What I learned from managing community life

July 1, 2022 I retired from Arthur Edwards Inc, a community management firm caring for properties in New Jersey and New York. I worked there for over 13 years caring for condo high rises and town homes, upscale and lower income areas, over 55 and young families. It was fast moving and complicated. What I found the most fascinating was the interpersonal relationship dynamics. I learned more about people while I managed their associations than I did in the few counseling courses I took several years ago. Because I need to remember, and because these things often apply to any community/family/church/groups, here they are below:

I learned I never want to live in a condo community because I met too many hostile, legalistic neighbors and condo board members. In these type of communities, other people would decide how I should spend my money and repair my home -- or not! If there are owners in the condo who fall into hard times and default financially, all homeowners have to pay more to make up for their bad luck or foolishness. 

However, I have also seen beautiful communities where the neighbors truly care for one another and help one another. For every arrogant mean board member I have met, there are ten sweet selfless ones who despite it being a thankless volunteer job, tirelessly work for the good of their community. Caring for these communities were the best part of my job and what made it the most difficult to leave! 

Rules are vital to a good community and the rules must be enforced. No rules, or unenforced rules cause the community to devolve into chaos resulting in pain for everyone. While boundaries are vital, they need to be enforced with kindness, consideration, respect, empathy and compassion.

When people are contacted about breaking a rule, it is amazing to see how differently people respond. Some people will be horrified they did something wrong and afraid their perfect record will be soiled. They will apologize profusely and make it right immediately. On the other extreme some will be extremely agitated that they were contacted at all and immediately blame you, the board, or their neighbors. They will tell you of a totally unrelated problem you must address immediately! There are rule followers and rule breakers. No matter what our approach is, people's reactions are up to them.  

As with everything, when there is an issue, we need to hear BOTH sides and not jump to conclusions. Often people on both sides of the issue will have completely different stories and it is difficult to find where the truth lies. 

Most people who are being angry today are in a tough spot. Today's issue may have reminded them of an old hurt and opened an old wound. Or they may have other life concerns already putting them on edge. Although it is difficult, it is best not to respond in kind. Listening carefully and respectfully may guide them to process the issue and soften their hearts. Even if we can't change their minds while speaking to them, they may think about it and change their mind later. Trust the Holy Spirit and time to work on their hearts. 

Some people are just evil. There is no reasoning with them. There is no use to even try. But people do not wear signs and it is difficult to tell an evil person from a simply angry person at first. It is hard to tell a liar from someone who is just sharing their unique perspective. But time will always tell.   

Once there is a homeowner who repents of breaking a rule, the board needs to move forward with forgiveness and grace. Continued bitterness can ruin communities.

When there is a dispute, it is better to avoid getting attorneys involved. Once the lawyers take over the only one who really wins is the attorney. 

When we give our gift of wise experience and advice, some people will not accept it. It is best not to take it personally and remember it is not our roof that is leaking or our over-grown garden, or bumpy driveway. It is not our money either. We don't live in their homes, live their lives or even know their whole story. We will not reap the consequences, they will. So let it go. 

No one can tell when the next unexpected expensive problem will occur, but we can be sure it will come. Therefore it is important to save for the future. 

Finally no matter what work you do, I can't over-state the importance of working for someone who values your contribution. Or the devastation of being unappreciated and unseen. At Arthur Edwards Inc., my boss did appreciate me and listen to all my ideas, even if they were not always the best. To be personally valued is the best compensation! Without it, no amount of money will do. So THANK YOU to my boss Ed Frank. May all the value and kindness you give to others, employees and clients, return to you 100 fold.

Spring has come

The storm is over now

This girl, age 16, wrote this poem -- it's me!

 

The sun is breaking through

A whole new life is starting

For me and for you.

The birds are singing now

So wipe away your tears

For Spring has come again 

In spite of all your fears.

When winter came we wondered 

As mortals often do

If we could weather the storm

And see the bad times through

What a waste of time to worry!

How silly could we be?

If we had just faith and patience

The rest would have been easy!

So worry no more, friend of mine

And leave your burden here

Come relax with me and we'll enjoy 

The best time of the year! 

💮 💮 💮

I found this poem when cleaning out my mom's house. Now I know the true fulfillment is found only in Christ in the coming of His Kingdom.

What Does the New Testament Say About Slavery?

What does the New Testament say about slavery? Doesn’t the Bible forbid slavery like it forbids murder and adultery? Certainly slavery, owning another human being made in God’s image, is worse than bearing false witness against my neighbor, right? Then why did it not make the Bible's Top Ten list? 

Matter of fact, Paul writes to the believers in Corinth and tells them this: 

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches… Yes each of you should remain as you were when God called you. Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. (1Corinthians 7:17, 20-22a) 

Wait, what? Is that what Paul thinks of slavery? 

Paul’s view of life is totally absorbed by the spiritual reality of Jesus and heavenly things. If you read the whole chapter, you can see Paul is directing this conversation to the circumcised and the uncircumcised, to the married and single, as well as to slaves. Paul’s focus is on heaven and God’s Kingdom coming soon. He wants us to be instruments of the Kingdom. See more on Paul’s thoughts here: 

But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short... Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. I want you to be free from the concerns of this life... I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. (1 Corinthians 7:29-32, 35) 

Paul’s focus is not on changing life’s situations because this life is short and it is not the end. Paul instead urges the believers to change their hearts. There are masters and slaves in the world Paul lives in and he is not focused on changing Roman society. Instead he tells the followers of Jesus to rethink their attitudes, no matter what their place in society: 

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free. Masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Don’t threaten them; remember, you both have the same Master in heaven, and He has no favorites. (Ephesians 6:5-9) 

Remember, it was the Jewish people who believed the Messiah would be a political figure, a military leader who would overthrow Rome and become king. Jesus repeated told them that they misunderstood His plan. Jesus came to change hearts. He did not come to force anyone to follow Him with mighty power, but to love us to voluntarily come into His Kingdom. 

Paul’s letter to Philemon also reflects his desire to change hearts. Philemon had a slave named Onesimus who ran away, likely causing inconvenience and financial loss. But Onesimus met up with Paul while he was imprisoned. There Onesimus helped Paul and became a believer. Paul, wanting to do the right thing, and trusting Philemon’s faith and friendship, sent Onesimus back to him with a deeply personal letter: 

That is why I am boldly asking a favor of you. I could demand it in the name of Christ because it is the right thing for you to do. But because of our love, I prefer simply to ask you. Consider this as a request from me—Paul, an old man and now also a prisoner for the sake of Christ Jesus. I appeal to you to show kindness to my child, Onesimus. I became his father in the faith while here in prison… I am sending him back to you, and with him comes my own heart. I wanted to keep him here with me while I am in these chains for preaching the Good News, and he would have helped me on your behalf. 

