Sheila Fields on Motherhood

On Mothers Day 2013, a panel of women shared their thoughts on Motherhood at Montclair Community Church (MCC).

One of those women was Sheila Fields, mother of six adult children, one of them was Pastor Joe Fields, a Youth Pastor who died at the age of 31. I attended this service because I wanted to hear what Sheila had to share, which was amazing. She gave me her permission to share her talk. Sheila is a woman of great insight, wisdom and wit. Enjoy and be blessed. Thank you Sheila, for sharing your heart with us!   

What do you enjoy the most about being a mother? What are some of your greatest joys?

To me, having babies was like winning the big lottery. I loved each stage; the infants, the adolescents, the teens (not my favorite) the young adults and the grown adults. It all went by too fast. I am glad to have this opportunity to reminisce about all the precious moments I enjoyed with my children.

However, it also brought back moments of some regrets. I made mistakes. I have a list of "wish I could do over" moments. I regret how I handled many situations but even more I regret words spoken and mostly words not spoken. I'm sorry I didn't teach my children to have a faith that views the prize of eternal life with Christ as the most important thing in their lives.

The greatest joys were in the small things, the cute things they say, the drawings and papers to hang on the fridge, the surprise hugs and kisses. Weddings and babies are life's biggest joys.

What are some of your daily struggles in motherhood?

Letting go. You have to allow your children to make their own mistakes and learn how to resolve them.

Is there anything you wish someone would have told you before you became a mother?

I was the best mother to my dolls. I thought I had the job down pat. I soon learned that you can't hold your babies upside down by one leg or throw them in the toy box for days on end until you're ready to play with them again. I wish I had been more prepared. I wish I knew how hard and exhausting it was going to be. I wish I had been more mature.

What is the best practical advice you've ever received about mothering?

It's not original and I'm sure you've heard expressed different ways. I say it this way "Discipline to teach not to punish, discipline from love never from anger." I've tried to pass this on to my children who are now parents.

What has been one of the greatest challenges you faced in motherhood?

As I've said I'm very proud of all my children, they have grown into lovely, loving, good, descent human beings. I don't mean to slight any of my other children, I could talk to you about the specialness of any one of them for hours, days maybe. But today I want to talk about my youngest son, Joseph. Joseph was a child who taught his mother more than she ever taught him. He was the son who God used to give his mother a testimony. Joseph was the child who gave his mother the best gift EVER, the gift of authentic faith.

Many of you knew him. Around here he was known as P.J. or Pastor Joe. He was the youth pastor here at MCC until his death on December 17, 2005 at the age of thirty-one while undergoing his third liver transplant. It's been almost seven and a half years. Jerry and I were blessed with very good children. I don't take any credit, they just came that way, and Joe was beyond belief. I don't think he ever said "no" to us. He had some health issues as a baby and then he was going along pretty well until high school where two momentous things happened (1) he had a born-again experience (2) he was diagnosed with ulcerated colitis. He had surgery for the colitis which at first seemed successful but then took a turn for the worst. The doctor said they would see what they could do, they did not expect him to make it BUT, guess what? God (your God, my God, the one and only true God) had other plans. Joe recovered and was fine until his liver disease presented itself.

We didn't use the term in those days but, Joe had a bucket list. Our good God delivered big time and Joe was so grateful. He got to go to Moody Bible Institute and become a Youth Minister, he met the love of his life, married and had a child - so many joys he never thought possible.

After Joe's born again event, he never looked back. He lived every waking moment for the glory of God. As a youth pastor he greatly influenced dozens of young people and he was a great witness to all who knew him including his own parents. He was the best Christian I've ever known. I don't expect to ever meet another like him.

I always considered myself a Christian but now, looking back, I would describe my early Christian walk as a Christian zombie. We all know them: a stagnant walk, no growth. This passage from Isaiah 29:13 sums it up pretty well: “The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’” As I observed the way Joe lived his faith I wanted his kind of faith, I wanted my faith to grow. I wanted to know the Bible. In the church I grew up in, we were not encouraged to read the Bible, in fact, it was discouraged. Now I view that as criminal! I had no idea of how much I was missing. Before he died my heart was already changing.

When he died I knew I couldn't have loved him more but I didn't shed a tear. Jerry and I knew that in all probability Joe was not going to have a normal lengthily life so we had been somewhat prepared but my reaction was totally unexpected. I was filled with the most wonderful peace. I believe it was the peace that God promises in Philippians 4:6-7 where it says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I was happy for Joe because his suffering was over. I believe that no matter how well you knew him, you never knew how much he suffered. He never complained and he never said why me?

Joe was prepared to die. I might even say he was looking forward to it. He believed all that our faith teaches us. He knew of God’s promise of victory over death. He knew God promises His people eternal life. I also embrace those beliefs. I thank God for comforting us with the knowledge that he was with the Lord. Of that we had no doubt.

And how have the Promises of God impacted me in the challenges of motherhood?

God has comforted me in my distress, He has helped me with my burdens, He has given me wisdom in my challenge, He has given me strength in my difficulties and He has provided me with peace regardless of the troubles I faced. Are you kidding me, I have learned to trust God with everything.

I hope I was able to convey what I wanted to get across. I talked a lot about Joe but, it wasn't about him, it was about me.

I am transformed because God used my son to open my eyes to authentic faith and how to get it. I am covered in God's grace like hot fudge on ice cream. I am filled with the Holy Spirit. I am a new creation. If you've known me for any length of time, I don't look any different but, if you could see what the potter has done with the clay that was my heart and soul, you would behold a beautiful sight.

I am a happy mother today, I am the mother of six fantastic, special, wonderful children and I am a child of God. Could anyone be more blessed then that?

To read more about PJoe, click here. 

The Gift

On my desk when I returned from lunch I discovered a gay yellow wrapped gift with luscious chocolate truffles inside. What is this, I wondered? Lori, the VP of Management, gave me a gift for Administrative Assistant’s week. This sweet gesture was unexpected and certainly undeserved from my perspective, as I support another executive.

Aren’t those the best gifts? The ones we don’t expect and don’t deserve?

