Pick a Side?

As I sat at the hair salon waiting for my stylist, I was reading updates from a friend who lives in Israel telling us about the recent bombings there. So I mentioned to my stylist, “Did you hear about the bombings in Israel?” I had recently noticed how the media has been not reported much about the news in Israel that I had heard from my friend.

To my surprise, she said, “Yes, of course, I am Palestinian.” She went on to tell me about her experience when she visited her family in Palestine, how she and her family were treated by the Israeli army.

And as I remained silent, carefully listening to her story, I reflected on how you can be for one side of an issue until you are face to face with the other side.

“It is by the prince of demons that He drives out demons,” the Pharisees insisted of Jesus as the crowds marveled at His raising the dead, healing the sick and casting out demons (Matthew 9:34).

The Pharisees were the strictest and most religious of the Jews. As leaders of the people of God they memorized the Torah and followed it scrupulously. Yet here they were, face to face with God in the flesh, and they refused to recognize Him. They heard His wisdom taught, they saw His power displayed but they call Him the devil. How did that happen?

Not listening. Not patiently seeking to know and to understand. Not being open to other’s ideas, their pain, sorrow, joy. Being so sure of the truth you know that you are blind to the truth you have yet to see.

Jesus was not trying to get them to reject their God but to see Him more clearly. He was not asking them to reject their truth but to know more truth and to live the truth more fully from their hearts.

“Blind guides,” Jesus calls them, and “if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” (Matthew 15:14)

Beloved, I know I must hold onto Your truth. But Your truth is all are loved, on both sides. Your sacrifice and Your desire to save is for all. Let me show Your love always by patiently listening, by allowing myself to get affected by the pain, sorrow and joy of all who I meet face to face. My assignment from You is not to pick a side, but to show Your love to both sides.

Because I can be confident that in the end, You are victorious, I can bring Your kingdom, Your will on earth by fearlessly loving all who You bring to me, no matter what side they are on.

Settle it in Your Hearts

Walks on the beach can be lost
when I worry about what
I cannot control!

When you think about those whom you love and ponder their lack of faith in God, do you have conversations in your head with them? I do. I find myself doing this is in the car as I drive to work or when I take a stroll on the beach alone. I devise perfect arguments that go perfectly fine, in my mind of course. I confess I spend a lot of time doing this. And then to my great surprise, in real life it never works out the way I thought.

Today I found this verse and it sprang up from the page of my Bible. Jesus is speaking to His beloved disciples, preparing them for when He would leave the Kingdom cause to them. He told them what they should do and it pierced my heart. Then, Beloved, You spoke to me between the lines…

Therefore [in the end times, such as ours when people fail to believe in God and even rise up against God and the godly] settle it in your hearts [plan ahead, promise to yourself, fully trusting in God and not in your own skills, talents, devices] not to meditate [talk to yourself, plan, plot, scheme and devise methods] beforehand on what you will answer [how to convince the godless that God is good or even that God exists, let alone that He loves us and came to save us];

For I [God Almighty of the universe, loving and powerful creator of all things, knowing exactly what to say because I alone know the minds of My children] will give [I promise therefore you can utterly depend on it] you [yes, you, My beloved child, I will entrust you with My sacred mission] a mouth and a wisdom [My perfect wisdom, not your imperfect thoughts] which all your adversaries will not be able [they will try but they will certainly fail!] to contradict or resist or withstand.

Beloved, I repent! Help me to do this, prepare not by worry and create my own arguments, but by nurturing my own soul through Your Word, giving myself, my whole self, more to You in prayer. Let me allow You to demonstrate Your power and faithfulness by waiting for You to give me Your words. And then let me trust You with the results.

Therefore settle it in your hearts not to meditate beforehand on what you will answer; for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist. -- Luke 21:14-15 (NKJV)

You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life. -- Luke 21:16-19 NIV

Town of Sorrow

Most Bible readers are familiar with the story of Abraham who called by God out of his father’s country to journey to Canaan, the Promised Land. However, hidden in the genealogy of Genesis 11, is the story of his father, Terah, who had already brought Abraham (Abram) halfway.

This is the account of Terah’s family line.

Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran. And Haran became the father of Lot. While his father Terah was still alive, Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, in the land of his birth… Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan.

It was Terah who had started the journey to Canaan but he never made it. Why?

But when they came to Haran, they settled there. Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Haran. (Genesis 11:27-32)

Back in biblical times, people lived for hundreds of years. Terah was the first recorded parent who lost a child. Although I have never experienced this, it is said to be the most devastating thing a person can experience. In this case Terah lived for decades after the loss of his son, he even managed to start his journey. But he settled in a place named after his son and never moved. He was half way there, and then stopped, never completing his journey.

The Bible tells us a few simple facts and we are left to wonder. What convinced Terah to start his journey? Why did Terah settle half way there? What led him to stop? Did he give up? Did he find a town named after his son and his grief hit him afresh and was unable to move on? Did he name the town after his son because he was unable to move on?

The thing about a town of sorrow is this:
It's dry, dusty, lonely, and dead

Terah got stuck and settled in his town of sorrow.

Isn’t this what we are tempted do? Surely grief takes time to heal. Some griefs are so deep that they leave a mark that never fades. But God does not want us to get stuck in our sorrow. God knows and understands. He was there weeping with us when our loved one died. Or maybe it was a dream that was lost, or a relationship that could not be reconciled. Maybe foolish choices cost you years of your life. Or maybe you have been profoundly wounded by someone else's evil or a seemingly random event. Whatever it is, it is sad, we need to mourn the loss. We need to feel it and allow ourselves time to heal.

Losses can change our heart for the better as well. It can deepen our empathy, recalibrate our values, strengthen our resolve, come to terms with our limitations, or recognize our sin. Loss can motivate us to do great good. Sorrow can slow us down, it can deepen our joy and it can expand our gratitude for our Savior.

