all and forces none. We as mothers are to be faithful to teach and love them. And then we pray because the work of faith is always done by the Holy Spirit.

How Jesus Taught Us to Pray

Prayer. This is something we teach our children. They watch us, we instruct them, we urge them to memorize prayers. Even Ella, age 2 at this writing, is learning to pray. She watches us and follows our example. From the simple "Thank You, Jesus, for our food" to the memorization of longer scriptures, we all pray. It is in our nature as humans to know we need help, we need to give thanks, we need to share our thoughts and concerns as we travel through life, so that even those who claim to not believe often lapse into prayer unintentionally. 

But what is prayer? Why do we pray? How should we pray?

It turns out that Jesus answers our questions...

“This, then, is how you should pray: 

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, 

Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

Give us today our daily bread. 

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." (Matthew 6:9-13)

Five sentences, concise but full of meaning.

Jesus begins with our relationship to God, inviting us to call Him Father. We are invited to intimacy with the Creator of the Universe; even His Name is Holy.  Because we can call Him Father, we know we can trust Him to love and protect us. We know we can tell Him anything, ask Him anything and we are assured of His tender heart towards us. He hears us, He knows us, He cares for us. We are invited to give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7)

God is my Father, but He is also your Father. We are taught to pray our Father, not my Father or even the Father.  We are to worship Him in community. We are to recognize He is the God of all people, everywhere and to treat them as God's beloved children. We are sisters and brothers to all we meet. When we hurt them, manipulate them, mock them, or betray them, we are harming one of God's precious children.

Not only is God a loving Father, He is also Holy. He is the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present Creator and Sustainer of the Universe. We cannot allow our intimacy with Him or our busy lives to cloud the fact that He must be revered as the awesome and only God. We pray His name would not only be Holy to us, but also we will have the courage to proclaim that His name is Holy to everyone we know.

 

It also means when we don't understand God's ways or His words, it us who are mistaken. He is righteous, not us. He will judge us, we do not dare to judge Him. His ways are always good, perfect, righteous and ultimately bigger than our ways.

 

We pray for His kingdom reign to begin on earth and His will be done in our world perfectly as it is in heaven.  Our country is a democratic republic with checks and balances because men are selfish, foolish and tend towards evil. This form of government works because it protects us from each other. In contrast, God's kingdom is flawless because God is good, wise, just, and merciful. His Law is righteous. While we wait for His reign, we strive to follow His will and encourage others to do so as well because following Him together leads to Shalom: unity, wholeness and peace. We need to pray for God's reign to begin on earth but also while we wait, we pray for His will to be done in ourselves.

 

In our modern society, it is easy to forget that we are not self sufficient. In Jesus' day, most people struggled for the basic necessities of life, like food, on a daily basis. Today in my neighborhood, I can enter a variety of stores and purchase prepared food to satisfy my hunger, or even a stray desire. I struggle to remember all of it demands the work of many people: store workers, cooks, butchers, truckers, and farmers, just to name a few of the obvious ones. But the source of all food is God. It does us well to ask and thank Him daily for providing all we need. It fosters humility, gratitude, and ultimately worship of our God who cares for us. Asking God for our needs, even though He knows exactly what we need before we ask Him (Matthew 6:8), cultivates intimacy with Him. 

Asking daily for our forgiveness reminds us that we sin daily. It reminds us of our frailty and need for a Savior. It humbles us and encourages us to forgive others daily. Because those around us sin daily too, and sometimes hurt us, manipulate us, mock us, or betray us. It should not surprise us. We must stand ready to forgive, with the help of our Father. We do not truly understand the grace and mercy God gives us if we refuse to give it to others. Unforgiveness and bitterness will burn our hearts and make us unable to love others and experience God's peace if we do not forgive others. And we can trust God will forgive us too. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:12)

We must be alert to temptation daily. God longs to give us the strength to withstand the trials of life. We ask for protection from evil in the world around us, but also the evil inside of us. Again, we should not be surprised by temptation and tests. We are to expect them and lean on God for wisdom and courage.

