Perfect

At worship last night, my thoughts were scattered and rambling as I sang out the words to the songs. Even as the music blasted in my ears and the floor shook, I was distracted. Then we sang...

You're a good good Father, it's who You are
And I am loved by You, it's who I am
Because You are perfect in all of Your ways....

And God, as He is always faithful broke through my chaotic mind and He said....

Perfect, only I am perfect. I am the good, good Father, standing at the open doorway, My eye always on you as you romp and play outside. I smile as you dirty your hands, thinking with delight how I will wash you later.

But your deeper sins, as I watch them unfold in your life, My stomach turns, not in revulsion or even disapproval but in sorrow as I truly understand the pain you are causing yourself and others. I understand your weakness, I created you! I have already supplied the solution.

O come to the altar, the Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ  

My eyes never leave you and I long for the time you come home to Me in prayer. I will hold your precious face in My hands and say, My daughter, how much I love you! 

You are My princess but never forget it is I alone who am perfect. In My time, in My power, My Spirit is perfecting you until finally you will be with Me forever in perfect glory. I do not need your works or your service to prove your love for Me. I want your attention. I want to give you My power. Come to Me, I long to give you all you need and also Myself. 

Come, My child. Come. 

Three Easy Steps to a Perfect Marriage

Disclaimer: Ok, the steps are not easy and there are no perfect marriages but these will help a lot!

1.      Pray.  God is invested in your marriage and not only wants it to last forever but designed it to be joy-filled and life-giving. Talk to Him about everything in your marriage through prayer. Pray together, pray alone, pray when you have troubles, when you argue, when you are confused, when you feel lost, when you wake up, before you sleep. Pray without ceasing.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.(Phil 4:6)  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:6)

        

2.      Submit.  To freely give the other spouse the opportunity to have their heart’s desire is an act of love and a sign of strength on your part. It is the true path to life and peace. Submit is what Jesus did constantly when on earth all the way to the cross. He asks us to do it because He did it first. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21)

3.      Believe the Best.  Be generous with your assumptions and your attitude toward your spouse. Believe that they love you, want the best for you, desire the marriage to last, have your best interests at heart, aspire to become more Christ-like even as they fail again and again. It is not so much about trusting them, but trusting Christ in them, the hope of glory. Your attitude towards them will greatly affect your relationship so never assume the worst, but always believe the best. Love…is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:5,7)

Best Diet Ever

I am not much of a dieter, frankly because I like food much more than I ever wanted to be thin. Plus I have NO will-power. However, as I grew older my metabolism slowed and frustrations from life heightened causing me to eat too much, too often and too thoughtlessly. The numbers on my bathroom scale began to rise at an alarming rate until I found myself the same weight as the peek of my first pregnancy -- with no baby to show for it! It was harder to move around, harder to do steps, harder to fit into my already too-large size clothes.

I tried to diet again, and again, and again, failing each time. As I said, I have no will-power. I started to pray. As time went on and the numbers on the bathroom scale continued to creep up, I asked friends to pray for me too. To my horror, I gained more weight. I prayed more earnestly finally coming to the realization that only God could help me.

I realized that the problem was not the food. The problem was me and I needed to repent.

I needed to repent of thinking I could eat anything I wanted and as much as I wanted.

I needed to repent of eating because bagels and muffins or chocolates and cake were left on the break-room table at work, or because my husband bought a quart of ice cream, or because one of the sweet women in my church group brought a lemon cake to our meeting.

I needed to repent of eating in response to stressful situations and turn to God instead, my true Comforter.  

Once I repented, and God in His mercy developed self-control in my heart, I was able to stop eating the sweets and the carbs that turned into sugar the moment I swallowed them. Once I stopped eating them, I no longer craved them.

Still not bikini ready like my babe Deb

Another enemy was discovered in my journey. It was my bathroom scale! At first it was my friend, revealing the error of my ways with an ever increasing magnitude. Once I started eating better my scale showed my progress downward, slowly but thankfully downward. Then one morning, for no apparent reason, I stood on my scale and it displayed the exact same number as the day before. I panicked. That is when my Beloved Jesus whispered to me,

"You are doing the right thing. Continue to obey and trust the results to Me."   

My new diet is repentance. We live in a land of plenty -- too much in fact. We are killing ourselves with extravagances that tempt us with their appeal and kill us with their true essence. It is all as King Solomon said, vanity and grasping at the wind. Yes we need to eat and God has given us all we need to enjoy. But too much of anything becomes an idol an a curse that rots our bones.

Beloved, let me continue to trust You and the goodness You give me. Let me discern when the thing I desire is from Your hand and when it is Satan tempting me. Give me the self control to flee from sin as I should. Remind me that my part is to obey You and that You can be trusted with the results. Help me have faith to believe all You have for me is good.

Good to eat. Good for my body. Good for my life. Because You are good.

Who is God? Who am I? And how do I relate to you?

Tonight we received certificates to show we completed our counseling courses require to serve in Liquid Church's Care Ministry. We were asked to answer three questions from the perspective of what we learned in our course work. 

This is that essay. 