But let’s not decide to stop our journey and live the rest of our lives in our town of sorrow. Let’s rest a while, catch our breath, but let’s not settle there until we die. The Lord has other plans for us and that’s why we are still here.

We should take what we learned from the sorrow. It happened. It mattered. It was important, life changing even. But it can be life changing in a positive way when we continue the journey.

Let’s go follow Him. Let’s find our future, continue our path. It is never too late to follow Him.

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. (Genesis 12:4)

Father, help me be like Abram and Lot, never afraid, never too wrapped up in my sorrow to follow You. Thank You for reminding me that I am never too old to be called by You. You are my future and my hope!

Cunning

When I was a teen and young adult, I remember my mom telling me what to do – my clothes, my hair, my boy friends, my house, my children. It was so annoying. Why couldn’t she just trust me to make the right decisions? Now I have adult daughters and I understand. Loving mothers always have a better plan for their children’s lives. Or at least that’s what they are thinking.

It is the same with our men. Now that my husband is retired, I have plans for him. He won’t cooperate, as usual.

How can I get him to change? How can I get her to see this is wrong? This is the question I ask myself but it is the wrong question.

Then I read Genesis and I noticed the first sin was about a snake trying to get Eve to do what he wanted.

Genesis is a book of voices. The first voice was God as He spoke the universe into existence and commanded Adam to eat the fruit of every tree but one. The next voice was Adam as he sung a song of delight over his new bride.

Then we hear the voice of Satan, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1)

Satan was lying when he told Eve “your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:5) After the eating the fruit, Adam and Eve thought they knew good from evil. They noticed they were naked and covered themselves from each other and hid themselves from God.

God never told them to be naked was evil. Maybe eventually God would have told Adam and Eve to clothe themselves. But while they were alone and with God, they could be naked and unashamed, and it was still good. God not only knows WHAT is good and evil, He know WHEN something is good and WHEN something is evil. The notion that sex is evil, it is not true. God’s first instruction to them to them was “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth.” (Genesis 1:28) Sex inside their relationship was good. He commanded them to engage in it often to fill the earth. It was our misguided minds that determined sex is always evil or always good.

The result of the fall was we decided we knew what was good and evil. The truth is we don’t know good from evil and history demonstrates this. Any study of history will reveal humans left on their own are bent towards evil. Moreover, they justify it as good.

We cannot understand these things apart from God’s daily direct instruction. Eating from the tree gained nothing but the revelation that we are foolish creatures not to be trusted to be left alone with temptation for a moment. Like two year olds, we must be constantly watched and guided. Maybe that is why Revelation reveals Heaven as being lit by the constant light of God Himself, where there is no darkness, no night. (Revelation 21:22-25) Perhaps that is the only way we can know and follow truth.

Even as mothers, as women who love their family and friends, we must remember we cannot know good from evil for others. We must remember God works even evil to great and glorious good! We see in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:3-6) women whose lives are stained with sin yet their sons are in the lineage of Christ. We find Tamar, a widow who tricked her father-in-law into having sex with her (Genesis 38). We find Rahab the prostitute. And Bathsheba the wife of Uriah who had a child by King David.

How do I know what is right for the people I love? How can I tell if my way is leading them to a better life? I cannot. Instead I must pray – fill their heart with the Holy Spirit, change their heart of stone to a heart of flesh; convict them of sin and of God’s truth.

Helping people is not about my getting them to change their minds or behavior. It is pointing them to God. Only God knows what is right.

The first sin was about a cunning snake trying to get someone else to do what he wanted. Don’t be a snake.

Even as I lie awake on my bed, Father, I listen to my worried thoughts, and they are about others I feel should change. Father forgive me! I have been a snake! Help me to catch every wayward desire for others and cast it at the foot of Your cross, knowing You alone know good. I can trust You with everyone and everything I love. You know best and bring even wrong to good with Your mercy, power and grace, in Your perfect time.

Confrontation vs. Retaliation

What is the difference between retaliation and confrontation?

Retaliation is about getting back at someone because they have hurt you. In the Jewish Law, in order to keep law and order between the families and tribes, limits were set for retaliation. Exodus 21:23-25, God instructs His people, “If there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.” The point was God was teaching the concept of justice, not to be too harsh but to allow for our desire for fairness. He was protecting us from the way human anger naturally devolves into “the Chicago Way” -- “They pull a knife, you pull a gun. They sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue.” (The Untouchables)

God also urge His people to take into account intent in earlier verses 12-14, “Anyone who strikes a person with a fatal blow is to be put to death. However, if it is not done intentionally, but God lets it happen, they are to flee to a place I will designate. But if anyone schemes and kills someone deliberately, that person is to be taken from my altar and put to death.”

However even this is not enough for Jesus who is God’s expression of perfect love. Jesus taught retaliation was not an option in His kingdom. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” (Matthew 5:38-40)

The question then becomes—do I become a doormat? Do I allow people to hurt me and say nothing? Do we allow evil to run unchecked?

The answer: choose to confront, not retaliate. We confront with intent to restore the relationship, to make peace. We enforce personal boundaries with kindness. We respectfully express our point of view. We say no and add thank you. We rebuke someone’s dangerous or hurtful behavior with empathy and tenderness. We confront lovingly and directly, face to face.

Jesus demonstrates confrontation with evil (Mark 1:23-26), with religious hypocrites (Matthew 23:13-35), with His own disciples (Mark 8:33), with personal sin John 8:11). He did not shy away from confrontation, but also did not retaliate (Matthew 26:52-53, Luke 23:34).