Jesus clarifies here what we can expect from the world and what we can expect from Him. He wants us to seek Him daily for provision and protection. He wants us to have mercy for each other. He wants us in relationship. He not only tells us to pray, but He is praying for us:

 

 “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in Me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as You and I are one—as You are in Me, Father, and I am in You. And may they be in Us so that the world will believe You sent Me." (John 17:20-21)

Currently we live in exile, where God's will is not done and He is largely not acknowledged as king. We not only live in this evil kingdom, but our hearts are also evil. But He is greater and has a plan that will ultimately succeed and will bring us home into His perfect kingdom. 

 

We look forward to it and as we wait, Jesus invites us to talk to Him daily. This is prayer.   

Pray and Obey

They have no more wine.

They were at a family wedding in the town of Cana. Running out of wine at a wedding in those days was quite the embarrassment. The wedding had many guests and went on for days. What was the family to do? The situation seemed impossible. Plus Jesus was not encouraging in His response.

Dear woman, that’s not our problem. My time has not yet come.

And yet Mary was not deterred. She turned to the wedding servers and told them:

Do whatever He tells you.  

So much wisdom is packed into the short dialog they had together. I love how Mary simply brings this need to Jesus. Mary did not tell Jesus how to resolve the problem. She had complete confidence He would take care of it in His perfect way. His seeming reluctance did not deter her. She knew all that was required was obedience.

What if I had complete confidence and peace in Jesus' power, wisdom, and love for me and those who I love like Mary did? 

What if I present my concerns to Jesus in the simple way as Mary did instead of spending energy trying to figuring it out myself? 

What if I understood obedience was required for the Kingdom to come? 

What if I did not see God's delays as His denials and simply continued to trust Him?

What if I truly believed that prayer was doing something?

Beloved, help me to pray as Mary did, with confidence in Your power and Your wisdom and Your love. Help me to obey You as the servants did, even when it seems unreasonable. Help me to trust You because You are worthy.

When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!” (John 2:1-11)

Settle it in Your Hearts

Walks on the beach can be lost
when I worry about what
I cannot control!

When you think about those whom you love and ponder their lack of faith in God, do you have conversations in your head with them? I do. I find myself doing this is in the car as I drive to work or when I take a stroll on the beach alone. I devise perfect arguments that go perfectly fine, in my mind of course. I confess I spend a lot of time doing this. And then to my great surprise, in real life it never works out the way I thought.

Today I found this verse and it sprang up from the page of my Bible. Jesus is speaking to His beloved disciples, preparing them for when He would leave the Kingdom cause to them. He told them what they should do and it pierced my heart. Then, Beloved, You spoke to me between the lines…

Therefore [in the end times, such as ours when people fail to believe in God and even rise up against God and the godly] settle it in your hearts [plan ahead, promise to yourself, fully trusting in God and not in your own skills, talents, devices] not to meditate [talk to yourself, plan, plot, scheme and devise methods] beforehand on what you will answer [how to convince the godless that God is good or even that God exists, let alone that He loves us and came to save us];

For I [God Almighty of the universe, loving and powerful creator of all things, knowing exactly what to say because I alone know the minds of My children] will give [I promise therefore you can utterly depend on it] you [yes, you, My beloved child, I will entrust you with My sacred mission] a mouth and a wisdom [My perfect wisdom, not your imperfect thoughts] which all your adversaries will not be able [they will try but they will certainly fail!] to contradict or resist or withstand.

Beloved, I repent! Help me to do this, prepare not by worry and create my own arguments, but by nurturing my own soul through Your Word, giving myself, my whole self, more to You in prayer. Let me allow You to demonstrate Your power and faithfulness by waiting for You to give me Your words. And then let me trust You with the results.

Therefore settle it in your hearts not to meditate beforehand on what you will answer; for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist. -- Luke 21:14-15 (NKJV)

You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life. -- Luke 21:16-19 NIV

Just call home

I called my mother last night. Truth be told, I have not always been great at keeping in touch. Maybe that was why she was so delighted to hear from me. “It makes me so happy that you called me,” she giggled into the phone.

Recently I have noticed, with great joy, my relationship with my adult daughters improving. They visit, spend time talking with me, even asking me what I think about matters in their lives. Maybe it’s because they are in their later 20s and maturing. Hopefully it is because I have been more respectful and less controlling. Whatever the reason, our improved relationship has given me a peace and a confidence in life. No matter how the rest of the world is going, when your family loves you, nothing else is more important.

