Call Out to Jesus

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Silvio passed away on Tuesday in the early morning. The hospital called us and said he was gone. 

Silvio was the youngest of four brothers. I met him when he was a teen, his head full of wild black curls, long as it was the custom in those days. He seemed awkward and shy until he grabbed someone's attention, like my dad who was a patient listener, and then he would talk on and on. 

 

As a boy, Silvio had an anxious heart and so he used repetition and he collected things, ordinary silly things like used cups and paper towels, to calm his heart. He grew more and more anxious until he had to quit high school and was never able to find a job he could handle. He spent his time at home, caring for his father, his mother, and the family pets. He fed stray cats and gave away things to neighbors who would stop by. He was a voracious reader and very smart but his quirky ways and shyness kept him isolated. 

One of the things that gave Silvio comfort was attending mass. It was on a return walk home from church in 2011 that he had a seizure so intense that he was taken to the hospital for the first time. It was a brain tumor. The tumor was removed but Silvio was never able to return home again. His body healed but his mind was confused and his anxious heart made him angry. 

Years went by and because Silvio was in a care center, Al and I actually saw him more. On these visits, we would listen to his complaints, his anxiety, his confused thoughts. We would bring him items he asked for, like notebooks, pens, vitamin C and materials to read. We would joke with him and show him photos of his nieces and nephews. I would take his arm and walk with him through the hallways of the center that was his home. 

And in his small room he would have a bible on his table and a few symbols of his faith. His TV was turned to the catholic channel, allowing him to attend mass from his room.    

Silvio's mind no longer had a good grip on reality. But that did not stop him from calling out, reaching out to Jesus.

The brain tumor never fully went away. It was removed two more times. This week, when symptoms returned, the tumor was too massive and it won. 

I have spent most of my adult life studying the Bible. It is important to me that I know Jesus deeply and understand His words to us accurately, and how He would want me to apply them to my life. I pursue this with passion and a desire to know truth.

But today as I read this passage of the blind man calling out to Jesus, I understand that all Jesus wants is for us to reach out to Him, to call out to Him for our comfort, for our healing, for His forgiveness. And when we turn to Him and call out to Him, He is delighted, He praises our faith, He heals us. 

 

Those who led the way rebuked the blind man and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to Him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” 

 “Lord, I want to see,” he replied. 

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God. (Luke 18:38-43)

Tonight, Silvio is with Jesus. He is standing straight and tall. He is not anxious but at peace and in his right mind. He has his full head of wild black curls. I look forward to meeting him again there, hearing his goofy laugh, walking with him, holding his hand. His faith has healed him. So let us also praise God.  

Engage

Some people are conflict enjoyers. Some are conflict avoiders. I have always been the avoider. I want people to like me. I want my family and friends to all get along. I want to keep the peace, so I make excuses, sidestep the argument, and convince everyone that it is all right. Even when it is not all right. 

But Jesus was not a conflict enjoyer or avoider. He engaged and resolved conflict. He taught: 

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24) 

Our offering to God is less vital to our souls than our relationship with others. So what does He instruct us to do? 

Go and Be Reconciled. 

I don’t want to do this. Not when I am at fault. Not when I am sure they are at fault. Not when they are angry, nor when I am angry. I make all kinds of excuses. They will not listen to me. It’s all their fault. It is past the point of repair. But then I remember Paul’s words, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) 

Jesus is our Peace

What does this mean? I must engage. If I am disturbed listening to other people’s grief, sorrow, disappointment or anger, if I refuse to listen to their side, if I want to fix things too soon for my own comfort, then I have failed to engage, and failed to bring peace. Instead of hiding, avoiding, ignoring, I must engage. Instead of arguing, manipulating, berating, pushing, I must use humility as I engage, listening to understand, assuming the other has good reasons and motives for their position, their beliefs, their actions. 

And it’s hard. It’s listening when it hurts. It’s opening up when I would rather run away. It is trying to empathize when I would rather support my position. It’s having the patience to trust the process, believing Jesus will reveal truth and write His best story as I obey His call to go and be reconciled. 

Engage. That’s my word for 2021. I am not good at it. But I want to get better. Only You, my Beloved Jesus can give me the power. But You have called me and so I must trust You can also empower me. 

For Christ himself has brought peace to us. (Ephesians 2:14)

Year of Suffering

This photo expresses 2020

Does God cause suffering? Or does He just look the other way? Why does He wait so long to stop it? Why do we have to suffer? 

2020 has been a year of suffering. We’re experienced political unrest, disease, racial division, cultural polarization, riots, murder, hurricanes, and wild fires. We’ve lost jobs, businesses, savings, homes, special events, holidays, public figures, close friends and family members. We’ve been isolated, depressed, afraid, angry, and confused. 

As the year drew to a close, there was renewed optimism. We have a vaccine, a new president, a new year. Certainly 2021 will be better. But will it be? Will all the negative aspects of 2020 somehow be trashed along with our old paper calendars? That would be nice! 

Sadly it does not work that way. The troubles of December will creep into January. When will it end? How will it end? 

For the people of Israel wandering in the wilderness from Egypt to the Promised Land, they knew how long their suffering was going to last. God had told them 40 years. That’s a good long time. So it is no wonder they were impatient and frustrated. It was towards the end of their journey that this story is recorded: 

They traveled from Mount Hor along the route to the Red Sea, to go around Edom. But the people grew impatient, depressed, and much discouraged because of the trials on the way; they spoke against God and against Moses, and said, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!” 

Then the Lord sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died. 

For the Israelites things went from bad to worse. In this case we know, because scripture tells us, who caused the suffering. It was God. He sent the snakes. Why was He making a bad thing worse? It is easy to blame God but let’s look again. The reason why the people are wandering 40 years is because in year two, they refused to enter the Promised Land when God led them there the first time (See Numbers 13). Here again they are rebelling against God and against Moses, the leader God has appointed to lead them. This is not the first rebellion. This is repeated theme all through the book of Numbers. So God, reminiscent of our own parents when frustrated with our misbehavior (“You want to cry? I’ll give you something to cry about!”), He intensifies their pain and demonstrated His power. His goal? To have them return to Him. And they do. 

The people came to Moses and said, “We sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray that the Lord will take the snakes away from us.” 

