Prejudice and Transformation

Last Friday I went to the movies and watched Hidden Figures. As the movie progressed I winced as I watched the true story of three women who endured treatment that no human should experience. Prejudice in all it's hateful glory was on display. However, by the end of the movie, the hearts of the most prejudice among the players had changed. Instead we saw understanding, respect, and kindness on the screen. How did that happen? What triggered the transformation?

On Saturday night, my daughter and I watched the 30th anniversary edition of The Breakfast Club. She had never seen it before, indeed it was released before she was born. "Why do you like this movie, mom?" she asked.

Because it too was about prejudice and transformation. There were no people of color in this movie. In fact, they were all white, straight teens in a middle class high school. And yet they found a way to be prejudiced, to put people in little boxes and not let them out. The brain, the athlete, the basket case, the princess and the criminal. But one Saturday they were forced to sit together all day and after they fought and talked and played together they discovered they were not so different after all. Same thing happened in Hidden Figures. Forced to work together in NASA for the common goal of getting a man into space and returning him safely, they discovered they could see past the boxes of man and woman and black and white that they had been forced into.

Our family in Washington DC 

Tomorrow is the day we remember Martin Luther King Jr. He was a great man who fought for liberty and peace. Four days later, the power of presidential leadership passes from our first black president to a white man, a billionaire real estate tycoon who never before held public office. 2016 was a year tarnished and torn by trash talk and bloodshed and bigotry. We remain a nation divided into pieces and more than just black and white.

How do we heal from this?

Like the teens in The Breakfast Club, maybe we need a Saturday detention, a forced time to sit face to face. Maybe we need a common goal like those who discovered they needed even Hidden Figures to help them all succeed.

Maybe if just one of us reaches out  to someone different to listen, not merely to judge or mock but to try to understand.

Maybe me. Maybe you. Maybe today. Let's try that. Are you in?



I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. 

-- Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. 1963

Me too, Martin. Me too.

The Walk

First summer walk and I return again to the stream by my home, a favorite place to pray. On the narrow walking bridge I stop to look at the brook, swiftly passing below, full with spring rains. The lush foliage bows towards the waters. How often have I looked at the brook and asked God about my future. What is going to happen? When is it going to happen? What do I need to do to make it happen? I desperately wanted to know what was in my future. I needed to know because I wanted to be prepared.

This time, even though there was still many uncertainties in my life, I looked at the brook and felt His peace, not my questions. And in that peace He said to me:

No, you do not need know. You need to trust Me. I alone can prepare you.

It's the same at the beach.  There I found it was tempting to look for shells and rocks, and when I found something interesting I would wonder, what does this mean for my future, Lord? Once I found a large smooth stone shaped in the form of a heart. And my hope was renewed for a vision of mine. But it was mine alone and not of Him. It never worked out.

This summer's first beach walk I looked again at the sandy edge and He said to me:

I do not speak to you from the creation on the shore. I have given you My Word, My Son, My Spirit.

Beloved Jesus, there it is again. Trust. My impatience displays a lack of trust in You. Beloved, remind me of the wonders You have already done. Remind me You are worthy of my trust. Thank You for Your patience with me as I fail and fail again. Thank You of not leaving me in the desperate place of needing to know, wanting to know. It is Your mercy that You do not tell me.

It is in Your mercy that You spare me from my petty desires and give me Yours alone. You have given me so much! Your Word, Your Son, Your Spirit. I may not know the future. I am blessed instead to know You.

on baseball mitts and tap shoes

Debbie and Gio, off stage

I saw Gio yesterday at his game, handsome and so tall already in his uniform and cap. He played first base, he pitched from the mound, using his mitt to catch so well. I was the audience today, watching him and as I did I remembered other times long ago, watching Debbie on the stage, her tap shoes clicking skillfully to the tune, her costume glistening in the lights.

There is still a part of me that longs to be that too, on the stage, in the spotlight, with the audience watching me. On the field, using my mitt, running the bases, pitching the ball. From childhood it started and I never lost that longing. I confess, even now I want to be seen, to be heard, to be noticed. I want what I do to last, to matter, to be a thing of beauty.

The desire haunts me. But it is not working for me.

But then, Beloved, You speak to me tenderly in Your great mercy….

You need to remember that I see you. I am always watching you, always with you. You are never alone. I am your very attentive and loving audience of One. As you delight in Gio and Debbie, so I also delight in you. But I created you and specifically gifted you to be a servant. That is how you will achieve the greatest good, not only for others but also for yourself. It seems lowly but it is not. For you, it is your true greatness, your true goodness. And you cannot be a servant as I have created you to be, from the center of the stage. The center of the stage is not for you. I have protected you from that spot but you still desire it. This is your idol and you must repent.

Trust Me. I know what is good. I want to give you what is good but I cannot when you chase after this other thing. It is not for you. I want to give you the better portion of servanthood. It will not be taken away from you. It is sitting at My feet. It is filling the room with the fragrance of worship. That is where you will be remembered. That is where I will use you best.

As you serve and teach you must remember that you are not better than any whom you serve. They are your family and My beloved. Pride can be a trap even for a servant. Even kings are warned against it (Deut 17:18-20). This too is sin. Point always to Me, the true eternal King.

I will use you by the power of My Holy Spirit where I have put you. Remember, I am the Creator and King of the Universe and I see you. I notice you. I will make what you do in secret last eternally. I will make it matter in My kingdom. I will make it a thing of incredible beauty beyond what you can imagine.