He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

With Father’s Day approaching, I remember my own wonderful dad. He’s in heaven now but I don’t need to ask him what he would want for me and what would make him happy. He would want me to do what is right and show others kindness and mercy. He would want me to take loving care with my relationships with my mother and brother, with my husband and daughters. He would want me to continue in relationship with them, not matter what else is happening. When we hurt each other, to talk it over and mend the relationship. When life gets busy, to make time for each other.

Perhaps that is why it is so powerful when Jesus reminds us that God is like our fathers. He wants us to read His word because He has something to say to us about our lives. When we are humble and seek His advice, He rejoices. He longs for us to come to Him in prayer because He wants to be close to us. He wants to hear our voice and share our life with Him. When we pray, He rejoices.

Truth be told, I need my mother’s love. I want her encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I hang up, I feel peace.

Likewise, I need my God’s love. I want His encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I take the time to humble myself as I read His word, enter into prayer, write down the thoughts He shares with me in my journal, I feel peace.

What does the Lord require of me? What would delight my Father in heaven? Taking the time for relationship with Him. As I do that I find myself having more mercy for others and strength to do the right thing.

But it’s not just for Him. It’s also for me. Because in the end, my improved relationship with Him gives me peace.

When to pray

Ever feel dry? You long for a cool drink.
Ever feel weary? You search for a place to sit, time to rest, close your tired eyes.

Yesterday I felt both with a deep longing. I was not physically thirsty or tired. I felt spiritually dry.

Recently my prayers had been reduced to the laundry list.  I requested all good things: wellness for sick friends, spiritual awakening for family far from God, wisdom for my boss in the affairs of his business, safety for my husband and daughters. They were prayers hastily whispered in the rush of the mundane, yet necessary things of life: meals to cook, laundry to wash, letters to mail, family to call.

Finally, at day's end, I lay in my bed exhausted but wakeful. Jesus where are You? My cries for Him seemed to drift off in the dark room.

I hear Jesus better when I sit ready to write down His words

This morning, as I sat with my Bible and journal, I read these words from Jesus' brother James and they jumped off the page at me and rested on my heart.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord... My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen...Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (James 1:5-7, 19, 22)

Then I heard Him say to me...

I want you to hear Me when you already think you know what to do.
I want you to ask Me when you think you already have the answer.
I want you to pray when you have no problem but instead an opportunity and you have already decided.
I want you to stop and ask Me when you want to forge ahead.
I want you to seek Me for courage when you have decided to stay in bed.
That's when I want you to pray.
Just when you don't want to or feel your need to pray.
And then when I speak, I want you to OBEY. 

Yes, Beloved, You are so right! I still want Genie Jesus: rub the magic Bible and I get my three wishes. But You are so much bigger and better than that fantasy! You want to give me the abundant life only available to me when I partake of your wisdom daily. Help me to remember to seek You at all times and give me the courage to obey!

Grieve the Spirit

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God... (Ephesians 4:30)

What does that mean, to grieve the Spirit?

Sometimes I think God is like my mom: she dressed my brother and I up for the special party in our best clothes. She washed our faces, combed our hair, ironed our shirts and skirts, shined our shoes. When she was all done she told us to behave and not to fight or get dirty. Then she disappeared into the bathroom to get ready herself, leaving us alone.

How hard it was to be good and stay clean! How exasperated she was when she found us scraped and disheveled!

Father God is not like that. He knows the world is dirty. He brings us inside at the end of the day. He removes soiled coats and muddy shoes. He tenderly bathes us, and dresses us in clean PJs, combing knots from our hair. He gives us a hot meal and discusses our day. Yes, He is saddened by wrongs we have done, but He is not surprised. He is not unprepared. Even when He sends us out again, He does not tend to His own business and leave us alone. We are His business. He watches, He guides, He strengthens, He comforts, He confronts, He consoles, and I have even seen Him stand and block the way.

Every day we come home dirty. That is the world we live in, even in our own hearts so we cannot hide. The Spirit grieves our sin because there is a loss: a loss of relationship, opportunity, time, purity, joy, or peace, to name a few. The loss is ours, but like a father, God feels the pain of His child. Like a father, God is anguished to know that His children do not trust Him at His word and obey. All disobedience is a lack of trust in God’s wisdom and love.

Yes God is angry at some, but not us who believe. God's anger is towards scoffers who hate God and scorn His people as silly at best and deceivers at worst.

