Our Authority, His Authority

I finished The Believer’s Authority by Kenneth E. Hagin this morning and in the morning there is always more clarity.

So here’s the Barbara Ruglio definitive word on the subject, free of charge because who would pay money for such….

I still think there is merit in some of this theory. We do have authority as believers. We have authority over sin and temptation in our life, thus Pastor Ed telling us to talk to it: “Temptation, you cannot have my future, my family or my faith!” Notice how we were not encouraged to address Satan and I think that is instructive.

I agree that if we do not exercise the spiritual gift of self control with the other fruits of the Spirit, that sin can overtake us in our lives. I believe we need to exercise authority in this area in our own lives and not wait for "Genie" Jesus to pour self control on us and make us want to stop sinning. We need to take the steps of authority, in a prayerful, discerning way, with the help of our sisters and brothers in Christ, dependent always on His power, but being pro-active in it.

I agree that our prayers change things. I believe in the power of prayer. I therefore must believe that when we fail to pray, we can fail to be healed, to overcome the sin in our own life, and to be Christ’s hands, feet and voice in redeeming the world.

I agree that the church, us as believers, are Jesus’ only plan to redeem the world. He has no “plan B.”

But God remains God, not matter what theories and theologies we may try to build around Him. He will do what He will do. After all, God is funny like that, He thinks He is God. And that is where not the “word” of faith comes in, but the “rest” of faith, if you would. We need to rest and find peace that God has it no matter what it looks like and continue to pray and serve and learn.

I believe that God hears our prayers and lovingly answers them, as a loving mother discerns the needs of her small child, understanding and effectively helping. When onlookers wonder what the kid is muttering, the mother knows. God knows us like that. There is no right way to pray. We only need to keep praying and as we exercise our prayer life, our conversations with God get fuller, richer, deeper. It is a growing relationship we want, after all, not religion.

And as for me, when I look for a pastor and a church where I can grow and serve and devote my life, I want to find one who is not focused on our authority and our words of faith, but on His Power, His Authority and His Words of truth and grace, of mercy and love.

And that is why I am at MCC.

Where she left me standing

Today I went back to the place where she left me standing.

I must have been about 10 years old. It was after CCD classes on a Wednesday late afternoon. And I stood there waiting with my younger brother.

We waited and all the other children got picked up or started walking home. We waited and waited, until we anxiously started to walk to the corner. That was as far as I dared to go because I did not know the way home.

I remember staring at the brick buildings. I remember wondering where she was and when she was going to come for us. I struggle to remember the feelings, because they defy words.

And one day, one of those waiting days on that corner, when it seemed like we waited forever and the sky was growing dark, one of those days I must have decided that I need not wait for her any more. Some day, I would be big enough and I would know the way home. I would learn it. I would be able to walk home and not wait for her at anymore.

And I did. I walked to school. I walked to dance classes. I walked to stores. I walked to church.

And when the laundry was never done, I started to do the laundry. And when dinner was never cooked, I learned to cook it.

I did it. And it was done.

I did not have to tell her and have her not listen. I would not have to hear her excuses. I would not have to wait on the corner and wonder. I could do it myself. I could be done.

I walked that way today. Past the church where I had CCD. Past the corner where I stood 40 years ago and waited. And from there I walked home.

Use my words, she tells me. But my words never helped. She never understood. She never said she was sorry. There was always a good excuse. And the next time, she always did it again.

Don't abandon me, she tells me. But when we can not talk about it, how can we compromise? How long can I wait?

Until I am done.

And one by one, I became done with everyone and everything. It can not go on like this.

Father, You have called me to a place where I must confront, I must stay and fix it. I can not be done and walk away, walk home. But I do not know what to do. What do I do, Father? Give me the words of truth. Help them hear. Help us compromise.

And You alone, My Beloved, will get the glory.

How Will They Know?

John 13:35
"By this all will know that you are My disciples,
if you have love for one another.”

We are called to love one another,
not to fix one another.