Trust Me. Rest in this. It is from Me. And I am doing a good thing.

...you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:41-42)

That's your problem

It happened again at work yesterday. She called me back weeping, so troubled, so alone. The situation seemed dire, not only for her but also for her young son. My mind raced as I talked to her on the phone: how can I help them? Even though it was not my job to help, even though she wanted to keep it a secret because she was so ashamed.

We’re reading about the last days of Jesus in our life group, where He was betrayed in the Garden. All betrayed Him, but in the end, Peter was restored, and became the hero and leader of the church. However Judas hung himself and is remembered as the betrayer and of the devil himself. Why is that? What’s the difference? The answer lies in three verses left for us by Matthew:

Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, “I’ve sinned. I’ve betrayed an innocent man.”

They said, “What do we care? That’s your problem!”

Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself. (Matthew 27:3-5)

Judas, like Peter, realized his sin. The difference was while Peter wept then returned to the fellowship of the disciples, Judas went to the high priest.

Judas tried to fix it himself.

The high priest even urged him on in this: “That’s your problem!” And because the problem was too enormous for Judas to fix himself, he hung himself in despair.

Horrified I considered the situation yesterday with the troubled woman and her son. I want to help her but, let’s face it, the situation is enormous. Like Judas I am anxious, consumed, and in despair because I cannot find a way to help. I am like Judas:

Barbara tried to fix it herself.

Beloved Jesus, forgive me. Some things are way over my pay grade, as this one was yesterday. Maybe I can help in a small way, but not without coming to You first. Nothing is too enormous for You, even death itself. Please remind me again and again that prayer is doing something. Sometimes it is the only thing. I can come to You because You are able, indeed You are enormous and You love with us with an enormous love. I can trust You.

What was I thinking? Reprise

It was 2000 years ago when a widow came to the Jerusalem temple and inconspicuously dropped in two small copper coins into the temple treasury. She was surrounded by many wealthy people giving large sums, but undeterred, she dropped her offering into the box.

Later a woman named Mary scandalized her dinner party guests when she took an entire bottle of pure nard and poured it on the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair. The perfume was ridiculously expensive and although she was ridiculed by others, she only looked at His face.

About 30 years pass. Paul sat in prison and wrote a letter to dear friends far away. They had given him a gift and he was saying thank you and also shared important matters of his heart and his faith with them. When the letter was done, he handed the scroll to his friend Epaphroditus and prayed for his safe travel to the distant city of Philippi.

All three, the poor nameless widow, Mary of Bethany and Paul had no idea at the time of the significance of their obedience. I wonder -- what were they thinking?

Did the widow wonder what difference it made, her two tiny coins compared to the substantial contributions of the others? Did she fear ridicule for her tiny donation? Did she wonder how she would eat the next day because all her money was now gone? Maybe she just had faith and was obedient to God because she trusted Him, even with all she had.

Did Mary wonder what everyone would say when she lavished all of her precious gift on Jesus? Did she think she would be hidden behind Him at His feet? Was she embarrassed when she realized the smell of the nard filled the room and everyone was staring at her, her hair undone, her extravagance revealed? Was she horrified when Judas pointed at her in scorn saying the money could have been used to feed the poor? Maybe she just had faith and was determined to demonstrate her love for Jesus.

Did Paul wonder if his letter would get to it's destination? Was he concerned about Epaphroditus' health and safety as he traveled? Was he in prayer that the Philippians would be encouraged by his letter and be open to his instructions? Did he wonder if he wasted his time to write a letter that they may never receive? Probably he was moved to communicate to them in the only way available to him, although it was lengthy and cumbersome, and he trusted God for the rest.

The widow had no idea that the Lord of Israel in the flesh stood near her watching and held her up as a sterling example of generosity and faith to His disciples for generations. Mary had no idea Jesus would defend her to her guests, praise her faith and proclaim that her story would be included wherever the gospel was preached. Paul had no idea that not only would his letter reach Philippi but it also would sit on my kitchen table today in New Jersey. They only acted in faith. They had no idea how God would use their obedience.

Ten years ago, I voiced frustration to a dear wise friend. While I don't remember the specifics of the situation, I clearly recall his advice. Use your gift, he told me. Find a way to express the gift that God has given you. And so hesitantly I began a blog. What was I thinking? I had been writing in journals all my life as I cried my heart out to the Lord, as I studied His word. Out of those conversations, He seemed to talk back to me. Really, He did. I'm sorry if it sounds crazy. The words, those thoughts were too "other" to be mine. I wanted to write them down and save them in a way so I could remember them. I hoped that they would encourage others. And some people have told me these posts are encouraging. But I am sure the person who reads my blog the most is me! As I recall Jesus' words to me, I am encouraged and rebuked and strengthened all over again.

I have no idea how God will use this blog. But I know He reads every word. He remains my main audience, an audience of One. This is my conversation with Him. My prayer is that you, if you are reading this, would also be encouraged. Do you have a gift? Are you using it? Find a way to express the gift God has given you. Don't be deterred that it seems small. Don't be embarrassed that it seems ridiculous to others. Don't be hopeless that it will be effective.

God used two small coins, a pound of nard, a parchment is a mighty way. And so I trust Him with this blog. You can trust Him too.

Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me."