So Moses prayed for the people. The Lord said to Moses, “Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live.” So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze, they lived. The Israelites moved on and camped at Oboth. (Numbers 21:4-10) 

God forgives them immediately when they turn to Him. He also gives them an immediate way out. A snake on a pole. It does not make sense until Jesus Himself references it again in John 4:14-15, and then we see a foreshadowing to eternal healing, eternal salvation, eternal elimination of suffering through Jesus’ death on a cross. Unbelief was their sin. They did not trust that God saw their suffering, that He cared about them, that He was able to sustain them. They did not ask God to help them. They tried to fix it themselves by complaining to Moses. 

Unbelief is the big sin that interrupts God’s power on their behalf. He does not force Himself on anyone; they must turn to Him. Belief was what returned them to health, as they demonstrated their faith by looking at the bronze snake on the pole. Like the Israelites, God desires a relationship with us but He never forces us. We need to participate in the relationship by expectant faith. We must look to Him and trust He can heal us, our bodies, our country. That is our part of the relationship. And God’s part is to show Himself faithful. 

We are not used to suffering because life has been good to us and we are taught by our culture to expect life to be all up and to the right. We believe we alone have the power to make a perfect world. But that is a lie. 2020 has reminded us life is hard, unpredictable, and out of our control. Our efforts to fix our problems often have caused other troubles and made matters worse. Like in this Biblical account, trials come, and they certainly came for us in 2020. 

Like the Israelites, we will get bit. Suffering is part of life we can’t avoid and cannot fix ourselves. But there is hope because Jesus has come. He has been raised up on a pole so that all who look to Him attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze, will be healed. Then we will live and travel on. 

Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in Him.” For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:14-18) 

So did God cause our suffering in 2020? In this life, we may never know. Will God heal our bodies and our nation in 2021? We may not know that quickly either. Let us not forget that none of us make it out of this world alive. While Jesus did heal many when He was with us and He continues to heal to this day, He has a bigger goal than a physical one or than a political one. Jesus has come so we can be reconciled to God, and with that, we can be reconciled to each other. In this way, He brings His Kingdom, and His peace, to our earth. 

We can be sure that when we turn to Jesus in trust, Him will heal our hearts and make a better 2021.

A Covid Christmas

While I was looking for Christmas ornaments online today I found this one. My sentiments exactly: “2020 stink stank stunk!” 

It has happened already. Our family Thanksgiving celebration was impacted by covid. Usually my mother comes to stay at our home and we enjoy an extended weekend together celebrating her birthday as well as Thanksgiving. We often have a good crowd of 15 or so at our table. However since my mom is 92 years old and both our daughters teach young children in person daily, that large of a gathering was too much of a risk. Christmas does not promise to be much better. Isolation, fear, uncertainty has taken a toll on the most wonderful time of the year. 

But like the story of the Grinch, I remember that no illness or hardship or isolation can take away this holy day. Matter of fact, isn't the story of Jesus’ birth really about hardship and isolation? Mary and Joseph had great hardship as they traveled to a place far from their home. Plus Mary was in her final stages of pregnancy. I wonder, did she travel alone with Joseph, isolated from her mother, aunts, sisters and cousins who could have encouraged her, comforted her, directed and helped her as she gave birth for the first time? As her time came, she gave birth in a manger, really it was a cave, surrounded by animals and hay and cow dung. Finally, Mary’s story of giving birth as a virgin was something only believed by Joseph due to the divine intervention of a dream. It was considered “fake news” by many even today. 

The story of the first Christmas reminds us that the coming of Christ is not about decorations and presents. It is not about comfort and parties. It is about hope and light in the darkness. When we recall the truth of His story and we treasure it in our hearts, it is a light that no one and nothing can extinguish. 

Not even covid. 

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this Child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:16-20)

White Privilege

Lately some friends have been talking about feeling guilty of their #WhitePrivilege but I am looking at in a different way.

I want to talk about being blessed by God and so grateful for the mercies He has given me. Instead of being born in Italy where my grandparents grew up, I grew up in America. I was blessed to have a mother and a father who loved me and taught me about God. My father was hard working and encouraged me to work hard. We had everything we needed but not too much. My father loved my mother and his children. All that was a blessing. God continued to bless me with a loving, kind, hardworking, righteous husband and two healthy sweet daughters and a grandson. It was nothing I did. Yes, I was privileged, but I have no guilt. Instead I am thankful to my God for His unmerited favor towards me.

What do I do then? In the light of God’s mercy and kindness to me, how then should I live?

I extend God’s mercy to others. I listen to the woman whose daughter grew up feeling she was a man. I pray for the woman with the husband who is verbally abusive, whose father drank, whose husband has cancer. I care for my family, natural and spiritual. I open my home, feed them, and tell them about Jesus.

But I have been doing that, not because of protests in the street but because of my gratitude to Jesus. I pray God gives me the strength and wisdom to continue. Caring for others is a privilege as well! Those of us who have anything to be grateful for, let us give thanks to God, let us give thanks to each other. Let us pay forward the kindness to others in love.

This guy will be 14 in June. Our goal was to give him all good things.

And let us remember we can hate others not only because of their race. We can hate others because they believe differently, because they dress differently, because they have more or less than we do. There are so many reasons to hate, to stop listening, to be impatient and unkind. Let’s reject ALL the reasons to hate. Let’s side with Jesus' party.


Jesus answered him, If you would be perfect [that is, have that spiritual maturity which accompanies self-sacrificing character], go and sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; and come, be My disciple [side with My party and follow Me]. (Matthew 19:21, Amplified Bible)

Race. Prejudice. Everyone has a story.

Race. Prejudice. Hatred. Fear. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

This is my story. It does not start well, and it is longer than a 3-minute read, but I hope you will hang in with me because I think it ends well.

Actually this is more of a confession because I have been guilty of prejudice. When I meet people, I do judge them. But I now I remind myself that my first thought may be (probably is) wrong.

I was born in Newark in 1955 and grew up in Belleville in 1960-70s. Three of my grandparents were born in Italy. My father spoke only Italian until he started elementary school. He was a World War II vet and prejudice then was about Americans who came from other countries. My mothers told stories of the prejudice she received growing up in Belleville because she was of Italian decent. I was raised just as much an Italian as an American. Italian was spoken in my house as well. When I grew up, Belleville had become full of people just like me, Italian or Irish Catholics There was one black family in my neighborhood and he was different from us in the same way the Polish family was. The first Jewish person I met was in high school. As a teen, my father encouraged me to marry a nice Italian boy. Turns out that I did. My husband tells stories of the men he started working with, all from that greatest generation, joking together about the nationality of each other but it all was in good-natured fun.

