Resolving Conflict

This study is based on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero and the November 14, 2021 Liquid Church sermon "Grow into an Emotionally Healthy Adult" by Pastor Tim Lucas

 

Opening Discussion:

Who are you experiencing conflict with right now, big or small? Do you have a friend, family member or co-workers and there is an issue between you that is unresolved? What do you usually do in these types of situations? And how is that working for you?

In his sermon, Pastor Tim said "Mature adults resolve conflicts rather than dissolve relationships." What do you think of that quote?

 

What does the Bible say about resolving conflict?

Read Matthew 5:11-16

What did Jesus say about conflict? Does this tell us that as followers of Jesus we should expect to be free of conflict?  

Read Matthew 5:21-24

What did Jesus say about who should initiate conflict resolution when we are angry? Who should make the first move? 

Why do you think He said this? 

What does this say about ignoring the conflict? Talking to other friends about the conflict? About ignoring the person causing the conflict? 

Read 1 John 4:11-13 and 19-21 

What did John say about loving others?

Why is loving each other important to God?

When we are angry with someone and/or feel they are wrong, how do we LOVE them and not FIX them?

Read Matthew 7:1-6

Jesus tells us that before we confront someone, we should examine our heart: motives, fears, desires, bad habits, blind spots, etc. He warns us to first "get the plank out of our own eye." How do we examine our heart?

Why is this an important first step before we initiate conflict resolution?

Pastor Tim talked about clarifying our expectations and making sure they are  reasonable. Consider your expectations about the person you are in conflict with. What are you expecting from them? Have you been clear about your expectations with them? Did they agree with your expectations?  

In Matthew 7:6 Jesus seemed to suggest boundaries are also important. How can we tell when we are "casting pearls before swine?"

Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. How do we do this? What attitudes must we maintain in ourselves in order to be loving while we express our intense feelings, such as disappointment or anger, to another person?

In his sermon, Pastor Tim recommended saying to the other person: "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to your perspective?" What do you think of that idea? Why is listening to the other person an important part of the process? How good are you at listening to others without being defensive?

Read Romans 12:18

Paul seems to recommend that we must initiate the resolution, be humble, kind and loving, but leave the results to God. How can we continue to love/forgive people who we disagree with? How can we continue to love/forgive people who repeatedly hurt us?

Read Romans 16:17-20

Paul ends this section of instructions to the Romans with an important reminder about evil. How does this relate to the rest of what we have discovered?

Conclusion

Conflict resolution requires humility, courage and discernment and each individual conflict is unique. There is no list of firm rules, but there is the power of the Holy Spirit who is our companion and helper in all things.