God is perfect; perfect power, perfect wisdom, and perfect love. Because God is love, He created humanity to love Him back. He did not want forced, coerced, manipulated love so He created us with free will. With the freedom to love, God also gave us the freedom to turn away from His love. We call this sin.

Even before God created the world, He knew we would sin so He had a plan to reconcile us to Himself and be with us in perfect peace forever. His plan spanned millennia, generations and nations. God is patient, willing to bear the pain of our rejection and of watching our self-inflicted tribulations as we ran from Him and His perfect will. We could not save ourselves even after God gave us His Law and His warnings through His prophets. Even when we desired to be righteous, we became self-righteousness. We were hopelessly dead in our sin.

At just the right time, Jesus came to save us. He left paradise to meet us in our broken world. He walked beside us, telling us stories, asking us questions, and healing our diseases. He demonstrated He was fully human by eating and drinking, laughing and crying, bleeding and dying. He demonstrated He was fully God by His control over the sea and the rain, over angels and demons, over life and death.

Jesus took all our sin on His own body and paid our debt to God in full. As He died, He proclaimed, “It is finished.” Death could not hold Him, nor will it hold us when we trust in Him. We are truly free now, free to choose God, free to love Him as He always intended.

God adopted me and I am His daughter, beautiful and perfect in His sight. That is how God sees me in His eternal realm. However while I am trapped here in time and space I must still work out my salvation in fear and trembling. I must diligently follow Him and be alert to the evil one as he accuses me, tempts me, and appears as an angel of light.

Now God is our Father so we are one family. I am the sister and my family is vast, from every continent, every nation. I link arms with them, lean on them, help them as they help me. We share God’s truth and God’s love. I love and forgive them. I listen with humility as they point out my blind spots, and I confess and pray for the Holy Spirit’s power for change.

All glory to God!

Before this course, I knew to speak with mercy and tenderness as I point out the blind spots of others. However, now I realize I cannot understand their pain or attempt to help them until I walk beside them as Jesus did. I must enter their world, listen intently, and ask questions. I cannot assume I understand their heart or their situation. I do not know their answers. Only Jesus knows. Only He can see what is in the depth of their hearts. I must be patient and love them as Jesus did, freeing them to change or not, at their own pace, in their own way. Jesus was in no hurry to fix people. He was willing to withstand the pain of watching our trials while He waited for us to be ready to accept Him and His truth. So it must be with me.

We offer them Christ’s stories, the thread of themes from Genesis to Revelation that demonstrate God’s grace and truth. Where does their story intercept with God’s story? Where is God encouraging change at a heart level, not merely our changing our behavior? What truth or mercy of God are we missing or misunderstanding? We bring them to the Holy Spirit and trust God for change in His direction and timing. As we point them to God, we are confident God is faithful. He will use our pain for His glory and give us peace.

Confession, the Pathway Home

Confession has a bad rap.

It conjures up images of an old white-bearded man pointing a long bony figure at us snarling "repent!" Or the apprehension of a small child entering a small dark closet and whispering the words, "Bless me father for I have sinned." It is the dread of being exposed and seen with our hands dirtied with our most heinous deed. It is the anxious anticipation of your dad's scream, mom with the wooden spoon, or sitting in the principal's office.

That is not God's view of confession. Proverbs 28:13 tell us, Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. James 5:16 has even a better promise, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

Mercy and healing are the sweet fruit of confession.

Jesus paints an even more delightful picture in the story of the prodigal son. The son leaves home, takes his inheritance, and makes a series of reckless choices. He finds himself homeless, hungry and surrounded by swine. It is there that the scriptures tells us he came to his senses. He confesses his sin and in that turning point, he starts on his way home. The son expects punishment.

However, there is no punishment waiting for the lost son who returns to his father, only an embrace of love, tears of joy. The father summons his servants to bring the sandals, robe and ring. The servants knew immediately right where to find these precious items that would restore the wayward boy to full son-ship. Why? Because the father always had them at the ready, waiting only for the son to return to him.

There is no punishment waiting for us either when we confess. God is not waiting to give us penance, as if a few prayers or acts of contrition could erase our sin. No, Jesus paid it all, it is finished, completed, accomplished. Our restoration waits for us to receive it, if we would only come home.

At Aunt Tillie and Uncle George's beach house there was
always a celebration! 

And then there is the party because the father is ecstatic to have his son home. The father instructs the servants: Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

Confession is the privilege of God's children. It is the vehicle for God's mercy, His healing, His celebration. God the Father invites us  His children to come to Him to confess, so that we can be restored.  Because that is what the Father desires, for us to come home, sit at His table, enjoy His presence.

Confession is our pathway home.

To read the entire story of the prodigal son, see Luke 15:11-32.

Prejudice and Transformation

Last Friday I went to the movies and watched Hidden Figures. As the movie progressed I winced as I watched the true story of three women who endured treatment that no human should experience. Prejudice in all it's hateful glory was on display. However, by the end of the movie, the hearts of the most prejudice among the players had changed. Instead we saw understanding, respect, and kindness on the screen. How did that happen? What triggered the transformation?

On Saturday night, my daughter and I watched the 30th anniversary edition of The Breakfast Club. She had never seen it before, indeed it was released before she was born. "Why do you like this movie, mom?" she asked.