Peter tells us: His divine power has freely given to us everything we need for a life of godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called use by His own glory and might by means of which He has freely given to us His precious and splendid promises, so that through them you may escape the corruption that is in the world caused by sinful desire and become partakers of the divine nature. (2 Peter 2:3-4).   

God gives us everything we need, not just for a plain old ordinary life, but to live a life like Jesus did: a god-like, glorious life. We are welcome at Jesus’ table to partake in His nature. I love that word, “partake” like we get to be on His team, be invited to His party. 

This is what God has given to us when we believe in His Son Jesus. The Holy Spirit is freely given to us. It is unexpected and undeserved. It is extravagant and exhaustive. It is everything we need.

And what do we do with such a gift? As for the truffles, I opened them and ate them, of course! Later, I shared some with some of the other women in the office.

Some gifts end up in the back of a closet, or even in the garbage. We lose them, break them, re-gift them.

Like all gifts, God’s Holy Spirit is meant to be used and enjoyed. The Christian life is about just plain ordinary people tapping into the extraordinary power of God. Ordinary people like me. Like you. We don’t try harder to live a godly life. We merely grow closer to God, by staying in relationship with Him by prayer, reading His Word, meeting and worshipping together, serving others together. As we stay close to God, He transforms us.

God wants to transform you too. Have you stayed close enough to Him to let Him? Have you opened your gift?

More on opening your gift, click here.

Read what Peter said yourself: 2 Peter 1:1-11

The True Grace of God

What is the grace of God anyway?

Growing up, I associated “grace” with Mary, the mother of Jesus. “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women...” The repeated prayer convinced me grace was something extraordinary Mary had. She was favored by God, unique, perfect, something I could never live up to.

Later I discovered the Bible revealed Mary was surprised and afraid when the angel Gabriel came to her and announced she would give birth to the Messiah. It was Mary’s cousin Elizabeth who greeted her with those words when she went to visit her for understanding and comfort. While Mary was a good woman of great faith, she was not chosen because she was flawless.

When we accept Jesus as our Savior we all receive this blessing called the “grace of God.” It is a free gift. Like Mary, none of us receive it because we deserve anything from God. Grace is “the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.” I found this definition on Google just now, so it must be true, right?

Peter gives us a more complete definition of grace.

Peter’s purpose for writing is reveals in this last chapter: I have written to you briefly, encouraging you and testifying that this is the true grace of God. God’s grace is not merely a free gift to us. It is a gift we receive to give to others. Throughout the book Peter explains how to use grace:

• Have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22)
• Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. (1 Peter 2:17)
• All of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing (1: Peter 3:8-9)
• Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
• Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)
• Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. (1 Peter 4:10)
• Those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1 Peter 4:19)

This is not easy. Therefore Peter reminds us to be diligent and watchful. Be alert and of sober mind, he repeats three times (see 1 Peter 1:13, 4:7, 5:8). As we continue to pay attention and grow in our faith, the Lord will empower us to use the gift of grace He gave us for others. When we stay close to Jesus as we walk through life, the fruit of love will bloom.

Saturday’s sunshine enticed hundreds of people to walk, bike, and lounge under the blossoming trees in Branch Brook Park. The trees were graced with gorgeous flowers, but not for the trees. Everyone nearby enjoyed the beauty. So it should be with our lives. God gives grace to us and surely we are blessed, joyful, to be envied. But it’s not for merely for us. Everyone nearby should enjoy the beauty of God’s grace manifested in our lives.

This is the true grace of God.

If they do not believe

1 Peter Chapters 2 and 3

How do you draw an unbelieving husband towards faith?

This is a question heavy on my heart, not only because it is an issue for many of my friends, but also because it was my concern for years. I came to faith and then waited 18 years for my husband to make a commitment to Christ. During that time, I read and re-read these words from Peter as if he had written them especially for me.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Note Peter does not recommend a straight-on Evangelical technique. He does not urge wives to share the four spiritual laws or the ABC’s of faith. Peter does not tell us to sign our husbands up for ALPHA or some other spiritual activity. I tried all those things with my husband Al with no immediate success. No, Peter’s advice is to love our husbands by submitting to them.

As we continue to read his letter, Peter is consistent, no matter who he is talking to:

• Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives (1 Peter 3:7)
• Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters (1 Peter 2:18)
• Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors (1 Peter 2:13-14)
• Be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil … repay evil with blessing (1 Peter 3:9)

Submit - be considerate - repay even evil with blessing. Why would Peter say that? What about when the husband is dead wrong? When he is doing something clearly hurtful to his wife or to his children? Surely we are to speak up then? He’s the one who’s the unbeliever! Hello?

No offense, ok, but why are we convinced we are always the one in the right and they are the one who needs to change? Honestly, I am talking to myself here as well. Why can’t we allow them to make their own choices (which they will anyway!) and choose to do right ourselves, no matter what they are doing?

Let me repeat: our response is our responsibility. Are there ways we can serve our man with integrity? Are there areas where we can defer to them and say “I don’t want to but because you want to, I will”? Can we put his needs before our needs? Can we forgive the hurts? Can we consider how he must feel? Can we stop judging him, repeatedly pointing where he is wrong?

Peter pulls out the trump card with the example of Jesus’ life.

Photo by Caroline Pierce

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps... When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly.

Jesus was able to submit to the cross because He trusted God the Father to vindicate Him.

• He did not trust His disciples to stand by Him – they did not.
• He did not trust the religious leaders to give Him a fair trial – they did not.
• He did not trust the Roman governor to see through the schemes of the Jewish leaders and release Him because He was innocent – he did not.
• He did not trust the Roman soldiers to be gentle with Him because He was not rude to them – they did not.

EVERYONE did wrong to Jesus, and not just a little wrong. They betrayed Him, beat Him, spit on Him, mocked Him, and nailed Him to a tree.

Jesus submitted because He trusted God.

Peter invites us to do that too.

Sure, if there are people being hurt, there need to be boundaries. And sure, we are to use words to share the gospel…

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

Love people by serving them with humbleness and kindness. Trust God because He’s got this. That is the bottom line. I think this works with not only husbands but also teens, co-workers, neighbors, and extended family members.

