Tamar: Desperate Measures

Have you ever run ahead of God and tried to fix things yourself?

I must confess, this is my usual modus operandi. I am always trying to fix things myself. It only occurs to me later that I should have waited, that I should have prayed first. It is only later that I realize that God may not have been in this. Usually I am sure I did the wrong thing when in the end things end up all wrong.

What Tamar did to fix things herself was absolutely scandalous!

Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law has gone to Timnah to shear his sheep.” She took off her widow’s clothes, put on a veil to disguise herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim which is on the road to Timnah. She realized by now that even though Shelah was grown up, she wasn’t going to be married to him.

Judah saw her and assumed she was a prostitute since she had veiled her face. He left the road and went over to her. He said, “Let me sleep with you.” He had no idea that she was his daughter-in-law. 

My first thought was -- this was disgusting and humiliating! But Judah had left her with no good choices. She could take her case to the city gates and shame Judah into giving Tamar his last remaining son in marriage. Or she could have remained childless and unmarried in her fathers house. Her only chance of honor was to raise sons. Her duty was to produce an heir for Judah's family. Her only chance of survival was tied to her ability to bear children. So Tamar took matters into her own hands. She was not a harlot, but a woman determined to fulfill her destiny. The way she picked may not have been right in several respects. But is that the ultimate measurement of good?

In the end, God created a fruitful result from her choice.  Did she pray first and receive God's direction and blessing? We will never know. But God used this for good. In the end, Tamar produced twin sons. God used this to strengthen Judah's character. Ultimately, God uses Tamar and Judah to produce the lineage of Christ. Ultimately we find God using this situation for His glory.

Tamar faced an impossible situation, where there was no way out. But God took her out. It was amazing  Judah did not recognize her. Amazing that she conceived in a single act. Amazing that Judah did not have her burned anyway when she confronted him with his seal, cord and staff. Amazing that he took her into his home instead and raised the sons as his own. Amazing? Or was it God's miracle? A miracle from the hand of a merciful God who delights in restoring the broken. God transforms our biggest sins into glory.

No matter who has victimized us, no matter how far we have fallen, God alone can restore.

Father, help me remember, help me trust You. We don't know if Tamar prayed and asked You.  But I can pray and ask You before I move forward with my plans. Remind me, Beloved and I will give You all the glory. 

Read all of Tamar's story in Genesis 38, and also see Matthew 1:1-16

Lydia: A Strong Woman

What does God think of strong women?

Sometimes I wonder. Especially reading this verse from 1 Peter 3:3-5: Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands...

A gentle and quiet spirit--that's what God says is beautiful. If so, I am in trouble. I have always been more of the rowdy and rough type, the "let's get going and get it done" type. More of a Martha than a Mary. But didn't God make me that way? Is this so bad?

Yesterday in life group we were introduced to a woman named Lydia, who Paul meets in Philippi. Lydia is a successful business woman, forceful and persuasive. She also had a heart for God.

On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there. One of those listening was a woman from the city of Thyatira named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth. She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. “If you consider me a believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my house.” And she persuaded us. (Acts 16:13-15)

God gives us all gifts and He intends for us to use them. God gives us gifts to us for His good and His glory. This is exactly what Lydia did. She brought used her strength to bring her household to faith.

God loves strong women. I am so glad. In the end I also remember that it takes inner strength to submit, to be humble and teachable. And it takes courage to have faith.

Thank you, Jesus for making me the strong woman I am.  May I always use my strength for Your good and Your glory!

Hannah: Great Faith Grows from Difficult Situations

He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. 

It is hard to imagine a life more difficult than to be married to a man who had two wives. Except if one of the wives was childless, and that wife was you. In two sentences, the author of the book of 1 Samuel created a picture of a heart-breaking situation.  But no, it gets worse.

Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

So let's picture this: a life in a household full of children, none of them are yours, another woman who provokes you, and a husband who does not get it. Year after year after year. So it's no wonder that during holiday time, when the rest of the family is joyful and feasting, Hannah is inconsolable. Can you blame her?

Do you remember a Christmas, when everyone around you seemed jolly and in the holiday spirit, but your life was falling apart and it was all you could do to drag yourself out of bed? This is where we find Hannah.

Hannah in her anguish and desperation prays the scary prayer: Lord All-Powerful, you can see how sad I am. Remember me. Don’t forget me. If you will give me a son, I will give him to you. He will be yours his whole life. So God "remembers" her and gives her a son. Hannah demonstrates her great faith and integrity by fulfilling her vow, and returns her son to the priest to raise and serve the Lord in the temple.

Did you ever get so desperate that you prayed the scary prayer? The one where you are finally willing to risk all to the get the one thing from God you so urgently need?  From our point of view, it looks like God finally "remembers" us.  But God never forgot us. It is not like He is in heaven and sudden smacks His forehead and declares, "oh dear, I forget about Barbara!" No, His plans for us are perfect, planned ahead of time, since He created the world! As for Hannah and her son Samuel, God had huge plans. Samuel became a great judge and prophet in Israel, filled with the Holy Spirit.  He went on to anoint the first two kings of Israel: Saul and David. God always planned for Hannah to have a son, but He was working on Hannah's heart to be the woman she needed to be first.