Matthew 12:14-44, Matthew 26:6-13, John 12:1-8, Philippians 2:25-30

I hung the moon

I was driving home last night in silence except for the hum of my old Toyota. Inside my head, however, there was the screaming voice of Worry. Worry for people who I would never meet who's life was affected by my failure to resolve the  late afternoon phone call. Worry about how I could not help because it was not my job. Worry about what I could not do because I did not know how. 

Worry swirled around and absorbed me in fruitless conversations I would never have.

Then I looked up and saw the moon in the late twilight sky. A tiny sliver, it stood suspended above the dark blues and oranges of sunset. 

"I hung the moon." God whispered to me. "I hung the moon and I can handle this too."

I remembered a prayer from a prior day when I knew I was praying towards sin but did not know what else to ask of God. "Your will be done, Lord, open doors, close the others that lead to no good." Maybe You are doing that for those people who I just failed but would never meet. Maybe this is Your goodness, Your mercy, closing a door for them. I cannot know.

But I can trust You. Of that alone I am certain. Because I could see right ahead. See, You hung the moon.

God made two great lights -- the larger one to govern the day, and the smaller one to govern the night. He also made the stars....And God saw that it was good. (Genesis 1:16,18)

Grab on

Captivated by the movie scene playing in blazing color on the 72-inch TV, I stood transfixed as I waited for my daughter to complete her Best Buy purchase. It was the Terminator Geneisys bridge scene where Arnold chases the fleeing school bus, his determined face showing through the circle of shattered windshield glass.

As the scene progresses, the evil character damages the bus’ mechanisms causing it to flip in mid-air, careening wildly and finally stopped, hanging off the side of the Gold Gate Bridge. The good gal and guy team are still in the bus, dazed but unharmed, as is the bad guy and a chase ensues inside the dangling bus. Arnold arrives at the bus just in time to reach out his strong arm to the gal, who in turn grabs the arm of the good guy as he reaches out to her. The bus breaks free and falls into the water below with the bad guy in it just as Arnold pulls the gal and guy to safety.

And then the movie switched to another scene in another movie and I found myself back in the Best Buy TV sales section.

For several days the scenes flashed repeatedly through my mind. Arnold, the hero who they tried to kill over and over but they could not. How he relentlessly chased them and then rescued them with his strong arm. So much like our Jesus!

Jesus came as a babe in a manger, tender and mild. He looked like a toddler to the wise men and when He grew He looked like a mere man to the townspeople of Nazareth. But He is not. Jesus is greater than even Arnold in all his cinematic special effects. They tried to kill Jesus but they could not. He too emerged unharmed, not from a damaged vehicle but from the grave. Jesus’ saving is greater too, saving not only our lives of flesh but our eternal lives as well.



Jesus chases after us. He reaches out His mighty arm. He will save you from whatever bus you are hanging from. Grab His hand today.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords…

to Him who alone does great wonders..

with a mighty hand and outstretched arm…

His love endures forever.

(Psalm 136:3, 4, 12)

and know that I am God

It was given to me by dear friends, B for Barbara I supposed because it was not a verse that was important to me. It hung in my bedroom for years and then one morning, I lay still on my bed and saw it, and understood for the very first time. 

And the Father spoke to me...

Be still... Stop striving, worrying, working towards something you can never do, that I never intended you to fix. Stop yelling, nagging, plotting, conniving, marshaling supporters, manipulating. Just stop it! Lay down, stare at the walls. Mind your own business. Be still.

and know... You need to understand to your core, deep in your heart and to the edges of your mind, so that all your thoughts, desires, actions, habits, and character reflects the unshakable faith...

that I... Not you, your husband, your boss, your kids, the president, the pope, the pastor, coach, teacher, co-worker, mom, brother, or anyone else...

am God. No one else can rule the universe. Only Me. And even though things look messy, I know what I am doing. I have a plan, a plan that includes you and your family and your job and your future and even the future of the generations beyond. As you are available to Me, I will use you, but I am so much bigger than just you. 

I've got this.  
I love you. 
Be still. 

You can trust Me to work it out and we can talk about it. I want to patiently hear you. Even the tossed journals with painful events, too ugly to keep, I remember each scribble, each tear. I have saved the tears but I used it all to heal you and make you into the woman you are. And look at you! You are beautiful.

Those I brought to you to minister are for you to love and not to fix. Point them to Me, point to My truth and grace. Trust My Holy Spirit to bring to their minds the correct portions of truth at the proper time. Bring them back to Me. Encourage, listen, rebuke only with humility, kindness and infinite patience.

In the end, no matter what mess they make of their lives, I want them home. Dirty, exhausted, but Mine. No sin precludes them, I only care that they return. My arms are always open, sandals, robe and ring nearby. I am poised, watching and waiting for their return. 

Your return too, dear daughter. So be still and know that I am God. 

Psalm 46:10

Angels and Inspiration

YoungLives Tea October 17, 2015

 

My favorite angel is Gabriel. He is most often remembered for his visit with Mary the mother of Jesus, but before then, he visited Zechariah the priest. Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth were good people but they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and at the time they were both very old.

Gabriel visited Zechariah while he performed his priestly duties in the temple. Gabriel announced that Zechariah and Elizabeth would give birth to a son, who would become John the Baptist, but Zechariah did not believe him. The angel’s response was:

 “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. ” (Luke 1:19)

The word “angel” means “messenger.” Here God had a message for Zechariah, but he doesn’t believe Him, even though the angel Gabriel stood before him in all his splendor.