But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent. I wanted you to help because you were willing, not because you were forced. It seems you lost Onesimus for a little while so that you could have him back forever. He is no longer like a slave to you. He is more than a slave, for he is a beloved brother, especially to me. Now he will mean much more to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge it to me… I am confident as I write this letter that you will do what I ask and even more! (Philemon 1:8-21) 

Paul could have insisted Philemon free Onesimus, but he did not. He wanted their relationship change to be of Philemon’s free will. Jesus wants us too, of our own free will, to treat others with kindness and respect in every relationship, in every situation. Jesus wants to make slavery and bigotry unthinkable, not merely illegal. And He doesn’t want it to stop there. 

We think of social justice as changing society, changing laws. But Jesus does not want us not to point fingers at other people or at government. Jesus wants us to consider our own hearts. Do we judge others because of how they dress or where they live, or what news channels they watch or what they post on social media? Are we critical of others and analyze whether they measure up to our standards? Are we judging each other and neglecting to consider our own faults, our own self-centered, self-righteous attitudes? 

Do we rant about equity for all when we personally are reluctant to give kindness and mercy to all? 

Do we try to take out the speck in other people’s eye and ignore the plank in our own? 

Jesus came not to free His chosen race, the Jews, from slavery to Rome or any earthly system. He came to free ALL of us from the power of sin and death. Jesus knew once we believed in Him, slavery would eventually become unthinkable. But freedom comes one by one by one. 

Meanwhile, while we wait for the fullness of His Kingdom, Jesus asks us to do one thing: to show kindness and mercy to His children, ALL of them, one by one by one. We can be a "Paul" and advocate for an "Onesimus" we know. We can be an "Onesimus" and serve and trust a "Paul" we know. Or we can just show kindness to that co-worker in the desk next to us who is so annoying out of our love for Christ. Each of us can pick our one.

And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. (1 Corinthians 7:22b)

 

Beloved Jesus, I am the one who is inclined to judge others. It is easy to talk about racism as a problem someone else has, or society has, or the government has. It is harder to look inside at myself and ask: Where am I bigoted? When do I make assumptions about people? When am I turned off because of someone's accent, or clothing, or Facebook post? Please help me to be aware when I think those thoughts and heal my heart!

Thank You for those You filled with special Spiritual gifts and passions to lead our nation away from slavery and bigotry; people like Martin and Harriet and Fredrick and Abraham. Even though You have not picked me for such an honor, I can still honor You every day by bringing kindness and respect to all I meet. Help me to do that in Your Name. Amen. 

Skunks and Turtles

When it comes to conflict resolution people can be describes as skunks or turtles.

Skunks are conflict enjoyers. They face conflict head-on and want to resolve it immediately but tend to be verbal, pushy, aggressively describing their reasons and logic or passions to the other person. In short, they stink up the place, like a skunk.

Skunks mean well. In their head they hear the words of Jesus, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24). Resolving conflict is important. Right?

Turtles are conflict avoiders. They dislike conflict so they keep it to themselves, deny there is a problem, or minimize it, rationalize it or try to forget it. They change the subject, leave the room, hang up the phone, or turn the TV up louder. In short, they retreat into their shell and hide, like a turtle.

Turtles mean well. In their head they hear the words of Jesus, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire." (Matthew 5:21-22) Being meek, kind, patient is important. Right?

Funny these two quotes of Jesus are right next to each other in the Sermon on the Mount. They are meant to be considered together. And mostly because God has a great sense of humor, it often seems like He has designed us to be attracted to the opposite type. Skunks tend to be attracted to turtles, and turtles to skunks. 

Skunks are wrong because in their passion to be heard, they can be experienced as not loving. They can criticize and accuse the other person, assigning motives without first trying to understand. This behavior can drive people away from them and the conflict, sadly because what the skunk really desired was intimacy.

Turtles are wrong because they can allow the hurt to fester and make them bitter towards the other person. In their effort to bring peace they stuff the pain inside but end up leaking instead, acting manipulative, passive-aggressive, with thinly veiled snarky remarks. This behavior can drive people away from turtles when what they really desired was intimacy.

 

What to do? How about we read the rest of Jesus' sermon? Matter of fact, let's start at the beginning.

 

“Blessed [spiritually prosperous, happy, to be admired] are the poor in spirit [those devoid of spiritual arrogance, those who regard themselves as insignificant, the humble], for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].

“Blessed [forgiven, refreshed by God’s grace] are those who mourn [over their sins and repent], for they will be comforted [when the burden of sin is lifted].

“Blessed [inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect] are the meek, gentle [the patient, kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled], for they will inherit the earth.

“Blessed [joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God, trying to do the right thing according to His will], for they will be [completely] satisfied.

“Blessed [content, sheltered by God’s promises] are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

“Blessed [anticipating God’s presence, spiritually mature] are the pure in heart [those with integrity, moral courage, and godly character, attitudes and motives], for they will see God.

“Blessed [spiritually calm with life-joy in God’s favor] are the makers and maintainers of peace who show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight, for they will [express His character and] be called the sons and daughters of God.

“Blessed [comforted by inner peace and God’s love] are those who are persecuted for doing that which is morally right, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven [both now and forever].

“Blessed [morally courageous and spiritually alive with life-joy in God’s goodness] are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil things against you because of [your association with] Me. Be glad and exceedingly joyful, for your reward in heaven is great [absolutely inexhaustible]; for in this same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5:3-12 AMP revised)

 

As we bravely pursue righteousness by entering into peacemaking conversations, these are the highlights of what we need to pray for and strive for:

• Being humble and devoid of spiritual or intellectual arrogance.
• Being willing to look at our our failings and mourn over the harm and hurt that causes others.
• Being patient, gentle, kindhearted and self-controlled as we listen to and interact with others.
• Trying to do the right things, as much as we understand God's will.
• Showing mercy and forgiveness to others when they fail.
• Consider our motives and attitudes to make sure they are rooted in a godly character.
• Striving to cooperate and not compete or fight.

We also need to have courage. Courage to try to work things out and engage when there is the possibility that we may be hurt, insulted, slandered, or rejected. Jesus tells us here to expect these things and rejoice. Our reward for peacemaking is not here on earth. Our reward is in heaven, kept safe for us by Him.

 

I get disappointed when I try and things don't "work out". But that is a bad goal. It is the wrong goal. Our goal is the Kingdom, not earthly perfection. We do the right thing, with the right attitude and trust the Spirit to work out the rest. 