Like spring flowers,
relationships need tenderness
to bloom and grow

Practicing confrontation in this manner takes courage and self-control. It requires prayer because only the Holy Spirit can give us what it takes to love someone who has hurt you. Only the love of Jesus can change the heart of someone determined to make unwise, dangerous choices. Only self-reflection and humility can prepare us to confront others because our hearts are also selfish and corrupt.

Although this is the more difficult path, it is the only way for relationships to grow and stay healthy. Retaliation kills relationships. Lack of confrontation allows us to stay hurt which will eventually kill the relationship as well.

We must accept that sometimes our confrontation will not produce the results we desire. We can choose to confront, but others too have free choice and may not react as we hope even when we have been kind, respectful, and loving. Sometimes relationships can be restored but not always. We must put our trust in Jesus always who promised, “Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the daughters of God!” (Matthew 5:9, AMP)

Jesus, it is easy to type but so difficult to do in the moment. Help me to confront when necessary and always with kindness and respect. Make me an instrument of Your peace!

The Cause of Quarrels

Conflict. It’s been with us since the dawn of time…

“The woman You put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” – Cain, Genesis 4:9

“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” – Brothers of Joseph, Genesis 37:19-20

Anger is a feeling that is neither good nor bad. It is not sin. However, anger can lead us to sin when we use the strength of our anger to beat others down and push them to change according to our will. Angry mean-spirited words wound and hurt others. They cause defensiveness and angry responses. They escalate the situation.

Jesus got angry but He didn’t use His anger in that way. He presented His case gently, tenderly and respectfully. He asked questions. He was invitational. He allowed people to make up their own mind and make their own choices, even if it was against His ways. Even though He is always right.

Anger is a feeling that comes to all of us. It can lead us to sin or we can use it as a sign, a kind of diagnostic tool to help us evaluate our situation. Maybe we need to have a conversation with another person to express how we feel. Maybe we need to draw boundaries. Maybe we need to flee from a hostile or dangerous situation. Maybe we need to get help. Or we can yell, scream, hit others or walk out in a huff. It’s our choice.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” – Matthew 18:15-16

Jesus gave us a clear method for resolving conflict:

Talk to the person we are having the conflict with first. Not our girl friend, our sister, our mom or co-worker. Bringing a third person into the conflict first is seldom wise because often we are not looking for resolution—we are looking for validation. We hope our friend will agree with us and say the other person is wrong and we are right. This is called “triangulation” because we are creating a triangle when we bring someone else into the conflict. Especially when all in the triangle have relationships, it creates more conflict not less. When I tell my mother about the fight I had with my husband, what happens is I make up with my husband but my mother will still be upset. It is harder to just take it to the person we are having the conflict with, but no other two people can resolve it.

For me, I struggle with the conversation I have in my head. I discuss the matter with them in my head having both sides of the conversation—mine and theirs! When the conversation does not go well, I am still angry but then I never have the conversation out loud. You can see how this is faulty logic, right? The truth is we can never accurately predict how the conversation will go! We can pray and trust God. We can be open to having our minds changed. We can at least get our feelings out in the open. It is always best to talk it out.

Jesus urges us to settle matters with our adversary quickly. How do we do that? We must be tenderhearted, kind, and respectful. We must not only state how we feel and what we think, we must ask questions. We must be interested in how they feel, what they are thinking. We must be sympathetic and assume the best, not the worst. We must remain hopeful—not merely in them, but in the ability of God to changes hearts and work all things together for good.

Sometimes talking to the person we have the conflict with does not work and there are still concerns that need to be resolved. That’s when we need to bring another person in to help and talk to both parties. Bringing a wise trusted friend or counselor into the situation could add the light of Christ to it. What is said when two people are alone or at the kitchen table in front of only the children might sound different when said in front of someone else. A third person cannot resolve our conflict but they can ask questions we might not have considered, help us think through our feelings, and help us better understand each other. They may be able to come up with acceptable alternate resolutions we cannot see because we are embroiled in our emotions.

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. – James 4:1-3

Sometimes we are angry because we are selfish. That’s what James is talking about. I want what I want and when you get in my way, well then I am angry and I am angry with YOU!

It is easy to see how this can sabotage a relationship. Sometimes we must choose between what we want and the health of our relationships. Jesus holds us to a high standard, especially in marriage. His law of love tells us we can’t just walk away when we can’t have our way. Indeed, we are called to submit in humility, to value the other’s needs as higher than our own.

In the light of James’ wisdom, let us closely examine what we want and clearly define it.

1. What do we want exactly? Why do we want it?
2. How does what we want align with God’s Word? Does it clearly agree? Is it a little bit shady?
3. Does our desire reveal a character flaw? Pride? Greed? Envy? Ambition for fame or power? Comfort? Fear?
4. Is our desire for someone else? Are we trying to control someone else’s life? Remember Jesus taught and invited but never controlled others even though He was always right!
5. Could we be patient and trust maybe God has a better timing? Maybe God has an even better idea?
6. Can we be open handed with our desire? Could we submit to the other person out of our love for them and our desire to be more like Jesus?

Our culture teaches us to look to our husbands, our children, our parents, our boss, our friends to provide us with love, acceptance, emotional support, financial assistance, etc. What if instead we saw ourselves as ministers to them? What if we chose to offer them unconditional love, kindness, encouragement, and respect? What we if we pause and remember we are instruments of Christ’s love in the world?

Jesus desires us to have peace. Peace with God, already settled by His blood, and also peace with each other. As we follow the Prince of Peace and trust in His truth and love, we will find peace.

Beloved Jesus, may everyone who hears these words be encouraged and strengthened to follow Your perfect teaching and find peace. May it begin with me.

Living Life Well

This year my Mom turned 90 years old. Certainly this is a gift from God. No amount of clean living and vitamin supplements can guarantee you to live to 90. But if you are going to live that long, Mom is showing us how it is done.