“He himself bore our sins” in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness… the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer…

How do we die to sin and live for righteousness? Submit to others. Even our husbands. Even when they can’t be trusted. Because we can trust God.

For how it turned out for me and my husband, click here.

Not my true home

1 Peter 2:11-25

The first thing we saw when we walked in was the fireplace flanked on each side with beautiful wooden bookcases. It was love at first sight and we bought it. Almost 30 years later this remains my favorite place in our house. Al and I love to sit in front of the fireplace in cozy Queen Ann chairs, a cup of tea on the nearby table and a good book in our laps.

As much as we love our house and have tried to make it comfortable for us and welcoming to family and friends, Peter reminds us, this is not our true home.

I love how The Message says it: Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Even better is the ERV: Dear friends, you are like visitors and strangers in this world. So I beg you to keep your lives free from the evil things you want to do, those desires that fight against your true selves.

When we forget that this is not our home, we feel angry when things aren’t fair. When government officials overtax us or the local municipality over-regulates us we grow indignant. By getting caught up in where we live, in trying to make it pleasant for our family, we get distracted from our primary goal as followers of Christ: His Kingdom come. We complain, blame, and sometime cheat, because after all, this is OUR home so we should be able to do as we please.

Peter tells us: For the Lord’s sake, submit to all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials He has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you.

I think this is easier to do when we remember we are just passing through; it’s not our home anyway. We must respect authority for Christ’s sake, not for the person who is making the laws.

Recently we moved our office and my boss encouraged me to make my mark on the barren dusty desk that greeted me on my first day. So I placed my beloved family photos around and settled in. But don’t be deceived, Peter reminds me, it is not the man in the corner office who I am serving. I am serving Jesus. Like my home, I can get too involved in my work, becoming possessive about it, forcing my ways on others because “my way is better.” I can feel entitled to slander my boss or gossip about co-workers because, after all, this is my job, they are messing up my work and therefore they deserve it.

Even when the boss and co-workers act foolishly or our clients treat us badly, we do not have to act in kind. No matter what the other person does, our response is our responsibility. We can still submit to authority, be respectful and kind even when the other person does not deserve it. Like Jesus we can trust God to work things together for good.

It is not about the person in authority at all! It is all about me and Jesus. I serve, submit and do right for Jesus, because I trust Him. It has nothing to do with what others are doing.

Father, help me take the time to pause and pray before I react, gathering wisdom and strength from You. Allow me to see the other person’s perspective. Free me to serve because You are worthy, You can be trusted and You love me. And I will give You all the glory.

the price of reconciliation

1 Peter 2:1-10

So then, stop doing anything to hurt others. Don’t lie anymore, and stop trying to fool people. Don’t be jealous or say bad things about others.

Sounds simple right? Don’t say bad things about other people. It would be easy -- if I just put duct-tape over my mouth.

Now they are together and they smile.
Later they will talk behind each other's backs.

I find women are drawn to disparage other people. It is natural for us. We bond by talking about relationships. We share our feelings. We empathize and encourage each other. We work things in our hearts and minds by talking. We need to be honest and share about our relationships. We’re just being honest. Right?

Wrong. It’s sin. It is bad to say bad things about others, even if it’s true.

We are called to be living stones, with Christ as a cornerstone. God desires to use us to build a spiritual house. If our words break down relationships with one another, how’s that going to work out?

We are called to be priests, leading others who are far from God towards reconciling with Him. How’s that going to work out when we cannot even reconcile with each other?

Why do we find ourselves having conflicts with our husbands and then talking about that with our girl friend? When our teens disappoint us, why do we call our sister? When the boss irritates us, why do we complain to a co-worker? Is it because we want to resolve the conflict? Hardly. It’s because we want sympathy. We want someone to comfort us and tell us the other person is wrong and we are right. Or is it only me?

Peter tells us “you were saved from that way of living. You were bought, but not with things that ruin like gold or silver. You were bought with the precious blood of Christ’s death.” (1 Peter 1:18-19) Our reconciliation with others is also bought at a price. We pay it with humility and sacrifice. Maybe we need to forgive. Maybe we must muster the courage to confront the person who has hurt us. Whatever the price we have to pay, Jesus paid a higher price.

What do we do when we find ourselves with a friend who is talking badly about others?

• We can say something positive 
• We can change the subject
• We can walk away
• If it is a sister in Christ, we can gently correct and redirect her to the person with whom she needs to reconcile.

To indulge in the conversation and offer only sympathy and reassure them they are right may derail reconciliation and ruin relationships.  Besides, let's face it, what we say about others says more about us than them.

Beloved, it is easy to see this now as I sit alone at my keyboard. Remind me again when I am hurt, disappointed, or frustrated. Remind me You have paid the price for me. Give me the strength to turn away from sins of the tongue. I can’t do it myself obviously! I need Your help. When I am in conflict please give me the courage to talk to the right person and the humility to be kind. I will give You all the glory.

What do you think about Jesus?

Peter was a fisherman when he met Jesus. At first, Peter was merely curious about Jesus, but after He provided a miraculous catch of fish, Peter became a follower. Peter followed Jesus and watched Him heal the sick, lame and blind. He experienced Jesus feeding thousands with a lunch for one. He was there when Jesus cast out demons and walked on water. Peter watched as Jesus brought dead people back to life. Finally, he witnessed Jesus’ resurrection and return to heaven. 

But Peter also ate with Jesus and slept beside Him. He saw Jesus sweat, sigh, laugh, cry, and bleed. Peter felt the grasp of His hand, saw the smile of His face. Peter knew who Jesus was.

Scholars think Peter was a teen when he encountered Jesus. A natural leader, Peter became a prominent advocate for the church. Towards the end of his life, Peter wrote letters and told us who he learned Jesus is and therefore who we are as His followers. 

…It was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified Him…(1 Peter 1:18-21)

God created us like Himself, with free will. His intent was to have a loving relationship with us. We were born free to choose to love God, or not. However, choosing not to love God leads us away from God and ultimately away from each other too. Knowing we would stray like a rebellious teen, God always had a plan. Jesus was God’s plan, from the very beginning, even before He created the world.