Beloved, You know where I land with this. I remember demonstrating the worst parts of both the skunk and the turtle. Please forgive me! On my own, I am hopelessly lost in my sinful pattern but my hope is in Your power of Your Holy Spirit in me. This year, help me follow You in these things and help me to encourage others to do the same. You are our hope. Help us trust You more.

Accept, My Word of the Year

A new year. a new page, a new word to focus on for 2022. 

For the past few years I have focused on creating and keeping good relationships. This year after watching current events more than usual, I have been longing to bring God's kingdom to our nation, to the earth. How do we do that? 

For comfort I have been turning to the Lord's Prayer. In it Jesus tells us to pray "Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10) and also reflecting on "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) 

We bring God's kingdom to earth when we allow Him to be our King and obey His laws. And the foundation of all laws is so simple: to love one another. 

Easier said than done. What does this look like? Jesus has been opening this up like an onion for me year by year. 

A prior word of the year was LISTEN. Last year's was ENGAGE. This year's word is ACCEPT. They all go together. Let me explain...

ENGAGE: As a natural conflict-avoider, my default is to ignore conflict. So last year I was encouraging myself to engage. To engage with people in pain and to engage with conflict when I would have preferred to avoid it. It is hard for me to engage and listen if I am not really interested in the topic, if someone is presenting a contrasting point of view, if someone is in a lot of pain. But that is what Jesus calls us to, to move towards others, even when it is uncomfortable.  I would prefer to hang up the phone, walk away, give up, immerse into social media, anything else. But that is not what Jesus did. He came toward us, even though it was messy, uncomfortable, painful, dangerous, and ultimately deadly. I need to continue to engage. It is what He calls me to do.

LISTEN: Listen involves talking less. Asking more questions such as: what else happened, what feelings came up, what prior event in your life does this remind you of, what assumptions are being made. Making sure I understand the other person. Focusing on all the details given. Being sympathetic. Trying to understand their point of view by picturing myself in their situation.  

ACCEPT: This is the hard next part. Accept their position, their feelings, their prior actions as facts that I am not going to change today. Accept who they are and show respect, tenderness, and compassion. Accept they are a separate person and the Lord has them on a unique path I cannot comprehend and I cannot alter. Accept there are different or conflicting opinions, reasons, world views and it is the way it is. I can still be friendly. I can still be kind. I can still be respectful even when I believe it is wrong.

Only after I honestly accept others as they are, will they be open to hearing my views and continuing the conversation. Once I share, only the Holy Spirit can convict them, and He is well able to do so without any more of my help. Indeed my continued "help" can block His work.

And my Beloved said to me...

I came for all of them but they would not all have Me. Some rejected Me. I did not force them, even now, I never force them. No, I continue to love them.

You cannot force them either. It will not work and only push them away.

Beloved, forgive me for all the times I tried to convince or manipulate others towards my point of view! Forgive my arrogance and pride which led me to believe my ways were right or best and that others needed my help. 

Remind me to love others as You did! Encourage me to engage and listen to accept them and trust You with all things.

Alone and Far from Home at Christmas

It's another covid Christmas and because of the pandemic, our comforting routines and family gatherings are disrupted, leaving us disappointed and sad. 

But isn't that what the first Christmas was like? Mary, a teen with her first pregnancy, expected to be home for the birth, surrounded by her mother, aunts, older sisters and most comforting, the local midwife with experience in giving birth. Unlike today, no medical advancements were available to alleviate pain or rescue a baby in distress. It was not unusual for women at that time to die in childbirth. 

Instead the Roman census came, requiring her and her betrothed Joseph to travel 70 plus miles from home to Bethlehem. When they arrived and the birth of the Child became closer, there was not even a relative's home or an inn to protect them from the elements, only a barn, surrounded by animals and hay. 

There was only Joseph to assist when Mary gave birth. No women with experience gathered to support her. Only a man, with whom she had never been intimate, who had never seen her unclothed, was there to help her. Mary was alone and far from home at a frightening time in her life. And yet, God provided for all her needs. 

God Himself came into the world and surrendered His glory to a young girl alone with a man she barely knew. God who controls the universe allowed Himself to be welcomed into that dirty, cold place. 

We love all the Christmas traditions and the opportunity to be with family and loved ones, to bless them and to be blessed by gifts and good food. But that is not the essence of Christmas. It is the courage to follow God into difficult, lonely places and trust Him because He is worthy of our trust. 

Beloved Jesus, as I think of You and Your earthy mother and father this Christmas, remind me of their courage. Help me to be more courageous and more trusting. Remind me that like Mary, she was not alone. She had God inside her body. And by the power of faith and the Holy Spirit, so do I!

Facing Grief

What do you do when faced with grief, sorrow, pain?

In Matthew 26 we see what Jesus did when He faced the greatest ordeal of His life, truly the greatest ordeal in history. As that last Passover grew closer, He knew exactly what He was going to suffer: the physical, emotional, and spiritual pain of abandonment from His followers, His Father, and finally human death. He even felt the sorrow for those who would ultimately deny Him. 

What did Jesus do in those last days? Those last hours?

He gathered with His friends. In the house of Simon the leper, He had chosen to have dinner with all of His disciples. He shared the Passover meal with the Twelve. Then He got away with His Three closest disciples for prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. In increasingly smaller circles of friends as the time great nearer, Jesus did not shun people but leaned towards them.

Jesus also allowed people to care for Him. This is demonstrated most beautifully by Mary who anointed Him with the fragrant perfume. Sometimes it is hard to admit we need care, accept care from others. Jesus did not have this problem but commended Mary even when others rebuked her.

Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a good work for Me... For in pouring this fragrant oil on My body, she did it for My burial.  (v. 10, 21)

Jesus shared His thoughts and feelings with His disciples. He did not hide from them what was going to happen, even though they could not comprehend or accept it at that time.

You know that after two days is the Passover, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified... Assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me. (v 2, 21)

Jesus still cared for HIs disciples during this time of grieving. He taught them, He answered their questions, He prayed for them and promised to forgive and reunite with them on the other side of His ordeal. They did not understand at the time, but He knew His words would comfort them later. Even in His deep sorrow, He was not self-centered. 

All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night... But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee. (v 31, 32)

Jesus was committed to obey the Law even in His pain. He kept the Passover. This was woven into God's plan but it is significant in that He didn't feel exempt from His religious routines even though He was grieving.

Even though Jesus stayed close with His disciples until the end, He did not expect too much from them. He not demand from them what they could not do. He forgave them for falling asleep when He asked them to pray, for abandoning Him when He was arrested. 

My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me. (v 38)

Jesus drew His greatest strength from prayer alone with His Father. He was totally honest about His desires and grief, but still willing to obey. He went to His Father alone for comfort, strength, peace. And the Father provided all His needs. 