Growing up we often went shopping in Newark, only minutes away from were we lived. My father grew up in Newark and worked there for years. My mother took me there for my first dancing lessons and for Easter dresses. It was a beautiful city at the time with large buildings, high-end stores and restaurants. But then things began to change.

Our Gio and his Grandpa fight racial prejudice with Ice cream

In July 1967, when I was 12 years old, there were riots in Newark. Many people died. I remember sitting in our living room watching it on TV but we also heard the explosions through the open windows on those hot summer nights. I shuttered in fear. As the poor black population in Newark grew and spilled into the near by towns of East Orange and Irvington, the wealthy whites moved away to the suburbs. The once beautiful city of Newark was scarred with burnt and broken buildings. We no longer went to Newark as we feared it was no longer safe. My father, who owned a hairdressing salon in East Orange was repeatedly robbed and eventually had to move the salon to Bloomfield. My husband who grew up in Irvington watched as the families of all his friends left town. His younger brothers dropped out of high school as it became a dangerous place for white boys. Truth be told, as a young woman I was afraid of groups of black young men. The thoughts would come into my mind: would they rob me? Hurt me? Rape me? I knew it was wrong to assume this but with what I had experienced, it became my reality.

College and my first job at IBM in the 1970s introduced me to many different kinds of people and when I talked to them, I saw they were just like me. When our daughters were growing up, it was a totally different world. In Fairview Elementary School in Bloomfield in the 1990s, it was like the United Nations. Immigrants from Germany, India, China and other Hispanic countries ended up in our school and our neighborhood giving our daughters the beautiful experience of all cultures. Our church in Montclair looked the same way with several interracial couples. We were grateful for that experience.

Even now, my first thoughts are still these others are not like me and I continue to fight it off. From experience I know if I engage with them, ask them questions, hear their stories, I find we are more alike than different. It is also true with people who are not in my economic level. Rich people may take better vacations and have nicer cars, but they still love their kids and worry about their elderly mothers just like me.

And yes, I have felt prejudice myself. As a woman, there were things assumed of me, things I could not do and yes that hurt. It deprived me of opportunities because of how God made me. I can’t change the fact I am a woman. I can’t study more, work harder, or gain more experience to make that go away. But then I can’t change that I am white either and the experiences that gave me more privileged than others.  

My concern for society today is we forget fear and hatred of other people groups have always been with us. Read Genesis and see the stories of Isaac and Ishmael and Esau and Jacob.  Brothers turn into nations who hate and war with each other. The first story of murder is between brothers. It has been with us from the beginning and is not going away because it is part of our sin nature. The government can pass better laws but ultimately can’t fix this because it is in our hearts. We can only do it ourselves, one by one by one.

How easy for us to see a news story about a black man being shot by two white men and think we have the answer. How can we? Did we engage with any of them? Did we ask these men questions, hear their stories? How can we be their jury? Why must we assume the black man was there to steal? Or the white men are bigots? Why, because that fits our internal narrative? Because there was a killing, there needs to be a trial, but let us leave the judgment to the jury who will hear the facts.

Yes prejudice is sin, but must we make the sin of prejudice and of being “white privileged” our “tax collector” sin? Must we make being a white man the same as being a Samaritan? When we do we have forgotten something very important. Who did Jesus come to save? Sinners. Who did Jesus tell us to witness to and serve? Sinners. Who are we? Sinners. 

As Christians, we don't judge the sinners. We love on them. 

Black or white, Italian or Irish, man or woman, rich or poor, let us not be quick to judge. Let us not assume the worst for either. Let us engage instead. Ask the questions. Hear the stories. Show kindness and patience and love. To all.

Paul tell us in Romans 12:20-21: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Race. Prejudice. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

When I am filled with shame

As we continue to talk about anxiety in this pandemic, one source of fear is the feeling of shame.

Yes, I know about shame.

It it in the memory of an action or a thought that is so dreadfully wicked I can hardly believe I did it, or even thought it. The worst ones are the ones I carried on for days, for months, for years even without turning back. I just went to the same dry well over and over again.

In his book, When I am Afraid, Ed Welch reminds us that "shame-filled people, when they really know Jesus, want to move towards Him... Jesus seemed to prefer them. He searched out the demon-possessed, lepers, and prostitutes." We can see this so clearly in one of my favorite Bible passages, Luke 7 of the sinful woman who came and anointed Jesus' feet during a dinner at Simon the Pharisee's house. This story so intrigued me that I wrote a back-story about it. But I digress.

And so I asked Him: Jesus, where were You when I was sinning? Were You standing in the corning facing the other way because You could not bare to watch? Were You repulsed? Disgusted? Angry? Disappointed?

And He said to me...

I was there, I did not run in the corner to hide. I was weeping for you and the pain your sin was going to cause you and these others that I dearly love.

I did not take away the desire for the sin but I did make you aware of the shame and the pain. And that kept you safe. I opened your eyes, closed that door, set you free, and put you on the path to healing. I saved you.

Welch continues, "whenever Jesus touched, or was touched by someone unclean, power flowed out of Him...taking the shame of the person onto Himself, and passing on His holiness onto the unclean person."

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown Me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven....Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:47-49, 50)

Father, thank You that You love me, saved me, healed me. You really did save me from my sin because You had a plan for my life, a beautiful plan, a deeply valuable plan, not as I wanted or saw it, but in Your better way. Thank you.Take now the last drop of my shame so I can serve You better, I can rest more freely, I can comfort others with the comfort I have been given from You, my Beloved, God-Hero, My Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.

When I am afraid

Covid-19. It is rapidly infecting thousands, overtaking hospitals, closing businesses, creating fear and death across the globe. Suddenly I find myself ending emails with “stay safe, stay well.” I check in on family more often and calling friends I have not seen in a while. I ask them how they are feeling, not only physically, but also emotionally. As for me, most days I am afraid. Very afraid.

But how is Jesus feeling during this crisis?

I awoke in the night, restless and started praying. And felt Jesus whispering to me His answer to my question. And He said to me…

To them it is numbers: how many masks, gowns and respirators. They count how many people are tested, how many are sick, how many die. Finally they count the black bags of the bodies piled into refrigerated trucks. They may be extremely concerned, motivated to stop the spread, find the cure. But still to protect their own hearts, they retreat to speak of the numbers, their projections, and their strategy.