As our small group read about Hannah's life together, we could not picture ourselves having enough faith to give our first child away to be raised by someone else, even if we had promised. But let's not be discouraged by our lack of faith. Instead, let's be amazed by what the Holy Spirit of God can do in a woman's life. Over years, and through circumstances, God strengthened Hannah's faith and encouraged her heart to be able to trust God with her precious son. That same Holy Spirit is working in our hearts as well, making us the women He always intended us to be. God transforms us through our prayers but also through the difficult circumstances we face day by day.

Was Hannah bitter over giving her son back to the Lord as she promised? Not at all. The Bible records her song of praise: Then Hannah prayed and said: “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high. My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance." I believe that even if Hannah's story ended here, Hannah would have had peace. But God has much better plans than that. And the Lord was gracious to Hannah; she gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Years later, Mary of Nazareth, as she rejoices in the Child in her womb, uses Hannah's words in her song of praise ( see Luke 1:46-55). Hannah's story of her faith and God's faithfulness, was used to encourage centuries of women.

Life is difficult, but God wastes none of our pain! He is working in our lives and hearts to make us women of great faith. God uses our lives to be encouragement to others. He never forgets us, but is working all things together for our good and His purposes.

Father, thank You reminding us of that, with Hannah's life!

Read Hannah's story in 1 Samuel 1 and 2. 

Read about the time I prayed the scary prayer and how it turned out for me: click here. 

Deborah: The wisdom to know and the courage to do it

Where in your life do you long for certainty and courage?


Now Deborah, a prophet, ... was leading Israel at that time.  She held court under the Palm of Deborah... and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided. (Judges 4:4-5)

Deborah, a prophet and a Judge of Israel, possessed both certainty and courage. When she spoke, people listened, men went out to war, enemies were defeated. During a time when Israel's people were compromising in their devotion to God, when the next generation abandoned their faith, Deborah demonstrates what it means to hear from God and step forward in confidence.

A man named Sisera was the commander of King Jabin’s army... Sisera had 900 iron chariots, and he was very cruel to the Israelites for 20 years. So they cried to the Lord for help.

Because the people of Israel kept returning to their evil ways, God allowed the surrounding nations to cruelly oppress them, as King Jabin of Canaan did. Often we see the God of the Old Testament as harsh and unmerciful, but I think punishing the Israelites was ultimately a kindness. If God had not punished them, they would have never returned to the Lord for help. Evil ways lead to bad ends. Instead the Israelites returned to their faith.  

Deborah said to Barak, “The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: ‘Go and gather 10,000 men from the tribes... Lead them to Mount Tabor. I will make Sisera, the commander of King Jabin’s army, come to you. I will make Sisera, his chariots, and his army come to the Kishon River. I will help you defeat Sisera there.’”

Deborah did not give Barak, the commander of Israel's army, just any advice, or even advice she thought was wise. Actually, it was crazy advice! Iron chariots -- and the enemy had 900! -- were like missile tanks of today. They gave the enemy a huge military advantage. Even Barak did not have the confidence to go into battle against them.  He insisted Deborah go with them. But Deborah was certain God Himself had spoken and her trust in God encouraged Barak and his army to obey. Deborah understood the risks: 10,000 lives of our countrymen were at stake. And yet, because she believed God, there was no doubt -- obedience was the safest path.

How do we hear from God like that? How do we have that kind of courage?

I think Deborah had a great deal of practice. She was tuned into God's voice and had seen that when she obeyed His word, God would show up in miraculous and powerful ways. She saw how when she followed God's word, He came through for her and her people as He said He would. Best of all the entire nation was influenced by her faith.

When we take the first step of obedience, and we see God show up for us, we can take the next step with confidence. It all starts with that first step. We must also remember that our faith, demonstrated in our actions, encourages others in their faith as well.

Father, make me like Deborah.  Help have the wisdom to know Your truth and then the courage to do it! Help me have the faith to take the next step.

Then Deborah said to Barak, “Get ready! This is the day the Lord will give you victory over Sisera, for the Lord is marching ahead of you.” So Barak led his 10,000 warriors down the slopes of Mount Tabor into battle. When Barak attacked, the Lord threw Sisera and all his chariots and warriors into a panic... Then Barak chased the chariots and the enemy army... killing all of Sisera’s warriors. Not a single one was left alive. 

Read the rest of Deborah's story in Judges 4 and 5.