O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will. (v 39)

Jesus did not allow the weakness of His friends to deter Him to seek His Father in prayer. He did not allow the despicable, evil behavior of others to stop Him from going forward with God's plan or to return evil for evil. He was honest but never mean spirited even in His deep pain.

He even called Judas friend. 

Friend, why did you come? (v 50)

No accusations, no recriminations, no retaliations, just a question, asking Judas himself for his motives, reaching out to his heart. You are my friend. Why are you doing this?

How beautiful is our Savior? Who can read this chapter and not be in awe with the perfection of His humanity united with the Spirit? Beloved, help me remember Your ways, fill me with Your Holy Spirit so my ways can be like Yours! 

BlindSpots - Reprise

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. (Matthew 5:9) 

Our topic for this week was how to be a peacemaker, how do we resolve conflicts. Pastor Tim encouraged us to make the first move (Matthew 5:23-24) and start with confessing our own faults, our blindspots. 

Part of the problem is ME!

But there's still that stubborn problem. If it is a blindspot, how do I see it?

We need to start with the assumption that in any conflict, we all have a part, even if it is small.  And even though our part may be small, it is the only part we have the opportunity to change.

So I pray the prayer of King David: Create in me a pure heart, O God (Psalm 51:8) Lord, how can I see my faults? And so here are the questions to ask ourselves, to see our blindspots...

• WHAT is important to me? What exactly am I fighting for, upset about?
• WHY is it important? 
• How important is it? On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 = "I do not prefer this but can live with that" and 10 = "Over my dead cold body", how would I rate this issue?
• Is there any part I can overlook? What points of compromise can I make?
• What old wound is this triggering? Is this conflict a repeat of a similar one I have had before, maybe with someone else? What feelings are coming up? Are the intensity of my feelings in proportion to the situation?
  
• What unreasonable expectations do I have for the other person, or for the relationship?
• What assumptions have I made about the other person and their motives that I need to check out with them?
• What questions do I  need to ask the other person? Could additional information about their past, other circumstances, their feelings, hurts, hopes and dreams help me understand them better and be more empathetic?  
• How am I thinking only of myself and not considering the needs and desires of others? Have I considered how I have impacted those around me in negative or hurtful ways?
• How much am I being motivated by fear? Bitterness? Selfishness? Pride? Impatience? Am I being judgmental? Perfectionist? Maybe just not minding my own business?
  
• What boundary must I establish in order to make this relationship work again? Sometimes we are dealing with a wicked person who can derail our relationship with Christ and His purpose for our life. Sometimes we need to forgive but walk away to have peace. We need for pray for wisdom to see that clearly -- not just jump to that conclusion. Even in that case, we still must examine our own heart. 

Before we engage to resolve conflict, we can come to our heavenly Father first and examine our heart to discover our blindspots. Even if the relationship cannot or should not be restored, we can count on the Holy Spirit to empower us to forgive and find peace. 

Father, help me to stop and pray and examine my own heart, to be the first to confess my faults and in this way bring You glory. You desire peace and unity! I trust You will give me all the wisdom and courage I need. 

Oppression: Instruction and Retribution

After God freed the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt, He instructed them. 

And God spoke all these words:  

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. (Exodus 20:1-2) 

First God reminds them who saved them. Their Savior was God alone. It was not Moses. It was not by the strength or craftiness of the Hebrews themselves. It was God. As the story of the Hebrews continues, God repeats this over and over. Annually the Jews continue this tradition of repeating the story of God setting them free in their Passover celebrations.

Then God instructs them how to treat each other:

“If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything. If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him." (Exodus 21:2-3) 

God knows there will be rich and poor in the world. He does not deny that. There will be those who can afford to have servants, and those who need to be servants. But He wants justice. He wants to redeem. Service is temporary and has an end date unless the servants chooses to stay (see the following verses here, 4-7)

God also instructs them on how to treat foreigners: 

"Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt." (Exodus 22:21- 22)

It is human nature to look at people who are not like us and be suspicious. That is how the Hebrews became slaves in the first place (see Exodus 1:8-11). God reminds Israel of the pain of their own bondage and warns them not to inflict that on others. The Hebrews must live above that, in kindness with justice for all people. 

God continues to speak to them about selling and returning land:    

"In this Year of Jubilee, each of you shall return to his possession. And if you sell anything to your neighbor or buy from your neighbor’s hand, you shall not oppress one another. According to the number of years after the Jubilee you shall buy from your neighbor, and according to the number of years of crops he shall sell to you. According to the multitude of years you shall increase its price, and according to the fewer number of years you shall diminish its price; for he sells to you according to the number of the years of the crops. Therefore you shall not oppress one another, but you shall fear your God; for I am the Lord your God." (Leviticus 25:13-17) 

And about run away slaves:

“You shall not give back to his master the slave who has escaped from his master to you. He may dwell with you in your midst, in the place which he chooses within one of your gates, where it seems best to him; you shall not oppress him." (Deuteronomy 23:15-16) 

And about employed workers and their pay:

“You shall not oppress a hired servant who is poor and needy, whether one of your brethren or one of the aliens who is in your land within your gates. Each day you shall give him his wages, and not let the sun go down on it, for he is poor and has set his heart on it; lest he cry out against you to the Lord, and it be sin to you." (Deuteronomy 24:14-15) 

In all things, God requires the strong to care for the weak, the rich to be fair to the poor, the free to release the enslaved. 

 “Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless." (Exodus 22:22-24)

God hears the cry of the oppressed, His anger is aroused, and He will repay. God is clear in His instruction: justice and mercy is required of this people whom God had freed. And He outlines the penalty for their failure to comply. It is not a retribution paid with riches. It is paid in blood. 

The United States claimed to be one nation under God and yet it broke God's law of oppression. And the nation paid in blood. On March 4, 1865, as President Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address, he deemed the war casualties to be God's retribution on our nation.

 

"Fondly do we hope—fervently do we pray—that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the bond-man's 250 years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash, shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said 3,000 years ago, so still it must be said, "the judgments of the Lord, are true and righteous altogether". 

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations."

Even then, the nation continued to oppress people of color. God sees, God frees, and we continue to pay in blood.  The Lord raises up men like Lincoln and like Martin Luther King Jr., to save people from oppression, and yet we still revert back. We are just like the Judges...