Like Zechariah, we are also witness to a glorious miracle but it is so hard for us to see. The story of Zechariah and Gabriel must have been a favorite in their community at that time and repeated often. Eventually, Elizabeth told it to Mary, Mary told it to Luke who wrote it down for a friend, and that story was copied over and over again, first with ink on parchment and eventually with machines on paper, for 2,000 years. Even though Zechariah, Mary and Luke had no idea at the time, God preserved it for us to hear it today.

I believe God’s message from the angel is for us too. He has something to say to us, something He wants us to believe and something He wants us to do, if we would only hear Him.

The story of Gideon is another example of an angel with a message. Gideon lived in the period of Judges and his story is told in chapter 6. At that time, the Israelites were in the Promised Land but because they had failed obey God’s command to drive out the evil nations who lived there before, these nations continued to invade their communities.  The army of the nation of Midian ruined the Israelite’s crops and slaughtered their livestock. Gideon and his people were impoverished and lived in terror. When the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress, which is essential a pit. He was hiding from the Midian army.

¹² When the Angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

¹³ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? … now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”  (Judges 6)

Gideon felt abandoned by God because of the situation he was in. When you are at the bottom of a hole, hiding from your enemies, you feel pretty hopeless. The angel reminded Gideon, and us as well, that God is with us. He has plans for us if we would trust Him.

¹⁴ The Lord turned to [Gideon] and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

¹⁵ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest … and I am the least in my family.”

¹⁶ The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.” (Judges 6)

Gideon was afraid with good reason. Midian had a massive, powerful army. But although the odds were stacked against him, God intended him to be a mighty warrior.  

Do you feel small and unworthy like Gideon? Do you feel unable to cope with what you have to do day by day? Me too. God reminds us that although He calls us to what seems impossible, He is with us. He will give us the wisdom, the strength, and the courage, to do whatever He put in our hand.

Even though we feel inept, unprepared, and unable to do what must be done, God is with us, and He is all we need. We often cannot see how He can use us, but He will. Maybe in a big way as He used Gideon. Maybe in a more modest way. But whatever way, it will be important. And it will be enough. As we rely on His Holy Spirit in us in our everyday lives, He transforms us into the women we are meant to be.

¹⁷ Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. ¹⁸ Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.”

And the Lord said, “I will wait until you return.”

¹⁹ Gideon went inside, prepared a young goat, and … made bread without yeast… the Angel of the Lord touched the meat and the unleavened bread with the tip of the staff that was in his hand. Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and the bread. And the Angel of the Lord disappeared. (Judges 6)

Gideon was not only afraid, he also lacked faith. This magnificent angel stood right in front of him, and yet, he did not believe. He asked for a sign. God was patient with Gideon, even in his unwillingness to trust Him.

Do you lack faith? Me too! God is patient with us. He waits for us to be ready to believe and obey. He gently urges us and encourages us but never forces us. As the angel did here for Gideon, God is always willing to show off and do big things to remind us we can trust Him. He is faithful even when we lack faith.

²² When Gideon realized that it was the Angel of the Lord, he exclaimed, “Alas, Sovereign Lord! I have seen the Angel of the Lord face to face!”

²³ But the Lord said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.”

²⁴ So Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and called it The Lord Is Peace… (Judges 6)

God has come not to destroy us, but to give us life and peace. Stepping out in faith can be scary. God was so gentle with this man who became a warrior leader. We can trust He will be gentle and patient with us when we struggle to step out in faith.

²⁵ That same night the Lord said to him, “Tear down your father’s altar to Baal.” … ²⁷ So Gideon took ten of his servants and did as the Lord told him… (Judges 6)

God told Gideon to take down his idols. It seems silly that ancient people would make figures of wood or stone and then think they were god. But I do the same thing when I trust in other people instead of God. How about you?

Do you bring your troubles to friends to discuss before you turn to God in prayer? Do you find yourself trusting in your job and your 401K for provision? Do you trust in our government officials or your insurance policy to protect you? Do you place your confidence in your doctor or medicine to heal you? Don’t get me wrong, a 401K, insurance policy and medicine are all good things and we should use them as the Lord leads. However, I have found all these things will eventually disappoint us. It is God who provides, protects and heals us. God reminds us to tear down those alters and trust Him most of all. He alone is worthy of our worship.

Gideon obeyed God but did it in the dark of night because he knew his neighbors would be furious, and in the morning when they discovered what he did, they were.

³⁰ The people of the town demanded of Joash [Gideon’s father], “Bring out your son. He must die, because he has broken down Baal’s altar.” (Judges 6)

When we take steps of faith, when we talk about what we believe, we must expect some people to react negatively. Some will argue with us, dismiss us, ridicule us and talk about us behind our back. Let’s not be surprised. But there will be others who will see and desire our faith. In all, we need to trust God.

Let me tell you about Gideon’s battle and how the story ends.

¹⁹ Gideon and the … men with him reached the edge of the [Midian army’s] camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands… ²⁰ Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” ²¹ While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled. ²² …the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. (Judges 7)

God used Gideon and only 300 men to defeat the enormous Midian army. Note, there was no bloodshed for Gideon’s people because the Midianites killed each other.  It was an outrageous miracle, just as the angel of the Lord promised.

We can lose sight that this life is a battle. We are fighting a war. In Israel women bear arms and fight against the enemy. In the Kingdom of God, we must too. God calls us to be brave and to trust Him. He is still in the business of doing outrageous miracles.