However, we are His children and He only waits for us to return home, to be cleansed, refreshed and loved. He cleanses us as we confess. He refreshes us as we talk to Him in prayer. He loves us as we worship Him as Lord.

Yes, we grieve the Holy Spirit. It is as inevitable as children playing outside become dirty. What do we do? Confess. Pray. Worship. Confession to one another breaks the power of sin. Prayer reminds us of how much God loves us. Worship reminds us of how worthy He is to trust and praise.

Let’s not stop reading in the middle of this verse that continues: …with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Another translation states: God gave you His Spirit as proof that you belong to Him and that He will keep you safe until the day He makes you free.

God seals us. He keeps us safe. He is our Father forever and will never let us go. 

Thank You Jesus for paying the entire price for every sin. We can come to You with boldness because You are always waiting for us to return. Your arms are always open and there's a warm tub waiting.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Lessons from the Storm

 

What I Learned from Super-Storm Sandy

Super-Storm Sandy was two years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Monday night and we were safe at home together, my husband Al, daughters Christina and Debbie, and our grandson Gio. We just finished dinner when Debbie noticed a flash of light. We rushed to the front of the house and saw this. It is hard to see because it was so bright, but an electrical line had come down in front of our driveway, and the sparks were flying up right next to the tree that hangs over our house. We called 911 multiple times but the fire trucks did not come. My husband, of course, was enjoying this show, not at all worried but us girls were screaming like middle-schoolers. Both the front and side doors were blocked by the sparks so we decided if the house caught on fire, we would jump out a side window. “What do we do, mom?” they asked me, as if I knew. I had no idea. The firemen were supposed to come and save us, and where were they?? I told them to put on their shoes and jackets and put their pocketbooks on their arms so just in case the house caught on fire and we had to jump out the window, we were ready. It was amazing how quickly they did what I said, especially since, as 20-somethings, both are usually reluctant to take my advice.

Turns out our house did not burn down and the electrical fire went out by itself when the storm took out all the electricity on our block. In the light of day, as we walked up our dead end street, we discovered why the firemen never arrived. A huge tree had fallen across the street, blocking it. Turned out the downed tree was a good thing: it put us on the top of the list of repairs and our electricity was only out for hours and not days as many people had to endure.

Perhaps you have your own story of that storm and the aftermath: weeks of electricity outage, lost days at work, rotting food, endless gasoline lines, family or friends camping at your house, or maybe you were camping at theirs.

But our Super Storm Sandy story did not end there. As a matter of fact it continues on today. But before I explain that part, let me fill you in on some family history. About 30 years ago, my husband bought a beach cottage with his dad as a family get-away/investment. It is in a small beach resort community called Ocean Beach Unit 3. It is tucked away on a tiny sliver of land, two blocks wide. Our cottage is a half block from the bay and a block and a half from the ocean. Located in between Point Pleasant and Mantoloking to the north and Ortley Beach and Seaside Heights to the south, it is a community of mostly two bedroom homes, about the size of a big two car garage, but location-location-location, as they say. It was wonderful place to get together with family and raise our daughters.  Every summer we would pack everything we could fit into our car, drive down right after school was out in June and we would return the day after Labor Day. My daughters made great friends and we all have delightful memories.

Because our home was so close to two large bodies of water, I always had the thought in my mind that it was only a matter of time before a storm would come and blow our home away. But years went by. We survived several devastating storms, and although we had neighbors closer to the water whose homes had flooded, our cottage stayed dry.  So we were lulled into a false sense of security.

It was the summer of 2011 when my husband opened the flood insurance bill and announced “we can’t afford to pay this.” But we no longer had a mortgage and we were not obligated to keep it so I told him, don’t pay it. A month later, Governor Christy was on TV evacuating the shore communities for Hurricane Irene. Our daughters were at the beach with friends at the time and called us, “What do we do, mom?” I had no idea. It was too late to pay the flood insurance bill now.  I told them to put everything inside the house, lift everything from the floor they could. “Take home everything you ever want to see again,” I told them, “because when this is over, the house might just be swept away. And come home right now!”          