I remember many people warning me, “don’t get old” but not Mom. Oh she has some health struggles and aches and pains but she never lets them get in the way of real life. She is always going to meetings, luncheons and trips with the several clubs she belongs to. She recently joined the chorus. She is constantly redecorating her home. Recently while she was planning her next decorating project, Frank said to me, “When is she going to stop? She acts like she is going to live forever.”

And I replied, “So far, it’s working for her,” and it is.

A few years back we discussed when a woman should let her hair go gray, as both of us have hair as white as snow. I asked when she would let her hair go gray, at age 80? Or at age 90? At the time she said 90 but I guess not. 

   

Yes, I am inspired by Mom’s example. She is going to color her hair, apply her makeup, slip on her high heeled shoes, wear her red dress, attend every party and eat the dessert until Jesus calls her home.  

But even better than her outside beauty and vitality, is what is on the inside of Mom, in her heart. With Mom, we were always confidant of her love. It was never because of what I accomplished, whether I agreed with her or not, or if I was being naughty or nice. Mom loved me because that was her way. She loved us because love came naturally to her. She forgave us because that was what love demanded.

Our pastor recently talked about raising children and how we have them for only 18 years. Mom would disagree. Mom said once you are a mother, you are always a mother and never stop teaching, encouraging, giving to and serving your children. And that’s what Mom did for her children, grandchildren, and now great grandchildren. Her one regret is not having more of them to lavish her love on.

Thank you, Mom for showing me how to live and love life to the fullest. May Jesus help me to be just like you when I grow up.

The Babe, the God-Hero

Christmas Morning.

My life totally changed 31 years ago. I woke up that Christmas morning and the nurses brought me a beautiful baby with a red cap in a large Christmas stocking.

And then six months later, You came, Beloved and invited me into Your love. You change everything.

2000+ years ago You came in the dark of night, to a far-away land, hidden and yet in plain sight. Humble, poor and helpless, yet mighty and glorified.

A Babe lying in a manger.

But You would not stay hidden, You would come out of hiding to heal and teach and serve. You would die for us and be raised because death could not hold You. You brought peace and yet also a battle that still rages.

You are invisible again, except through us, we must proclaim You.

Christ is the Lord! Oh praise His Name forever!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!

We must not give up our hope in You to heal us, our family, our nation, our world. You will continue to build Your gathering of followers and the gates of hell will not prevail against us!

You will prevail, our Jesus, God-Hero, Prince of Peace!

Give us courage to continue to praise and proclaim Your Holy Name, Your Kingdom, Your Peace! 

Asleep on the hay

Precious Baby Maya and Gio 

Away in a manger, no crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head
The stars in the sky look down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay

You left Glory to be lain in a pile of hay. You trusted a poor teenage girl and a young man to carry You, feed You, bathe You, care for You in every way.

You could have came to us in any way You wanted but Your choice was to become a poor helpless baby born before indoor plumbing, air conditioning, and cell phones.

You were God. More powerful than a hurricane. Wiser than anyone who ever lived. Holy and perfect in every way. Yet You laid it all down, left it behind and trusted Mary and Joseph, knowing they were frail and flawed.

You are more precious than the thousands of dollars I carried clutching in my pocketbook last week to pay cash for the car repair. More precious than the big party I fretted over as the last guests called requiring the altering of my carefully crafted seating plan. More precious than the millionaire houses that burnt in the recent raging fires. More precious even than the sweet sick friends I am praying for, although they are so very precious to me.

So precious, Holy God, Savior of the whole world and yet You trusted Your very life to them. You entrust Your gospel to us.

Why can’t we trust You then, dear Beloved? You showed us how to trust. Let me remember You did it first, You did it for us. You trusted us when You knew we could not be trusted.

Let me trust You because we know we can.

And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7)

The Road to Our Peace

Written by dear sister-in-the-Lord Ekko Luo, the day after our Liquid Church Group.
She often send us inspiring messages, this one was a must-keeper!

What is peace?

Racial, economical, political conflicts divide our nation. All sorts of illnesses, violence, prejudice, and loneliness plague our society. Unmet expectation, future uncertainty, money and health concerns, broken down communication, chores calling for attention occupy our homes and our minds.

What is peace in the midst of it?

I was driving home late last night from Women's Group. The gas tank indicator was very close to empty. But the dash board said I had another 75 miles on the tank. My house is 60 miles away. I didn’t want to stop at any gas station. First, it’s late, I was tired. Just wanted to make it home. Secondly, It’s my husband’s car. He is particular on what gas to put into the tank.

For the entire journey, I was split between believing the dash board, which showed I had enough gas to make it home; and the gas tank indicator, which was pointing to empty. I had no peace, right after attending a meeting about peace. I couldn’t concentrate on driving, couldn’t redeem my commute time mentally, and I started to let all kinds of thoughts getting into my mind.

Half way through, I stopped to get gas. Wow, that feeling of relief!! Knowing you have a full tank of gas to go anywhere within 300 miles!

The road to peace often has a fork,
will we choose His way or ours?

All of sudden I realized, that is PEACE. Even if my gas tank indicator and dash board both malfunction and warn me of no gas, but I know that I just had gas put in and I can go anywhere I want!

In our journey, if the gas in our tank is Jesus, then we have peace. And we can go places!

We can go anywhere we want, or we can go anywhere He wants!

And we know if we head to the place He wants us to go, He will continuously fill our tank and we will have peace and strength.

But, if we insist to go where we want to go, we may find ourselves in situations where we are out of gas: lack of peace, nothing works, everything irritates and upsets.

When we are filled with Jesus, His way, His truth, and His hope, we are muscled up to do good, to go places.