Because it too was about prejudice and transformation. There were no people of color in this movie. In fact, they were all white, straight teens in a middle class high school. And yet they found a way to be prejudiced, to put people in little boxes and not let them out. The brain, the athlete, the basket case, the princess and the criminal. But one Saturday they were forced to sit together all day and after they fought and talked and played together they discovered they were not so different after all. Same thing happened in Hidden Figures. Forced to work together in NASA for the common goal of getting a man into space and returning him safely, they discovered they could see past the boxes of man and woman and black and white that they had been forced into.

Our family in Washington DC 

Tomorrow is the day we remember Martin Luther King Jr. He was a great man who fought for liberty and peace. Four days later, the power of presidential leadership passes from our first black president to a white man, a billionaire real estate tycoon who never before held public office. 2016 was a year tarnished and torn by trash talk and bloodshed and bigotry. We remain a nation divided into pieces and more than just black and white.

How do we heal from this?

Like the teens in The Breakfast Club, maybe we need a Saturday detention, a forced time to sit face to face. Maybe we need a common goal like those who discovered they needed even Hidden Figures to help them all succeed.

Maybe if just one of us reaches out  to someone different to listen, not merely to judge or mock but to try to understand.

Maybe me. Maybe you. Maybe today. Let's try that. Are you in?



I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. 

-- Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. 1963

Me too, Martin. Me too.

The Walk

First summer walk and I return again to the stream by my home, a favorite place to pray. On the narrow walking bridge I stop to look at the brook, swiftly passing below, full with spring rains. The lush foliage bows towards the waters. How often have I looked at the brook and asked God about my future. What is going to happen? When is it going to happen? What do I need to do to make it happen? I desperately wanted to know what was in my future. I needed to know because I wanted to be prepared.

This time, even though there was still many uncertainties in my life, I looked at the brook and felt His peace, not my questions. And in that peace He said to me:

No, you do not need know. You need to trust Me. I alone can prepare you.

It's the same at the beach.  There I found it was tempting to look for shells and rocks, and when I found something interesting I would wonder, what does this mean for my future, Lord? Once I found a large smooth stone shaped in the form of a heart. And my hope was renewed for a vision of mine. But it was mine alone and not of Him. It never worked out.

This summer's first beach walk I looked again at the sandy edge and He said to me:

I do not speak to you from the creation on the shore. I have given you My Word, My Son, My Spirit.

Beloved Jesus, there it is again. Trust. My impatience displays a lack of trust in You. Beloved, remind me of the wonders You have already done. Remind me You are worthy of my trust. Thank You for Your patience with me as I fail and fail again. Thank You of not leaving me in the desperate place of needing to know, wanting to know. It is Your mercy that You do not tell me.

It is in Your mercy that You spare me from my petty desires and give me Yours alone. You have given me so much! Your Word, Your Son, Your Spirit. I may not know the future. I am blessed instead to know You.

on baseball mitts and tap shoes

Debbie and Gio, off stage

I saw Gio yesterday at his game, handsome and so tall already in his uniform and cap. He played first base, he pitched from the mound, using his mitt to catch so well. I was the audience today, watching him and as I did I remembered other times long ago, watching Debbie on the stage, her tap shoes clicking skillfully to the tune, her costume glistening in the lights.

There is still a part of me that longs to be that too, on the stage, in the spotlight, with the audience watching me. On the field, using my mitt, running the bases, pitching the ball. From childhood it started and I never lost that longing. I confess, even now I want to be seen, to be heard, to be noticed. I want what I do to last, to matter, to be a thing of beauty.

The desire haunts me. But it is not working for me.

But then, Beloved, You speak to me tenderly in Your great mercy….

You need to remember that I see you. I am always watching you, always with you. You are never alone. I am your very attentive and loving audience of One. As you delight in Gio and Debbie, so I also delight in you. But I created you and specifically gifted you to be a servant. That is how you will achieve the greatest good, not only for others but also for yourself. It seems lowly but it is not. For you, it is your true greatness, your true goodness. And you cannot be a servant as I have created you to be, from the center of the stage. The center of the stage is not for you. I have protected you from that spot but you still desire it. This is your idol and you must repent.

Trust Me. I know what is good. I want to give you what is good but I cannot when you chase after this other thing. It is not for you. I want to give you the better portion of servanthood. It will not be taken away from you. It is sitting at My feet. It is filling the room with the fragrance of worship. That is where you will be remembered. That is where I will use you best.

As you serve and teach you must remember that you are not better than any whom you serve. They are your family and My beloved. Pride can be a trap even for a servant. Even kings are warned against it (Deut 17:18-20). This too is sin. Point always to Me, the true eternal King.

I will use you by the power of My Holy Spirit where I have put you. Remember, I am the Creator and King of the Universe and I see you. I notice you. I will make what you do in secret last eternally. I will make it matter in My kingdom. I will make it a thing of incredible beauty beyond what you can imagine.

Trust Me. Rest in this. It is from Me. And I am doing a good thing.