Again we survived Irene with no damage at all. So the following year, when Governor Christy was again talking about evacuating for a storm named Sandy, we were not overly concerned. We had a busy weekend planned, including a wedding, so when someone volunteered to check on and close up our beach cottage, we welcomed the opportunity not to go down ourselves. After all, we had escaped unscathed up to this point. How bad could this storm be?

After Super Storm Sandy was over and the electricity came back on here in Bloomfield, we were glued to the TV. And as we watched the live feed of the aerial videos of the Jersey shore, we began to realize the extent of the devastation. The peninsula where our beach house was had been turned into an island. The ocean met the bay and created a new inlet at Mantoloking to the north of us, and water had also swept away most of Seaside and Ortley to the south, cutting off both ways onto the island. We hoped, we prayed that somehow our home had been spared but we could not be sure. The more photos and videos we saw, the more our hopes crumbled and we began to fear the worst.

It was 25 days later, the day after Thanksgiving, when Al, Christina, her boyfriend Mike, and I waited in line for 3 hours, crawling in traffic, to get onto the island to see our home. Everywhere we looked the damage was breath-taking. We found our home, still standing, but water had come in, to the tune of about 19 inches. There was still water in the dresser drawers, the oven, the refrigerator, the pots and pans. Everything felt wet and smelled foul. The lion’s share of our furniture, all the mattresses and any electrical items were carried out of the house to the curb. The shell of our home that remained was covered with sludge from the bay and sewer water.  The entire island had no electricity, no gas, no water and no sewer. The island was under Marshall Law and everyone had to leave before dark. During the following week after the first visit to our wet moldy house, Christina developed bronchitis. 

It was overwhelming. We had no flood insurance and FEMA assistance was not offered those owning secondary homes, which is totally understandable. Any work we had to do, we had to do ourselves. Everyone we talked to was frantic about the mold that festered in the homes left wet for weeks. Winter was coming with no running water, heat or electricity for miles. And my family, who does great when we vacation together, tends to bicker and procrastinate when doing family projects together. Which was why we never did family projects together. But we could not walk away from this project. We all loved our beach house too much.

So we began to work and pray. We prayed for provision and God gave us dear generous friends who provided funds for the many things we had to purchase. My frugal husband had unspent money stashed away in his underwear drawer that I started counting in desperation and we discovered much more than we thought. We prayed for wisdom about how to remove the mold, and made many day trips to the beach with containers of water, bottles of bleach, masks, and endless pairs of plastic gloves.

We prayed for strength and the Lord provided us with Mike who was our hero. Mike took supplies back and forth for us in his truck, found a gently used stove just the right size, ripped out walls, put up sheet rock, and most importantly, encouraged my husband to keep working when he would have procrastinated and given up.  Christina, Debbie, and Mike went down on their own to clean the muck, remove the ruined flooring, carry out a soggy cabinet, and dispose of the old refrigerator full of rotting food.

Work at the beach house was depressing and exhausting. We had to carry in water to drink and water for cleaning, a generator for electricity, a propane heater for warmth, and a pot to pee in, literally. There was no place to buy supplies or lunch on the island, and no clean place to eat. We had to eat in our cars. We could only stay during daylight, and afterwards made the long trip home, filthy dirty and totally drained.  We found we not only had to repair what the storm damaged, but ripping down our walls revealed other rotted areas of our cottage we had to rebuild.

I prayed most of all that our family would not come to blows on this project, because truth be told, my husband is stubborn and I am controlling. He is talented in fixing things but wants to put them back together with wire and duct tape. He struggles to finish projects so there is always that piece that is not quite done yet. I prayed I would be patient and gentle with him and my daughters, because in the fear and fray of all that needed to be done, I knew it was my default to be a screaming ranting shrew. In the end I did not want to have a repaired home and a torn apart family. And the Lord in His mercy helped me to do that.

Little by little our house came back together and we were so grateful to  be back in our beach cottage by the time the summer season started in 2013, but the battered houses were still everywhere. On the news we saw the ads stating “Jersey, Stronger Than the Storm”. I understand the governor was trying to encourage people to come to the shore communities because the businesses were hurting but the sentiment did not coincide with what I saw. Stronger than the storm? Really? To see all these sights in person, and remember what it was before, did something to my soul. Suddenly I saw, up close and personal, the power of nature.   That first summer after Sandy, walking in the area gave me nightmares. All of these photos, we took our selves in our community within walking distance from our cottage.   Our beach community, a haven of peace and joy for our family for decades, suddenly became a horror, totally devastated, a natural disaster.       