We all have a Midian in our life. Maybe for you it is caring for young children or an elderly parent. Maybe it is a loss of a job or a job that is so stressful it is killing you. Maybe there is a secret sin you are afraid to reveal, or you carry the burden of your teen’s or husband’s secret sin. Maybe your Midian is sickness or death of a loved one. Whatever it is, you feel like Gideon: impoverished, terrified, and in a hole. You are sure God has abandoned you.

Let us remember that God preserved these words for centuries for us to hear today. I believe the Angel of the Lord’s message is for us, just as He spoke to Gideon long ago. Please hear the words of the Angel of the Lord:

I see you as the mighty woman I always intended you to be.

Go. I am sending you.

I am with you and will give you all the strength you need.

I am patient. I will wait for you.

I am your peace. Do not be afraid.

Take down your idols and trust Me alone.

I am faithful.

Making Plans

Making plans for the summer?

I love planning things, from parties and trips to business projects and classes. Like Eric Liddell of Chariots of Fire felt the pleasure of God when he ran, I feel God’s pleasure as I plan. We are made in God’s image, and because He plans, we plan too.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16)

So does God not want us to plan? Not at all. God just wants to be part of the process. He us to remember that He is sovereign in all things and when we plan, remember it is God who is in control, not us.

The scriptures give some great questions to ask ourselves as we plan.

1. Did we pray about our plans, searching the scriptures for God’s wisdom?
2. Are we seeking advice from godly trusted friends? Are we open to what they are telling us?
3. Did we consider how our plans affect others? Is this a win-win or will my plans need others to be inconvenienced, hurt, or devalued? My dear friend Sue Taylor’s moto comes to mind: Fun isn’t fun unless it’s fun for everyone.
4. When working with others, do we fret over their success?
5. Are we manipulating others? Are we being devious? Are we pushing our way, trying to control situations out of our control?
6. Although we trust God’s in control, are we still working hard to make our plans succeed?
7. If our plans are not working out, are we looking for the good and the God in the situation? Or are we whining and complaining that we are not getting our way?

Even when we are trusting God, we need to remember, God is not obligated to make our plans work out to the way we want. Although it is difficult to accept, sometimes no matter how we painstakingly plan, how hard we work, or how often we pray, we will have dreams that must die.

God never promised that everything will work out in this life. No, Jesus specifically promised: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Will we trust God anyway?

Sometimes our plans work out great, like a recent Saturday morning when my brother and I enjoyed taking the ferry into Manhattan. The weather was perfect and our time together sweet.

However there was another morning, when our cousin Susan planned a business trip to the top of the World Trade Center and it ended with her name engraved in bronze around a massive square pool. Why? Certainly that will be a question I will ask Jesus when I see Him. But when I embrace Susan again in His presence, perhaps the whys will not matter.

I have been frustrated and responded in anger over thwarted vacation plans and botched dinners. I have wept over career plans gone awry and family dreams that had to die. I found that trusting God is sweeter while I am waiting. Trusting God brings peace during tragic loss. Trusting God allows me to see and enjoy His great and unexpected gifts.

Jesus, help me trust You more. Help me to see what You are doing in the earth and plan with an eye towards Your glory.

For more on this, see James 4:13-5:6, Psalm 38:1-8, Proverbs 19:20-24

Love Wins

On June 26, 2015, nine men and women in Washington, D.C., ruled that marriage between two men and two women was a right in all 50 states of the USA that could not be denied. In their decision, they declared in lofty beautiful language that love wins.

2000 years ago, there lived one Man in Israel who claimed that someday He would come and judge the entire world. In His teaching He declared in lofty beautiful language the perfect Law the world should live by, including what marriage means. His moral code was so high that those who truly understood Him knew they could never attain perfection by the standards He stated.

No one could attain His standards. Not the extremely religious of His day, certainly not the common people, not even those who left all to follow Him.

But Jesus embraced them all and loved them all. He showed His love in practical ways: He touched them; He ate with them; He fed them; He healed them; He washed their feet. Despite our failure to be perfect, Jesus loves us and longs for us to be with Him forever, so He did the unthinkable. He took our punishment for all of our sins on His own body and allowed evil men to torture Him and hang Him on a tree.

Then He said, “It is finished,” and when He died, all of our sins were washed away. Our sins of lust, our sins of hate, our sins of pride. ALL of them. My sins. Your sins. Three days later, He destroyed death by rising from the dead. On that Easter morning, God declared that #LoveWins. Not the love of two men or two women or even a man and a woman. God’s love won over our wrongs. Over our fear and hate. Over everything that divided us from God and from each other.

Let’s not forget what Jesus taught us: None of us keep His perfect Law!

All of us fall short in the arena of sexual purity, even if the only place we sin is in our hearts. The ground is level at His cross and we all stand there condemned and justified at the same time.

Jesus Christ is still coming one day to judge all the earth. Jesus is judge. No one else.

What do we say then to these things happening around us?

The LGBT community has been crying out for acceptance. Jesus came to love them too. Can we who follow Him show them His amazing grace?

Jesus came to teach truth as well. Can we continue to strive to live and teach others to live by His moral code in an increasingly permissive world?

There are those who fear the judgment set by nine men and women in Washington, D.C., will begin persecution of Christ’s church in our country. Can we trust that God is bigger than our government and His purpose and glory will prevail?

Can we declare together that #LoveWins because of Jesus? He alone is Judge and Perfect Savior. No one else.

Why do we have arguments?

James 4:1-10

When I think of why I have not been getting along with someone, the story always goes like this:

He is so stubborn. She is so controlling. He has a bad attitude. She is always picking on me. He is stupid. She is jealous. He is mean. She never minds her own business. He doesn’t have a good word to say about anyone.