But to Me, I see each heart, each soul. I formed all of them in their mother’s wombs. I know their families, their heartaches, their hopes and dreams dashed as weeks pass. I see their fear as they move from symptoms to sickness to death. I comfort their families. I protect some and let others slip away from life. I weep over each decision. I rejoice with each healing. I cannot turn off the news. I see all of the pain. I feel all of the pain.

These numbers are My beloved children and I take no joy in their fear and suffering. This is unspeakably hard for Me too. Even for the joy I know is on the other side, I also am with you and all of them during this trial. I am experiencing it with you.

2000 years ago we hung on those crosses going to die, all three of us, one on each side of Me. One chose to mock and criticize Me, telling Me how I should handle that crisis we all faced together. The other one chose to trust Me. All three of us experienced the same reality. We were all nailed on trees. We saw it, we smelt it, we tasted it. We felt each wound. We were all bleeding, barely breathing, in terror and agony. Then we all died. I died for you, and all my children, so you all could be with Me and My Father eternally. The two on each side of me died because of their own crimes. They chose their earthly fate but they also chose their own eternal judgment. It was from their own hearts: one trusted Me, one rejected and criticized Me.

All are going to die. Dear daughter, you too are going to die some day. There is no other way out of this life. The question is will you criticize My plan for your life, or will you trust Me?

Jesus, when I am afraid, I will trust in You.

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:39-43)

Trust Me

I started the year off with a silent retreat. Feeling like I had not truly heard from God in a while, I wanted time alone with Him. After I planned the day, other matters loomed and seemed urgent. But I felt Him calling me, “You made this date with Me, don’t stand Me up. Nothing is more important.”

I was searching for a word for 2020. In 2018 it was Listen, which led me to the word Patience in 2019. Looking deep into the roots of my needs and God’s desire for my good came Trust.

If I want to love God and others, I must trust Him.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:22-23)

It is our attitude, how we see the world that affects everything in our life, filling it with light or darkness. We must be aware of our beliefs and where we put our trust. We get to choose. What will we trust? Who will we trust? Whose party will we side with? Jesus never forces, only invites. Will we choose Him?

We always choose something.

 As I sat at the beach house in silence, I thought about trust. What or whom was I trusting? I trusted myself to drive to the beach house on a dark Friday night alone. I trusted my car to make it, my house to be ready, electric and heat working, my bed to be dry, the stove to heat the water for tea. I trust my husband to be faithful to me and to be there when I return. I trust my office and my job will be there on Monday and my boss to pay me at the end of the month. I do trust. But I can see these things. Like the ocean was blocked from view by the fog, I cannot see God. My attitude can be like the fog, hiding God from my view, and then from my life.

What is trust? The dictionary describes it as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. Trust is a verb, something we do. When we trust, we allow someone to have or look after something of value or importance to us with complete confidence.

As I searched the scriptures, I found the great men of God spoke of trusting God. They assured me God is worthy of my trust.

The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. (Psalm 28:7)

I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined to me.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust. (Psalm 40:1, 4)

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool

but whoever walks wisely will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26)

Fear of man lays a snare

but whoever trusts in the Lord will be safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

The Lord gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm

so always trust the Lord

because He is forever our mighty rock. (Isaiah 3-4)

Not only has God demonstrated He is worthy of my trust, but scripture tell us to not trust Him leads to sin and death. It means I have forgotten all He has done in history, on the cross, through the empty tomb and in my own life. Reading Psalm 78, I saw the perfect picture of the failure to trust God, as the excerpt below highlights…

The men of [Israel], though armed with bows, turned back on the day of battle;

They did not keep God’s covenant and refused to live by His law.

They forgot what He had done, the wonders He had shown them…

But they continued to sin against Him, rebelling in the wilderness against the Most High.

They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.

They spoke against God; they said,

“Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?”

…

My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth…

Teach [your] children, so the next generation would know [God’s law]

Even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds

But would keep His commands.

(Psalm 78)

I am guilty Father! Instead of trusting You, I have trusted in other things:

• In my own wisdom and strengths – which You along have given me!
• In other people – who may love me but are too frail to carry the full weight of my needs.
• In my money, my job, my savings, my possessions – which I have seen can be swept away overnight.
• In my country, its military might, our long stable government – which recently looks much less stable!
• In medicine, doctors, diet fads, health information, vitamins, etc. – which cannot help me without You!

But what if instead, I ask questions of myself day by day, as I make choices, as I think my thoughts, as I worry on my bed, as I pray to You, Beloved…

• Why do I feel impatient, worried or afraid?
• What am I trusting in this matter? Am I trusting in God? Am I trusting in something or someone else?
• Why do I feel God is not worthy of my trust in this specific matter?
• What mighty deeds of God have I forgotten?
• What habits must I cultivate to trust God more?
• What habits must I STOP to trust God more?

What would my life be like at the end of this year if I learned to trust You more? Jesus, Beloved, I am looking forward to how You will be working in my life, as I cling to You.

“Truly I tell you,

unless you change and become like little children,

you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

(Matthew 182)

Patience, My Word for 2019

Patience. That was my word for 2019. I was going to write something about it at the beginning of the year but truth be told, I had nothing meaningful to say. I often say I have the patience of a three year old, which may be an exaggeration, I don’t have quite that much. Instead I often prided myself on being a person who makes things happen, as opposed to others who only watch things happen, or worse, are left wondering what happened.

However, my journey with Jesus has continued to show me that it is not always a good thing. Action can be an indication of impatience and impatience is an indication of distrust. I don’t trust you to get this done right, so I will do it. I don’t trust your word when you say you will do something, so I will do it. I don’t trust you will figure this out, so I will instruct you, even though you did not ask me.  I don’t trust you will remember to leave on time to meet me, so I call you or text you to remind you.  Over and over and over.

Worst of all, I don’t believe God will work things together for good so I try to help Him. I worry. I am anxious, whiny and grumpy. I don’t trust you or God so I have to do everything myself.  And it is exhausting.

So this year I thought about patience. Not about the action of patience, because I was not even sure what that is. I thought about the motivations behind my impatience. What were the things I was doing that showed impatience? And then the more difficult question: what do I do instead?

Because the truth is, I can’t control everything. I can’t make things happen, or stop things from happening. This year, despite dedicated prayers, two dear friends lost their battle with cancer. Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? [Matthew 6:27] I miss them. But Jesus reminds me this is not the end of my relationship with them. They are whole and happy in the arms of Jesus and I will see them again. I will see them all, and my list is long now of family and friends gone.  I think of their names and see their faces, dear and sweet as I close my eyes. I will see them in glory and they will be even more glorious than my memories. This is not the end. The end will be good.