How do we get this peace? Charge it through prayers, His Word, godly gatherings, lots of practice on putting aside our fleshly self, and do and say what Jesus says it’s good, and lifting up our problems and our society’s problems to God, and trusting He will work all things together for the good of those who love God.

Praying for you and myself to welcome this November with increased peace and go on our life with full tank of Jesus.


The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. (Psalm 29:11)

I am His

Jesus' creation is beautiful
and He came for me!!

Jesus....
He made all things
He upholds all things
He is heir to all things
All things express His glory.
He is superior to the angels
So much better than we can ever imagine
Jesus. He is God.

And Jesus, the God of the universe, King of kings and Lord of Lords
Came down
Became flesh
Humbled Himself to be a baby, born of a women
Took all of our sins
Past present and future
Onto His own body, His perfect body
He allowed Himself to be
Mocked
Whipped
Nailed to a tree
So that all justice could be upheld
And by His mercy we could be freed, sinless, adopted as children of God.

He came to save us but because love must be free, we get to choose.
Yes or no.

What will you say to Jesus?

Will you side with His party? Or will you turn away to side with your own?

As for me....
I am not republican or democrat.
I am not liberal or conservative.
I am not right or left.
I am not pro "this' or anti "that"

I am His. I belong to Jesus. He paid the price for me not to be a slave to anything or anyone, but for me to be free.

What He said is truth. His truth is the real and only truth.
What He commands us is good. Good for us, good for all.

I said YES,

What will you say?

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He appointed the heir of all things, through whom also He created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature, and He upholds the universe by the word of his power. 

After making purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name He has inherited is more excellent than theirs. 

(Hebrews 1:1-4 ESV)

Beans and Veggies and Open Hearts

But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine. (Daniel 1:8)

Daniel was far from home, taken captive by a powerful king, to be assimilated so Daniel could be of service in his kingdom. Daniel was a young man in a desperate situation with a choice to make. Would he hold onto the spiritual roots of his conquered county or would he conform to make the best of the evil nation that was his new home?

Daniel resolved but he did not rebel. He only spoke up and made a request. But the Lord gave him favor with his captors. And thus the name of the fast, the Daniel Fast. For 40 days, our church has called a fast.

As I reflect on Daniel's plight, aren't we presented with the same choice? As followers of Christ, we find ourselves in a nation filled with evil, children killing children, relative morality, selfish pleasures, pervasive drug use, divisive politics. Even social media platforms, where friends should meet, are contentious and filled with hateful dialog. How can we resolve to not defile ourselves? How can we not conform but be agents of change for good and God's glory? How can we help God's kingdom come to to this evil world that is our home?

And can we do that by eating beans and veggies for 40 days? Seriously?

I guess that is the point. We can't do it at all. Only God can. So we humble ourselves to fast and pray.

As I considered the purpose of my fast, my mind went immediately to my lack of self control. But You, my Beloved Jesus, want me to focus on Your heart and to depend on You for control. I want a stronger relationship with You, but You want to connect even more than I do. I want a spiritual renewal for my daughters and extended family. You, Lord, want a spiritual renewal for me. 

In our culture, we avoid hurt and even discomfort at all cost. As I prepare for the fast I feel Jesus saying to me: I died for you, an emotionally and physically excruciating death so that you would not have to die. Are you willing to turn away from what your sinful culture says is good and satisfying and life-giving so you can see that I am good, I am satisfying, and I am life-giving? Are you willing to be uncomfortable and even hurt in order to be closer to Me and to become the woman I always intended you to be?

Yes! Yes! And so I will be eating beans and veggies. I will pray. I will open my heart. Because God is good, Jesus is satisfying, the Holy Spirit is life-giving. As we allow God to change our hearts, one by one by one, He can change the world.

Are you with me?

#FAST40 Black Bean Soup

• In a large pot, saute 2 chopped onions in olive oil. 
• Add 2 chopped red peppers, 2 chopped stalks of celery and 4-5 peeled and cut carrots. 
• Saute and stir often until the veggies start to wilt. 
• Push veggies to the side and make a well in the middle of the pot, add more oil if needed.
• Add 2 cloves of chopped garlic to the center of the pan. Cook about a minute then stir to blend. 
• Season with Goya Adobo (or salt is fine), pepper, and cumin (a scant teaspoon)
• Stir well.
• Add 3 cans of black beans and their liquid plus a half can of water.
• Add 8 oz tomato sauce.
• Stir and cook about half hour.
• Taste and correct the seasoning. 
• Serve alone or with brown rice. 

Listen

There are some who suggest instead of New Years resolutions, to pick one word for the new year. This year the word came on me like a flood and  I can't turn away from it. It has grabbed a hold of me.

The word for 2018 is listen.

Listening is something I struggle to do. Instead I am all about trying to convince others my way is right. And after all I am very busy working and driving and scrolling and swiping and eating and cooking and cleaning and exercising and writing emails and letters and tweets and texts. And snapchatting, of course, don't forget that.

But listening? No. Not to you. As if to listen to you, to really hear, would be to open the door to discover that I may not be right. I might have to consider your point of view. My heart may be expanded to see your heart, to understand your story, to empathize with your plight.

And that is exactly what I need to be doing. Hearing you. Listening not just to figure out where you are wrong and how to make my point and where to straighten you out, but just to connect, to relate, to enter your world. To incarnate.

Love that word. Incarnate. That's exactly what Jesus did. He wanted to listen to us, but in order to do that, He had to risk. He had to leave paradise. He had to suffer our world, our flaws, our cold and heat, our danger and hunger and pain. He wanted to touch us, and hear us, and walk in our sandals and hear us in a way to truly understand.

I want to do that. Listen. Embrace the risk to touch another's soul by feeling each pain, crying each tear, carrying the weight of your burden. To be open to be wrong, to changing my mind, to giving more grace, to judging less. To be able to confess to each sinful desire, each doubt, each fear expressed by you: me too.