The story always starts with him. Or her. Never me. I am trying to be patient, trying to be kind, trying to overlook the fault, just trying to help him. But he makes it so impossible. She just won’t get off my back.

James has a different idea.

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

It’s inside my heart. I want what I want. I want my way. I think my way is better. I want what you have. I want my comfort. I want my happiness. And I don’t care if it’s at your expense.

The Holy Spirit shows us another way in Jesus. Jesus left the comfort of heaven to rescue us. He allowed people to treat Him however they wanted. He did not force Himself on anyone. He did not follow His own agenda. No, He did whatever He saw the Father doing. He submitted to His Father’s will all the way to a Roman cross where He bled and died while the men whom He loved and came to save mocked Him and spit on Him. This our Savior.

Jesus did all this to bring us home. He gave up His comfort, peace and even His life because He valued our relationship with Him. Our Father longs for peace between us, for us to be loving and kind to each other. And we are arguing about? What??

So then, what shall we do? James tells us:

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you… your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief…

It is not about the argument, or even the other person. It is about humbling ourselves before God. Remembering God is big and knows best and we are small. It is about putting God first, remembering He is most important, not the issue we are fighting about. Satan wants to mess up our relationships. He wants us to argue. He must stand up to Satan. We must choose God’s way. We must be sorry for our selfishness and repent of being careless about others’ feelings.

We need to ask these difficult but important questions: Could I be a little bit wrong here? Could some of this be my fault? Am I listening to her feelings? Could my attitude use a little adjusting? Am I valuing our relationship more than getting my own way? Could it be my turn to submit? If not this time, then when?

Beloved Jesus, it is hard to ask these questions. I don’t want to yield, let go of control, admit I am wrong. But Your Holy Spirit is within me leading me to blessed peace. Remind me the relationship is always more important than the issue we are arguing over. Help me to be Your daughter and forgive, submit, be kind, and trust You for the outcome. You have shown me over and over again that You are faithful and more generous than I could ever ask or imagine.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor.

Just call home

I called my mother last night. Truth be told, I have not always been great at keeping in touch. Maybe that was why she was so delighted to hear from me. “It makes me so happy that you called me,” she giggled into the phone.

Recently I have noticed, with great joy, my relationship with my adult daughters improving. They visit, spend time talking with me, even asking me what I think about matters in their lives. Maybe it’s because they are in their later 20s and maturing. Hopefully it is because I have been more respectful and less controlling. Whatever the reason, our improved relationship has given me a peace and a confidence in life. No matter how the rest of the world is going, when your family loves you, nothing else is more important.

He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

With Father’s Day approaching, I remember my own wonderful dad. He’s in heaven now but I don’t need to ask him what he would want for me and what would make him happy. He would want me to do what is right and show others kindness and mercy. He would want me to take loving care with my relationships with my mother and brother, with my husband and daughters. He would want me to continue in relationship with them, not matter what else is happening. When we hurt each other, to talk it over and mend the relationship. When life gets busy, to make time for each other.

Perhaps that is why it is so powerful when Jesus reminds us that God is like our fathers. He wants us to read His word because He has something to say to us about our lives. When we are humble and seek His advice, He rejoices. He longs for us to come to Him in prayer because He wants to be close to us. He wants to hear our voice and share our life with Him. When we pray, He rejoices.

Truth be told, I need my mother’s love. I want her encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I hang up, I feel peace.

Likewise, I need my God’s love. I want His encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I take the time to humble myself as I read His word, enter into prayer, write down the thoughts He shares with me in my journal, I feel peace.

What does the Lord require of me? What would delight my Father in heaven? Taking the time for relationship with Him. As I do that I find myself having more mercy for others and strength to do the right thing.

But it’s not just for Him. It’s also for me. Because in the end, my improved relationship with Him gives me peace.

Sheila Fields on Motherhood

On Mothers Day 2013, a panel of women shared their thoughts on Motherhood at Montclair Community Church (MCC).

One of those women was Sheila Fields, mother of six adult children, one of them was Pastor Joe Fields, a Youth Pastor who died at the age of 31. I attended this service because I wanted to hear what Sheila had to share, which was amazing. She gave me her permission to share her talk. Sheila is a woman of great insight, wisdom and wit. Enjoy and be blessed. Thank you Sheila, for sharing your heart with us!   

What do you enjoy the most about being a mother? What are some of your greatest joys?

To me, having babies was like winning the big lottery. I loved each stage; the infants, the adolescents, the teens (not my favorite) the young adults and the grown adults. It all went by too fast. I am glad to have this opportunity to reminisce about all the precious moments I enjoyed with my children.

However, it also brought back moments of some regrets. I made mistakes. I have a list of "wish I could do over" moments. I regret how I handled many situations but even more I regret words spoken and mostly words not spoken. I'm sorry I didn't teach my children to have a faith that views the prize of eternal life with Christ as the most important thing in their lives.

The greatest joys were in the small things, the cute things they say, the drawings and papers to hang on the fridge, the surprise hugs and kisses. Weddings and babies are life's biggest joys.

What are some of your daily struggles in motherhood?

Letting go. You have to allow your children to make their own mistakes and learn how to resolve them.

Is there anything you wish someone would have told you before you became a mother?