So, Beloved this year You have shown me what I can do instead.

For those who I have lost, for the prayers unanswered, the dreams dashed that will never come true, I can weep, because Jesus comforts those who mourn.

For the worries of today, the things I would change but cannot, the things that I still wait for, I can pray, because Jesus helps those who ask Him. He helps me not only by saying yes, but also by His presence as I wait, helping to quiet my heart, and then also my mouth. He reminds me this is His world, but not the perfect one He created. That is yet to come.

For people who do not believe as I do, I can respect them and ask Jesus to help me learn and understand them. My goal can be to listen, to understand, have compassion not to convince them that my way is right or better.

I can stop rehearsing my speeches to them. The Holy Spirit will instruct me at the time what to say, if I should even say anything at all. It is one thing to think things over. It is another to rehearse the dialogue when there is only my voice in my head. The best part of the dialogue is that there are two voices, both adding to understanding.

When things are not going the way I think is best, I can stop helping and trust the Author to finish the story. It is His story after all. Sometimes He works it out quickly, sometimes it is centuries later, but the end is good. I can trust that even if I never see the ending.

Patience is about trust in God.

Jesus, You have shown me over and over again that You are worthy of my trust and yet my actions demonstrate that I have not trusted You. That is my fault. I demonstrated I did not even trust my own mother in the post Where She Left Me Standing. Of course she was coming for me. Of course she would never leave me on that corner. She came every time. She was not perfect, she was late, but her love and devotion to me was unfailing. And yet I did not see that love. I only saw her time was not on time for me. What made me right and her wrong? Maybe God’s intent was to teach me the patience that I failed to learn.  And so, stubborn, willful and self-righteous, I spent my life stuck in the anxiety of impatience, not trusting anyone but controlling because of my own fault, not hers. She always showed up. It was me who failed to trust.

Beloved, I can say I trust You but if I cannot wait in patience, You will not believe me and with good reason. Even this, I cannot do without Your Spirit. Allow me to trust You. Even if others cannot be trusted, even though the world is evil, You work all for the good. You have overcome the world. You can be trusted. And as I trust You, I will demonstrate patience.

I know that everything God does will last forever. You can't add anything to it or take anything away from it. And one thing God does is to make us stand in awe of Him.

-- Ecclesiastes 3:14

Pick a Side?

As I sat at the hair salon waiting for my stylist, I was reading updates from a friend who lives in Israel telling us about the recent bombings there. So I mentioned to my stylist, “Did you hear about the bombings in Israel?” I had recently noticed how the media has been not reported much about the news in Israel that I had heard from my friend.

To my surprise, she said, “Yes, of course, I am Palestinian.” She went on to tell me about her experience when she visited her family in Palestine, how she and her family were treated by the Israeli army.

And as I remained silent, carefully listening to her story, I reflected on how you can be for one side of an issue until you are face to face with the other side.

“It is by the prince of demons that He drives out demons,” the Pharisees insisted of Jesus as the crowds marveled at His raising the dead, healing the sick and casting out demons (Matthew 9:34).

The Pharisees were the strictest and most religious of the Jews. As leaders of the people of God they memorized the Torah and followed it scrupulously. Yet here they were, face to face with God in the flesh, and they refused to recognize Him. They heard His wisdom taught, they saw His power displayed but they call Him the devil. How did that happen?

Not listening. Not patiently seeking to know and to understand. Not being open to other’s ideas, their pain, sorrow, joy. Being so sure of the truth you know that you are blind to the truth you have yet to see.

Jesus was not trying to get them to reject their God but to see Him more clearly. He was not asking them to reject their truth but to know more truth and to live the truth more fully from their hearts.

“Blind guides,” Jesus calls them, and “if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” (Matthew 15:14)

Beloved, I know I must hold onto Your truth. But Your truth is all are loved, on both sides. Your sacrifice and Your desire to save is for all. Let me show Your love always by patiently listening, by allowing myself to get affected by the pain, sorrow and joy of all who I meet face to face. My assignment from You is not to pick a side, but to show Your love to both sides.

Because I can be confident that in the end, You are victorious, I can bring Your kingdom, Your will on earth by fearlessly loving all who You bring to me, no matter what side they are on.

Settle it in Your Hearts

Walks on the beach can be lost
when I worry about what
I cannot control!

When you think about those whom you love and ponder their lack of faith in God, do you have conversations in your head with them? I do. I find myself doing this is in the car as I drive to work or when I take a stroll on the beach alone. I devise perfect arguments that go perfectly fine, in my mind of course. I confess I spend a lot of time doing this. And then to my great surprise, in real life it never works out the way I thought.

Today I found this verse and it sprang up from the page of my Bible. Jesus is speaking to His beloved disciples, preparing them for when He would leave the Kingdom cause to them. He told them what they should do and it pierced my heart. Then, Beloved, You spoke to me between the lines…

Therefore [in the end times, such as ours when people fail to believe in God and even rise up against God and the godly] settle it in your hearts [plan ahead, promise to yourself, fully trusting in God and not in your own skills, talents, devices] not to meditate [talk to yourself, plan, plot, scheme and devise methods] beforehand on what you will answer [how to convince the godless that God is good or even that God exists, let alone that He loves us and came to save us];

For I [God Almighty of the universe, loving and powerful creator of all things, knowing exactly what to say because I alone know the minds of My children] will give [I promise therefore you can utterly depend on it] you [yes, you, My beloved child, I will entrust you with My sacred mission] a mouth and a wisdom [My perfect wisdom, not your imperfect thoughts] which all your adversaries will not be able [they will try but they will certainly fail!] to contradict or resist or withstand.

Beloved, I repent! Help me to do this, prepare not by worry and create my own arguments, but by nurturing my own soul through Your Word, giving myself, my whole self, more to You in prayer. Let me allow You to demonstrate Your power and faithfulness by waiting for You to give me Your words. And then let me trust You with the results.

Therefore settle it in your hearts not to meditate beforehand on what you will answer; for I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist. -- Luke 21:14-15 (NKJV)

You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life. -- Luke 21:16-19 NIV

Town of Sorrow

Most Bible readers are familiar with the story of Abraham who called by God out of his father’s country to journey to Canaan, the Promised Land. However, hidden in the genealogy of Genesis 11, is the story of his father, Terah, who had already brought Abraham (Abram) halfway.