Nevertheless, the Lord raised up judges who delivered them out of the hand of those who plundered them. Yet they would not listen to their judges, but they played the harlot with other gods, and bowed down to them. They turned quickly from the way in which their fathers walked, in obeying the commandments of the Lord; they did not do so. And when the Lord raised up judges for them, the Lord was with the judge and delivered them out of the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge; for the Lord was moved to pity by their groaning because of those who oppressed them and harassed them. And it came to pass, when the judge was dead, that they reverted and behaved more corruptly than their fathers, by following other gods, to serve them and bow down to them. They did not cease from their own doings nor from their stubborn way. (Judges 2:16-19) 

Who can save us? Only the Lord. We must trust in God alone. We must seek Him in prayer for our nation. We must obey His word to show mercy and justice for all the people. 

Beloved Father, save us again, we desire to repent before the bloodshed!

Oppression - What does God say about it? From the beginning

Racism. White supremacy. Oppressed people. Privilege. There is so much discussion. I have joined a group to talk about it, to learn about it. 

But what does God say about it? I don't want to cherry pick verses. I want to really listen. I want to hear God's heart for the oppressed. For those who are the oppressors. So I went back to the beginning and I looked to see what God thinks of oppression.

Moses, son of Israel, sentenced to death in Egypt and yet his mother hides him and then sets him afloat in the waters of the Nile. He is plucked out by a daughter of Egypt. As he grows in the palace of Egypt, he sees the oppression of his people and tried to fix it one day himself (Exodus 2:11-12) which turns out to be a disaster for him. 

Fast forward 40 years in exile, Moses meets God on the mountain in a burning bush. Here we first find the word oppression, coming from the mouth of God. The people who were oppressed? His nation, Israel. His intent? To save them. His tool? Moses.

"Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel has come to Me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them. Come now, therefore, and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt." (Exodus 3:9-10)

God's sees the oppression and desires to rescue them. 400 years have passed in Egypt already. God, for His own reasons, does not seem to be in a rush. God intends to use Moses to save the people, but in God's own time and in His own way. Not in Moses' time or in Moses' way. 

Moses is afraid. He is reluctant. He has questions, concerns. In the end he outright refuses. But God manages to use Moses anyway. Praise God.  

God is familiar with oppression. He hates it. He plans to fix it. But He has His own time and His own way. Maybe He will use me in my corner of the vineyard. 

I too am afraid. I am reluctant. I have questions, concerns and I can try to run away in frustration and confusion. Please God, use me anyway. 

And I will praise You.  

 

Call Out to Jesus

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Silvio passed away on Tuesday in the early morning. The hospital called us and said he was gone. 

Silvio was the youngest of four brothers. I met him when he was a teen, his head full of wild black curls, long as it was the custom in those days. He seemed awkward and shy until he grabbed someone's attention, like my dad who was a patient listener, and then he would talk on and on. 

 

As a boy, Silvio had an anxious heart and so he used repetition and he collected things, ordinary silly things like used cups and paper towels, to calm his heart. He grew more and more anxious until he had to quit high school and was never able to find a job he could handle. He spent his time at home, caring for his father, his mother, and the family pets. He fed stray cats and gave away things to neighbors who would stop by. He was a voracious reader and very smart but his quirky ways and shyness kept him isolated. 

One of the things that gave Silvio comfort was attending mass. It was on a return walk home from church in 2011 that he had a seizure so intense that he was taken to the hospital for the first time. It was a brain tumor. The tumor was removed but Silvio was never able to return home again. His body healed but his mind was confused and his anxious heart made him angry. 

Years went by and because Silvio was in a care center, Al and I actually saw him more. On these visits, we would listen to his complaints, his anxiety, his confused thoughts. We would bring him items he asked for, like notebooks, pens, vitamin C and materials to read. We would joke with him and show him photos of his nieces and nephews. I would take his arm and walk with him through the hallways of the center that was his home. 

And in his small room he would have a bible on his table and a few symbols of his faith. His TV was turned to the catholic channel, allowing him to attend mass from his room.    

Silvio's mind no longer had a good grip on reality. But that did not stop him from calling out, reaching out to Jesus.

The brain tumor never fully went away. It was removed two more times. This week, when symptoms returned, the tumor was too massive and it won. 

I have spent most of my adult life studying the Bible. It is important to me that I know Jesus deeply and understand His words to us accurately, and how He would want me to apply them to my life. I pursue this with passion and a desire to know truth.

But today as I read this passage of the blind man calling out to Jesus, I understand that all Jesus wants is for us to reach out to Him, to call out to Him for our comfort, for our healing, for His forgiveness. And when we turn to Him and call out to Him, He is delighted, He praises our faith, He heals us. 

 

Those who led the way rebuked the blind man and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to Him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” 

 “Lord, I want to see,” he replied. 

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God. (Luke 18:38-43)

Tonight, Silvio is with Jesus. He is standing straight and tall. He is not anxious but at peace and in his right mind. He has his full head of wild black curls. I look forward to meeting him again there, hearing his goofy laugh, walking with him, holding his hand. His faith has healed him. So let us also praise God.  

Engage

Some people are conflict enjoyers. Some are conflict avoiders. I have always been the avoider. I want people to like me. I want my family and friends to all get along. I want to keep the peace, so I make excuses, sidestep the argument, and convince everyone that it is all right. Even when it is not all right. 

But Jesus was not a conflict enjoyer or avoider. He engaged and resolved conflict. He taught: 

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” (Matthew 5:23-24) 

Our offering to God is less vital to our souls than our relationship with others. So what does He instruct us to do? 

Go and Be Reconciled. 

I don’t want to do this. Not when I am at fault. Not when I am sure they are at fault. Not when they are angry, nor when I am angry. I make all kinds of excuses. They will not listen to me. It’s all their fault. It is past the point of repair. But then I remember Paul’s words, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18) 

Jesus is our Peace

What does this mean? I must engage. If I am disturbed listening to other people’s grief, sorrow, disappointment or anger, if I refuse to listen to their side, if I want to fix things too soon for my own comfort, then I have failed to engage, and failed to bring peace. Instead of hiding, avoiding, ignoring, I must engage. Instead of arguing, manipulating, berating, pushing, I must use humility as I engage, listening to understand, assuming the other has good reasons and motives for their position, their beliefs, their actions. 

And it’s hard. It’s listening when it hurts. It’s opening up when I would rather run away. It is trying to empathize when I would rather support my position. It’s having the patience to trust the process, believing Jesus will reveal truth and write His best story as I obey His call to go and be reconciled. 

Engage. That’s my word for 2021. I am not good at it. But I want to get better. Only You, my Beloved Jesus can give me the power. But You have called me and so I must trust You can also empower me. 

For Christ himself has brought peace to us. (Ephesians 2:14)

Year of Suffering

This photo expresses 2020

Does God cause suffering? Or does He just look the other way? Why does He wait so long to stop it? Why do we have to suffer? 