You have become tired of Me

“Yet you have not called on Me, O Jacob! You have become tired of Me, O Israel! … You have not honored Me with your gifts on the altar.” (Isaiah 43:22)

myworldinclicks.com

Busy, I find myself so busy even in the summer months. A time of rest? No, there are still so many things to do. From the morning when I put my feet out of bed, until I close my eyes again, I run and run and run. Work and laundry and dinner and phone calls and shopping and exercise and dirty dishes…

As I read this wonderful letter to us from Isaiah and I hear my beloved Jesus say to me…

You busy yourself with fruitless nothings that last a moment then return to stubble yet you forget Me. You make Me last, an afterthought, the spare time at the end of the day when you are exhausted, if any time at all.

Give Me the first fruits and see how much will be returned to you, not just in money but in time and your gifts.

You get up early to color your hair but it will turn white again; see even now, it has started. You get up early to cook dinner and by sundown it will be gone.  First you make yourself coffee and clean up the dishes, and in hours, they will be dirty again and back in the sink for you. You sit down to write but first play solitaire and check your email. These are not bad things but less important than your devotion to Me. You say you want to use My gift, but to do that, you must sit with Me.

There is no other way. Sit with Me, open the Book and write what I give you. That is the gift, use it.  And trust Me.

This is the dance of grace. It is all God and yet, we must show up. We must exercise the discipline to sit down, stop what we are doing and attend to the things of God: study of His Word, prayer, worship, service, using our gifts. There, as we are obedient in the things only we can do, He meets us there and gives us His Spirit in power. It is not that He wants to control us. It is that He wants the best for us. Ultimately, He wants us.   

“Do not be afraid. For I have bought you and made you free. I have called you by name. You are Mine!” (Isaiah 43:1) 

Whatever they wanted

Mark 14:65, 14:71, 15:19

Then some began to spit at Him; they blindfolded Him, struck Him with their fists, and said, “Prophesy!” And the guards took Him and beat Him...He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this Man you’re talking about...Again and again they struck Him on the head with a staff and spit on Him...


Q: What do the 71 of the wisest and most respected Jewish priests and scribes in the nation, the Roman guard of governor Pontius Pilate, and one of Jesus' dearest friends have in common?

A: They did whatever they wanted to Jesus.

Reading this story again this week, I am amazed by the fact that Jesus, God's perfect and powerful Son, allowed these people to treat Him however they wanted.  Not only did the Roman guard torture Jesus, but the leaders of His nation, the Jews, did not believe Him and beat Him.  Worse, His loyal followers abandoned Him.  His dear friend Peter cursed and denied knowing Him.

More amazing is Jesus allowed it.  Jesus could have called upon His legions of angels and protected Himself, showed Himself as the Christ in an unmistakable, miraculous demonstration of power, or smote those who hurt and mocked Him with fire from heaven. But He did not. 

Jesus allows us to do the same thing.  He allows us all to treat Him as we want. We choose everyday to devote ourselves to Jesus, or ignore Him. To trust His wisdom and love for us and obey Him, or go our own way. To be kind to His beloved children, or to mistreat them. I think Jesus does this because He does not want to force Himself on us, He wants us to freely love Him in return and trust Him. 

So I ask myself the questions: Do I judge His actions in the world? Do I give Him the sacrifice of my praise? Do I talk to Him often in prayer? Do I trust Him with my everyday life? Do I share Him with my friends? Do I serve His beloved children in this world? 

Do you? In what areas of your life can you treat Him better?

Father, it is so easy to get caught up in the world as Peter did, even though I believe in You and love You. Life happens around me and I ignore You or deny You. Forgive me! Remind me of Your presence, Your love, Your wisdom and power. As I strive to read Your Word, Your love letter to me, and gather with Your people, You remind me. Thank You for always drawing me back home to You even when the world has soiled me. You are so good. Your mercies are new every morning.

Remind us that some day You will come as the powerful Judge and conquering King. When You do, I want to be counted as Yours.

Again the high priest asked Him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?”

“I am,” said Jesus. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

My Bling Cross

Mark 8:31-38

This past Christmas I looked for that “little something extra” for my daughter’s Christmas stockings. I wanted to do something special, not the usual fare of chocolate and socks and nail polish. And I found these wonderful bead bracelets with a bit of bling on them. Not only were they on sale, but as a bonus I found one for myself, with a sideways cross on it.

Today, I wore my bling cross bracelet, the “I am a Christian” statement accessory. But as I looked at it, I realized how far away it was from the intent of my beloved Jesus. Nestled in the center of the Gospel of Mark, Jesus makes His first reveal about the cross, and His death and resurrection:

[Jesus] then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that He must be killed and after three days rise again.

Peter was so horrified that he impulsively took Jesus aside and rebuked Him for having said it. Jesus turns it into a teachable moment for His entire crowd of followers:

Then [Jesus] called the crowd to Him along with His disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.”

I trivialize the cross to wear it and think it makes a statement. The cross Jesus beacons us to carry is not studded with sparkles. It is not meant to be carried on our wrists as a fashion accessory. His cross is to be carried on our backs. Its presence tests us. Its weight transforms us. Our journey with it prepares and beautifies us.