We think we are smart enough and strong enough for anything. And we just are not. We are fragile. What we build is fragile. Your world and everything in it could all get blown away in a moment. My world did.  Staying at the shore that first summer was sad and scary and humbling. It was like visiting a dear sick friend.

Two years have passed since the storm of the century. Al and I were at the cottage earlier this month, taking more photos and we are still working on parts in our cottage left undone, but at least we have a home we can sleep in. Some families are still fighting with insurance companies to pay and others with builders to finish constructing their new homes, like our friend house.  There are homes half done. There are shells of homes, gutted and empty. There are vacant lots.  There’s construction in the streets and enormous trucks and dumpsters everywhere.  Labor Day ended the “stay pretty for the tourists” pause and the frantic pace of rebuilding had started again. Super Storm Sandy is long over for most of you, but not for me.  Not yet.

But even if you are not rebuilding a damaged home, you have experienced storms in your life. Life brings much uncertainty but there is one thing we can count on, storms will come. It may be something as brief as a 24 hour stomach virus, although at the time, it seems like forever, right? Or it could be a long-term chronic medical or physical condition for your child, your spouse or a parent. Or a financial downturn, or career setback, or relational conflict. Storms come in all different shapes and sizes. They come at unexpected times. Maybe you are in the middle of a storm right now and you are wondering, am I stronger than this storm? And you look around at the devastation and you don’t think so.

How can you be brave in the middle of a super storm? Here’s what I have learned.

First, it’s good to be prepared. Even though the Bloomfield house did not catch fire that night and we did not have to jump out the window, it was good to have our shoes and jackets on just in case. I wish we had heeded the warnings and gone down to our beach house before the storm and took care of things better there. 

Second, it’s good to dive in and just do the hard work. For me, it was easy to get overwhelmed with all the things that had to be done and I got tired just thinking about it. But when I focused on only the next thing, and did it, it was still hard but manageable. I found that starting a task was the hardest part. And that is where fear is a good thing. Fear is a great motivator. We need to remember that being brave kicks into gear when there is something to fear. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is fear turned into resolve and action.

For me, prayer was a huge part of the process. Prayer changed things for us. God provided in so many ways: with friends to help work on the house or provide funds and furniture. I thank God the storm did not come until my daughters were grown and could help us in the rebuilding process. God gave wisdom in choices and calmed fears especially for dealing with the mold. Even the weather that first winter was a great blessing to us. Mike, who was so instrumental in helping us, works as a landscaper who also does snow removal. The winter of 2012-2013 was mild so he had free time to help us. Plus the lack of snow made being at the beach house in the winter bearable. If we had to make repairs during the horrid winter of 2013-2014, we never would have been able to complete it by May.

As we plan for life’s storms, everyone trusts something or someone, and I have seen that in my beach community. Some neighbors trusted in their own strength, some relied on flood insurance, FEMA or the government to provide. Some had relied on their well-built homes or the dunes. From what I saw, none of these came through 100%. Many large homes and all the dunes were swept away. FEMA and the government were overwhelmed. Even these big organizations did not know what to do with the storm’s far-reaching damage. Many neighbors did not get enough insurance to rebuild as they needed to, and others did not get the money they were entitled to receive. Everyone trusts something. We chose to trust God and it is my testimony that even though God did not take away the storm, He helped us through it, far beyond anything we could have asked or imagined.

I think God allows storms in our lives to get our attention. Like my adult daughters who are more apt to seek my counsel and take my advice when there is an emergency, I must confess I am like that too! When I am in over my head, I pray more, I am more apt to ask for help, and I listen better. I am also more open to change. I have been changed by this experience. I am more patient, less controlling, and less fearful because we survived this. Our family has grown closer in the storm.

I could have dwelled on “God, why did you do this to us?” We did pray at first that we be spared the flood water. But when God said no to that, we trusted Him and continued to pray through the process. God sometimes says no because He has a greater plan. He allows the storm but always stays right besides us through it, if we let Him, if we are aware of Him. It is so difficult to see this, but because we hung in there and trusted God, we found Him trustworthy.