That is so amazing to me. It is difficult to wrap my mind around how an awesome and infinite God would love us that much. He knew the pain and the price He would have to pay to create me and then save me, yet He created me anyway. 

He created you anyway too.

It is easy to buy into the fuzzy image of Jesus we see in movies and photos. Jesus is portrayed as a mild-mannered Clark Kent, long hair and long robe with children on His lap. Yes, that is Jesus: loving, gentle, kind. But like Superman, the mild exterior is covered a great strength and purpose. Beyond the Babe in the manger is God who existed before time. Word and pictures fail to describe Him in all His grandeur. 

Who is Jesus? Peter, who walked with Him, will tell us more. It is important that we know.


Father, Your love is so amazing, so beyond what we can comprehend. Help me see You more clearly. Allow me to be astonished by You today! 

Snapshot

The Book of Job, Chapter 42

What does this room tell us about it's owner? Would you say she is sloppy? Disorganized? Careless? Immature?

You'd be wrong. My daughter Debbie is not age 5 or even 15. She is 25. Debbie is one of the most organized people I know. As a girl she would line up her folded socks in the drawer in a single line in color order. Careless? Not a bit! She cares deeply what people think about her to a fault. She is always impeccably groomed; her outfits well put together and her make up flawless.

So, why on earth does her bedroom look like a bomb went off?

Because it's a snapshot, and snapshots only give us a point-in-time view of reality. It is not enough to tell us what is really going on. 

Debbie is a teacher on her winter break. She is in the process of deep cleaning her room and I caught it in the middle of the process. We did this one day together, sorting out her clothes closet. We took EVERYTHING out of her closet, considered each dress, shirt, shoe, and undergarment before sorting each item into save/discard/give-away piles. In the middle of it most of the contents of her drawers and closet were on the bed, on my lap, on the floor. However, when we were done, the room was not merely surface clean. It was completely clean. 

Life is like that. Sometimes in the middle of the process things look like more of a mess than ever, but in fact, buried emotions are surfacing, old wounds are healing, spiritual dullness is being scrubbed away. It may look like a disaster on the outside but that is merely a snapshot, only a slice of the process we must go through to be the best we can be. 

Snapshots only reveal the external of where we are right now, but cannot tell who we will be. Sometimes things stay dormant for a long time, like this ocean front lot. It was an adorable cottage before the waves of Superstorm Sandy splintered it into pieces. The house was removed, leaving this sad little sign.  For over a year the sign sat in the empty lot, a symbol of storm's devastation and the community's struggle to rebuild. 

This past weekend, we were at the beach again inspecting progress of the community and behold, there was the sign but now there is the beginnings of a new home around it. Suddenly hope and the house is blooming like spring. 

The misery we saw in the Book of Job was merely a small segment of his life. Before the story began, the Lord had greatly blessed him. As the story concluded, we see Job received a double blessing.

The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; and he had 14,000 sheep and 6,000 camels and 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys. He had seven sons and three daughters...After this, Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons and his grandsons, four generations. 

At first, I could not find peace after the loss of Job's children, even though he did have ten more children later. Now I see I was looking from an earthly perspective. From the perspective of heaven, Job's children were not lost to him eternally, only temporarily. They were waiting for him in heaven. From God's viewpoint, Job was granted a double blessing of children too, because the first, although separated from Job, were never lost. 

Often, my life looks like my daughter's untidy room: disorganized and out of control. Or it resembles the barrenness of the empty seaside lot. But that is only a snapshot, a point-in-time. As God provided incredible blessings for Job, I am trusting God for great blessings in my life. He's just not done with me yet.

He's not done with you either.     

Beloved, even though life has it's bumps, messes, and absolute disasters, help me to remember You have a plan, You are not done, and I can trust You with my life, even when I cannot see and cannot understand.

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

The Purpose of God



The Book of Job, Chapters 31-42

Why have bad things happened to me?

Job has been asking this question. His friends said Job brought these things on himself and God was punishing him. However Job does not agree.

a bad thing that happened to me
in October 2012

Look, I will sign my name to my defense.

Let the Almighty answer me.

Let my accuser write out the charges against me.

I would face my accusation proudly

I would wear it like a crown.

For I would tell him exactly what I have done.
I would come before him like a prince. (Job 31:24-37)

Then an amazing thing happened. God responded to Job, but not with reasons. Instead, God presented Job with questions of His own:

Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?

Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east?

Where is the home of the east wind?

Who created a channel for the torrents of rain?

Who laid out the path for the lightening?

Who provides food for the ravens when their young cry out to God and wander about in hunger?

Is it your wisdom that makes the hawk soar and spread its wing toward the south?

For four chapters God continued His questions to Job, making His point: you are without the knowledge required to question My ways and My motives. In the end Job agrees:

I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me...

I had only heard about You before, but now I have seen You with my own eyes.

I take back everything I said and sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.

In summary: God knows best. We cannot accurately discern His purposes. We need to trust that He is good and faithful.

Does this answer satisfy you?

Me neither.

One of the questions I had when we started looking at Job was why it took 42 chapters to get to this simple point. I concluded it is because grief is a journey and we must walk it, not rush it. God speaks up in chapter 38 but He could have answered anywhere in this process. He was not required to answer at all because, as He pointed out so eloquently at the end, He is God and will do as He sees fit. Job needed to ask the questions and go through the gambit of feelings to be able to accept the truth at the end.

God did not rush Job through the process in order for it to be over sooner. As a mom, I am sure watching Job suffer was painful for God as well. Only a parent knows the truth of "this will hurt me more than it does you" intimately. God was angered by the lies told by Job friends and how those who should have consoled Job made it more painful for him. But God did not push to resolution before the time was right.

We can learn by God's example. We can't rush ourselves or others through the process of recovering from pain. The stages of grief: denial, anger, blaming and bargaining are all valid, necessary, and cannot be set aside. We cannot quicken the process by giving a pat answer, even the right one. We must walk the entire journey. Regardless of our feelings, God is there with us each step. God is already there on the other side where we emerge with acceptance and prepared to receive His peace.