Listening is power. It is like a balm. As Al and I do marriage mentoring, the best gift we give our couples is to listen to them, allow them to speak, help them to know we really care about them: what they think, how they feel, their hopes, dreams, fears and disappointments, all of it. It is like being Christ to them, to enter into their world, allow them to feel valued and loved. And in this, Al and I do learn to love them. I want to do this more, to give this to others and in return, we get so much!

Mom was a interested patient listener

Rose, my dear mother-in-law, spent the last few years of her life without speech. I used to wonder how my brother-in-law Joe managed to live and care for her alone when she never spoke. Now that she has passed, he told me how much he misses her presence. Although she could not speak, he could tell she was listening. And that meant so much to him, even without any feedback from her.

I want to be more like her.

Father, help me to learn to listen better, to desire to listen better, to not rush to hang up the phone, or switch the topic, or get up and do the next thing, but to intently and passionately listen to these others You have given me, be it my family or friends, clients or even strangers. Teach me to listen to them. Teach me to listen to You.

Everyone should be quick to listen... (James 1:19)  

Images of Christmas

What images come to mind when you think of Christmas? Is it holiday decorations in store windows? Brightly wrapped gifts under the tree? Holiday parties with good friends and special foods? Santa surprising children with favorite toys? A babe in a manger, surrounded by sheep and cows, peacefully sleeping?

Although God planned Christmas to bring peace on earth and to demonstrate His good will towards men, as with most efforts towards peace, first there had to be war.

Christmas was God’s rescue mission. He sent His only Son deep into hostile enemy territory. Jesus entered this dangerous world not well armed, but instead totally defenseless, as a newborn baby. At the time of Jesus’ birth Israel was occupied by the Roman army. God could have chosen any era to send His Son, but He chose Galilee 2000+ year ago where there were no conveniences: no internet, no cell phones, no electricity, no cars, no running water even.

Jesus was sent to Mary, a poor unwed teenager, through a miraculous conception at a time when unwed pregnant women had no good choices. Indeed, the Law of Moses states they were to be stoned for their sin. When Mary said yes to Gabriel, she was risking her life and the life of her Son. Although Gabriel appeared to Mary and explained how she would become pregnant, he did not appear to anyone else except Joseph. Who would believe her?

Joseph too risked public shame to take Mary as his wife. People would have thought that either he was the dishonorable man who was the father, or worse, a fool who would accept a woman bearing another man’s child. Either way, in a small village, he faced contempt of his neighbors.

Both traveled a long treacherous journey, on foot, from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary in her last month of pregnancy. Once there, they had no place to go in the crowded city but a barn to provide shelter as she gave birth for the first time, miles away from her home and family. There were no sanitary birthing rooms, no doctors and nurses, no epidurals, no deposable diapers or cute new-baby outfits.

When none of these things deterred the birth of the Christ Child, the enemy ramped up his game. The magi tipped off the birth of the true King of Kings to Jerusalem’s reigning King Herod. Evil Herod, livid in his inability to find the One Child, sent his men of war to kill all the infants and toddlers of Bethlehem. Yet God demonstrated His power to move forward His mission and sent His angel to warn Joseph in time to escape with Mary and Jesus.

Yes Jesus came to bring peace but to do that He entered an evil world. He faced shame, discomfort, and danger. He came defenseless, entrusted to teenage girl and a poor carpenter to protect Him. It is not a nice tale for children. It is an epic drama of rescue mission that ultimately changed the world!

Christmas is the image of a God of such fierce love and overwhelming power that nothing could stop His rescue of His people.

And that’s you and me.

May God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. Jesus gave His life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen. (Galatians 1:3-5)

Read the original Christmas story, click here. 

Conflict Resolution

Disclaimer: This is not my recommended five easy steps to resolve conflict! Not at all. It is a confession followed by what I’ve learned during the Liquid Church LoveComesToTown series…

I am bad at conflict resolution. I begin as a TURTLE. Before an argument gets heated up, I change the subject or I offer excuses (often very lame ones). I toss out the forgive-and-forget cards before their appropriate time, and so the conflict does not resolve, it only gets kicked down the road. If the conflict continues, I lapse into the MOCKING BIRD. I do not directly attack, but I make snide, sarcastic remarks. I complain to my friends. I‘m passive aggressive by attempting to manipulate others and trying to get my way through a workaround. I try to enlist other people with influence to assist me because after all I only want to “help” make the situation right. Finally, as the conflict escalates I become the SKUNK and stink up the place with my harsh words, demands, and idle threats. Yes, I am very bad at conflict resolution!

Jesus, in contrast, was excellent in conflict resolution, as Mark 3:1-6 (GNT) illustrates:

Then Jesus went back to the synagogue, where there was a man who had a paralyzed hand. Some people were there who wanted to accuse Jesus of doing wrong; so they watched him closely to see whether he would cure the man on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man, “Come up here to the front.” Then he asked the people, “What does our Law allow us to do on the Sabbath? To help or to harm? To save someone's life or to destroy it?”

But they did not say a thing. Jesus was angry as he looked around at them, but at the same time he felt sorry for them, because they were so stubborn and wrong. Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and it became well again. So the Pharisees left the synagogue and met at once with some members of Herod's party, and they made plans to kill Jesus.

Jesus was not a TURTLE. He did not avoid this conflict. He initiated it. He knew there was an elephant in the room and refused to step around it. He was not merely concerned with healing the man with the paralyzed hand. He was concerned about the condition of the hearts of the Pharisees, those who wished to accuse Him. Jesus could have avoided the confrontation by healing the man the next day or in private. But He didn’t. He did not try to appease the Pharisees and others who were trying to accuse and destroy Him. He did not fear their reaction or retaliation, even though they were the ones with the political power. He brought them the truth and left the results and their reaction up to them.