...you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:41-42)

That's your problem

It happened again at work yesterday. She called me back weeping, so troubled, so alone. The situation seemed dire, not only for her but also for her young son. My mind raced as I talked to her on the phone: how can I help them? Even though it was not my job to help, even though she wanted to keep it a secret because she was so ashamed.

We’re reading about the last days of Jesus in our life group, where He was betrayed in the Garden. All betrayed Him, but in the end, Peter was restored, and became the hero and leader of the church. However Judas hung himself and is remembered as the betrayer and of the devil himself. Why is that? What’s the difference? The answer lies in three verses left for us by Matthew:

Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, “I’ve sinned. I’ve betrayed an innocent man.”

They said, “What do we care? That’s your problem!”

Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself. (Matthew 27:3-5)

Judas, like Peter, realized his sin. The difference was while Peter wept then returned to the fellowship of the disciples, Judas went to the high priest.

Judas tried to fix it himself.

The high priest even urged him on in this: “That’s your problem!” And because the problem was too enormous for Judas to fix himself, he hung himself in despair.

Horrified I considered the situation yesterday with the troubled woman and her son. I want to help her but, let’s face it, the situation is enormous. Like Judas I am anxious, consumed, and in despair because I cannot find a way to help. I am like Judas:

Barbara tried to fix it herself.

Beloved Jesus, forgive me. Some things are way over my pay grade, as this one was yesterday. Maybe I can help in a small way, but not without coming to You first. Nothing is too enormous for You, even death itself. Please remind me again and again that prayer is doing something. Sometimes it is the only thing. I can come to You because You are able, indeed You are enormous and You love with us with an enormous love. I can trust You.

What was I thinking? Reprise

It was 2000 years ago when a widow came to the Jerusalem temple and inconspicuously dropped in two small copper coins into the temple treasury. She was surrounded by many wealthy people giving large sums, but undeterred, she dropped her offering into the box.

Later a woman named Mary scandalized her dinner party guests when she took an entire bottle of pure nard and poured it on the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair. The perfume was ridiculously expensive and although she was ridiculed by others, she only looked at His face.

About 30 years pass. Paul sat in prison and wrote a letter to dear friends far away. They had given him a gift and he was saying thank you and also shared important matters of his heart and his faith with them. When the letter was done, he handed the scroll to his friend Epaphroditus and prayed for his safe travel to the distant city of Philippi.

All three, the poor nameless widow, Mary of Bethany and Paul had no idea at the time of the significance of their obedience. I wonder -- what were they thinking?

Did the widow wonder what difference it made, her two tiny coins compared to the substantial contributions of the others? Did she fear ridicule for her tiny donation? Did she wonder how she would eat the next day because all her money was now gone? Maybe she just had faith and was obedient to God because she trusted Him, even with all she had.

Did Mary wonder what everyone would say when she lavished all of her precious gift on Jesus? Did she think she would be hidden behind Him at His feet? Was she embarrassed when she realized the smell of the nard filled the room and everyone was staring at her, her hair undone, her extravagance revealed? Was she horrified when Judas pointed at her in scorn saying the money could have been used to feed the poor? Maybe she just had faith and was determined to demonstrate her love for Jesus.

Did Paul wonder if his letter would get to it's destination? Was he concerned about Epaphroditus' health and safety as he traveled? Was he in prayer that the Philippians would be encouraged by his letter and be open to his instructions? Did he wonder if he wasted his time to write a letter that they may never receive? Probably he was moved to communicate to them in the only way available to him, although it was lengthy and cumbersome, and he trusted God for the rest.

The widow had no idea that the Lord of Israel in the flesh stood near her watching and held her up as a sterling example of generosity and faith to His disciples for generations. Mary had no idea Jesus would defend her to her guests, praise her faith and proclaim that her story would be included wherever the gospel was preached. Paul had no idea that not only would his letter reach Philippi but it also would sit on my kitchen table today in New Jersey. They only acted in faith. They had no idea how God would use their obedience.

Ten years ago, I voiced frustration to a dear wise friend. While I don't remember the specifics of the situation, I clearly recall his advice. Use your gift, he told me. Find a way to express the gift that God has given you. And so hesitantly I began a blog. What was I thinking? I had been writing in journals all my life as I cried my heart out to the Lord, as I studied His word. Out of those conversations, He seemed to talk back to me. Really, He did. I'm sorry if it sounds crazy. The words, those thoughts were too "other" to be mine. I wanted to write them down and save them in a way so I could remember them. I hoped that they would encourage others. And some people have told me these posts are encouraging. But I am sure the person who reads my blog the most is me! As I recall Jesus' words to me, I am encouraged and rebuked and strengthened all over again.

I have no idea how God will use this blog. But I know He reads every word. He remains my main audience, an audience of One. This is my conversation with Him. My prayer is that you, if you are reading this, would also be encouraged. Do you have a gift? Are you using it? Find a way to express the gift God has given you. Don't be deterred that it seems small. Don't be embarrassed that it seems ridiculous to others. Don't be hopeless that it will be effective.

God used two small coins, a pound of nard, a parchment is a mighty way. And so I trust Him with this blog. You can trust Him too.

Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me."