The Questions in My Heart

But it only takes one wrong person among you to infect all the others. I am trusting God to bring you back to believing as I do about these things. God will deal with that person, whoever he is, who has been troubling and confusing you.
(Galatians 5:9-10 LT)

Father, help me keep my eyes focused on You. Let me allow You to deal with all the questions in my heart.

Sometimes we ask the wrong questions. You have given us the answers to every question that is of You in Your Book, Your letters of love to us.
And we know, that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
(Romans 8:28)

The wrong questions lead us down rabbit trails of anguish and confusion. There are no definitive answers to these questions, they are not the ones to focus on. These questions take our focus off of Christ, His love, His provision, His purpose for our lives today.

Father, I desire to trust You, but it is so hard and my wounds, my wickedness gets in the way.

So Father please, help me to trust You.

For the Mom to Be

In Praise of a Good Wife: Proverbs 31

10 A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!

11 Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down.

12 She is good to him every day of her life...

20 and she helps the poor and the needy.

21 Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows.

22 She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.

24 She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners.

25 She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future.

26 Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful.

27 She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.

28 Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says,

29 "There are many good women, but you are the best!"

30 Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away,

but a woman who honors the LORD deserves to be praised.

31 Show her respect-- praise her in public for what she has done.

My Dear Christina,

You are about to embark on one of life's most wonderous journeys...the journey of motherhood.

It is a journey full of joy and sorrow, something that you will do by instinct and by diligent effort. It is something that you learned to do in the times even before you have memories, while I was mothering you. My prayer is that you will recall the best of what I poured into you and that our Father in Heaven will enpower you to overcome all that was not of Him.

As you begin, please consider my advice....

(1) Rely on prayer. God loves this baby much more than you do and is vested in his health, development and has great plans for his future. So pray for guidance when you are confused, pray for consolation and encouragement when you are overwhelmed and distressed, and pray for forgiveness when you make a mistake. God longs to give all these things to you freely and abundantly. But our Father is a polite God, He will not force Himself upon you. So seek Him out.

(2) Rely on friends. Diligently seek out other women with small children. Their company will encourage you, their example will teach you, their children will be your sons first friends. No one will understand your concerns and give you as much good advice and sensitive sympathy as other mothers. You will need this like you need air.

(3) Rely on your instincts. While it is good to get advice from other women, it is important to know that the best person to decide what is best for your son is you and Manny. This may have been a surprise to us, but God knew about it all along and He purposefully put this baby inside of you long ago and will give you everything you need to raise him. Every child is different. The best person to decide for your son is you.

(4) Be kind to yourself. Feed the mother first. Get enough rest. Take care of your needs. A sick, tired, grumpy, hungry mother is not a good mother. Taking care yourself is very important to the care of your baby.

(5) Don't forget the Daddy. Take time to nourish your relationship with Manny. In the craziness and confusion, you can forget about him. In the physical care for your child, your need for affection will diminish, but his will not. Be nice to him. You need him.

And remember, the answer to the question is always yes, no matter what, I love you!

Mom

For I wait for You

Psalm 25: 1, 3, 7, 11, 20, 21

To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul…
Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed…

Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions;
According to Your mercy remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O LORD …

For Your name’s sake, O LORD,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great…
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You…
For I wait for You.


He said to me…

I forgive you
I have redeemed you
I have not rejected you
Wait for Me

There is another who would steal my heart

Psalm 44
4 You are my King, O God…
5 Through You we will push down our enemies;
Through Your name we will trample those who rise up against us.
6 For I will not trust in my bow,
Nor shall my sword save me.
7 But You have saved us from our enemies,
And have put to shame those who hated us.
8 In God we boast all day long,
And praise Your name forever.

There is another, My Beloved, who would steal my heart. He woos me, he wants me, not to have me, Beloved, but to steal me from You.

And although You will not let him have all of me, he is content to take what he can get. To deter me from Your presence, Your service, Your peace and Your love.

And I cannot withstand him, no. He is too smart for me. He masquerades as an angel of light and pretends he is my friend.

But he hates me. He would destroy me.