Jesus was not a MOCKING BIRD. He did not sink to ridicule or sarcasm.

Jesus was not a SKUNK either. He did not rant or accuse them of wrong-doing. He did not command them to do anything. Although clearly angry, He demonstrated self-control. His remarks were simple and to the point. He asked a succinct question that demonstrated what was in their hearts. In the end, Jesus was the one who did good by healing the man’s hand. The Pharisees did evil by making plans to kill Jesus.

Jesus was angry here, but He did not sin. His motive was pure. He was grieved because of the hard hearts of the Pharisees because they were His people who represented God to the nation of Israel. They were more interested in following their rules than compassion. Jesus demonstrated His love for them because He used the opportunity to show them the truth even though it cost Him.

Jesus was more interested in truth than in the reactions of others. And yet, He was not about proving He was right as much as trying to get them to see the condition of their own hearts.

Paul tells the Ephesians (5:21) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. We think that means we need to be nice to everyone at all times, no matter how they are acting. I think we misread it. I think we need to be led by the Spirit to first to determine what is the loving thing to do or say dependent on the situation and people involved. Paul also told the Thessalonians (5:14) And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Some people need to be warned, others encouraged and helped. Sometimes I need to humble myself and ask for forgiveness! How can I tell the difference? Certainly not by a list of rules.

In order to resolve conflict first I need to gently ask questions and patiently listen to others. Unlike Jesus, I cannot assume what is on anyone's mind unless they tell me.  I must examine my own motives. I need to rely on prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit to discern what God is leading me to do and the courage to do it. Although sometimes, as it did for Jesus, it does not turn out well, I need to follow the Spirit and trust the outcome to God.

Dear Jesus, please help me listen first and turn to You for the discernment and courage I need to resolve conflict in a way that honors You!

it's not Me

Do you have an old sin, the one that was so dog-gone awful you have hid it from everyone? It was long ago and you keep telling God you were wrong and you're sorry but you just can't get any peace. And when the topic comes up or that song comes on you think about it. It haunts you. You get peace for a while but then it's back.

The Lord has sworn by Himself,  

“I will never forget anything they have done...

In that day...they will fall, never to rise again...

I will kill with the sword. Not one will get away, none will escape. 

Though they dig down to the depths below, 

from there My hand will take them. 

Though they climb up to the heavens above, 

from there I will bring them down. 

Though they hide themselves on the top of Carmel, 

there I will hunt them down and seize them.

Though they hide from My eyes at the bottom of the sea, 

there I will command the serpent to bite them. 

Though they are driven into exile by their enemies, 

there I will command the sword to slay them. 

I will keep My eye on them for harm and not for good.” 

(Amos 8:7, 9, 9:1-4)

This was my devotional for today. I had never read this before and it is horrifying. I wondered, does this apply to our nation? Worse, does it apply to my life, my sin, my future? Is there something I need to do, something I must repay to heal my soul and make me free?

Often this is how I feel. I think about my day and mourn over the harsh words, the missed opportunities to do good, the wasted time on frivolous things. Or I think about the past and blame myself for things I had no control over. Surely I should consider my day and repent of sin, but I forget to rest in my Savior and His peace.

Today, Jesus made me stop and hear His heart:

The voices that are reminding you of your sin, it's not Me. It may be Satan the accuser. It may be your unbelief.  But you can be sure it's not Me. 

Those of us who have accepted Jesus and as our Savior and Lord have been forgiven all sin. Past, present and future. He has thrown them away as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Jesus had already completed everything needed for my complete forgiveness. There is nothing left undone, nothing I need to do, it is finished! Reading the rest of the chapter shed light on the true purposes and heart of God.

But all the sinners will die by the sword—

all those who say, ‘Nothing bad will happen to us.’ (Amos 9:10)

God will judge. He will punish those who reject Him, who assume He is powerless or that He does not exist. God loves us but we have the power to choose to trust in Him or not. Those who choose God have a much different future as the last part of the chapter shows. 

“In that day I will restore the fallen house of David.

I will repair its damaged walls.

From the ruins I will rebuild it and restore its former glory.

And Israel will possess what is left of Edom and all the nations I have called to be Mine.”

The Lord has spoken, and He will do these things.

Hoping the house Jesus is building for me has a back yard
looking like this...

“The time will come,” says the Lord,

“when the grain and grapes will grow
faster than they can be harvested.

Then the terraced vineyards on the hills 
of Israel will drip with sweet wine!

I will bring My exiled people of Israel 
back from distant lands,

and they will rebuild their ruined cities 
and live in them again.

They will plant vineyards and gardens; 
they will eat their crops 
and drink their wine.

I will firmly plant them there 
in their own land.

They will never again be uprooted 
from the land I have given them,”

says the Lord your God. 
(Amos 9:10-15)

Thank you Father for reminding me of your faithful forgiveness. All I ever needed to do was to say YES, I am Yours and You are my God. Amen!

Dealing with Your Very Draining People (VDP)

How do you deal with a very draining person? Maybe they are demanding or destructive; or maybe they are merely disappointing or difficult. What is your usual reaction?

Do you bark back in anger? Or do you silently fume? Do you change the subject or cut the phone call short? Or do you try to please and accommodate so they will stop the rampage? Do you try to talk it out and explain your position? Or do you deem the conversation as hopeless and complain to your sister instead?

Maybe your tactic changes depending on the person in front of you. Do you accommodate your boss but later take your pent up emotions out on your kids? Do you vent on your mom but are sweet as pie to your boy friend? Do you have a new friend who you talk things out with but that old friend from high school, well, you know how that discussion will turn out so why bother?