I carry my cross not with what I wear but with what I do: with a kind word to the irritating client, with patience to the older woman who needs a listening ear, and with loving words and home-cooked supper for my family. I carry my cross when I go out of my way to organize a family dinner out for my mom, hold my mother-in-law’s arm when she walks down the stairs, play cards with my grandson. In the end, I find it is true that His yoke is easy and His burden light. Because the cross I carry brings joy back to me when I embrace it.

Ok, I am not going to toss this bracelet. I like it a lot. But as I look at it, Beloved, remind me that Your cross cost You dearly and freed me completely. Remind me that my cross sometimes is painful but in the end my crown will be more stunning that any bling I can buy on earth, and I will cast it at Your feet to show my gratitude and love for You!

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for Me and for the gospel will save it.”  

What Must I Do?

Mark 10:1-31

As Jesus started on His way, a man ran up to Him and fell on his knees before Him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

It’s so subtle. We ask the question, we want the rule. Then we look at the rule for the loop hole. What is it? Do we want the list of commandments  follow? Not really. We want to justify ourselves. Likewise, this man wanted Jesus to tell him that he was good enough, that he was all right just as he was. We can see this, because he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

But Jesus could not do that because Jesus is truth. And Jesus loved him. So Jesus told him how much he needed to do in order to be righteous and perfect on his own merit. 

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” He said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.”

With one sentence, Jesus removed any possibility of a loophole and he grasps he couldn't do it, not on his own. I cannot do it either. On my own, even trying hard, I end up like the man who came to Jesus: At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Or if we are “religious” we come at Jesus another way. We ask the question: are your rules as good as our rules? Are you as holy as we are? The Pharisees were like this, but hey, some days I am too!

Some Pharisees came and tested Him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”  

The Pharisees wanted to hear Jesus’ rule not because they wanted His wisdom, but because they wanted to evaluate Him. Jesus knew He was being tested and His followers were listening. He loved them all, so He gave them the trut, God’s beautiful intention for marriage: a sacred, exclusive, intimate, life-long union of one man and one woman.  

But Jesus’ answer is so narrowly defined, so hard to accept that we have been looking at it and debating ever since. We know the story of our divorced friends. We know our own story. Do I stay with him even though he prefers alcohol to me? Do I stay with her even though she berates me day after day? He had an affair and left me for another woman; am I never to marry again? Life brings hard questions, with real people, who are deeply hurt.

I would venture to say, the rules are not Jesus’ point. Jesus paints a picture for us of God’s original purpose for marriage at creation. But Jesus knows we live in a broken world. The point is wedged in the middle of these two questions.

Come to Grandpa and get love and ice cream!

“Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And He took the children in his arms, placed His hands on them and blessed them.

The children came to Jesus not for rules, not looking for loop holes, not to evaluate Him, or even to evaluate themselves. They came to Jesus. And He freely gave them His love and blessing. Children know what we have forgotten. We are weak. We need love. We are not self-righteous or self-sufficient. We are not good. So Jesus reminds us. “No one is good—except God alone.”

Jesus knows we cannot keep the rules. The world is broken and hurting people hurt each other. In this world, sullied by sin, we will never be good. Not like God. We can be better than others on some days perhaps, but in our heart, we know we are not good enough.That’s why we need a Savior! Jesus didn’t come to give us more rules, harder rules, different rules. He came to break the power of sin and death. He came to get us and bring us back to Himself. 

The more faith we have, like a child, the more we can trust Jesus, the more we will be able to run to Him for comfort when we have been hurt and for forgiveness when we sin. That’s all He wants, for us to come to Him.  He will not hinder us because the Kingdom of God belongs to us, His children.

Thank You, Jesus, for clearly showing us that we ask the wrong questions. It is not about what we need to do.  It is about what You have already done: opened the doors of Heaven to us, by Your mercy, power, and sacrifice. It is never about what we do. It is what You have already completed. It is finished and we are welcomed home. What must I do? Run to Jesus. That’s all.

Epilogue - Feed My Sheep

It just didn't seem done, although it is after Easter. I needed to return to the gospels and try to sum it up. So I found myself at the last gospel, the last chapter, John 21...

“I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

And I can hear Jesus telling me:

I am going to show up in the middle of your work whether you call on Me or not. I will call to you. You’re Mine now and you cannot run away from Me. You cannot bury yourself in your work, or your duties, or trivial pursuits. You can never return to where you were before.

No matter where you hide, I will find you.

Remember, what you are trying to do on your own will get you nowhere. You come back empty. Follow Me and you will be fuller than you ever can imagine.

Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?”

[Simon Peter] answered, “Yes, Lord, You know that I love You.”

Jesus said, “Take care of My sheep.”

And I hear Jesus saying to me:

I am interested in your response to Me.  Do you love Me? Are you willing for the mission I will send you on? The mission is these others, My sheep. I am not calling you to an organization, or a building. I am not calling you to something that is about wealth, success, or power in any form, although you can be confident I will provide for your needs.