Matthew 12:14-44, Matthew 26:6-13, John 12:1-8, Philippians 2:25-30

I hung the moon

I was driving home last night in silence except for the hum of my old Toyota. Inside my head, however, there was the screaming voice of Worry. Worry for people who I would never meet who's life was affected by my failure to resolve the  late afternoon phone call. Worry about how I could not help because it was not my job. Worry about what I could not do because I did not know how. 

Worry swirled around and absorbed me in fruitless conversations I would never have.

Then I looked up and saw the moon in the late twilight sky. A tiny sliver, it stood suspended above the dark blues and oranges of sunset. 

"I hung the moon." God whispered to me. "I hung the moon and I can handle this too."

I remembered a prayer from a prior day when I knew I was praying towards sin but did not know what else to ask of God. "Your will be done, Lord, open doors, close the others that lead to no good." Maybe You are doing that for those people who I just failed but would never meet. Maybe this is Your goodness, Your mercy, closing a door for them. I cannot know.

But I can trust You. Of that alone I am certain. Because I could see right ahead. See, You hung the moon.

God made two great lights -- the larger one to govern the day, and the smaller one to govern the night. He also made the stars....And God saw that it was good. (Genesis 1:16,18)

Grab on

Captivated by the movie scene playing in blazing color on the 72-inch TV, I stood transfixed as I waited for my daughter to complete her Best Buy purchase. It was the Terminator Geneisys bridge scene where Arnold chases the fleeing school bus, his determined face showing through the circle of shattered windshield glass.

As the scene progresses, the evil character damages the bus’ mechanisms causing it to flip in mid-air, careening wildly and finally stopped, hanging off the side of the Gold Gate Bridge. The good gal and guy team are still in the bus, dazed but unharmed, as is the bad guy and a chase ensues inside the dangling bus. Arnold arrives at the bus just in time to reach out his strong arm to the gal, who in turn grabs the arm of the good guy as he reaches out to her. The bus breaks free and falls into the water below with the bad guy in it just as Arnold pulls the gal and guy to safety.

And then the movie switched to another scene in another movie and I found myself back in the Best Buy TV sales section.

For several days the scenes flashed repeatedly through my mind. Arnold, the hero who they tried to kill over and over but they could not. How he relentlessly chased them and then rescued them with his strong arm. So much like our Jesus!

Jesus came as a babe in a manger, tender and mild. He looked like a toddler to the wise men and when He grew He looked like a mere man to the townspeople of Nazareth. But He is not. Jesus is greater than even Arnold in all his cinematic special effects. They tried to kill Jesus but they could not. He too emerged unharmed, not from a damaged vehicle but from the grave. Jesus’ saving is greater too, saving not only our lives of flesh but our eternal lives as well.



Jesus chases after us. He reaches out His mighty arm. He will save you from whatever bus you are hanging from. Grab His hand today.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords…

to Him who alone does great wonders..

with a mighty hand and outstretched arm…

His love endures forever.

(Psalm 136:3, 4, 12)

and know that I am God

It was given to me by dear friends, B for Barbara I supposed because it was not a verse that was important to me. It hung in my bedroom for years and then one morning, I lay still on my bed and saw it, and understood for the very first time. 

And the Father spoke to me...

Be still... Stop striving, worrying, working towards something you can never do, that I never intended you to fix. Stop yelling, nagging, plotting, conniving, marshaling supporters, manipulating. Just stop it! Lay down, stare at the walls. Mind your own business. Be still.

and know... You need to understand to your core, deep in your heart and to the edges of your mind, so that all your thoughts, desires, actions, habits, and character reflects the unshakable faith...

that I... Not you, your husband, your boss, your kids, the president, the pope, the pastor, coach, teacher, co-worker, mom, brother, or anyone else...

am God. No one else can rule the universe. Only Me. And even though things look messy, I know what I am doing. I have a plan, a plan that includes you and your family and your job and your future and even the future of the generations beyond. As you are available to Me, I will use you, but I am so much bigger than just you. 

I've got this.  
I love you. 
Be still. 

You can trust Me to work it out and we can talk about it. I want to patiently hear you. Even the tossed journals with painful events, too ugly to keep, I remember each scribble, each tear. I have saved the tears but I used it all to heal you and make you into the woman you are. And look at you! You are beautiful.

Those I brought to you to minister are for you to love and not to fix. Point them to Me, point to My truth and grace. Trust My Holy Spirit to bring to their minds the correct portions of truth at the proper time. Bring them back to Me. Encourage, listen, rebuke only with humility, kindness and infinite patience.

In the end, no matter what mess they make of their lives, I want them home. Dirty, exhausted, but Mine. No sin precludes them, I only care that they return. My arms are always open, sandals, robe and ring nearby. I am poised, watching and waiting for their return. 

Your return too, dear daughter. So be still and know that I am God. 

Psalm 46:10

Angels and Inspiration

YoungLives Tea October 17, 2015

 

My favorite angel is Gabriel. He is most often remembered for his visit with Mary the mother of Jesus, but before then, he visited Zechariah the priest. Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth were good people but they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and at the time they were both very old.