This is the account of Terah’s family line.

Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran. And Haran became the father of Lot. While his father Terah was still alive, Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, in the land of his birth… Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan.

It was Terah who had started the journey to Canaan but he never made it. Why?

But when they came to Haran, they settled there. Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Haran. (Genesis 11:27-32)

Back in biblical times, people lived for hundreds of years. Terah was the first recorded parent who lost a child. Although I have never experienced this, it is said to be the most devastating thing a person can experience. In this case Terah lived for decades after the loss of his son, he even managed to start his journey. But he settled in a place named after his son and never moved. He was half way there, and then stopped, never completing his journey.

The Bible tells us a few simple facts and we are left to wonder. What convinced Terah to start his journey? Why did Terah settle half way there? What led him to stop? Did he give up? Did he find a town named after his son and his grief hit him afresh and was unable to move on? Did he name the town after his son because he was unable to move on?

The thing about a town of sorrow is this:
It's dry, dusty, lonely, and dead

Terah got stuck and settled in his town of sorrow.

Isn’t this what we are tempted do? Surely grief takes time to heal. Some griefs are so deep that they leave a mark that never fades. But God does not want us to get stuck in our sorrow. God knows and understands. He was there weeping with us when our loved one died. Or maybe it was a dream that was lost, or a relationship that could not be reconciled. Maybe foolish choices cost you years of your life. Or maybe you have been profoundly wounded by someone else's evil or a seemingly random event. Whatever it is, it is sad, we need to mourn the loss. We need to feel it and allow ourselves time to heal.

Losses can change our heart for the better as well. It can deepen our empathy, recalibrate our values, strengthen our resolve, come to terms with our limitations, or recognize our sin. Loss can motivate us to do great good. Sorrow can slow us down, it can deepen our joy and it can expand our gratitude for our Savior.

But let’s not decide to stop our journey and live the rest of our lives in our town of sorrow. Let’s rest a while, catch our breath, but let’s not settle there until we die. The Lord has other plans for us and that’s why we are still here.

We should take what we learned from the sorrow. It happened. It mattered. It was important, life changing even. But it can be life changing in a positive way when we continue the journey.

Let’s go follow Him. Let’s find our future, continue our path. It is never too late to follow Him.

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. (Genesis 12:4)

Father, help me be like Abram and Lot, never afraid, never too wrapped up in my sorrow to follow You. Thank You for reminding me that I am never too old to be called by You. You are my future and my hope!

Cunning

When I was a teen and young adult, I remember my mom telling me what to do – my clothes, my hair, my boy friends, my house, my children. It was so annoying. Why couldn’t she just trust me to make the right decisions? Now I have adult daughters and I understand. Loving mothers always have a better plan for their children’s lives. Or at least that’s what they are thinking.

It is the same with our men. Now that my husband is retired, I have plans for him. He won’t cooperate, as usual.

How can I get him to change? How can I get her to see this is wrong? This is the question I ask myself but it is the wrong question.

Then I read Genesis and I noticed the first sin was about a snake trying to get Eve to do what he wanted.

Genesis is a book of voices. The first voice was God as He spoke the universe into existence and commanded Adam to eat the fruit of every tree but one. The next voice was Adam as he sung a song of delight over his new bride.

Then we hear the voice of Satan, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1)

Satan was lying when he told Eve “your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:5) After the eating the fruit, Adam and Eve thought they knew good from evil. They noticed they were naked and covered themselves from each other and hid themselves from God.

God never told them to be naked was evil. Maybe eventually God would have told Adam and Eve to clothe themselves. But while they were alone and with God, they could be naked and unashamed, and it was still good. God not only knows WHAT is good and evil, He know WHEN something is good and WHEN something is evil. The notion that sex is evil, it is not true. God’s first instruction to them to them was “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth.” (Genesis 1:28) Sex inside their relationship was good. He commanded them to engage in it often to fill the earth. It was our misguided minds that determined sex is always evil or always good.

The result of the fall was we decided we knew what was good and evil. The truth is we don’t know good from evil and history demonstrates this. Any study of history will reveal humans left on their own are bent towards evil. Moreover, they justify it as good.

We cannot understand these things apart from God’s daily direct instruction. Eating from the tree gained nothing but the revelation that we are foolish creatures not to be trusted to be left alone with temptation for a moment. Like two year olds, we must be constantly watched and guided. Maybe that is why Revelation reveals Heaven as being lit by the constant light of God Himself, where there is no darkness, no night. (Revelation 21:22-25) Perhaps that is the only way we can know and follow truth.

Even as mothers, as women who love their family and friends, we must remember we cannot know good from evil for others. We must remember God works even evil to great and glorious good! We see in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:3-6) women whose lives are stained with sin yet their sons are in the lineage of Christ. We find Tamar, a widow who tricked her father-in-law into having sex with her (Genesis 38). We find Rahab the prostitute. And Bathsheba the wife of Uriah who had a child by King David.

How do I know what is right for the people I love? How can I tell if my way is leading them to a better life? I cannot. Instead I must pray – fill their heart with the Holy Spirit, change their heart of stone to a heart of flesh; convict them of sin and of God’s truth.

Helping people is not about my getting them to change their minds or behavior. It is pointing them to God. Only God knows what is right.

The first sin was about a cunning snake trying to get someone else to do what he wanted. Don’t be a snake.

Even as I lie awake on my bed, Father, I listen to my worried thoughts, and they are about others I feel should change. Father forgive me! I have been a snake! Help me to catch every wayward desire for others and cast it at the foot of Your cross, knowing You alone know good. I can trust You with everyone and everything I love. You know best and bring even wrong to good with Your mercy, power and grace, in Your perfect time.

Confrontation vs. Retaliation

What is the difference between retaliation and confrontation?

Retaliation is about getting back at someone because they have hurt you. In the Jewish Law, in order to keep law and order between the families and tribes, limits were set for retaliation. Exodus 21:23-25, God instructs His people, “If there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.” The point was God was teaching the concept of justice, not to be too harsh but to allow for our desire for fairness. He was protecting us from the way human anger naturally devolves into “the Chicago Way” -- “They pull a knife, you pull a gun. They sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue.” (The Untouchables)

God also urge His people to take into account intent in earlier verses 12-14, “Anyone who strikes a person with a fatal blow is to be put to death. However, if it is not done intentionally, but God lets it happen, they are to flee to a place I will designate. But if anyone schemes and kills someone deliberately, that person is to be taken from my altar and put to death.”