We have also seen something very important: the process of grief, when we go through it with faith, provides an insight to God we never would have had otherwise. Job declares, I had only heard about You before, but now I have seen You with my own eyes. For Job, this insight into God made all the difference.

Who knows the purposes of God? Perhaps part of the reason for Job's suffering was so we can see the workings of God and be encouraged and comforted.

Beloved, we see Your answer, but it is not one we should give to others too soon. Truth without empathy is not kindness. It is not Your way. Even though You restored Job's health, doubled his wealth, and gave him more children, even this is not enough for a broken heart. A broken heart needs time to mend. Thank You for Your patience with us. Help us show each other patience. Help us to have patience with ourselves. Help us to reach for You as Job did. You did not punish Job for questioning Your ways. You rewarded him with Your presence. You are a rewarder of those who diligently see You.

Withholding Kindness

The Book of Job, Chapters 6-19

Job had already lost his livelihood, his ten children, and his health. With heartbreaking honesty, Job described how his pain increased as even his surviving loved ones scorned and abandoned him.

My relatives stay far away, and my friends have turned against me.
My family is gone, and my close friends have forgotten me.
My servants and maids consider me a stranger. I am like a foreigner to them.
When I call my servant, he doesn’t come; I have to plead with him!
My breath is repulsive to my wife. I am rejected by my own family.
Even young children despise me.
When I stand to speak, they turn their backs on me.
My close friends detest me. Those I loved have turned against me. 

I imagine Job felt like a desolate rocky mountain.

Job was not only hurting and alone, but he was aware of their disgust and rejection. All he wanted was for someone to take pity on him. Job wanted a friend to listen to him. Instead, Job's friends blamed the troubles on his own sinfulness. Others close to him were repulsed by him. By withholding their kindness, they hurt him all the more. Instead of offering comfort, they increased his pain.

How horrid to further injure a friend who is already suffering by withholding kindness!

Beloved, I remember so many times I have avoided loved ones who were hurting. They reminded me of the unavoidable pain of life and the certainty of death. Just the thought of them made me sad and so I ran from them instead of leaning into the situation. I did not want to visit them because I was afraid I had nothing to say or that I would say the wrong thing. I forgot You were ready to direct me and give me the courage I needed. Father, forgive me and help me remember the agony of Job and do better in the future. Thank You for Your forgiveness. 

Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. (Job 6:14)

those who long for death

the Book of Job, Chapters Three-Five

What do you say to someone who is suffering so greatly that they long for death? How do you comfort them?

As we join Job in Chapter 3, he is so distressed that he curses the day of his birth and moans,

The white of winter is like a sad soul

For sighing has become my daily food; my groans pour out like water.
What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.
I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.

As we looked closer, we realized that Job had not lost his faith in God. Job believed death was not the the end, but there was a paradise and a peace waiting for him on the other side, where

Captives also enjoy their ease; they no longer hear the slave driver’s shout.
The small and the great are there, and the slaves are freed from their owners.

At first Job's friends come and silently mourn with him, but when they start to speak, they tell him that his situation was caused by his own wrongdoing.

Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal. 

Although this scripture is truth, it does not apply to Job, because God has specifically stated in chapters 1 and 2 that Job was a righteous man. This was not helpful to Job. It actually made his anguish worse! Job needed a friend who would listen to him, and not condemn him. Even if sin was the issue, comfort must come first, especially to someone so depressed.

By nature, I am an impatient fixer. However, I have learned not to minimize the problem ("it's not so bad"). I have learned that one conversation will not be enough, and simple solutions do not help.

Instead, I have learned to LISTEN and be present, be patient, be prayerful, be loving. Remind them of the people who love them and need them. Remind them the situation, while it looks overwhelming now, may pass over time. In life there is hope and death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If they are extremely depressed and talk about ways to end their life, seek professional care immediately.

As we talked about this, one of the women reminded me of a time when she had shared her turmoil with me and I prayed with her and encouraged her to read a Psalm a day. She told me this was a turning point for her, because as she read the Psalms and prayed for God to reveal His direction to her for each day, she made progress towards healing. I remembered that night distinctly and that I had no idea what to say to her. But I prayed for direction and God was merciful.

Each person and situation is so unique. We must seek God when we want to comfort others. Only He knows why tragedy happens. Only He knows what will comfort a person. Only God knows what He plans to accomplish in this person's life and other's through this hardship. He wants us to be His hands, His voice, His comfort. As we seek Him, He will direct us.

There may be times when God may lead us to confront even the hurting with their own contribution to the problems they are having. We must lead with tentativeness, tenderness, and humility, never condescending judgment.  
 
Father, lead me to be quick examine my own life for sin and to be slow in judging others! Jesus, You entered into our suffering. Lead me to enter into the suffering of others in ways that will comfort them and guide them into a deeper relationship with You.  
   

They saw his grief

the Book of Job, Chapter Two

How can we comfort a grieving friend?

This is a challenge for me, and I confess I often avoid visiting sick friends because I don't know what to do or what to say. Truthfully, I'm impatient. Why are they still upset? Can't they just push through the pain? I want to say the perfect thing to make it all better, share the easy answer.

But there is often no simple solution and talking can make suffering worse. Consider Job's wife's words of wisdom: "Are you still maintaining your integrity?" she told Job who sat scraping himself with broken pottery as he sat among the ashes. "Curse God and die!" Now that's helpful!

Job's friends were more comforting.  When Job’s three friends ... heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

As we talked about it in our group this week, often that is the best comfort: show up and shut up! Visiting friends in their distress shows we see their grief, care about them, are concerned for them, want them to be consoled and healed. Just holding their hand, praying for them, giving them a message, brushing their hair, doing their nails, bringing special food, or running errands for them, can be encouraging. Don't offer discouraging advice, such as Job's wife, or ask foolish questions. Laughter is good medicine, sharing good memories and reminiscing about happy times.

Most important, we discovered that different people are encouraged by different things. Some of us wanted people to come and have conversations with us. Others of us appreciated practical help. Others longed for quiet companionship. It is important to ASK what is needed. How else can we know?

