broken down walls

He said, the Pastor had a message for you today.

The text was Judges 4, the story of Deborah. Impossible situation, but God had a plan. The people of God stepped out in faith and obedience and the Lord won the victory.

And the question then was, who is the enemy who is too big for you but not too big for God? Is God asking you to step out in obedience? Sometimes we stand and pray when God will move if only we would step out.

Where do I need to step out?

You know, I aways take these things too seriously. So I stood there and thought and thought and cried.

But I have no Deborah, telling me the specific word of the Lord in my life. My enemy is not in chariots. This message is not for me. I cannot even tell who the enemy is!!

I am standing naked in the chill. My walls are broken down. I hang my head afraid to lift it and look. Where is my enemy coming from? Who is my friend? Is the enemy inside of me? Like Job, I want to take the shards of the pot and scrape myself of my sin, anything to get the stain and stench off of me. But is it me?

Is it you?

No one is wearing signs and I cannot tell as I stand and shiver in my house of broken down walls. And even if I rebuild the walls, where are the boundaries? Who do I leave in? Who do I put out? How do I know?

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

Beloved, tell me, let me lean back into You. Tell me who, show me the way, like the calm women's voice.

Left turn followed by a right turn.

I have gotten into a black hole again and do not even know the way out. Like I am underwater so far and so black I cannot tell up from down.

Recalculating route.

Tell me today, where to turn. Confirm Your voice with me. I am afraid and lost and cold.

Get me out of here, take me home.