I was the best mother to my dolls. I thought I had the job down pat. I soon learned that you can't hold your babies upside down by one leg or throw them in the toy box for days on end until you're ready to play with them again. I wish I had been more prepared. I wish I knew how hard and exhausting it was going to be. I wish I had been more mature.

What is the best practical advice you've ever received about mothering?

It's not original and I'm sure you've heard expressed different ways. I say it this way "Discipline to teach not to punish, discipline from love never from anger." I've tried to pass this on to my children who are now parents.

What has been one of the greatest challenges you faced in motherhood?

As I've said I'm very proud of all my children, they have grown into lovely, loving, good, descent human beings. I don't mean to slight any of my other children, I could talk to you about the specialness of any one of them for hours, days maybe. But today I want to talk about my youngest son, Joseph. Joseph was a child who taught his mother more than she ever taught him. He was the son who God used to give his mother a testimony. Joseph was the child who gave his mother the best gift EVER, the gift of authentic faith.

Many of you knew him. Around here he was known as P.J. or Pastor Joe. He was the youth pastor here at MCC until his death on December 17, 2005 at the age of thirty-one while undergoing his third liver transplant. It's been almost seven and a half years. Jerry and I were blessed with very good children. I don't take any credit, they just came that way, and Joe was beyond belief. I don't think he ever said "no" to us. He had some health issues as a baby and then he was going along pretty well until high school where two momentous things happened (1) he had a born-again experience (2) he was diagnosed with ulcerated colitis. He had surgery for the colitis which at first seemed successful but then took a turn for the worst. The doctor said they would see what they could do, they did not expect him to make it BUT, guess what? God (your God, my God, the one and only true God) had other plans. Joe recovered and was fine until his liver disease presented itself.

We didn't use the term in those days but, Joe had a bucket list. Our good God delivered big time and Joe was so grateful. He got to go to Moody Bible Institute and become a Youth Minister, he met the love of his life, married and had a child - so many joys he never thought possible.

After Joe's born again event, he never looked back. He lived every waking moment for the glory of God. As a youth pastor he greatly influenced dozens of young people and he was a great witness to all who knew him including his own parents. He was the best Christian I've ever known. I don't expect to ever meet another like him.

I always considered myself a Christian but now, looking back, I would describe my early Christian walk as a Christian zombie. We all know them: a stagnant walk, no growth. This passage from Isaiah 29:13 sums it up pretty well: “The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’” As I observed the way Joe lived his faith I wanted his kind of faith, I wanted my faith to grow. I wanted to know the Bible. In the church I grew up in, we were not encouraged to read the Bible, in fact, it was discouraged. Now I view that as criminal! I had no idea of how much I was missing. Before he died my heart was already changing.

When he died I knew I couldn't have loved him more but I didn't shed a tear. Jerry and I knew that in all probability Joe was not going to have a normal lengthily life so we had been somewhat prepared but my reaction was totally unexpected. I was filled with the most wonderful peace. I believe it was the peace that God promises in Philippians 4:6-7 where it says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I was happy for Joe because his suffering was over. I believe that no matter how well you knew him, you never knew how much he suffered. He never complained and he never said why me?

Joe was prepared to die. I might even say he was looking forward to it. He believed all that our faith teaches us. He knew of God’s promise of victory over death. He knew God promises His people eternal life. I also embrace those beliefs. I thank God for comforting us with the knowledge that he was with the Lord. Of that we had no doubt.

And how have the Promises of God impacted me in the challenges of motherhood?

God has comforted me in my distress, He has helped me with my burdens, He has given me wisdom in my challenge, He has given me strength in my difficulties and He has provided me with peace regardless of the troubles I faced. Are you kidding me, I have learned to trust God with everything.

I hope I was able to convey what I wanted to get across. I talked a lot about Joe but, it wasn't about him, it was about me.

I am transformed because God used my son to open my eyes to authentic faith and how to get it. I am covered in God's grace like hot fudge on ice cream. I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I am a new creation. If you've known me for any length of time, I don't look any different but, if you could see what the potter has done with the clay that was my heart and soul, you would behold a beautiful sight.

I am a happy mother today, I am the mother of six fantastic, special, wonderful children and I am a child of God. Could anyone be more blessed then that?

To read more about PJoe, click here. 

The Gift

On my desk when I returned from lunch I discovered a gay yellow wrapped gift with luscious chocolate truffles inside. What is this, I wondered? Lori, the VP of Management, gave me a gift for Administrative Assistant’s week. This sweet gesture was unexpected and certainly undeserved from my perspective, as I support another executive.

Aren’t those the best gifts? The ones we don’t expect and don’t deserve?

Peter tells us: His divine power has freely given to us everything we need for a life of godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called use by His own glory and might by means of which He has freely given to us His precious and splendid promises, so that through them you may escape the corruption that is in the world caused by sinful desire and become partakers of the divine nature. (2 Peter 2:3-4).   

God gives us everything we need, not just for a plain old ordinary life, but to live a life like Jesus did: a god-like, glorious life. We are welcome at Jesus’ table to partake in His nature. I love that word, “partake” like we get to be on His team, be invited to His party. 

This is what God has given to us when we believe in His Son Jesus. The Holy Spirit is freely given to us. It is unexpected and undeserved. It is extravagant and exhaustive. It is everything we need.

And what do we do with such a gift? As for the truffles, I opened them and ate them, of course! Later, I shared some with some of the other women in the office.

Some gifts end up in the back of a closet, or even in the garbage. We lose them, break them, re-gift them.