I am calling you to My sheep.

I fed you, Jesus said. If you love Me, then feed My sheep.

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow Me.”

Jesus tells me: No two missions will look the same so do not bother looking to your left or your right. I don’t need to be a Peter, or a Pastor, or a church-paid-staffer, or a ministry leader, or an author, or a speaker. I can just be me loving Him, following Him, feeding the sheep He has placed around me: serving them, teaching them, loving them, having compassion on them.

And I can do that, when I rely on Him and Holy Spirit power.

If we are willing to do that, as we practice—not perfectly but, not giving up either—we are bringing in Jesus’ kingdom, day by day.

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

Everlasting

Luke 24:13-35

Most stories end with the death of the hero. Sometimes, there are protégées who carry on for them. In Jesus' case, His death was only the beginning of the story.

But for those who had been following Him, it did not seem that way at first. Jesus met two of them on the road, forlorn and confused at the events that just happened: the death of Jesus and the report of the empty tomb.

“You are foolish and slow to realize what is true. You should believe everything the prophets said. The prophets said the Messiah must suffer these things before He begins His time of glory.” Then He began to explain everything that had been written about Himself in the Scriptures. He started with the books of Moses and then He talked about what the prophets had said about Him. 

God's ways are not our ways, and so it is easy to be slow to realize what is true. But Jesus came to show us truth, to explain everything, to bring us into His everlasting story.

Let our reaction to what we do know about Jesus be like that of these two men from the road:

But they wanted Him to stay. They begged Him, “Stay with us...” So He went in to stay with them.

Jesus can't resist such an invitation, so of course, He stayed.  He is longing to hear such an invitation from us. He is longing to explain everything to us. All we have to do is open the scriptures and ask Him. Ask and we receive. It's a promise.

“When He talked to us on the road, it felt like a fire burning in us. How exciting it was when He explained to us the true meaning of the Scriptures!”

It will be exciting when He explains it to us too. It's the promise of the everlasting kingdom.

Our turn now

Today is the day of silence. There are no red letters for this Saturday.  Only the deathly silence of a tomb mingled with tears falling.  We know the end of the story. Those who lived with Him did not. Not yet.

In the silence it is our turn to speak. What can we say of these things we have seen during this Lenten journey? What is our response to the great love Jesus has shown, not only during His sorrow and agony, but this whole time as we listened to His words written in red?

We have seen on the journey that God so loved not only the world but you. And me. Jesus did not come to punish us for the mistakes we have made. He came to invite us to follow Him. Jesus was not pleased by good works, although He did many. He was pleased by great faith. Jesus did not come to rally a band of obedient followers and servants. He came to serve us, and to show us how to serve each other.  Jesus did not come to tell us to obey Him as much as He came to show us He intended to obey His Father,even to death.   

Because Jesus did not only love the world but also you. And me.

How can we refuse so great a love?  

Jesus’ invitation is open to me and you. He says: Come, follow Me.

What do you say?  

My Kingdom is not of this world

John 18-19

“Put your sword into the sheath. Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?”

As we listen to these final words of Jesus before His death, the theme of the two kingdoms returns. Two kingdoms, two truths, two ways. One is the submission and obedience of Jesus to His Father's will. The other is the sword signifying a rule by force. One demonstrates compassion and freedom. The other is controlled by fear and selfishness.  

The beautiful unity between the will of the Father and the Son is the hallmark of of Jesus' kingdom and His reign. Not with the power of the sword but with the greater power of hearts won over by a merciful and loving Savior.

“My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here.”

Jesus' kingdom will not be like this place. And yet He came here to get us, not only risking comforts, not only risking His life, but losing His life. Now Jesus finds Himself all alone in front of this perfect known for  "vindictiveness and furious temper." Where were all who loved Him, were following Him, were healed, fed, and restored by Him?  All had abandoned Him. Jesus was all alone in a throne room, arrested, before a man with earthly powers. 

Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then?”

Jesus answered, “You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.”

Is this a photo of two kings? How can this be? One bound and in rags and the other on a throne. There is only room for one king. That is the nature of kingship. And there is only one truth. That is the nature of truth.

We don't really get to decide what is truth. But we can choose to hear it. Or not.

Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?”

Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”

Pilate thought he had power over Jesus and certainly, from the looks of things, that was true. But like all earthly power, it was fragile and fleeting. Jesus' power is complete and eternal. Pilate's power was ultimately controlled by the Father.

Pilate...brought Jesus out and sat down in the judgment seat... And he said to the Jews, “Behold your King!”

But they cried out, “Away with Him, away with Him! Crucify Him!”

Pilate said to them, “Shall I crucify your King?”

The chief priests answered, “We have no king but Caesar!”

And so there it is, that was their choice. The king they chose was Caesar. Which king will you choose? 