Gabriel visited Zechariah while he performed his priestly duties in the temple. Gabriel announced that Zechariah and Elizabeth would give birth to a son, who would become John the Baptist, but Zechariah did not believe him. The angel’s response was:

 “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. ” (Luke 1:19)

The word “angel” means “messenger.” Here God had a message for Zechariah, but he doesn’t believe Him, even though the angel Gabriel stood before him in all his splendor.

Like Zechariah, we are also witness to a glorious miracle but it is so hard for us to see. The story of Zechariah and Gabriel must have been a favorite in their community at that time and repeated often. Eventually, Elizabeth told it to Mary, Mary told it to Luke who wrote it down for a friend, and that story was copied over and over again, first with ink on parchment and eventually with machines on paper, for 2,000 years. Even though Zechariah, Mary and Luke had no idea at the time, God preserved it for us to hear it today.

I believe God’s message from the angel is for us too. He has something to say to us, something He wants us to believe and something He wants us to do, if we would only hear Him.

 

The story of Gideon is another example of an angel with a message. Gideon lived in the period of Judges and his story is told in chapter 6. At that time, the Israelites were in the Promised Land but because they had failed obey God’s command to drive out the evil nations who lived there before, these nations continued to invade their communities.  The army of the nation of Midian ruined the Israelite’s crops and slaughtered their livestock. Gideon and his people were impoverished and lived in terror. When the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress, which is essential a pit. He was hiding from the Midian army.

 

¹² When the Angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

¹³ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? … now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.”  (Judges 6)

Gideon felt abandoned by God because of the situation he was in. When you are at the bottom of a hole, hiding from your enemies, you feel pretty hopeless. The angel reminded Gideon, and us as well, that God is with us. He has plans for us if we would trust Him.

¹⁴ The Lord turned to [Gideon] and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

¹⁵ “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest … and I am the least in my family.”

¹⁶ The Lord answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.” (Judges 6)

Gideon was afraid with good reason. Midian had a massive, powerful army. But although the odds were stacked against him, God intended him to be a mighty warrior.  

Do you feel small and unworthy like Gideon? Do you feel unable to cope with what you have to do day by day? Me too. God reminds us that although He calls us to what seems impossible, He is with us. He will give us the wisdom, the strength, and the courage, to do whatever He put in our hand.

Even though we feel inept, unprepared, and unable to do what must be done, God is with us, and He is all we need. We often cannot see how He can use us, but He will. Maybe in a big way as He used Gideon. Maybe in a more modest way. But whatever way, it will be important. And it will be enough. As we rely on His Holy Spirit in us in our everyday lives, He transforms us into the women we are meant to be.

¹⁷ Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. ¹⁸ Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.”

And the Lord said, “I will wait until you return.”

¹⁹ Gideon went inside, prepared a young goat, and … made bread without yeast… the Angel of the Lord touched the meat and the unleavened bread with the tip of the staff that was in his hand. Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and the bread. And the Angel of the Lord disappeared. (Judges 6)

Gideon was not only afraid, he also lacked faith. This magnificent angel stood right in front of him, and yet, he did not believe. He asked for a sign. God was patient with Gideon, even in his unwillingness to trust Him.

Do you lack faith? Me too! God is patient with us. He waits for us to be ready to believe and obey. He gently urges us and encourages us but never forces us. As the angel did here for Gideon, God is always willing to show off and do big things to remind us we can trust Him. He is faithful even when we lack faith.

²² When Gideon realized that it was the Angel of the Lord, he exclaimed, “Alas, Sovereign Lord! I have seen the Angel of the Lord face to face!”

²³ But the Lord said to him, “Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.”

²⁴ So Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and called it The Lord Is Peace… (Judges 6)

God has come not to destroy us, but to give us life and peace. Stepping out in faith can be scary. God was so gentle with this man who became a warrior leader. We can trust He will be gentle and patient with us when we struggle to step out in faith.

²⁵ That same night the Lord said to him, “Tear down your father’s altar to Baal.” … ²⁷ So Gideon took ten of his servants and did as the Lord told him… (Judges 6)

God told Gideon to take down his idols. It seems silly that ancient people would make figures of wood or stone and then think they were god. But I do the same thing when I trust in other people instead of God. How about you?

Do you bring your troubles to friends to discuss before you turn to God in prayer? Do you find yourself trusting in your job and your 401K for provision? Do you trust in our government officials or your insurance policy to protect you? Do you place your confidence in your doctor or medicine to heal you? Don’t get me wrong, a 401K, insurance policy and medicine are all good things and we should use them as the Lord leads. However, I have found all these things will eventually disappoint us. It is God who provides, protects and heals us. God reminds us to tear down those alters and trust Him most of all. He alone is worthy of our worship.

Gideon obeyed God but did it in the dark of night because he knew his neighbors would be furious, and in the morning when they discovered what he did, they were.

³⁰ The people of the town demanded of Joash [Gideon’s father], “Bring out your son. He must die, because he has broken down Baal’s altar.” (Judges 6)

When we take steps of faith, when we talk about what we believe, we must expect some people to react negatively. Some will argue with us, dismiss us, ridicule us and talk about us behind our back. Let’s not be surprised. But there will be others who will see and desire our faith. In all, we need to trust God.