However even this is not enough for Jesus who is God’s expression of perfect love. Jesus taught retaliation was not an option in His kingdom. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” (Matthew 5:38-40)

The question then becomes—do I become a doormat? Do I allow people to hurt me and say nothing? Do we allow evil to run unchecked?

The answer: choose to confront, not retaliate. We confront with intent to restore the relationship, to make peace. We enforce personal boundaries with kindness. We respectfully express our point of view. We say no and add thank you. We rebuke someone’s dangerous or hurtful behavior with empathy and tenderness. We confront lovingly and directly, face to face.

Jesus demonstrates confrontation with evil (Mark 1:23-26), with religious hypocrites (Matthew 23:13-35), with His own disciples (Mark 8:33), with personal sin John 8:11). He did not shy away from confrontation, but also did not retaliate (Matthew 26:52-53, Luke 23:34).

Like spring flowers,
relationships need tenderness
to bloom and grow

Practicing confrontation in this manner takes courage and self-control. It requires prayer because only the Holy Spirit can give us what it takes to love someone who has hurt you. Only the love of Jesus can change the heart of someone determined to make unwise, dangerous choices. Only self-reflection and humility can prepare us to confront others because our hearts are also selfish and corrupt.

Although this is the more difficult path, it is the only way for relationships to grow and stay healthy. Retaliation kills relationships. Lack of confrontation allows us to stay hurt which will eventually kill the relationship as well.

We must accept that sometimes our confrontation will not produce the results we desire. We can choose to confront, but others too have free choice and may not react as we hope even when we have been kind, respectful, and loving. Sometimes relationships can be restored but not always. We must put our trust in Jesus always who promised, “Blessed (enjoying enviable happiness, spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the makers and maintainers of peace, for they shall be called the daughters of God!” (Matthew 5:9, AMP)

Jesus, it is easy to type but so difficult to do in the moment. Help me to confront when necessary and always with kindness and respect. Make me an instrument of Your peace!

The Cause of Quarrels

Conflict. It’s been with us since the dawn of time…

“The woman You put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” – Cain, Genesis 4:9

“Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” – Brothers of Joseph, Genesis 37:19-20

Anger is a feeling that is neither good nor bad. It is not sin. However, anger can lead us to sin when we use the strength of our anger to beat others down and push them to change according to our will. Angry mean-spirited words wound and hurt others. They cause defensiveness and angry responses. They escalate the situation.

Jesus got angry but He didn’t use His anger in that way. He presented His case gently, tenderly and respectfully. He asked questions. He was invitational. He allowed people to make up their own mind and make their own choices, even if it was against His ways. Even though He is always right.

Anger is a feeling that comes to all of us. It can lead us to sin or we can use it as a sign, a kind of diagnostic tool to help us evaluate our situation. Maybe we need to have a conversation with another person to express how we feel. Maybe we need to draw boundaries. Maybe we need to flee from a hostile or dangerous situation. Maybe we need to get help. Or we can yell, scream, hit others or walk out in a huff. It’s our choice.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that “every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” – Matthew 18:15-16

Jesus gave us a clear method for resolving conflict:

Talk to the person we are having the conflict with first. Not our girl friend, our sister, our mom or co-worker. Bringing a third person into the conflict first is seldom wise because often we are not looking for resolution—we are looking for validation. We hope our friend will agree with us and say the other person is wrong and we are right. This is called “triangulation” because we are creating a triangle when we bring someone else into the conflict. Especially when all in the triangle have relationships, it creates more conflict not less. When I tell my mother about the fight I had with my husband, what happens is I make up with my husband but my mother will still be upset. It is harder to just take it to the person we are having the conflict with, but no other two people can resolve it.

For me, I struggle with the conversation I have in my head. I discuss the matter with them in my head having both sides of the conversation—mine and theirs! When the conversation does not go well, I am still angry but then I never have the conversation out loud. You can see how this is faulty logic, right? The truth is we can never accurately predict how the conversation will go! We can pray and trust God. We can be open to having our minds changed. We can at least get our feelings out in the open. It is always best to talk it out.

Jesus urges us to settle matters with our adversary quickly. How do we do that? We must be tenderhearted, kind, and respectful. We must not only state how we feel and what we think, we must ask questions. We must be interested in how they feel, what they are thinking. We must be sympathetic and assume the best, not the worst. We must remain hopeful—not merely in them, but in the ability of God to changes hearts and work all things together for good.

Sometimes talking to the person we have the conflict with does not work and there are still concerns that need to be resolved. That’s when we need to bring another person in to help and talk to both parties. Bringing a wise trusted friend or counselor into the situation could add the light of Christ to it. What is said when two people are alone or at the kitchen table in front of only the children might sound different when said in front of someone else. A third person cannot resolve our conflict but they can ask questions we might not have considered, help us think through our feelings, and help us better understand each other. They may be able to come up with acceptable alternate resolutions we cannot see because we are embroiled in our emotions.

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. – James 4:1-3

Sometimes we are angry because we are selfish. That’s what James is talking about. I want what I want and when you get in my way, well then I am angry and I am angry with YOU!

It is easy to see how this can sabotage a relationship. Sometimes we must choose between what we want and the health of our relationships. Jesus holds us to a high standard, especially in marriage. His law of love tells us we can’t just walk away when we can’t have our way. Indeed, we are called to submit in humility, to value the other’s needs as higher than our own.

In the light of James’ wisdom, let us closely examine what we want and clearly define it.

1. What do we want exactly? Why do we want it?
2. How does what we want align with God’s Word? Does it clearly agree? Is it a little bit shady?
3. Does our desire reveal a character flaw? Pride? Greed? Envy? Ambition for fame or power? Comfort? Fear?
4. Is our desire for someone else? Are we trying to control someone else’s life? Remember Jesus taught and invited but never controlled others even though He was always right!
5. Could we be patient and trust maybe God has a better timing? Maybe God has an even better idea?
6. Can we be open handed with our desire? Could we submit to the other person out of our love for them and our desire to be more like Jesus?

Our culture teaches us to look to our husbands, our children, our parents, our boss, our friends to provide us with love, acceptance, emotional support, financial assistance, etc. What if instead we saw ourselves as ministers to them? What if we chose to offer them unconditional love, kindness, encouragement, and respect? What we if we pause and remember we are instruments of Christ’s love in the world?

Jesus desires us to have peace. Peace with God, already settled by His blood, and also peace with each other. As we follow the Prince of Peace and trust in His truth and love, we will find peace.