As for me, I need the King who heals the sick, restores the broken, feeds the hungry, restores sight to the blind. Because I have found in myself all those things: sick, broken, hungry, and blind. I need the One willing to take the pain of the whip, carry His cross, lay still as the nails were hammered into His hands and feet because of His great love for me. For me, that is Truth too beautiful to turn away from.

He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.

The doorway into His kingdom is open to me because it is finished. He paid the price. I am free. I am His. I belong in His kingdom.

Are you there too? Have you chosen His kingdom? He is waiting for you! Come. Come with me! Please come.  

Keep watch and pray

Matthew 26:36-56


Sit here while I go over there and pray...My heart is full of sorrow and overwhelmed with grief, to the point of death. Stay here and watch, stay awake; be alert with Me.

When I am feeling sad and lonely, I often am overwhelmed with a sense of worthlessness. Here is Jesus, no one understanding Him, no one able to comfort Him, not one of His friends able to even to stay awake with Him. He is not worthless. He is priceless. Yet still susceptible to grief. 

Jesus fell with His face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, do not give Me this cup of suffering. But do what You want -- Your will, not what I want -- My will.”

He did not want this. The suffering was very real; agony to even God in flesh. And yet, He was willing to submit His will to God. He was crushed not only by His surrender to God's will, but also by the inability of His disciples to stand by Him. 

You men could not stay awake and watch with Me for one hour? Stay awake, keep watch, and pray for strength against temptation or not to fail the test. The spirit wants to do what is right -- it is willing, but the body or human nature, is weak.

They sleep. After the big meal and glasses of wine, the emotional turmoil of Jesus' words to them, it is all too much and they cannot keep their eyes open. After the arrest, they all run away. 

They are weak. 

Sitting around the table, in the light and laughter of shared meals, miracles remembered, basking in the refreshing teaching of their Master, they are brave men. Now in the darkness, they are scared children.

How much I am like them, Father. When I sit at my table reading my Bible, when I am at church worshipping, or at my study group surrounded by like-minded women, I am wise and strong. At 3 am alone in my room, I am afraid just as they were.  

Thank You for forgiveness, for grace. For them. For me.

Keep watch and pray. No matter what they did, You my Beloved, still had work to do. It was not yet Your time to sit and rest. Angels indeed strengthened You, but You first kept watch and prayed.

I read this and hear Your answer to me. How do I beat the sins that hound me? How do I manage the fear that haunts me? How do I find peace with the future uncertain? Here it is, Beloved.

Keep watch and pray.

And in the quiet place, at Your feet, even in the dark and lonely places, You come, my Beloved, with Your legions of angels and strengthen me. Thank You.

Surely you know I could ask My Father, and He would give Me more than twelve legions of angels. But it must happen this way to bring about what the Scriptures say... Then all of Jesus’ disciple left and deserted Him and ran away. 

Broken Servant Leaders

Luke 22:24-38

Within minutes they were bickering over who of them would end up the greatest. 

It is amazing, and embarrassing actually if we were honest, how self centered we are. We like to think of ourselves as important, great, extraordinary. I know I do. The disciples were no different. The conversation shifted quickly from Jesus' bloody death, to who would betray Him, to who would be the greatest in the Kingdom. While it is good to want to be good at something, to try our best, to attain a goal, this is not that. This is about power and authority and superiority. 

But Jesus intervened: “Kings like to throw their weight around and people in authority like to give themselves fancy titles. It’s not going to be that way with you. Let the senior among you become like the junior; let the leader act the part of the servant.

“Who would you rather be: the one who eats the dinner or the one who serves the dinner? You’d rather eat and be served, right? But I’ve taken My place among you as the one who serves."

By Jesus' definition, the servant is the leader. As the New Life Translation puts it: But I am here with you as One Who cares for you. The leader doesn't boss the others. The leader CARES for others.  

But the leadership lesson continues with another prediction:

“Simon, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from Me, like chaff from wheat. Simon, I’ve prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start.”

Leadership has another aspect, one that Peter had to learn in order to lead well. He had to be broken. He had to fail and be restored. He needed to know what both felt like. He had to be broken. But that is not what he thought at first. He thought he had to be faithful:

Peter said, “Master, I’m ready for anything with you. I’d go to jail for you. I’d die for you!”

Jesus said, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Peter, but before the rooster crows you will have three times denied that you know me.”

God alone is faithful.  We are all doomed to fail eventually--that's why Jesus had to come and die for us! But Jesus has chosen us to be His servants, His witnesses, and in order to be compassionate and forgiving, first we need to be shown compassion and forgiveness. 

Peter especially, was bold, so he tried and failed often. It was not the failure that marked him, it was his courage and the Lord restoring him that made him a leader.

Broken servant leaders are what You are looking for in Your Kingdom. Let me look for those kind of men to follow. And in the areas where I minister, influence and lead, help me to always serve with compassion, sharing my brokeness. Remind me that the ground is level at the foot of the cross. In serving I am like You. In failure, You shine as You restore me.