Let me tell you about Gideon’s battle and how the story ends.

¹⁹ Gideon and the … men with him reached the edge of the [Midian army’s] camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands… ²⁰ Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” ²¹ While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled. ²² …the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. (Judges 7)

God used Gideon and only 300 men to defeat the enormous Midian army. Note, there was no bloodshed for Gideon’s people because the Midianites killed each other.  It was an outrageous miracle, just as the angel of the Lord promised.

We can lose sight that this life is a battle. We are fighting a war. In Israel women bear arms and fight against the enemy. In the Kingdom of God, we must too. God calls us to be brave and to trust Him. He is still in the business of doing outrageous miracles.

We all have a Midian in our life. Maybe for you it is caring for young children or an elderly parent. Maybe it is a loss of a job or a job that is so stressful it is killing you. Maybe there is a secret sin you are afraid to reveal, or you carry the burden of your teen’s or husband’s secret sin. Maybe your Midian is sickness or death of a loved one. Whatever it is, you feel like Gideon: impoverished, terrified, and in a hole. You are sure God has abandoned you.

Let us remember that God preserved these words for centuries for us to hear today. I believe the Angel of the Lord’s message is for us, just as He spoke to Gideon long ago. Please hear the words of the Angel of the Lord:

I see you as the mighty woman I always intended you to be.

Go. I am sending you.

I am with you and will give you all the strength you need.

I am patient. I will wait for you.

I am your peace. Do not be afraid.

Take down your idols and trust Me alone.

I am faithful.

Making Plans

Making plans for the summer?

I love planning things, from parties and trips to business projects and classes. Like Eric Liddell of Chariots of Fire felt the pleasure of God when he ran, I feel God’s pleasure as I plan. We are made in God’s image, and because He plans, we plan too.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16)

So does God not want us to plan? Not at all. God just wants to be part of the process. He us to remember that He is sovereign in all things and when we plan, remember it is God who is in control, not us.

The scriptures give some great questions to ask ourselves as we plan.

1. Did we pray about our plans, searching the scriptures for God’s wisdom?
2. Are we seeking advice from godly trusted friends? Are we open to what they are telling us?
3. Did we consider how our plans affect others? Is this a win-win or will my plans need others to be inconvenienced, hurt, or devalued? My dear friend Sue Taylor’s moto comes to mind: Fun isn’t fun unless it’s fun for everyone.
4. When working with others, do we fret over their success?
5. Are we manipulating others? Are we being devious? Are we pushing our way, trying to control situations out of our control?
6. Although we trust God’s in control, are we still working hard to make our plans succeed?
7. If our plans are not working out, are we looking for the good and the God in the situation? Or are we whining and complaining that we are not getting our way?

Even when we are trusting God, we need to remember, God is not obligated to make our plans work out to the way we want. Although it is difficult to accept, sometimes no matter how we painstakingly plan, how hard we work, or how often we pray, we will have dreams that must die.

God never promised that everything will work out in this life. No, Jesus specifically promised: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Will we trust God anyway?

Sometimes our plans work out great, like a recent Saturday morning when my brother and I enjoyed taking the ferry into Manhattan. The weather was perfect and our time together sweet.

However there was another morning, when our cousin Susan planned a business trip to the top of the World Trade Center and it ended with her name engraved in bronze around a massive square pool. Why? Certainly that will be a question I will ask Jesus when I see Him. But when I embrace Susan again in His presence, perhaps the whys will not matter.

I have been frustrated and responded in anger over thwarted vacation plans and botched dinners. I have wept over career plans gone awry and family dreams that had to die. I found that trusting God is sweeter while I am waiting. Trusting God brings peace during tragic loss. Trusting God allows me to see and enjoy His great and unexpected gifts.

Jesus, help me trust You more. Help me to see what You are doing in the earth and plan with an eye towards Your glory.

For more on this, see James 4:13-5:6, Psalm 38:1-8, Proverbs 19:20-24

Love Wins

On June 26, 2015, nine men and women in Washington, D.C., ruled that marriage between two men and two women was a right in all 50 states of the USA that could not be denied. In their decision, they declared in lofty beautiful language that love wins.

2000 years ago, there lived one Man in Israel who claimed that someday He would come and judge the entire world. In His teaching He declared in lofty beautiful language the perfect Law the world should live by, including what marriage means. His moral code was so high that those who truly understood Him knew they could never attain perfection by the standards He stated.

No one could attain His standards. Not the extremely religious of His day, certainly not the common people, not even those who left all to follow Him.

But Jesus embraced them all and loved them all. He showed His love in practical ways: He touched them; He ate with them; He fed them; He healed them; He washed their feet. Despite our failure to be perfect, Jesus loves us and longs for us to be with Him forever, so He did the unthinkable. He took our punishment for all of our sins on His own body and allowed evil men to torture Him and hang Him on a tree.

Then He said, “It is finished,” and when He died, all of our sins were washed away. Our sins of lust, our sins of hate, our sins of pride. ALL of them. My sins. Your sins. Three days later, He destroyed death by rising from the dead. On that Easter morning, God declared that #LoveWins. Not the love of two men or two women or even a man and a woman. God’s love won over our wrongs. Over our fear and hate. Over everything that divided us from God and from each other.