Job's pain was extreme. He lost all his livelihood, all his children and his health. Scripture tells us it was all without cause. While he affirmed that we need to accept the trouble from God as well as the good, Job's torment was intense. Not only do I want to have Job's attitude always, but I want to be able to be more of a comfort to others when they suffer.

Father, You are a God of mercy and lovingkindness. Help me to be more like You. I have been reluctant to engage, fearful of saying the wrong thing. Guide me to lean in to them and show Your love in the ways that are most encouraging. Let me also remember that no one is exempt from misfortune and that next time the person who is suffering could be me!    

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

When bad things happen to good people

the Book of Job, Chapter One

"Have you considered my servant Job?"

And so begins a story of calamity and suffering, that quite frankly, I find difficult to read. We chose the book of Job because it discusses the question most difficult to answer: Why do bad things happen to good people? One woman in our group told us she wanted to be prepared because people often ask her this question. Another woman wrote to me, "Please help me understand why do these things happen. This by no makes me love God any less or makes me not want to serve Him but it does confuse me sometimes."

In the book of Job, the curtain is pulled back and we see what is happening in heavenly places. We hope to discover the larger purposes of God. As we discussed the first chapter together this week, even this does not satisfy. Job is described by God as "blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." Blameless does not mean Job is perfect, but it does mean there is no fault in Job that deserves punishment. Job did nothing wrong to merit this onslaught. Indeed, Job was singled out because "there is no one on earth like him." Satan had not identified Job as a candidate for suffering. God did.

From the heavenly conversation we see God clearly is able to control Satan's actions. God allows Satan to strike everything Job has, but in the same breath, God limits Satan's power. God is in control. He could have prevented this pain.

But God does not. God allows it all to happen to Job, the loss of all his livestock, almost all his servants, and all ten of his children. It's the loss of his children that distressed me the most. You can replace sheep and camels. Children are not replaceable.

Even when the calamity came, half of it came from the forces of nature: "The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants," one of Job's servants announce to him. Another tells him, "suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed..." leaving all ten of his children dead. It was God. Who else controls fire from heaven? Who else controls the wind?

We are left the ask the question: Why would God act so cruelly to someone who worships Him? Who is blameless?

Perhaps it is impossible for us to understand the purposes of God. Like our children can't understand why we do things that cause them discomfort or pain, how can we expect to discern the thoughts of a eternal God? Perhaps God tested Job and preserved this historic story all these years for us to see and help us understand pain. Perhaps God was refining Job, helping him grow in his faith and understanding of God. Perhaps the best explanation was the one shared by one of the women: "blank happens!" This is basically what Jesus tells us in John 16:33: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

None of those answer are comforting for people who face death. What answer can be given to the parents of the children of Connecticut's Sandy Hook? To the wives of the fire fighters who climbed into the Towers on 9/11? To the families of those who lost loved ones in the South Asian tsunami on Christmas day 2004?

There are no answers that satisfy, no reason that is good enough. The only one that comes close is that Jesus joined us in our world of trouble. He did not come to merely teach us, but enter into our pain. Jesus experienced poverty, hunger, betrayal, extreme physical pain and death. Even Jesus asked for the pain to be removed, but was willing to suffer it to save us. Jesus' answer to the pain was: "not My will be Yours be done."

Jesus, it was not easy for You either. Scripture tells us in the garden when You prayed these words, You wept and sweat drops of blood. Help me to accept all from Your hand, the good and the bad, trusting You. You give and take away. In this world I will experience trouble. Let my response be to continue to trust You and to bless Your name!

Promises

Ever wonder how something is going to all turn out?

Maybe it's a new relationship, a new business venture, or a new school you will be attending. Or it could be medical test results, a your troubled teen, your home being vandalized, or moving to a another state without job prospects.

Yesterday, it was a woman who called my office with water seeping into her son's bedroom. Two experts had already inspected and still no one could tell us a cause. The woman had a broken foot and family was planning to visit for Christmas. Will they have to jack-hammer her cement slab to find the broken pipe? How will it all turn out?

2000 years ago, other people were asking the same question about the baby born to Zacharias and Elizabeth. Zacharias had been unable to speak for months, and now, during the circumcision and naming ceremony of his baby son John, Zacharias regained his speech. The neighbors were already shocked that Elizabeth was having her first child in her old age.

A deep, reverential fear settled over the neighborhood, and in all that Judean hill country people talked about nothing else. Everyone who heard about it took it to heart, wondering, “What will become of this child? Clearly, God has his hand in this.” (Luke 1:65-66)

When you are in the middle of something, it is impossible to know the end result. Any single snapshot of our lives is only one slice of the story. Elizabeth, only one year before, was an old barren woman. Now she was the mother of a baby prophets foretold of centuries before. Only one month ago Zacharias could not speak and now he was filled with the Holy Spirit prophesying about the Messiah and his son. But isn't that how all of the story went? At age 60 Abraham was childless. At age 50 Moses was a shepherd on the back side of the desert. At age 25 Joseph was a slave and a prisoner. At age 20, John the Baptist was living in the desert eating locusts and wild honey. At age 17 Peter was a fisherman. At the end of his life, Paul sat in a Roman prison waiting to be executed writing letters to  friends. At age 33 Jesus was nailed to a tree.

But God, who works all things together for good, knew how it was going to turn out, the end from the beginning. God sometimes gives us a glimpse of the future. He told Abraham that he would be the father of nations, Joseph that he would be a great ruler, Zacharias that his son would prepare the way for the Lord. Other times, in His wisdom and great mercy, God covers the future for us.

God promises. He promises ahead of time and reveals it to us so we see that He is the true God, a good God, a faithful God. The God who kept His promises to the nation of Israel, and indeed to all the peoples of the world by sending His Son to visit and redeem His people, will be faithful to us today. Even though we can not be certain how the troubled teen will grow up, how the new job will work out, and whether or not the floor will need to be broken up to find the leak, we can be sure that God is faithful and merciful and good.