Today, our beach house is in much better shape than it has been for years. The walls are more solid than ever. The house has a new refrigerator (that’s my favorite part!), more space, fresh paint, new furniture. This is not true for just my house. All the houses around us are built better than before. Governor Christy was half right with his slogan. Certainly Jersey wasn’t stronger THAN the storm. But we were stronger AFTER the storm.

And in spite of all the work there is still to be done, there remains so much beauty in our community.  We are grateful we had room at our house for old friends to come and visit us since their house is not completed yet. Here are the girls and their friends this summer, all grown up. We are hopeful next summer their house will be ready and we will have more time to enjoy together. 

As I thought what I learned in the storm, I found this from the book of the Bible written by James, the brother of Jesus. James knew all about experiencing the storms of life, and I feel his words sum up this experience for me.

Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them. If you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure.

And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing.

If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking.

James 1:2-5 (The Voice)

Storms come. When I talk to women, it seems to me that we are always in the middle of one storm or another. I am sure you have been thinking of your personal storm. Let me encourage you that although nothing is going to take away all the storms of life, but God wants to be there for you, to direct and comfort you in your storm!

Do you have a story from the storm? Please comment and share!

Leah: Transformed by Prayer

Have you ever been tricked? Not a small practical joke, I mean something life-changing.

In Genesis 29, the story is told of Jacob who worked seven years to win the hand of lovely Rachel in marriage. After Jacob completed his seven years, Rachel's dad tricked him and placed older, and not so lovely, sister Leah in the marriage bed with Jacob. (One wonders, how did Jacob not notice?? But that's a story for another day...) In the morning when Jacob discovers the deception and complains, dad offers him Rachel as well.

Two sisters, one husband. Who feels tricked the most? Leah.

When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, He enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

Leah, through no fault of her own, found herself in a heart-breaking situation. Instead of having her own husband who loved her, as God intends for her and all His daughters, Leah's father forced her into a situation where she was in a marriage to a man who had multiple wives, and she was the one who was unloved.

But God sees Leah. God shows her special favor and allows her to have children, and not her sister Rachel, the much-loved wife. God says no to Leah's most desired prayer, to have Jacob love her, but God makes sure she feels valued and loved by Him. After many years, much misery and four children, Leah is grateful in a new way.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah (meaning "Praise"). 

Cell: My current method of prayer
Photo by myworldinclicks.com 

During the past few weeks a friend from church has been in a heart-breaking situation of her own. Her cancer was found early so her prognosis was good, but the treatment put her in the hospital twice. As we text-ed back and forth and fervently prayed for her recovery, we both discovered a profound comfort in seeking God. God does not answer always as we wanted, but the process of coming before Him with such an urgent need changes you. It changed me. My friend still suffered but she knew, without a doubt, that she was loved by God.

Sometimes God provides a miraculous end to a horrid situation. Sometimes God sits beside us while we go through it, if we seek Him. Sometimes, as He did with Leah, God shows us His special favor and mercy without changing the situation.

Beloved Jesus, You see our misery and You weep with us. Help us to turn to you for comfort. Allow Your presence to be felt. Allow my interaction with You to change my heart even if You do not change the situations that pain us. Thank You that You never leave us alone. You are as close as our next breath. We are so grateful, we praise You!

Read the story of Leah and Rachel in Genesis 29.

Hannah: Great Faith Grows from Difficult Situations

He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. 

It is hard to imagine a life more difficult than to be married to a man who had two wives. Except if one of the wives was childless, and that wife was you. In two sentences, the author of the book of 1 Samuel created a picture of a heart-breaking situation.  But no, it gets worse.

Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

So let's picture this: a life in a household full of children, none of them are yours, another woman who provokes you, and a husband who does not get it. Year after year after year. So it's no wonder that during holiday time, when the rest of the family is joyful and feasting, Hannah is inconsolable. Can you blame her?

Do you remember a Christmas, when everyone around you seemed jolly and in the holiday spirit, but your life was falling apart and it was all you could do to drag yourself out of bed? This is where we find Hannah.

Hannah in her anguish and desperation prays the scary prayer: Lord All-Powerful, you can see how sad I am. Remember me. Don’t forget me. If you will give me a son, I will give him to you. He will be yours his whole life. So God "remembers" her and gives her a son. Hannah demonstrates her great faith and integrity by fulfilling her vow, and returns her son to the priest to raise and serve the Lord in the temple.