Prepare the Passover

Luke 22:7-21

Go and prepare the Passover for us, that we may eat...Behold, when you have entered the city, a man will meet you carrying a pitcher of water; follow him into the house which he enters..."


And so it began, even tonight, it is the Passover, and many sit together and remember and celebrate the night of deliverance from slavery. For Jesus, it ends as it begins, notice the pitcher of water reminds us of the first miracle, the first sign of the wedding of Cana.

Tradition. Even Jesus loved it. Every year since boyhood He had celebrated this night, the Passover.  Now, however, He did not sit surrounded by His natural family, but His spiritual family. "With fervent desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer..." 

This final meal was an intimate time, of men who spent the last three years together. They sat around the table, eating, singing familiar songs, saying the customary words. Unlike our worship today: there was no band, no visual media, no seats in rows, no pulpit and sermon.  No, Jesus faced them in a circle. He talked but He answered their questions. He touched them. He washed their feet. He poured their wine, blessed their food. He knew them. So different than today. So intimate. More like the family dinner than the worship service. But then that was what the Passover was: teaching and worship with the meal, led by the father, in the setting of family.

And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” Likewise He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you."

But then enters the new. Jesus takes the traditional elements of unleveled bread and wine and introduces the new covenant. His Body, His Blood. Do this in remembrance of Me, with thanksgiving: in Greek: eucharisteō. The water jug, the wine. It begins, it ends, it transforms. We give thanks. Eucharisteō.

How did we translate this into a man on a stage with a microphone? To stained glass windows and statues? To tasteless wafer in a golden box? To online services, people having "church" alone in their PJs? To me with my keyboard writing this blog? You desired to eat the passover with Your disciples. You desire community. Later the author of Hebrews (10:25) would write: And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near. 

Beloved, You remind me not only that You began something new, but the context was very personal, very close, something You cherished. You did not come to stand on a stage with a microphone, while we all sat in rows watching You. You came near, to sit next to us, to hold our hand, to share our meal, to celebrate with us as well as suffer for us. With fervent desire You desire to touch us. One. By one. 

Help me to do the same. Help me to be like You.

Triumph and Tragedy

Luke 19:28-44

For me, Palm Sunday was always the triumphal entry. It was the beautiful sunny day before the storm.

As I read Luke account again today, clearly I was mistaken. Although the disciples were rejoicing and praising God with shouts of "Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord," the Pharisees are quick criticize them. "Teacher, rebuke Your disciples," they called to Jesus. Later these men  would orchestrate Jesus' arrest, trial and crucifixion,  So angry and intent on getting Jesus out of the way, they would later answer Pilate's taunt: "Shall I crucify your King?" with their reply, "We have no king but Caesar!" (John 19:16)  

Clearly the Pharisees were not hailing Jesus as King.

The disciples also were confused regarding exactly what Jesus was talking about. They shouted, "Peace in heaven and glory in the highest," but peace and glory would not come next.  Suffering and death were first.  The peace and glory would be accomplished by Jesus' death. Later it would spread throughout the world by leading to their own martyrs deaths. Eventually even the city would be destroyed. 

Triumph and peace, although ultimately certain, would not be the immediate result of Jesus' entry into the holy city.  Do not be mistaken. The triumph came through His suffering.  The true tragedy came because some remained blind to the miracle.

Luke records Jesus' weeping as He enters the city. I think of the birthday boy that ends up in tears at his own party. But for Jesus, here He is not sorrowful for selfish reasons, as He considers His agony and death.  No, instead, He wept for His beloved city, that would be physically present for this cataclysmic event, but spiritually blind and unable to see it.

Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying, “If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment around you, surround you and close you in on every side, and level you, and your children within you, to the ground; and they will not leave in you one stone upon another, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

His visitation. They were right there and they missed it.

Like Easter this year.  It's all around us: pink fluffy rabbits, cute yellow chicks, chocolate eggs all in frilly baskets. It says Happy Easter, like it is a celebration of the season of Spring. But it is not. It is a Holy Day, a remembrance of the most important event in the history of man.  And they sit and color eggs and eat dinners with family. But they miss it.  They are right there and they miss the visitation.

Like Jesus, I want to weep.  

Jesus, still You went into the city and tried to tell them.  You tried to woo and win each person You touched, each person within the sound of Your voice. Even though You could not convince all of them, You still told all of them. You wept but did not despair. You did not give up.

Beloved, You know how bad I am at this, what a klutzy coward I am! You did not win all either, that is why You wept. Help me to have the wisdom to know what to say, how to love them and the courage to do it. And for the times it fails, remind me that Your tears mingle with my own.  

His intentions

John 12:1-11 and  Matthew 26:10-13

Finally the weather is turning to spring. The evidence can be seen in my front yard: tulips determined to push their way through the dead grass.

So I went for a walk today, allowing yesterday's words in the red to roll in my head. Take away the stone. What does it mean to have enough faith to allow Jesus to take away the stone? Why do I protest when He says to me to take away the stone, as Martha did?