2020 has been a year of suffering. We’re experienced political unrest, disease, racial division, cultural polarization, riots, murder, hurricanes, and wild fires. We’ve lost jobs, businesses, savings, homes, special events, holidays, public figures, close friends and family members. We’ve been isolated, depressed, afraid, angry, and confused. 

As the year drew to a close, there was renewed optimism. We have a vaccine, a new president, a new year. Certainly 2021 will be better. But will it be? Will all the negative aspects of 2020 somehow be trashed along with our old paper calendars? That would be nice! 

Sadly it does not work that way. The troubles of December will creep into January. When will it end? How will it end? 

For the people of Israel wandering in the wilderness from Egypt to the Promised Land, they knew how long their suffering was going to last. God had told them 40 years. That’s a good long time. So it is no wonder they were impatient and frustrated. It was towards the end of their journey that this story is recorded: 

They traveled from Mount Hor along the route to the Red Sea, to go around Edom. But the people grew impatient, depressed, and much discouraged because of the trials on the way; they spoke against God and against Moses, and said, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!” 

Then the Lord sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died. 

For the Israelites things went from bad to worse. In this case we know, because scripture tells us, who caused the suffering. It was God. He sent the snakes. Why was He making a bad thing worse? It is easy to blame God but let’s look again. The reason why the people are wandering 40 years is because in year two, they refused to enter the Promised Land when God led them there the first time (See Numbers 13). Here again they are rebelling against God and against Moses, the leader God has appointed to lead them. This is not the first rebellion. This is repeated theme all through the book of Numbers. So God, reminiscent of our own parents when frustrated with our misbehavior (“You want to cry? I’ll give you something to cry about!”), He intensifies their pain and demonstrated His power. His goal? To have them return to Him. And they do. 

The people came to Moses and said, “We sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray that the Lord will take the snakes away from us.” 

So Moses prayed for the people. The Lord said to Moses, “Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live.” So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze, they lived. The Israelites moved on and camped at Oboth. (Numbers 21:4-10) 

God forgives them immediately when they turn to Him. He also gives them an immediate way out. A snake on a pole. It does not make sense until Jesus Himself references it again in John 4:14-15, and then we see a foreshadowing to eternal healing, eternal salvation, eternal elimination of suffering through Jesus’ death on a cross. Unbelief was their sin. They did not trust that God saw their suffering, that He cared about them, that He was able to sustain them. They did not ask God to help them. They tried to fix it themselves by complaining to Moses. 

Unbelief is the big sin that interrupts God’s power on their behalf. He does not force Himself on anyone; they must turn to Him. Belief was what returned them to health, as they demonstrated their faith by looking at the bronze snake on the pole. Like the Israelites, God desires a relationship with us but He never forces us. We need to participate in the relationship by expectant faith. We must look to Him and trust He can heal us, our bodies, our country. That is our part of the relationship. And God’s part is to show Himself faithful. 

We are not used to suffering because life has been good to us and we are taught by our culture to expect life to be all up and to the right. We believe we alone have the power to make a perfect world. But that is a lie. 2020 has reminded us life is hard, unpredictable, and out of our control. Our efforts to fix our problems often have caused other troubles and made matters worse. Like in this Biblical account, trials come, and they certainly came for us in 2020. 

Like the Israelites, we will get bit. Suffering is part of life we can’t avoid and cannot fix ourselves. But there is hope because Jesus has come. He has been raised up on a pole so that all who look to Him attentively, expectantly, with a steady and absorbing gaze, will be healed. Then we will live and travel on. 

Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in Him.” For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:14-18) 

So did God cause our suffering in 2020? In this life, we may never know. Will God heal our bodies and our nation in 2021? We may not know that quickly either. Let us not forget that none of us make it out of this world alive. While Jesus did heal many when He was with us and He continues to heal to this day, He has a bigger goal than a physical one or than a political one. Jesus has come so we can be reconciled to God, and with that, we can be reconciled to each other. In this way, He brings His Kingdom, and His peace, to our earth. 

We can be sure that when we turn to Jesus in trust, Him will heal our hearts and make a better 2021.

A Covid Christmas

While I was looking for Christmas ornaments online today I found this one. My sentiments exactly: “2020 stink stank stunk!” 

It has happened already. Our family Thanksgiving celebration was impacted by covid. Usually my mother comes to stay at our home and we enjoy an extended weekend together celebrating her birthday as well as Thanksgiving. We often have a good crowd of 15 or so at our table. However since my mom is 92 years old and both our daughters teach young children in person daily, that large of a gathering was too much of a risk. Christmas does not promise to be much better. Isolation, fear, uncertainty has taken a toll on the most wonderful time of the year. 

But like the story of the Grinch, I remember that no illness or hardship or isolation can take away this holy day. Matter of fact, isn't the story of Jesus’ birth really about hardship and isolation? Mary and Joseph had great hardship as they traveled to a place far from their home. Plus Mary was in her final stages of pregnancy. I wonder, did she travel alone with Joseph, isolated from her mother, aunts, sisters and cousins who could have encouraged her, comforted her, directed and helped her as she gave birth for the first time? As her time came, she gave birth in a manger, really it was a cave, surrounded by animals and hay and cow dung. Finally, Mary’s story of giving birth as a virgin was something only believed by Joseph due to the divine intervention of a dream. It was considered “fake news” by many even today. 

The story of the first Christmas reminds us that the coming of Christ is not about decorations and presents. It is not about comfort and parties. It is about hope and light in the darkness. When we recall the truth of His story and we treasure it in our hearts, it is a light that no one and nothing can extinguish. 

Not even covid. 

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this Child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:16-20)

White Privilege

Lately some friends have been talking about feeling guilty of their #WhitePrivilege but I am looking at in a different way.

I want to talk about being blessed by God and so grateful for the mercies He has given me. Instead of being born in Italy where my grandparents grew up, I grew up in America. I was blessed to have a mother and a father who loved me and taught me about God. My father was hard working and encouraged me to work hard. We had everything we needed but not too much. My father loved my mother and his children. All that was a blessing. God continued to bless me with a loving, kind, hardworking, righteous husband and two healthy sweet daughters and a grandson. It was nothing I did. Yes, I was privileged, but I have no guilt. Instead I am thankful to my God for His unmerited favor towards me.

What do I do then? In the light of God’s mercy and kindness to me, how then should I live?

I extend God’s mercy to others. I listen to the woman whose daughter grew up feeling she was a man. I pray for the woman with the husband who is verbally abusive, whose father drank, whose husband has cancer. I care for my family, natural and spiritual. I open my home, feed them, and tell them about Jesus.