Beloved Jesus, may everyone who hears these words be encouraged and strengthened to follow Your perfect teaching and find peace. May it begin with me.

Living Life Well

This year my Mom turned 90 years old. Certainly this is a gift from God. No amount of clean living and vitamin supplements can guarantee you to live to 90. But if you are going to live that long, Mom is showing us how it is done.

I remember many people warning me, “don’t get old” but not Mom. Oh she has some health struggles and aches and pains but she never lets them get in the way of real life. She is always going to meetings, luncheons and trips with the several clubs she belongs to. She recently joined the chorus. She is constantly redecorating her home. Recently while she was planning her next decorating project, Frank said to me, “When is she going to stop? She acts like she is going to live forever.”

And I replied, “So far, it’s working for her,” and it is.

A few years back we discussed when a woman should let her hair go gray, as both of us have hair as white as snow. I asked when she would let her hair go gray, at age 80? Or at age 90? At the time she said 90 but I guess not. 

   

Yes, I am inspired by Mom’s example. She is going to color her hair, apply her makeup, slip on her high heeled shoes, wear her red dress, attend every party and eat the dessert until Jesus calls her home.  

But even better than her outside beauty and vitality, is what is on the inside of Mom, in her heart. With Mom, we were always confidant of her love. It was never because of what I accomplished, whether I agreed with her or not, or if I was being naughty or nice. Mom loved me because that was her way. She loved us because love came naturally to her. She forgave us because that was what love demanded.

Our pastor recently talked about raising children and how we have them for only 18 years. Mom would disagree. Mom said once you are a mother, you are always a mother and never stop teaching, encouraging, giving to and serving your children. And that’s what Mom did for her children, grandchildren, and now great grandchildren. Her one regret is not having more of them to lavish her love on.

Thank you, Mom for showing me how to live and love life to the fullest. May Jesus help me to be just like you when I grow up.

The Babe, the God-Hero

Christmas Morning.

My life totally changed 31 years ago. I woke up that Christmas morning and the nurses brought me a beautiful baby with a red cap in a large Christmas stocking.

And then six months later, You came, Beloved and invited me into Your love. You change everything.

2000+ years ago You came in the dark of night, to a far-away land, hidden and yet in plain sight. Humble, poor and helpless, yet mighty and glorified.

A Babe lying in a manger.

But You would not stay hidden, You would come out of hiding to heal and teach and serve. You would die for us and be raised because death could not hold You. You brought peace and yet also a battle that still rages.

You are invisible again, except through us, we must proclaim You.

Christ is the Lord! Oh praise His Name forever!
His power and glory evermore proclaim!

We must not give up our hope in You to heal us, our family, our nation, our world. You will continue to build Your gathering of followers and the gates of hell will not prevail against us!

You will prevail, our Jesus, God-Hero, Prince of Peace!

Give us courage to continue to praise and proclaim Your Holy Name, Your Kingdom, Your Peace! 

Asleep on the hay

Precious Baby Maya and Gio 

Away in a manger, no crib for His bed
The little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head
The stars in the sky look down where He lay
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay

You left Glory to be lain in a pile of hay. You trusted a poor teenage girl and a young man to carry You, feed You, bathe You, care for You in every way.

You could have came to us in any way You wanted but Your choice was to become a poor helpless baby born before indoor plumbing, air conditioning, and cell phones.

You were God. More powerful than a hurricane. Wiser than anyone who ever lived. Holy and perfect in every way. Yet You laid it all down, left it behind and trusted Mary and Joseph, knowing they were frail and flawed.

You are more precious than the thousands of dollars I carried clutching in my pocketbook last week to pay cash for the car repair. More precious than the big party I fretted over as the last guests called requiring the altering of my carefully crafted seating plan. More precious than the millionaire houses that burnt in the recent raging fires. More precious even than the sweet sick friends I am praying for, although they are so very precious to me.

So precious, Holy God, Savior of the whole world and yet You trusted Your very life to them. You entrust Your gospel to us.

Why can’t we trust You then, dear Beloved? You showed us how to trust. Let me remember You did it first, You did it for us. You trusted us when You knew we could not be trusted.

Let me trust You because we know we can.

And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7)

The Road to Our Peace

Written by dear sister-in-the-Lord Ekko Luo, the day after our Liquid Church Group.
She often send us inspiring messages, this one was a must-keeper!

What is peace?

Racial, economical, political conflicts divide our nation. All sorts of illnesses, violence, prejudice, and loneliness plague our society. Unmet expectation, future uncertainty, money and health concerns, broken down communication, chores calling for attention occupy our homes and our minds.

What is peace in the midst of it?

I was driving home late last night from Women's Group. The gas tank indicator was very close to empty. But the dash board said I had another 75 miles on the tank. My house is 60 miles away. I didn’t want to stop at any gas station. First, it’s late, I was tired. Just wanted to make it home. Secondly, It’s my husband’s car. He is particular on what gas to put into the tank.

For the entire journey, I was split between believing the dash board, which showed I had enough gas to make it home; and the gas tank indicator, which was pointing to empty. I had no peace, right after attending a meeting about peace. I couldn’t concentrate on driving, couldn’t redeem my commute time mentally, and I started to let all kinds of thoughts getting into my mind.

Half way through, I stopped to get gas. Wow, that feeling of relief!! Knowing you have a full tank of gas to go anywhere within 300 miles!

The road to peace often has a fork,
will we choose His way or ours?

All of sudden I realized, that is PEACE. Even if my gas tank indicator and dash board both malfunction and warn me of no gas, but I know that I just had gas put in and I can go anywhere I want!

In our journey, if the gas in our tank is Jesus, then we have peace. And we can go places!

We can go anywhere we want, or we can go anywhere He wants!

And we know if we head to the place He wants us to go, He will continuously fill our tank and we will have peace and strength.

But, if we insist to go where we want to go, we may find ourselves in situations where we are out of gas: lack of peace, nothing works, everything irritates and upsets.

When we are filled with Jesus, His way, His truth, and His hope, we are muscled up to do good, to go places.

How do we get this peace? Charge it through prayers, His Word, godly gatherings, lots of practice on putting aside our fleshly self, and do and say what Jesus says it’s good, and lifting up our problems and our society’s problems to God, and trusting He will work all things together for the good of those who love God.

Praying for you and myself to welcome this November with increased peace and go on our life with full tank of Jesus.


The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. (Psalm 29:11)