Thursday, January 23, 2014

Two Words for 2014

Woe to the crown of pride, to the drunkards of Ephraim,
Whose glorious beauty is a fading flower
Which is at the head of the verdant valleys [valley of fatness],
To those who are overcome with wine!  
 ---Isaiah 28:1

It was new years morning and I opened my Bible where the book mark lay and read these words and gasped.  At first this sounded like an awful way to start the year, but all of God's Word is truth and life, yes?  As I looked closer I saw it.  

It is me and those things that in 2014 I need to reign in, gather control:


Father, You are warning them and this warning is also for me.  Because WOE is not what You want for me in this year, in this life or in eternity.  You love me and want love, joy, and peace for me, but it does not happen without kindness, goodness, patience, and self control.  It just doesn't.  

I don't know, Beloved, how long before You take me home but I want to do as much damage for the Kingdom as possible before I fall asleep. I must redeem the time.

But I cannot witness without humility.  I don't know where other's hearts are so I must be respectful, gentle and patient.  I must be prayerful and wait on You and Your perfect timing.  

And by overindulging in food and drink, I set a bad example for my children and render myself useless for the Kingdom.

Humility and self control is what is needed and what I lack. Not a whole list of resolutions, but these two words.  These two vital qualities. 

Father, even I cannot do this small thing without a portion of Your grace.  Please give me a double portion so I might be healed and therefore able and ready to proclaim Your truth.  

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Immersed In the Evening-Remembered Drama

Written today during an creative exercise at NJCWG 
but it captures the heart of my feelings about my dear grandson and his mom,
starting their own home.

It was the first anniversary of them leaving our home.  I stared out the window into the cool night.  I could almost hear the sound, like a space ship taking off into the crystal twilight sky. Remembered our dramas together, lipping full with activity -- hugs and kisses, games and laughter, how I missed them! Our years together was a complex bouquet, a bewitching hurricane that only an adventurous and enchanting seven-year-old boy could create.        

Gio at Wendy's After Liquid Kids

Hastening to the door, I went out into the evening, expectant.  And yet, as I opened the door, it was quiet as death.  Like my sorrow, it was boundless.  Like my heart, empty.

Father, thank You for giving me him for this first season of his life.  You give and take away. I trust You.  Make him into the man of God you always intended him to be.  As I have to let go of him, I hold firmly to You.  


So be careful how you live; be mindful of your steps. Don’t run around like idiots as the rest of the world does. Instead, walk as the wise! Make the most of every living and breathing moment because these are evil times. So understand and be confident in God’s will, and don’t live thoughtlessly. ~ Ephesians 5:15-17