But I have been doing that, not because of protests in the street but because of my gratitude to Jesus. I pray God gives me the strength and wisdom to continue. Caring for others is a privilege as well! Those of us who have anything to be grateful for, let us give thanks to God, let us give thanks to each other. Let us pay forward the kindness to others in love.

This guy will be 14 in June. Our goal was to give him all good things.

And let us remember we can hate others not only because of their race. We can hate others because they believe differently, because they dress differently, because they have more or less than we do. There are so many reasons to hate, to stop listening, to be impatient and unkind. Let’s reject ALL the reasons to hate. Let’s side with Jesus' party.


Jesus answered him, If you would be perfect [that is, have that spiritual maturity which accompanies self-sacrificing character], go and sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; and come, be My disciple [side with My party and follow Me]. (Matthew 19:21, Amplified Bible)

Race. Prejudice. Everyone has a story.

Race. Prejudice. Hatred. Fear. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

This is my story. It does not start well, and it is longer than a 3-minute read, but I hope you will hang in with me because I think it ends well.

Actually this is more of a confession because I have been guilty of prejudice. When I meet people, I do judge them. But I now I remind myself that my first thought may be (probably is) wrong.

I was born in Newark in 1955 and grew up in Belleville in 1960-70s. Three of my grandparents were born in Italy. My father spoke only Italian until he started elementary school. He was a World War II vet and prejudice then was about Americans who came from other countries. My mothers told stories of the prejudice she received growing up in Belleville because she was of Italian decent. I was raised just as much an Italian as an American. Italian was spoken in my house as well. When I grew up, Belleville had become full of people just like me, Italian or Irish Catholics There was one black family in my neighborhood and he was different from us in the same way the Polish family was. The first Jewish person I met was in high school. As a teen, my father encouraged me to marry a nice Italian boy. Turns out that I did. My husband tells stories of the men he started working with, all from that greatest generation, joking together about the nationality of each other but it all was in good-natured fun.

Growing up we often went shopping in Newark, only minutes away from were we lived. My father grew up in Newark and worked there for years. My mother took me there for my first dancing lessons and for Easter dresses. It was a beautiful city at the time with large buildings, high-end stores and restaurants. But then things began to change.

Our Gio and his Grandpa fight racial prejudice with Ice cream

In July 1967, when I was 12 years old, there were riots in Newark. Many people died. I remember sitting in our living room watching it on TV but we also heard the explosions through the open windows on those hot summer nights. I shuttered in fear. As the poor black population in Newark grew and spilled into the near by towns of East Orange and Irvington, the wealthy whites moved away to the suburbs. The once beautiful city of Newark was scarred with burnt and broken buildings. We no longer went to Newark as we feared it was no longer safe. My father, who owned a hairdressing salon in East Orange was repeatedly robbed and eventually had to move the salon to Bloomfield. My husband who grew up in Irvington watched as the families of all his friends left town. His younger brothers dropped out of high school as it became a dangerous place for white boys. Truth be told, as a young woman I was afraid of groups of black young men. The thoughts would come into my mind: would they rob me? Hurt me? Rape me? I knew it was wrong to assume this but with what I had experienced, it became my reality.

College and my first job at IBM in the 1970s introduced me to many different kinds of people and when I talked to them, I saw they were just like me. When our daughters were growing up, it was a totally different world. In Fairview Elementary School in Bloomfield in the 1990s, it was like the United Nations. Immigrants from Germany, India, China and other Hispanic countries ended up in our school and our neighborhood giving our daughters the beautiful experience of all cultures. Our church in Montclair looked the same way with several interracial couples. We were grateful for that experience.

Even now, my first thoughts are still these others are not like me and I continue to fight it off. From experience I know if I engage with them, ask them questions, hear their stories, I find we are more alike than different. It is also true with people who are not in my economic level. Rich people may take better vacations and have nicer cars, but they still love their kids and worry about their elderly mothers just like me.

And yes, I have felt prejudice myself. As a woman, there were things assumed of me, things I could not do and yes that hurt. It deprived me of opportunities because of how God made me. I can’t change the fact I am a woman. I can’t study more, work harder, or gain more experience to make that go away. But then I can’t change that I am white either and the experiences that gave me more privileged than others.  

My concern for society today is we forget fear and hatred of other people groups have always been with us. Read Genesis and see the stories of Isaac and Ishmael and Esau and Jacob.  Brothers turn into nations who hate and war with each other. The first story of murder is between brothers. It has been with us from the beginning and is not going away because it is part of our sin nature. The government can pass better laws but ultimately can’t fix this because it is in our hearts. We can only do it ourselves, one by one by one.

How easy for us to see a news story about a black man being shot by two white men and think we have the answer. How can we? Did we engage with any of them? Did we ask these men questions, hear their stories? How can we be their jury? Why must we assume the black man was there to steal? Or the white men are bigots? Why, because that fits our internal narrative? Because there was a killing, there needs to be a trial, but let us leave the judgment to the jury who will hear the facts.

Yes prejudice is sin, but must we make the sin of prejudice and of being “white privileged” our “tax collector” sin? Must we make being a white man the same as being a Samaritan? When we do we have forgotten something very important. Who did Jesus come to save? Sinners. Who did Jesus tell us to witness to and serve? Sinners. Who are we? Sinners. 

As Christians, we don't judge the sinners. We love on them. 

Black or white, Italian or Irish, man or woman, rich or poor, let us not be quick to judge. Let us not assume the worst for either. Let us engage instead. Ask the questions. Hear the stories. Show kindness and patience and love. To all.

Paul tell us in Romans 12:20-21: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Race. Prejudice. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

When I am filled with shame

As we continue to talk about anxiety in this pandemic, one source of fear is the feeling of shame.

Yes, I know about shame.

It it in the memory of an action or a thought that is so dreadfully wicked I can hardly believe I did it, or even thought it. The worst ones are the ones I carried on for days, for months, for years even without turning back. I just went to the same dry well over and over again.

In his book, When I am Afraid, Ed Welch reminds us that "shame-filled people, when they really know Jesus, want to move towards Him... Jesus seemed to prefer them. He searched out the demon-possessed, lepers, and prostitutes." We can see this so clearly in one of my favorite Bible passages, Luke 7 of the sinful woman who came and anointed Jesus' feet during a dinner at Simon the Pharisee's house. This story so intrigued me that I wrote a back-story about it. But I digress.

And so I asked Him: Jesus, where were You when I was sinning? Were You standing in the corning facing the other way because You could not bare to watch? Were You repulsed? Disgusted? Angry? Disappointed?

And He said to me...

I was there, I did not run in the corner to hide. I was weeping for you and the pain your sin was going to cause you and these others that I dearly love.