Let’s not forget what Jesus taught us: None of us keep His perfect Law!

All of us fall short in the arena of sexual purity, even if the only place we sin is in our hearts. The ground is level at His cross and we all stand there condemned and justified at the same time.

Jesus Christ is still coming one day to judge all the earth. Jesus is judge. No one else.

What do we say then to these things happening around us?

The LGBT community has been crying out for acceptance. Jesus came to love them too. Can we who follow Him show them His amazing grace?

Jesus came to teach truth as well. Can we continue to strive to live and teach others to live by His moral code in an increasingly permissive world?

There are those who fear the judgment set by nine men and women in Washington, D.C., will begin persecution of Christ’s church in our country. Can we trust that God is bigger than our government and His purpose and glory will prevail?

Can we declare together that #LoveWins because of Jesus? He alone is Judge and Perfect Savior. No one else.

Why do we have arguments?

James 4:1-10

When I think of why I have not been getting along with someone, the story always goes like this:

He is so stubborn. She is so controlling. He has a bad attitude. She is always picking on me. He is stupid. She is jealous. He is mean. She never minds her own business. He doesn’t have a good word to say about anyone.

The story always starts with him. Or her. Never me. I am trying to be patient, trying to be kind, trying to overlook the fault, just trying to help him. But he makes it so impossible. She just won’t get off my back.

James has a different idea.

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

It’s inside my heart. I want what I want. I want my way. I think my way is better. I want what you have. I want my comfort. I want my happiness. And I don’t care if it’s at your expense.

The Holy Spirit shows us another way in Jesus. Jesus left the comfort of heaven to rescue us. He allowed people to treat Him however they wanted. He did not force Himself on anyone. He did not follow His own agenda. No, He did whatever He saw the Father doing. He submitted to His Father’s will all the way to a Roman cross where He bled and died while the men whom He loved and came to save mocked Him and spit on Him. This our Savior.

Jesus did all this to bring us home. He gave up His comfort, peace and even His life because He valued our relationship with Him. Our Father longs for peace between us, for us to be loving and kind to each other. And we are arguing about? What??

So then, what shall we do? James tells us:

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you… your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief…

It is not about the argument, or even the other person. It is about humbling ourselves before God. Remembering God is big and knows best and we are small. It is about putting God first, remembering He is most important, not the issue we are fighting about. Satan wants to mess up our relationships. He wants us to argue. He must stand up to Satan. We must choose God’s way. We must be sorry for our selfishness and repent of being careless about others’ feelings.

We need to ask these difficult but important questions: Could I be a little bit wrong here? Could some of this be my fault? Am I listening to her feelings? Could my attitude use a little adjusting? Am I valuing our relationship more than getting my own way? Could it be my turn to submit? If not this time, then when?

Beloved Jesus, it is hard to ask these questions. I don’t want to yield, let go of control, admit I am wrong. But Your Holy Spirit is within me leading me to blessed peace. Remind me the relationship is always more important than the issue we are arguing over. Help me to be Your daughter and forgive, submit, be kind, and trust You for the outcome. You have shown me over and over again that You are faithful and more generous than I could ever ask or imagine.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up in honor.

Just call home

I called my mother last night. Truth be told, I have not always been great at keeping in touch. Maybe that was why she was so delighted to hear from me. “It makes me so happy that you called me,” she giggled into the phone.

Recently I have noticed, with great joy, my relationship with my adult daughters improving. They visit, spend time talking with me, even asking me what I think about matters in their lives. Maybe it’s because they are in their later 20s and maturing. Hopefully it is because I have been more respectful and less controlling. Whatever the reason, our improved relationship has given me a peace and a confidence in life. No matter how the rest of the world is going, when your family loves you, nothing else is more important.

He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)

With Father’s Day approaching, I remember my own wonderful dad. He’s in heaven now but I don’t need to ask him what he would want for me and what would make him happy. He would want me to do what is right and show others kindness and mercy. He would want me to take loving care with my relationships with my mother and brother, with my husband and daughters. He would want me to continue in relationship with them, not matter what else is happening. When we hurt each other, to talk it over and mend the relationship. When life gets busy, to make time for each other.

Perhaps that is why it is so powerful when Jesus reminds us that God is like our fathers. He wants us to read His word because He has something to say to us about our lives. When we are humble and seek His advice, He rejoices. He longs for us to come to Him in prayer because He wants to be close to us. He wants to hear our voice and share our life with Him. When we pray, He rejoices.

Truth be told, I need my mother’s love. I want her encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I hang up, I feel peace.

Likewise, I need my God’s love. I want His encouragement, approval, and wisdom. And when I take the time to humble myself as I read His word, enter into prayer, write down the thoughts He shares with me in my journal, I feel peace.

What does the Lord require of me? What would delight my Father in heaven? Taking the time for relationship with Him. As I do that I find myself having more mercy for others and strength to do the right thing.

But it’s not just for Him. It’s also for me. Because in the end, my improved relationship with Him gives me peace.