It is my memories of people who I could not trust. People who did not show up, who I depended on but proved themselves to be not dependable.

But other people are not Jesus.  So as I walked today, He whispered to me:

I am not like the people who were unworthy of your trust.  Just because it has not happened yet, this does not mean I am not listening to you, or you are unimportant. It does not mean I said no.

It there is purpose in the pain. My plans are unfolding as you are waiting. I do not waste your pain. I do not waste your waiting. I do not waste your tears.

From the foundations of the world, I have planned for you to be right here, right now, in this. There is no mistake. This is what I always intended.

I am worthy of your trust. Trust Me. 

I find that in today's story too, of Mary who lavished her priceless perfume on Jesus' feet. Mary understood what Jesus had been telling His disciples, even while the others were still in denial. Judas criticized Mary, but Jesus defended her: 

"Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial."

Mary understood, and so I can only guess her sorrow of knowing her dear friend Jesus would die soon. Mary understood, and so she did what she could to worship and thank Him. Her pain, her small gift to the God of the Universe, was all she had to give. But even in her pain, even in Jesus' pain, none of this was wasted, it was INTENDED to be so. Jesus explains more in Matthew 26:10-13:

“Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to Me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have Me. When she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Jesus was blessed by her actions. He called it a beautiful thing to Him. He was able to use her actions to point to a greater truth: He will be buried and they needed to prepare. 

Like Mary, even if we have a glimpse of who Jesus is and what He is up to, we only know the sliver shown to us. He sees the whole. He uses the whole, even my sliver. He uses it as He intended. 

And that is good.

Beloved, I can see that as the tulips in the front yard wait through the winter and bloom in their time, so You have Your time. You are never late. Even in my life.  Thank You that even though Martha protested about the stone, You still prevailed and it was moved away. Thank You that Your will always prevails. I cannot mess it up! I cannot miss it. 

Thank You Beloved for showing me that my trust is weak because I am comparing You to the breathing people I have known. You are so much more than that, so other, so worthy. Allow me to understand and worship You in abandon as Mary did. 

You are worthy of my trust. So worthy.

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

Take the stone away

John 11:17-45

When Jesus arrived, Lazarus was already dead four days. Interestingly, the Expanded Bible translation noted: "Some Jews believed that a soul would stay near a body for up to three days after death."  Later in the text, Martha noted that Lazarus' body already had the odor of decay. So not only did Jesus wait for Lazarus to be dead---Lazarus was good and stinking dead.

This was the last test, the last practice, if you would, before Jesus would enter Jerusalem for the last time. The next death would be His own. This lesson, although painful, would be His last sign before His own resurrection. And so Jesus turns to Martha and says:

"I am the One Who raises the dead and gives them life. Anyone who puts his trust in Me will live again, even if he dies. Anyone who lives and has put his trust in Me will never die. Do you believe this?" 

Jesus has already shown His power over sickness, over demons, over the elements of nature. Now He will demonstrate His power over dead.

His point? He wants all to believe in Him.

And how does Martha do on her pre-test: let's see: 

She answered, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God. You are the One Who was to come into the world.”

Good job, Martha. But then Jesus raises the stakes. He goes with her to the tomb and makes the big ask:

“Take the stone away.” 

This time, Martha does not do so well. She replies: “Lord, by now his body has a bad smell. He has been dead four days.”

Martha is a lot like me. It is easy to sit here and type that I love Jesus and I believe in Him. It is a lot harder to agree to take the stone away. It means something has to happen. It means I expect the miracle to come true. That Jesus will be God, not only in the Bible, not only in theory. But in my real life. 

Martha thinks that too. In the beginning she told Jesus: “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. I know even now God will give You whatever You ask.” - and - “I know that he will rise again when the dead are raised from the grave on the last day.” But that is not what Jesus said. He meant right now, in front of your face, I am going to do this for you and show My power in your life. 

I struggle with believing still. Even though I know this, there is this block in my mind, in my heart, in my "it could never happen to me" life. Dear Jesus, give me courage to trust You. To take the stone away. 

Jesus said to her, “Did I not say that if you would believe, you would see the shining-greatness of God?”

They took the stone away. Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank You for hearing Me. I know You always hear Me. But I have said this for the people standing here, so they may believe You have sent Me.” 

When He had said this, He called with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The man who had been dead came out. 

Look at His confidence with the Father. Look at how merciful He was with the sisters, tenderly redirecting them, encouraging them to believe. Thank You, Beloved for Your tenderness to me, to lead me gently.

Your point to Martha, Your test and preparation for Martha, is the same as the one you have for me. Do I believe in You? Yea? How much? How about this much? How about this much? And on and on You push and prod until we get it.

I don't want to be presumptuous but I want to have great faith. I want to not only SAY I believe but have the "take the stone away" trust in You. Thank You for continuing to push me, to teach me, to not give up on me, as You did not give up on Martha.

As a result, many of the Jews who had come with Mary saw what happened and believed in Him.