I cannot withstand him, My Beloved, but You can. I will not trust in my strength, but in You alone.

Protect me, My Beloved, from him. You are victorious, the One who conquered even death itself. Cover me with Your blood so that I may be forgiven. Hold me close and whisper Your truth to me. Do not let me go. Let me feel Your heart, let me feel You, closer than my breath.

He cannot have me. I am Yours.

What my mother taught me

Barbara, it is your job to guard your virture. No one else can be trusted to do this. It is for you to do alone.

Men are wired to conquer your virtue, not to protect it. All men. There are no exceptions. It is up to you to guard your body and your mind and your heart.

We guard our virtue for our Beloved alone, not for any man. We guard our virtue because our Beloved is a jealous Lover. He would have us to have none before Him, none beside Him. We cannot hide from Him in darkened rooms, behind closed doors. All is laid bare before Him, every look, every touch, every breath, every longing of our heart.

So, Barbara, guard your virtue with all diligence. The penalties are woesome but the rewards are sweet.

What I learned in dancing school

Don’t watch the other girl’s feet. When she makes a mistake, you’ll follow her.

When she makes a mistake, the best thing to help her is to keep dancing. Then she can watch you to catch up.

When you make a mistake, keep dancing. You can catch up but once you stop, you’re done.

Keep your mind on your dance, not on what is happening later that night, or what happened that afternnoon. You need your mind to dance, as well as your feet.

Don’t think about the steps you can’t do well yet. Focus on how much better you were than when you started.

Do not be dismayed by the looks of the chubby girl in the mirror. Many people think she is cute just the way she is.

Redirected, Not Rejected

Psalm 23:4I may walk through valleys
as dark as death,
but I won't be afraid.
You are with me,
and your shepherd's rod makes me feel safe.

They may reject me, but You, My Beloved, do not
You stand beside me, Your arm around me

They may ignore me, but You, My Beloved, hear each silent word of my heart
My head rests on Your chest, I listen for Your heartbeat

You may use your rod to redirect me
But never to reject me.

And I desire to go where You lead me,
Even threw the valley, if it is Your will.
Because there is no place as dark as the place
I end up when I wander away from Your leadings.

Lead me with Your voice.
Lead me with Your rod.
Lead me with their rejection, if You must
But lead me.

Lead me, My Beloved, I am Yours.

I am Yours.

He has come for me

My Beloved has rescued me!
He has heard my cry
He has had pity on my plight
He has scaled the wall
A mighty wall He has lept

He has come to me
And lifted me up
Carried me to high ground
Above the rising tide
Out and over

I can see them now
They are of no consequence
In the fullness of time
He has come for me
My Beloved, My Hero, My Lord

"He has made everything beautiful in it's time..." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Where can you find me?

It's easy to find me.

I am usually standing at the sink. Yes, really. No matter where I am, if there is a sink, that's where I will be, washing dishes, putting dishes away, cooking and making more dirty dishes. No matter if I am at work or at home, or at someone else's home, I'll be at the sink.

Maybe because I am a mom.

Or, I'm in my car. I often have one or two teenagers with me, although I have been known to have 7 in my car (it's a 5-person car, you understand). Watching them all exit is like a comedy routine! My car is so old. (how old is it?) It's so old that when my daughters and friends started writing on the back seats and ceiling, I didn't care, because when I am done with this car, I am only going to throw it away. Actually, I kinda like some of it, especially the "I love Mrs. R -- Big John" on my sun visor.

Maybe because I am a mom.

Or, I'm at my PC. I love my PC. I can talk to all my friends on IM... Ok, maybe I only have a few that actually sign on that much because I am so old.

Maybe because I am a mom.

Or, I am at my kitchen table with my three of my Bibles and my journal, talking to My Beloved. He encourages me, comforts me, instructs me, weeps with me. I pray a lot these days.

Maybe because I am a mother of teenagers.

Yep, that would be it.

What was I thinking?

I have lost my mind. What was I thinking? That anyone would care to read my ramblings.

But I know that My Beloved wants to hear all. Tune it and you'll hear more about Him.