God does not promise us the future we want, but He does promise to be with us in our future, to provide, comfort and guide. And in the end, His presence is the best present.

wwww.myworldinclicks.com

Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel;
  He came and set His people free.
He set the power of salvation in the center of our lives,
and in the very house of David his servant,
Just as He promised long ago
  through the preaching of His holy prophets:
Deliverance from our enemies
and every hateful hand;
Mercy to our fathers,
  as He remembers to do what He said He’d do,
What He swore to our father Abraham—
a clean rescue from the enemy camp,
So we can worship Him without a care in the world,
  made holy before Him as long as we live.

And you, my child, “Prophet of the Highest,”
  will go ahead of the Master to prepare His ways,
Present the offer of salvation to His people,
the forgiveness of their sins.
Through the heartfelt mercies of our God,
God’s Sunrise will break in upon us,
Shining on those in the darkness,
those sitting in the shadow of death,
Then showing us the way, one foot at a time,
down the path of peace.

Read the whole story in Luke 1:57-80.

Prepare for Christmas

Are you prepared for Christmas?

It seems to start earlier each year. The stores decorate right after Halloween, Christmas music plays earlier, even my Jewish boss put up the office Christmas tree before Thanksgiving.

It is only December 6, and my house is decorated and I am well on my way to amassing the gifts for my family. But am I prepared for Christmas? No, not by a long shot.

God prepared for Christmas with angels. Not only did He send an angel to announce the birth of Jesus, but months before that, an angel announced the birth of another child who would come before Jesus and prepare the way.

While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar. Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him. But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John. You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in the eyes of the Lord. He must never touch wine or other alcoholic drinks. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even before his birth. And he will turn many Israelites to the Lord their God. He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah. He will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly.” (Luke 1:11-17)

Before Jesus' birth was announced, the Lord first brought John to prepare the people for the coming of their Messiah. John, the baby son of Zacharias, who became John the Baptist, spent his life urging the people of Israel to repent, to turn from their evil ways, and to follow God. Specifically, John came to reunite fathers and children. Broken relationships with fathers can destroy the children's belief in a loving God.

As I looked back in scripture, I found God prepared much longer for the coming of Christ. In fact, 400 years earlier, in the book of the Old Testament prophet Malachi (4:5-6):

“Look, I am sending you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the Lord arrives. His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.” 

John the Baptist is the Elijah foretold to come. John had to come before Christ, to prepare because people were not ready for His coming. Zacharias, a righteous man and priest of Israel, was burning incense at the temple with people praying outside. Yet He was surprised and afraid when the angel appeared. Instead of expecting God to show up during worship, Zacharias startled when confronted with an angel.   

During this month we will be surrounded by reminders of Christmas. There will be decorations, music, activities with special food, and presents, all pointing to Christmas, and yet, like Zacharias, we can be unprepared to actually experience the presence of Christ. In the midst of our religious traditions, do we expect the coming of the most holy God?

What can we do to remind ourselves of the real message of this season? How can we be more aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit in the midst of the hurry of the holiday?

This week, as our small group discussed this question, we came up with the following ideas:

1. Read the story again. Not just any story, the original one, that the "beloved physician" Luke and Jesus' disciple and dear friend Matthew wrote under the inspiration and direction of the Holy Spirit. Don't have a copy? Click here. 
2. Listen more closely to the words of Christmas songs. The songs contain a sense of wonder, joy and peace. They remind us of the courage of Mary and Joseph. Sing along and get swept away in the awe of the shepherds as they listened to the angels sing. 
3. Look carefully at the decorations. Be reminded that Christ came into the world to bring us the light and a fuller revelation of who God is.
4. As you shop, be reminded of the long journey of the wise men, and their desire to bring gifts and to see something amazing.   
5. Do good and care for the poor. Find a special activity to share the love of God. Expect to see God in the faces of those you serve, and in those who serve beside you.
6. Remind others of the true reason for this wonderful season. As you remind others, you will be encouraged yourself, even if they do not believe. Truth sticks and we never know when the Holy Spirit will use our words later as they remember what we spoke.

Expect Christ to show up. Expect Him to give you joy, peace, provide for your needs. Expect Him to speak to you. Do not be afraid. He brings tidings of great joy to all people.

Beloved Jesus, even as I write this, I realize I need to be reminded not merely to share this message but also to live it. Remind me to be aware, to be ready for Your coming. You desire most to give me Your presence this Christmas. Let me be awe-struck but not surprised at Your coming.

Note: Who is Elijah, you ask? He was a great Old Testament prophet who performed powerful miracles. For two great stories about Elijah, see 1 Kings 18:16-39, 2 Kings 2:1-11. 

When to pray

Ever feel dry? You long for a cool drink.
Ever feel weary? You search for a place to sit, time to rest, close your tired eyes.

Yesterday I felt both with a deep longing. I was not physically thirsty or tired. I felt spiritually dry.

Recently my prayers had been reduced to the laundry list.  I requested all good things: wellness for sick friends, spiritual awakening for family far from God, wisdom for my boss in the affairs of his business, safety for my husband and daughters. They were prayers hastily whispered in the rush of the mundane, yet necessary things of life: meals to cook, laundry to wash, letters to mail, family to call.

Finally, at day's end, I lay in my bed exhausted but wakeful. Jesus where are You? My cries for Him seemed to drift off in the dark room.

I hear Jesus better when I sit ready to write down His words

This morning, as I sat with my Bible and journal, I read these words from Jesus' brother James and they jumped off the page at me and rested on my heart.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord... My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen...Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. (James 1:5-7, 19, 22)

Then I heard Him say to me...

I want you to hear Me when you already think you know what to do.
I want you to ask Me when you think you already have the answer.
I want you to pray when you have no problem but instead an opportunity and you have already decided.
I want you to stop and ask Me when you want to forge ahead.
I want you to seek Me for courage when you have decided to stay in bed.
That's when I want you to pray.
Just when you don't want to or feel your need to pray.
And then when I speak, I want you to OBEY. 

Yes, Beloved, You are so right! I still want Genie Jesus: rub the magic Bible and I get my three wishes. But You are so much bigger and better than that fantasy! You want to give me the abundant life only available to me when I partake of your wisdom daily. Help me to remember to seek You at all times and give me the courage to obey!

Grieve the Spirit

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God... (Ephesians 4:30)

What does that mean, to grieve the Spirit?