I did not take away the desire for the sin but I did make you aware of the shame and the pain. And that kept you safe. I opened your eyes, closed that door, set you free, and put you on the path to healing. I saved you.

Welch continues, "whenever Jesus touched, or was touched by someone unclean, power flowed out of Him...taking the shame of the person onto Himself, and passing on His holiness onto the unclean person."

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown Me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven....Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:47-49, 50)

Father, thank You that You love me, saved me, healed me. You really did save me from my sin because You had a plan for my life, a beautiful plan, a deeply valuable plan, not as I wanted or saw it, but in Your better way. Thank you.Take now the last drop of my shame so I can serve You better, I can rest more freely, I can comfort others with the comfort I have been given from You, my Beloved, God-Hero, My Father-Forever, Prince of Peace.

When I am afraid

Covid-19. It is rapidly infecting thousands, overtaking hospitals, closing businesses, creating fear and death across the globe. Suddenly I find myself ending emails with “stay safe, stay well.” I check in on family more often and calling friends I have not seen in a while. I ask them how they are feeling, not only physically, but also emotionally. As for me, most days I am afraid. Very afraid.

But how is Jesus feeling during this crisis?

I awoke in the night, restless and started praying. And felt Jesus whispering to me His answer to my question. And He said to me…

To them it is numbers: how many masks, gowns and respirators. They count how many people are tested, how many are sick, how many die. Finally they count the black bags of the bodies piled into refrigerated trucks. They may be extremely concerned, motivated to stop the spread, find the cure. But still to protect their own hearts, they retreat to speak of the numbers, their projections, and their strategy.

But to Me, I see each heart, each soul. I formed all of them in their mother’s wombs. I know their families, their heartaches, their hopes and dreams dashed as weeks pass. I see their fear as they move from symptoms to sickness to death. I comfort their families. I protect some and let others slip away from life. I weep over each decision. I rejoice with each healing. I cannot turn off the news. I see all of the pain. I feel all of the pain.

These numbers are My beloved children and I take no joy in their fear and suffering. This is unspeakably hard for Me too. Even for the joy I know is on the other side, I also am with you and all of them during this trial. I am experiencing it with you.

2000 years ago we hung on those crosses going to die, all three of us, one on each side of Me. One chose to mock and criticize Me, telling Me how I should handle that crisis we all faced together. The other one chose to trust Me. All three of us experienced the same reality. We were all nailed on trees. We saw it, we smelt it, we tasted it. We felt each wound. We were all bleeding, barely breathing, in terror and agony. Then we all died. I died for you, and all my children, so you all could be with Me and My Father eternally. The two on each side of me died because of their own crimes. They chose their earthly fate but they also chose their own eternal judgment. It was from their own hearts: one trusted Me, one rejected and criticized Me.

All are going to die. Dear daughter, you too are going to die some day. There is no other way out of this life. The question is will you criticize My plan for your life, or will you trust Me?

Jesus, when I am afraid, I will trust in You.

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:39-43)

Trust Me

I started the year off with a silent retreat. Feeling like I had not truly heard from God in a while, I wanted time alone with Him. After I planned the day, other matters loomed and seemed urgent. But I felt Him calling me, “You made this date with Me, don’t stand Me up. Nothing is more important.”

I was searching for a word for 2020. In 2018 it was Listen, which led me to the word Patience in 2019. Looking deep into the roots of my needs and God’s desire for my good came Trust.

If I want to love God and others, I must trust Him.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:22-23)

It is our attitude, how we see the world that affects everything in our life, filling it with light or darkness. We must be aware of our beliefs and where we put our trust. We get to choose. What will we trust? Who will we trust? Whose party will we side with? Jesus never forces, only invites. Will we choose Him?

We always choose something.

 As I sat at the beach house in silence, I thought about trust. What or whom was I trusting? I trusted myself to drive to the beach house on a dark Friday night alone. I trusted my car to make it, my house to be ready, electric and heat working, my bed to be dry, the stove to heat the water for tea. I trust my husband to be faithful to me and to be there when I return. I trust my office and my job will be there on Monday and my boss to pay me at the end of the month. I do trust. But I can see these things. Like the ocean was blocked from view by the fog, I cannot see God. My attitude can be like the fog, hiding God from my view, and then from my life.

What is trust? The dictionary describes it as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. Trust is a verb, something we do. When we trust, we allow someone to have or look after something of value or importance to us with complete confidence.

As I searched the scriptures, I found the great men of God spoke of trusting God. They assured me God is worthy of my trust.

The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. (Psalm 28:7)

I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined to me.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust. (Psalm 40:1, 4)

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool

but whoever walks wisely will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26)

Fear of man lays a snare

but whoever trusts in the Lord will be safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

The Lord gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm

so always trust the Lord

because He is forever our mighty rock. (Isaiah 3-4)

Not only has God demonstrated He is worthy of my trust, but scripture tell us to not trust Him leads to sin and death. It means I have forgotten all He has done in history, on the cross, through the empty tomb and in my own life. Reading Psalm 78, I saw the perfect picture of the failure to trust God, as the excerpt below highlights…

The men of [Israel], though armed with bows, turned back on the day of battle;

They did not keep God’s covenant and refused to live by His law.

They forgot what He had done, the wonders He had shown them…

But they continued to sin against Him, rebelling in the wilderness against the Most High.

They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved.

They spoke against God; they said,

“Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?”

…

My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth…

Teach [your] children, so the next generation would know [God’s law]

Even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget His deeds

But would keep His commands.

(Psalm 78)

I am guilty Father! Instead of trusting You, I have trusted in other things:

• In my own wisdom and strengths – which You along have given me!
• In other people – who may love me but are too frail to carry the full weight of my needs.
• In my money, my job, my savings, my possessions – which I have seen can be swept away overnight.
• In my country, its military might, our long stable government – which recently looks much less stable!
• In medicine, doctors, diet fads, health information, vitamins, etc. – which cannot help me without You!

But what if instead, I ask questions of myself day by day, as I make choices, as I think my thoughts, as I worry on my bed, as I pray to You, Beloved…

• Why do I feel impatient, worried or afraid?
• What am I trusting in this matter? Am I trusting in God? Am I trusting in something or someone else?
• Why do I feel God is not worthy of my trust in this specific matter?
• What mighty deeds of God have I forgotten?
• What habits must I cultivate to trust God more?
• What habits must I STOP to trust God more?

What would my life be like at the end of this year if I learned to trust You more? Jesus, Beloved, I am looking forward to how You will be working in my life, as I cling to You.

“Truly I tell you,

unless you change and become like little children,

you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

(Matthew 182)