Did you ever get so desperate that you prayed the scary prayer? The one where you are finally willing to risk all to the get the one thing from God you so urgently need?  From our point of view, it looks like God finally "remembers" us.  But God never forgot us. It is not like He is in heaven and sudden smacks His forehead and declares, "oh dear, I forget about Barbara!" No, His plans for us are perfect, planned ahead of time, since He created the world! As for Hannah and her son Samuel, God had huge plans. Samuel became a great judge and prophet in Israel, filled with the Holy Spirit.  He went on to anoint the first two kings of Israel: Saul and David. God always planned for Hannah to have a son, but He was working on Hannah's heart to be the woman she needed to be first.

As our small group read about Hannah's life together, we could not picture ourselves having enough faith to give our first child away to be raised by someone else, even if we had promised. But let's not be discouraged by our lack of faith. Instead, let's be amazed by what the Holy Spirit of God can do in a woman's life. Over years, and through circumstances, God strengthened Hannah's faith and encouraged her heart to be able to trust God with her precious son. That same Holy Spirit is working in our hearts as well, making us the women He always intended us to be. God transforms us through our prayers but also through the difficult circumstances we face day by day.

Was Hannah bitter over giving her son back to the Lord as she promised? Not at all. The Bible records her song of praise: Then Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance." I believe that even if Hannah's story ended here, Hannah would have had peace. But God has much better plans than that. And the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Years later, Mary of Nazareth, as she rejoices in the Child in her womb, uses Hannah's words in her song of praise ( see Luke 1:46-55). Hannah's story of her faith and God's faithfulness, was used to encourage centuries of women.

Life is difficult, but God wastes none of our pain! He is working in our lives and hearts to make us women of great faith. God uses our lives to be encouragement to others. He never forgets us, but is working all things together for our good and His purposes.

Father, thank You reminding us of that, with Hannah's life!

Read Hannah's story in 1 Samuel 1 and 2. 

Read about the time I prayed the scary prayer and how it turned out for me: click here. 

Keep watch and pray

Matthew 26:36-56


Sit here while I go over there and pray...My heart is full of sorrow and overwhelmed with grief, to the point of death. Stay here and watch, stay awake; be alert with Me.

When I am feeling sad and lonely, I often am overwhelmed with a sense of worthlessness. Here is Jesus, no one understanding Him, no one able to comfort Him, not one of His friends able to even to stay awake with Him. He is not worthless. He is priceless. Yet still susceptible to grief. 

Jesus fell with His face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, do not give Me this cup of suffering. But do what You want -- Your will, not what I want -- My will.”

He did not want this. The suffering was very real; agony to even God in flesh. And yet, He was willing to submit His will to God. He was crushed not only by His surrender to God's will, but also by the inability of His disciples to stand by Him. 

You men could not stay awake and watch with Me for one hour? Stay awake, keep watch, and pray for strength against temptation or not to fail the test. The spirit wants to do what is right -- it is willing, but the body or human nature, is weak.

They sleep. After the big meal and glasses of wine, the emotional turmoil of Jesus' words to them, it is all too much and they cannot keep their eyes open. After the arrest, they all run away. 

They are weak. 

Sitting around the table, in the light and laughter of shared meals, miracles remembered, basking in the refreshing teaching of their Master, they are brave men. Now in the darkness, they are scared children.

How much I am like them, Father. When I sit at my table reading my Bible, when I am at church worshipping, or at my study group surrounded by like-minded women, I am wise and strong. At 3 am alone in my room, I am afraid just as they were.  

Thank You for forgiveness, for grace. For them. For me.

Keep watch and pray. No matter what they did, You my Beloved, still had work to do. It was not yet Your time to sit and rest. Angels indeed strengthened You, but You first kept watch and prayed.

I read this and hear Your answer to me. How do I beat the sins that hound me? How do I manage the fear that haunts me? How do I find peace with the future uncertain? Here it is, Beloved.

Keep watch and pray.

And in the quiet place, at Your feet, even in the dark and lonely places, You come, my Beloved, with Your legions of angels and strengthen me. Thank You.

Surely you know I could ask My Father, and He would give Me more than twelve legions of angels. But it must happen this way to bring about what the Scriptures say... Then all of Jesus’ disciple left and deserted Him and ran away.