Sometimes I think God is like my mom: she dressed my brother and I up for the special party in our best clothes. She washed our faces, combed our hair, ironed our shirts and skirts, shined our shoes. When she was all done she told us to behave and not to fight or get dirty. Then she disappeared into the bathroom to get ready herself, leaving us alone.

How hard it was to be good and stay clean! How exasperated she was when she found us scraped and disheveled!

Father God is not like that. He knows the world is dirty. He brings us inside at the end of the day. He removes soiled coats and muddy shoes. He tenderly bathes us, and dresses us in clean PJs, combing knots from our hair. He gives us a hot meal and discusses our day. Yes, He is saddened by wrongs we have done, but He is not surprised. He is not unprepared. Even when He sends us out again, He does not tend to His own business and leave us alone. We are His business. He watches, He guides, He strengthens, He comforts, He confronts, He consoles, and I have even seen Him stand and block the way.

Every day we come home dirty. That is the world we live in, even in our own hearts so we cannot hide. The Spirit grieves our sin because there is a loss: a loss of relationship, opportunity, time, purity, joy, or peace, to name a few. The loss is ours, but like a father, God feels the pain of His child. Like a father, God is anguished to know that His children do not trust Him at His word and obey. All disobedience is a lack of trust in God’s wisdom and love.

Yes God is angry at some, but not us who believe. God's anger is towards scoffers who hate God and scorn His people as silly at best and deceivers at worst.

However, we are His children and He only waits for us to return home, to be cleansed, refreshed and loved. He cleanses us as we confess. He refreshes us as we talk to Him in prayer. He loves us as we worship Him as Lord.

Yes, we grieve the Holy Spirit. It is as inevitable as children playing outside become dirty. What do we do? Confess. Pray. Worship. Confession to one another breaks the power of sin. Prayer reminds us of how much God loves us. Worship reminds us of how worthy He is to trust and praise.

Let’s not stop reading in the middle of this verse that continues: …with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Another translation states: God gave you His Spirit as proof that you belong to Him and that He will keep you safe until the day He makes you free.

God seals us. He keeps us safe. He is our Father forever and will never let us go. 

Thank You Jesus for paying the entire price for every sin. We can come to You with boldness because You are always waiting for us to return. Your arms are always open and there's a warm tub waiting.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Closer

Have you ever been in love?

It's easy to fall in love. But is it possible to fall in love and stay in love forever?

Most of us want to believe it can happen, and that it can happen to us. That's the compelling start off point for a message from Andy Stanley. It's compelling because it's true: we do want to fall in love and stay in love forever. Me too! I love my husband Al.  I thank God for Al, for his love for me and the wonderful godly man he is.

But then yesterday, we had an off night. Al was tired and went to bed early because he had to go to work later that night, but for me, it's still a Saturday night. I am left lonely, sad, and wondering: God, is this all there is, really? I am a woman who craves excitement, romance. Where did that go? Was it ever there? Was this the wrong man?

Satan is so sly. I was in the car yesterday afternoon with my daughter. The car radio was switched on to her favorite station, playing was a song called "Closer" by Ne-Yo. In it, a sweet-voiced man talked about his woman:

 Turn the lights off in this place

 And she shines just like a star

 And I swear I know her face

 I just don't know who you are

 Turn the music up in here

 I still hear her loud and clear

 Like she's right there in my ear

Saying come closer, closer...

And I just can't pull myself away

 Under her spell I can't break

 I just can't stop 

 And I just can't bring myself no way

 But I don't want to escape

 I just can't stop

 I can feel her on my skin

 I can taste her on my tongue

 She's the sweetest taste of sin

 The more I get the more I want

That is it, I want someone to feel that way about me, to sing this song to me. At age 59, with wrinkled hands and graying hair, I still want this!  I can feel the desire down to my toes. That is the love I long for even now.

So I sleep and dream about an old love, cloying, wanting to come closer to me. I wake up, shake myself, wondering, where did that come from? It was so long ago. A cup of coffee and my Bible revives me this morning. It was my own longing taunting me. God reminds me of His purpose: to perfect (sanctify) me, to heal me, to protect me with these verses: 

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.
May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it...

The Lord is faithful, who will establish and guard you from the evil one. 

(1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, 2 Thessalonians 3:3)  

The evil one wants us to be dissatisfied with our spouses. The evil one points out the imperfections in our loved ones and tells us we deserve better. The evil one tempts us with the sweetest taste of sin. He wants us to feel unable to break away from our longings.  

On the other hand, God desires that we cover a multitude of sin with love. God desires unity, sacrifice, humility. He instructs us to treat others as if they are more important than ourselves. God also wants us to be closer to Him. He longs for us, draws us, never with an evil intent, but with the purity of infinite, merciful love. The decision to accept God's love is a choice we make. He never forces, or seduces, or beguiles us.  The Holy Spirit give us self-control to protect us from the power of sin. He sees us as we are, our wrinkled hands, our graying hair, our sagging bodies, our sinful desires, and He says we are beautiful. He says we are His. 

Jesus winked at me today during our church's worship service. He arranged for the worship team to sing this better version of the song "Closer" from Hillsong:

There is no life without You

 You have all that we need

 Where You are every fear is broken

 And the darkness must flee

 Closer and closer we want to know You

 Reaching out,reaching out

 Here in Your presence we want to go deeper

 In Your light come alive

 There is no one beside You

 You alone are enough

 You fling the doors of Your heart wide open

 And we are lost in Your love

 To You we will come running

 In You we find belonging

 Your love is all that can satisfy

Jesus, You alone are enough! As my husband and I stand together to worship You, as we face You, desire to grow closer to You, our love becomes complete and life-giving. 

The wanton desires of my foolish heart still lurk within me. No man on earth fulfills my girlish dreams perfectly. But You, beloved Jesus, complete me beyond anything I can hope for and imagine.  

As we depend on Jesus for fulfilling our deepest desires, we are freed to love others with selfless love pouring our of our spirits from the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can perfect us. But He will. And He will save us from the evil one.

That is worth praising Him about!

Andy Stanley talks about "Staying in Love" click below...