Like all gifts, God’s Holy Spirit is meant to be used and enjoyed. The Christian life is about just plain ordinary people tapping into the extraordinary power of God. Ordinary people like me. Like you. We don’t try harder to live a godly life. We merely grow closer to God, by staying in relationship with Him by prayer, reading His Word, meeting and worshipping together, serving others together. As we stay close to God, He transforms us.

God wants to transform you too. Have you stayed close enough to Him to let Him? Have you opened your gift?

More on opening your gift, click here.

Read what Peter said yourself: 2 Peter 1:1-11

The True Grace of God

What is the grace of God anyway?

Growing up, I associated “grace” with Mary, the mother of Jesus. “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women...” The repeated prayer convinced me grace was something extraordinary Mary had. She was favored by God, unique, perfect, something I could never live up to.

Later I discovered the Bible revealed Mary was surprised and afraid when the angel Gabriel came to her and announced she would give birth to the Messiah. It was Mary’s cousin Elizabeth who greeted her with those words when she went to visit her for understanding and comfort. While Mary was a good woman of great faith, she was not chosen because she was flawless.

When we accept Jesus as our Savior we all receive this blessing called the “grace of God.” It is a free gift. Like Mary, none of us receive it because we deserve anything from God. Grace is “the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.” I found this definition on Google just now, so it must be true, right?

Peter gives us a more complete definition of grace.

Peter’s purpose for writing is reveals in this last chapter: I have written to you briefly, encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God. God’s grace is not merely a free gift to us. It is a gift we receive to give to others. Throughout the book Peter explains how to use grace:

• Have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22)
• Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. (1 Peter 2:17)
• All of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing (1: Peter 3:8-9)
• Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
• Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)
• Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. (1 Peter 4:10)
• Those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1 Peter 4:19)

This is not easy. Therefore Peter reminds us to be diligent and watchful. Be alert and of sober mind, he repeats three times (see 1 Peter 1:13, 4:7, 5:8). As we continue to pay attention and grow in our faith, the Lord will empower us to use the gift of grace He gave us for others. When we stay close to Jesus as we walk through life, the fruit of love will bloom.

Saturday’s sunshine enticed hundreds of people to walk, bike, and lounge under the blossoming trees in Branch Brook Park. The trees were graced with gorgeous flowers, but not for the trees. Everyone nearby enjoyed the beauty. So it should be with our lives. God gives grace to us and surely we are blessed, joyful, to be envied. But it’s not for merely for us. Everyone nearby should enjoy the beauty of God’s grace manifested in our lives.

This is the true grace of God.

If they do not believe

1 Peter Chapters 2 and 3

How do you draw an unbelieving husband towards faith?

This is a question heavy on my heart, not only because it is an issue for many of my friends, but also because it was my concern for years. I came to faith and then waited 18 years for my husband to make a commitment to Christ. During that time, I read and re-read these words from Peter as if he had written them especially for me.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Note Peter does not recommend a straight-on Evangelical technique. He does not urge wives to share the four spiritual laws or the ABC’s of faith. Peter does not tell us to sign our husbands up for ALPHA or some other spiritual activity. I tried all those things with my husband Al with no immediate success. No, Peter’s advice is to love our husbands by submitting to them.

As we continue to read his letter, Peter is consistent, no matter who he is talking to:

• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives (1 Peter 3:7)
• Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters (1 Peter 2:18)
• Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors (1 Peter 2:13-14)
• Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil … repay evil with blessing (1 Peter 3:9)

Submit - be considerate - repay even evil with blessing. Why would Peter say that? What about when the husband is dead wrong? When he is doing something clearly hurtful to his wife or to his children? Surely we are to speak up then? He’s the one who’s the unbeliever! Hello?

No offense, ok, but why are we convinced we are always the one in the right and they are the one who needs to change? Honestly, I am talking to myself here as well. Why can’t we allow them to make their own choices (which they will anyway!) and choose to do right ourselves, no matter what they are doing?

Let me repeat: our response is our responsibility. Are there ways we can serve our man with integrity? Are there areas where we can defer to them and say “I don’t want to but because you want to, I will”? Can we put his needs before our needs? Can we forgive the hurts? Can we consider how he must feel? Can we stop judging him, repeatedly pointing where he is wrong?

Peter pulls out the trump card with the example of Jesus’ life.

Photo by Caroline Pierce

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps... When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

Jesus was able to submit to the cross because He trusted God the Father to vindicate Him.

• He did not trust His disciples to stand by Him – they did not.
• He did not trust the religious leaders to give Him a fair trial – they did not.
• He did not trust the Roman governor to see through the schemes of the Jewish leaders and release Him because He was innocent – he did not.
• He did not trust the Roman soldiers to be gentle with Him because He was not rude to them – they did not.

EVERYONE did wrong to Jesus, and not just a little wrong. They betrayed Him, beat Him, spit on Him, mocked Him, and nailed Him to a tree.

Jesus submitted because He trusted God.

Peter invites us to do that too.

Sure, if there are people being hurt, there need to be boundaries. And sure, we are to use words to share the gospel…

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

Love people by serving them with humbleness and kindness. Trust God because He’s got this. That is the bottom line. I think this works with not only husbands but also teens, co-workers, neighbors, and extended family members.

“He himself bore our sins” in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness… the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer…

How do we die to sin and live for righteousness? Submit to others. Even our husbands. Even when they can’t be trusted. Because we can trust God.

For how it turned out for me and my husband, click here.