This was our discussion this week at church and also in our small groups. We talked about the people we experienced as draining and our reactions to them. What was the right reaction? For the answers, we searched the gospels and read some of the interactions Jesus had with draining people in John 3:1-21, Matthew 12:1-15 and Luke 14:1-14.

We saw Jesus' reaction to people wasn't a reaction at all. Jesus knew what He was about and He was not deterred by other's questions or actions towards Him.  He spoke to people from the heart about the real issues (John 3:3, Luke 14:7). He used illustrations to help others understand His position (Luke 14:6, Matthew 12:11). There were times when He walked away (Matthew 12:14-15) but that was due to His being obedient to the timing of His Father. It was not intended to avoid conflict. Actually, He invited conflict at times, and used the conflict to point to truth (Luke 12:3).

Jesus listened to the people who came to Him with questions, no matter what their motives were. Jesus knew when their real plan was not to obtain answers but to trap Him. Nevertheless, He did not back away, but answered them directly with truth and used the opportunity to reveal important information regarding the kingdom of heaven (Mark 10:2-9, Matthew 22:16-22, Luke 12:13-21, Luke 15:1-10, Luke 18:18-30).

When the time came for Jesus to face the most destructive people, He prepared Himself with prayer (Luke 22:41-43). He did not do what would come naturally as a human man, but what His Father wanted. He prayed and received not only direction but also supernatural strength.

Why do you react as you do to the draining people in your life? Do you act as your parents modeled or are you doing the exact opposite because of how it worked out for them? Were you hurt or rejected at a prior time of life and swore to yourself never to be hurt like that again? Do you act to avoid conflict and anger because "Christians don't get angry" or do you confront others harshly because "Christians must stand for truth”?

I confess I usually assess the situation and try to use the approach that would work out for the best (read: "for my benefit").

Like the ocean can be raging or calm
depending on the wind,
so we must allow the wind of the Spirit
to control our reactions to others.

Jesus did what He saw the Father doing. Jesus was controlled by the Spirit. Nothing anyone else did controlled or deterred Him. And the really good news is the very same Spirit lives inside of us when we commit our lives to Christ.

I came to the conclusion there is no specific right or wrong way to deal with difficult people. Each person, each situation, each time is different. Sometimes it is best to confront with love. Sometimes it is good to try to understand and be understood. Sometimes it is best to walk away and cool off. Sometime it is good to submit to another's ways. Sometimes it is better to say "this time, I want to decide." Sometimes it is even best to be harsh (Matthew 23:1-36, John 3:13-17). God knows which is best and He desires to tell us, moment by moment as we walk with Him, pray to Him, listen to Him. And we can count on His angels to strengthen us as well so we can do His will.

Sometimes as we obey God we find things don't work out exactly as we would like. That is where faith comes in, when we learn to trust God will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28). We obey God and trust the results to Him.

And of course, we need to ask ourselves (and God) the important question: in this situation, is the draining person ME?

Just saying.

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)

Fire and Floods

Fire and floods
Earthquakes and hurricanes
Mass murderers and maniacs with nuclear missiles

And our reactions is to point fingers at each other
We criticize, we rally, we march, we carry cleverly worded signs
We tear down statues, we tweet and troll
As if anyone is at fault, as if anyone of us could fix this.

We need to fall on our knees
We need to mourn and repent
We need to cry out to the only One who can heal our world in the ancient prayer:

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy and grant us peace.

Perfect

At worship last night, my thoughts were scattered and rambling as I sang out the words to the songs. Even as the music blasted in my ears and the floor shook, I was distracted. Then we sang...

You're a good good Father, it's who You are
And I am loved by You, it's who I am
Because You are perfect in all of Your ways....

And God, as He is always faithful broke through my chaotic mind and He said....

Perfect, only I am perfect. I am the good, good Father, standing at the open doorway, My eye always on you as you romp and play outside. I smile as you dirty your hands, thinking with delight how I will wash you later.

But your deeper sins, as I watch them unfold in your life, My stomach turns, not in revulsion or even disapproval but in sorrow as I truly understand the pain you are causing yourself and others. I understand your weakness, I created you! I have already supplied the solution.

O come to the altar, the Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ  

My eyes never leave you and I long for the time you come home to Me in prayer. I will hold your precious face in My hands and say, My daughter, how much I love you! 

You are My princess but never forget it is I alone who am perfect. In My time, in My power, My Spirit is perfecting you until finally you will be with Me forever in perfect glory. I do not need your works or your service to prove your love for Me. I want your attention. I want to give you My power. Come to Me, I long to give you all you need and also Myself. 

Come, My child. Come. 

Three Easy Steps to a Perfect Marriage

Disclaimer: Ok, the steps are not easy and there are no perfect marriages but these will help a lot!

1.      Pray.  God is invested in your marriage and not only wants it to last forever but designed it to be joy-filled and life-giving. Talk to Him about everything in your marriage through prayer. Pray together, pray alone, pray when you have troubles, when you argue, when you are confused, when you feel lost, when you wake up, before you sleep. Pray without ceasing.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.(Phil 4:6)  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:6)

        

2.      Submit.  To freely give the other spouse the opportunity to have their heart’s desire is an act of love and a sign of strength on your part. It is the true path to life and peace. Submit is what Jesus did constantly when on earth all the way to the cross. He asks us to do it because He did it first. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21)

3.      Believe the Best.  Be generous with your assumptions and your attitude toward your spouse. Believe that they love you, want the best for you, desire the marriage to last, have your best interests at heart, aspire to become more Christ-like even as they fail again and again. It is not so much about trusting them, but trusting Christ in them, the hope of glory. Your attitude towards them will greatly affect your relationship so never assume the worst, but always believe the best. Love…is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:5,7)